Disclaimer : I don't own CCS. CCS is owned by CLAMP.
Chapter Dedication : To my beta Aoi Itsuki, thanks for sticking up until this 10th chapter.
Thank You for reviewing the 9th chapter: oncinlity, chainedheart999, yankeeCPA, mysticalphoenix-avalon, Krissy, James Birdsong, Malu Daidoji, Midnight Ghost, poochyyxx, Shanaa12, sweet-sunflower, cheng, tomoyo-amethyst, animefan88tv, skybluescramble, Death 101 – Fox Version, belle391, Tsubame Ongaku (I recommend you all to check out her fanfic: The Nightingale and the Phantom of the Red Moon –it's really, really good. I like it a lot.), Shenhui, and bshinigami. Thanks for reviewing, double thanks for those who give me reviews for each chapter… I'm so glad to have you guys.
Summary : Once upon a time, with a Cursed Man and the soon-to-be Cursed Woman. Set 9 years post CCS series.
The Misfortunate Tale: Beauty and the Beast (Not)
:: Chapter 10 : :
Re-Dream
Tomoyo had thought that her 'renewed relationship' with Eriol would have been awkward, but to her mild surprise, it had all gone rather well.
Her idea to accept Eriol back (after all the things he had done to her) was maybe very reckless –almost to the point where it might have been stupid. Up until that time, 2 weeks after the stupid offering, she kept on thinking why she would do such kind of thing. Because Eriol was her friend? Because she liked him? Because she missed him? Tomoyo was someone who believed in the concept of pure love (although she was sure her feelings to Eriol had not reached such level), but on the other hand, she was also someone who couldn't live without logic. Thus, when logic betrayed her (or she betrayed it), she felt lost.
Fortunately or unfortunately, there was Eriol.
He had been nervous and overly overprotective during the first several days after their new pact had been made. He might have always concealed it with his easy-going charm, but there had been that awkwardness. This had made her (them) uncomfortable at first, but eventually he seemed to realize the disadvantage of such situation, so Eriol changed his attitude and tried to loosen up.
He was a contradictive persona, but somehow, she felt safe with him.
"My mother invites you over for dinner. Do you have any plans tonight?" the raven-haired woman said as she followed her 'boyfriend' to the living room of the Hiiragizawa Manor.
Sonomi Daidouji had arrived back at Tomoeda 3 days prior. And since her mother was present, the 'bodyguard' task Sonomi had given to Eriol was technically over. However, the short-haired businesswoman seemed to love the English guy so much that she insisted that he come to the Daidouji Manor. Tomoyo began to think that even if her mother found out what that man had once attempted to do (and, technically, still attempted –although with both parties' permission) to Tomoyo, Sonomi would probably still defend him.
"No, I'm free tonight. Tell your mother that I will be honored to join her in dinner." Eriol cast his casual smile before continuing, "You have no class today, haven't you? Do you have any other plans before the dinner with your mother?"
"It's not like you to consider my plans," Tomoyo replied as she gazed at him in silent inquiry. "Usually you will just one-sidedly ruin whatever schedule I have."
He smirked. "Good. You're used to it."
The girl chuckled. "I'm not. But what do you have in mind anyway?"
She didn't (and couldn't) tell him that lately, she had been freeing her schedule to see him. That was –she sighed – the thing that she would have considered 'uncharacteristically her'. But perhaps her slogan that month was to avoid any logical explanations, and thus, she would try to do so.
Eriol contemplated for a few moments before speaking, "How about…accompanying me to town? I have things that I need to buy."
Deciding that it was not a bad idea, she nodded.
Shopping, in Tomoyo's dictionary, was a form of activity in which sheassisted others to shop and gave objective viewpoints about what looked good on them and what was not. Shopping, to her, was always accompanying others to do the shopping. She rarely shopped for herself. If one wondered how she could always look stylish every single day, she would just shrug and refer her sewing machine as her fashion saver. But the bottom line was… she almost never literally shopped.
And it was queer, she knew, to find that in her 21st years of living, that she was an awkward one when it came to shopping for herself.
She had spent her golden time (3 hours and 10 minutes) succumbing to Eriol's twisted desire to play dress-up on her. Tomoyo sighed tiredly as she walked out of the fitting room for the 18th change of clothes he had forced her to try on. This time it was the black ruffled dress with puffy skirt and white outer layering that somehow resembled a white apron. He also had her wear the knee-length white socks and black mary-jane shoes.
"They look good on you," Eriol commented as he approached the girl to tie some sort of a headband on the top of her head.
