AN: well haha since people seemed to like my idea I've decided I'm going to try and update more frequently. Please don't stop reading if I take a while, I do apologize. School is getting ready to be back in and cheerleading practice is going to be in full swing!

Anyways enjoy (:

Addy's POV

"Crucio!" I heard him spit at me as I collapsed on myself in pain. I gasped as it felt as though my lungs were being ripped from my body.

"Mother," I managed to choke out with my dying breath, "help me!" and the world went dark.

I woke up to my alarm clock playing my favorite radio station. I sighed in relief at least ten hours until I had to relive my recurring nightmare. I sat up in bed trying to lower my quickened heartbeat. Man, why does my brain have to keep that particular day on dream repeat? Why can't I be more original in my subconscious state?

I huffed as I finally made the leap of faith and let the warm out from under my covers as my feat hit the cold hardwood floors. I walked groggily and even a little shakily down the staircase towards the enticing scent of fresh pancakes and coffee. Yum, I thought happily. When I saw that my foster mother, Nettie, still hadn't left for work yet I hastily covered my arms with my long-sleeved nightgown. Wouldn't want her to worry about her "troubled" little girl.

I had been doing it for about six months now. Right about the time the nightmares started. I was so scared and had so much self-hatred building inside myself for being there when my mother died (even though I was only seven at the time) I felt the need to punish myself. So, when the first nightmares came in July, I pulled out the razor.

"Hi," I said when Nettie finally got off the phone. She was a tall, tanned, woman, willowy, with blonde curling locks that fell down to around her shoulders. She looked to be in her mid-thirties when really she was in her early-forties (lucky her). She was the opposite of me.

I was pale with black hair that fell in a strait sheet down my back. The other kids in my class used to tease me about looking to different. They would call me the ugly snow white. I sat in silence as their insults cut me like knives and made my ocean blue eyes with flecks of an almost purple color fill to the brim with tears. I would, however, not let them escape. I would not lower myself to let those insufferable little brats see me cry. When I got home was a different story. I once refused to eat, causing Nettie to overreact and put me in counseling…what good that did me.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Nettie pulled me into a tight hug.

"Good morning, Addy," she greeted me in her usual, chipper and cheerful manor, "I've gotta run sweetie! See you tonight at six thirty sharp!" she reminded me as she practically skipped out the door. Tonight was my pre birthday dinner a little something I do with Nettie and my foster brother Ryan every year. A little ragtag family get together. My brother Ryan was something of a heartthrob at Renton High. He was tall and built with a brown shag complete with freckles and moss green eyes. All the girls went crazy over him. I've overheard more girls confessing their love to him and crying over the phone than I've ever seen in those gushy romantic comedies.

Oh how I loathed romance. My mother never had it, she had a one night stand and nine months later I popped out. Of course she didn't know that then. She was naïve and stupid and totally caught up in a complete stranger who she thought just might leave his PREGNANT WIFE for her. I will not be my mother.

That's another thing about me that people don't seem to understand. I think for myself…. and I can make things happen. Once when I was mad at my arch nemesis, Katherine Joy, I made a pair of scissors chop one of her little red curls off. She was so upset they had to call her parents to come take her home. It was one of the happiest days of my life. They said that I was too dark to be an ten year old girl. Nettie just said I had an old soul (whatever that means) when I asked.

And now, on the day before my thirteenth birthday I had a feeling things were going to start getting better. Like someone finally found me, and I'm finally going to be allowed to be myself. No walls, no worries.

AN: sooooo? How did I do lol I thought about different personalities and finally decided to go with dark and a little bid mad if you ask me(: well aren't you begging to read more? If so, click on the little comment box below- that would make me really happy and encourage me to write faster :D