She gazed at the mirror and discovered that it was apparently his version of a maid outfit. She recalled that among the 18 change of clothes he had persuaded her to try, there were some that also resembled like nurse outfit and demonic siren outfit. Sighing desperately, she then uttered, "I get it now. It's cosplay."
"You're rather slow in discovering it, aren't you? Yes, it is cosplay, my dear, little maid."
"You are a perverted maniac."
To that, Eriol just grinned. "But they all look good on you. I especially love the short red tube dress. And I would have loved it double times if only you had agreed to put on the fish-net stocking. You refused. Too bad."
"Of course, I refused." She smiled in sweet sarcasm. "I wouldn't let your dirty imagination come true."
"You just won't grant me pleasure," he pointed out jokingly. "Just like when you refused to wear that black mini-skirt…"
"Micro-mini skirt, you mean? No, thank you."
"Too bad. That skirt would really look good on you."
Tomoyo eyed the guy incredulously. It was unbelievable at first, but Eriol had pretty good sense in fashion (besides those several cosplay costumes, some others were fairly normal and… well, stylishly her taste). "Your fashion sense makes me wonder whether you have a slightly gay orientation or not," she shrugged. "But I do hope and pray that you are straight. It feels weird to know that I've kissed a gay person."
"Hey, having great fashion sense doesn't automatically make me gay," he defended. "Fashion is art. And I am not gay," he stated before telling her to change clothes again and that they were done in that shop. When Tomoyo walked out of the fitting room once again in her normal attire, Eriol had finished paying for most of the clothes she had tried. On his hands was one more shopping bag –adding to the other shopping bags he already had in hand.
She sighed. "Let me carry some."
"No. It's your day. You're not going to do any work today," he insisted.
"I thought you said we were doing the shopping for you?"
He laughed as opening the door of the store and letting her walk out to the street of Tomoeda. "Come on, for once in a while, give yourself the luxury. You always prioritize other people. I'm giving you moments where you have the right to spoil yourself. Aren't you grateful?"
"I don't need anybody to babysit me."
"This is not babysitting, Daidouji-san." He chuckled. "I do this because I care about you."
Tomoyo didn't show her feelings, but she couldn't deny to herself that Eriol's little (and perhaps unconscious) revelation had made her heart beat faster. She wondered how he could always have greater control of herbody, but perhaps it was partially because she let him do it to her. It wasn't 'exactly' his fault that she liked him that much.
They walked together until Eriol stopped in front of another shop. Tomoyo gazed up to look at the (umpteenth) shop he probably wanted her to get in.
Blood was drained from her face when Tomoyo realized what shop it was.
A bridal shop.
Tomoyo gazed at the Sorcerer in obvious confusion and slowly asked, "You… want me to get inside?"
He casually, grinningly, and deviously nodded.
She questioned him with horrified eyes.
"It's…a bridal shop, you know. Place where someone buys their wedding supplies like… wedding gowns and such…"
He let a disapproving 'tsk'. "I know that, Daidouji-san."
"So?"
"So?"
"What's the point in me getting inside this store?" she asked in pure horrid.
Eriol was so innocently mischievous. "No hidden intention. You're just right about my cosplay fetish. This is my last request; I want to see you in a wedding gown."
"But Hiiragizawa-san…" she tried to protest but the Londoner had dragged her inside.
The friendly-looking shopkeeper was ready to help them. "Good afternoon. May I help you?"
"Yes," Eriol spoke on her behalf. "Find her the best wedding dress and even if you have to force her to wear it, please, don't hesitate."
The shopkeeper nodded confusedly but proceeded in dragging the helpless Tomoyo to the next room where the shop's collections were stored. "You sure have a queer fiancée. Not in a bad way, of course," the bob-haired girl said.
Tomoyo was about to say 'Oh, he is not my fiancee' but she thought that it would probably be easier if she just got along with Eriol's little act and finished his certain 'obsession' sooner.
But hidden beneath the fun of dressing up, she realized one big irony in it.
Her. Eriol. Bridal shop. 'Fiancée'. Marriage.
Tomoyo couldn't help but feel a sting in her heart.
Because perhaps, that was the closest she could ever get into being Hiiragizawa Eriol's 'bride'.
…
She knew that feeling such angst would just lead her nowhere. Besides, Eriol had meant to present her a fun day (even though perhaps he was admittedly not sensitive about her definition of 'fun'). Taking a few calming breaths, Tomoyo decided to look at things in a more positive way.
Yes, that was the closest she could ever get into being Hiiragizawa Eriol's 'bride' –and thus, she had to savor the moment.
And even though it still slightly hurt to see all those beautiful white dresses the shopkeeper showed her (oh, the irony), she still found excitement in choosing the dress. She imagined that in her future wedding, she would wear her own design. But looking at those gorgeous dresses, she really didn't hate the idea of wearing somebody else's design.
Having been gifted with artistic sense, Tomoyo didn't need a long time to find the best wedding dress for herself. She chose one simple empire-cut, white gown with transparent long sleeves, which was adorned with pretty laces on the hem and neck-line. This gown was complemented with matching veil that would slightly cover her face if she put them on. Misa-san (the name the shopkeeper introduced herself as) approved the beautiful choice and led the other woman to the fitting room to help her wear the gown.
Wearing a wedding gown proved to be a hard task, and Tomoyo needed a full 10 minutes to make sure everything was really in order.
But when she stepped out of the fitting room in that wedding gown to meet Eriol, she supposed that 10 minutes was really worth it.
The bespectacled young man literally had his mouth gaped open. He was stunned, he was mesmerized, he was speechless…
To Eriol, Daidouji Tomoyo in that wedding gown was really, really, truthfully the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
And before he could stop himself, he found himself standing up and approaching the heiress.
With a smile that melted her heart and buckled her knees, he gazed at her in the way she imagined a real groom would do, he opened the veil in the way she imagined her groom would perform, and he kissed her the way she fantasized her groom would kiss.
Soft.
Sweet.
Gentle.
And if she allowed herself to imagine further, she would imagine that it was a loving one.
But of course, she knew the reality, and that he had not enough place in his heart to love her.
When Eriol ended the kiss, his hand was still on her cheek, caressing it, and he said the word that both brought her hope and crushed her heart: "I'm so tempted to say 'I do'."
Tomoyo later realized that the misery won.
Her heart cried at this confession.
He was so close, so damn close, he could be hers…
Almost.
But she knew the dream only lived in her girlish fantasy.
…
They stood still in silence, and would remain so, if it wasn't for the sudden sound of torn clothes.
She didn't need to see what it was –the back seams of the wedding dress were slightly tattered. This little sound made Eriol chuckled. He drew his hand off her cheek and tried his best to suppress his laughter. "Eating too much, lately?"
Tomoyo commented dryly, "I don't gain weight. It's your curse."
Eriol was still laughing as he bent slightly down and used his magic to fix the slightly torn gown back to normal. "I know, I know."
And for the first time, Tomoyo was grateful for the bad luck.
Had it not been for the suddenly torn dress, she knew that she wouldn't have the chance to hide the tear that was threatening to fall.
A month had passed since the day of the incident in the bridal shop and the dinner with Sonomi later that certain night.
There wasn't much going on between Eriol and Tomoyo besides the ordinary. They still continued trying several ways to erase the curse. And thus, the whole month was still filled with series of intense 'romances' (always put it on quote, some things were just hard to obtain for real), bad luck, and fortunately equally plenty saving-the-damsel-in-distress performances. Tomoyo was beginning to get used to all these hectic situations, to the point that she was getting used in hiding her growing feelings.
It was another day that she passed in Hiiragizawa manor. It was raining outside, giving a slightly cold atmosphere. It wasn't that cold to light the fireplace, but it was cold enough to make her slightly uncomfortable.
"The sands are falling in much bigger amounts every time I romance you now," commented Eriol as he casually dropped a thin blanket on her body and sat next to her on the couch in the living room.
Tomoyo murmured soft gratitude for the thin blanket and glanced at her 'boyfriend'. Eriol was currently examining the Hourglass and she focused her attention to the same object. Compared to the first time she saw the Hourglass when they first made the pact months ago, the amount of sand in the lower part of the glass was visibly heaping more than the one in the upper part glass. It wasn't that she didn't notice that what Eriol had commented was right. And perhaps, surpassing the knowledge of the Sorcerer himself, Tomoyo knew why the sand could fall in much bigger amounts lately.
Her feelings had grown.
She knew, that it could be anytime now, that she would really be in love with him.
And thus, she knew that the Curse would be erased anytime soon.
…
Learning through experience, Tomoyo knew that she had better not think about her own feelings. It would hurt thrice as painful when she began to wonder about her feelings –about what Eriol was truly feeling, about Eriol's undeniable love towards Kaho, about the destiny that she already could foreseen –that she and Eriol were not meant to be…
She decided not to over think all those things.
So Tomoyo just gave a smile and leaned back to the couch, trying to relax herself and release of all depressing thoughts.
Eriol gave a quick glance and secretly smiled to himself when she moved her body unconsciously near his. Waving his hand, he magically made the Hourglass disappear. His free arm then snaked around Tomoyo's body and held the girl closer.
A minute passed and when there was no bad luck appearing, he exhaled a relieved sigh. It was comfortable that way: holding the slim woman in his arms, with her soft freesia perfume that calmed his senses and her natural warmth that almost lulled him into sleep.
The more time, the more days he spent together with Daidouji Tomoyo, the more respect Eriol had grown towards the girl. She was, indeed, a very admirable young lady. It was lucky of him to find someone with a heart so kind that she unconditionally agreed to help him in solving his problem. He knew he owed her big time. Not only because she literally agreed to help him erase the curse, but also because she always stayed by his side as he faced his greatest fear and despair.
Eriol could still vaguely remember the old times, when he first became aware of the curse, and he denied its existence. When he acknowledged the existence, he was furious with it. When he finally could accept the curse, he selfishly tried to harm other women for his own benefits.
In return to Tomoyo's devotion to bear all those curses with him, he knew that there was no way that he would let her get hurt. He would (and is already trying to) protect her safety, even though that he realized that it would never be enough to repay her kindness.
Don't you realize that you would only hurt her in the end?
He realized that.
And there was still a twinge in his heart every time he thought the possibility of her hurting because of him.
Almost unconsciously, he tightened his hold around Tomoyo's body and buried his head on her shoulder.
Oh how he needed her…
"Eriol?" Tomoyo questioned at his sudden cuddly self. They had moved into the first name basis.
"Let me be like this for a while," he requested.
She awkwardly nodded, wrapping her arms around his body too, and hearing him whisper.
"I'm sorry."
"…What for?"
"For dragging you into all of these problems. For hurting you. You've done so much for me. I can never thank you enough."
Her amethyst eyes softened upon hearing this. His head was still buried on her shoulder. She intertwined her fingers with his and gave him a smile –a smile that he couldn't see, but was present nonetheless.
The door of the living room creaked open and the two dark-haired pair quickly released each other's hold in a spontaneous attempt.
Mizuki Kaho blinked at the sight her eyes witnessed: the hugging couple that immediately released hold upon her sudden entrance. Realizing perfectly that it was she who caused the sudden awkwardness, Kaho muttered a quick apology. "I'm sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to get my reading glasses."
"No, you weren't interrupting anything," Eriol quickly muttered.
Kaho smiled warmly as she got her reading glasses and headed out. It always amused her how cute the two dark-haired couple really were. "Sorry, again. I promise to be more careful next time," she said with a wink.
The door of the living room closed softly, leaving Eriol and Tomoyo in more awkward silence.
…
…
"I need to get something in my room," he announced suddenly.
She knew that it might be just an excuse, but she couldn't blame him. She really was grateful that he decided to leave her because she needed time to control the sudden uneasiness inside herself. Giving a quick nod, Tomoyo watched as Eriol stood up and left her alone in the living room. The door was closed again and Tomoyo let out a sigh.
She closed her eyes, leaned back to the sofa, and would have probably fallen asleep if it was not for her phone. Her digital planner reminded her that she had an appointment to meet a college friend who wished her to make a dress. Putting on her working mode, Tomoyo immediately stood up and folded the thin blanket Eriol had given her. Snatching her hand bag, she then walked out the living room, searching for Eriol to bid farewell.
Tomoyo could hear his deep voice coming from the kitchen. Walking to the direction, she was about to announce her presence, but then she noticed that Eriol wasn't all by himself. He was talking to Kaho.
…
She knew that it wasn't really her place to eavesdrop, but almost incidentally there was no way she couldn't have heard their dialogues.
"You got it all wrong," Eriol said.
"Hm? What did I get wrong?" Kaho questioned. "You two really look happy together. I honestly think that you two are really meant to be."
"No, we are not. We are not meant to be."
His comment stabbed her heart.
Words really could kill someone, Tomoyo faintly thought.
"Eriol…" Kaho said with pleading voice.
"Do I really not have any chance to be with you?" Eriol questioned. "I'm doing all of this for you, you know?"
…
Of course.
All of these… all of those smiles, all the laugh, all of those hugs and kisses, the warmth…
All of those…were not for her.
Enough.
She had heard enough.
Tomoyo should have known, oh she really should have realized it from the very beginning.
Eriol's love was only reserved for Kaho.
There really wasn't any place for one Daidouji Tomoyo there.
None.
…
Wait.
What was she expecting then again?
It was obvious, too obvious.
This wasn't her place.
She didn't belong to him.
With heart bleeding once again, and too many times in her life, Tomoyo ran out of the Hiiragizawa Manor.
And she cursed herself for ever wanting something that she could never have.
: : To Be Continued : :