Hi everyone! So I'm really excited about this chapter - its probably my favorite so far (Except for the next one, kissing scene! =3) I hope the pacing is alright for everyone, I kind of have this fear its becoming boring but the more I write I'm really falling in love with the idea of Nathan and Edward.
It actually took some convincing for me - because I think BellaxEdward is such a fantastic match. But I suppose the entire idea of this fic is to play on the idea that this connection between Edward and someone...could happen with someone quite different from Bella - and perhaps even the strange attraction to their blood has a role to play.
I really hope everyone is enjoying it thus far =-)
Edward
My family and I gathered in the living room patiently, awaiting what was guaranteed to be an incredibly strange discussion. Rosalie and Alice were looking through a magazine that I couldn't see from my angle. They laughed quietly to themselves, occasionally pointing out an image or paragraph. "What if they had that in red?" asked Alice. Ah, it was a fashion magazine.
Alice thrived on reinventing our wardrobes on a near-daily basis, thankfully Rosalie had a passion for anything even slightly based on her beauty, so this was a standard topic amongst them. "Mauve would make the cut look more dramatic don't you think?" commented Rosalie. Alice nodded in agreement; jotting down notes on the magazine.
Esme hummed a melody that I had written for her quietly to herself. From the sounds emitting from the kitchen it was apparent Esme was making Nathan something to eat, Esme had joked that she was excited to use the kitchen for the first time. She'd been doting on him since he entered the house in his injured state. Edward deserves this. Finally he has someone her thoughts sung while she prepared something I couldn't quite place.
Esme had been convinced that I would be alone forever, that something was different with me. Truthfully, until very recently I was completely content with no other company than my family. Not until recently had it seemed unbearable. Only now that I had a taste of what love felt like. Of course I'd read about it in novels, seen it depicted via Hollywood, none of this properly explained it. Love was like an unstoppable force that hit me like a truck. Even if I'd only known him for several days – none of that seemed to affect the radiating emotion that sang through me.
My eyes drifted to Emmett who sat looking incredibly bored while sifting through the 200 something sports channels we had on our television. His gaze shifted from a Penn state Northwestern game to me for just a moment before he said quite clearly in his thoughts You're insane, Edward. Emmett wasn't one for complications. He liked to live life simply – what we were about to do would be the exact opposite of simplicity; everything would become complicated after today.
Before any of us heard the door open one of our other senses came to life. Even from this distance the smell of Nathan's blood had been sweet on my tongue. However his scent took a change for the worse, much worse. It was just like that first day again – everything about his scent was intensified seven-fold.
The monster in me fought as if I were a newborn. Everyone in the room turned to look toward the hallway; where this mystifying aroma had stayed dormant until now. The scent of blood would not do it justice. With him it was always a smell sweeter than human blood; an aroma that caused the venom in my mouth to leak profusely. This intoxicating scent carried that sweetness combined with the fresh aroma of flowers. Unnatural. However incredibly appetizing; Emmett made a parallel in his thoughts 'like a fine wine' which made me instinctively growl in protest.
Looking around it seemed even Emmett's control was flustered, it had made Carlisle look up from his book to ensure everyone remained in control. I needed to protect Nathan right now in case any of them slipped, but how was that possible when I was Nathan's biggest threat?
Nathan walked from the hallway into the living room with that familiar glow that I had seen several times now; it still left me motionless. Everything about him seemed intensified to the point I wasn't even positive it was Nathan anymore; if you could describe an Angel, the image of him would come to my mind at that very moment.
Although he walked in entirely nonchalantly, even a little awkwardly, just his existence made the entrance seem grandiose. Everyone in the room gawked at him. Rosalie's jaw dropped in shock. Her intentions were clear to me until she realized exactly what was running through her head; and quickly became very focused on the task at hand.
Nathan stood there awkwardly – although his appearance was more like a shining knight; but you could tell he didn't view himself that way. I wanted to bring myself to say something, anything, so he would not have to endure this. I was incapable of speech, my eyes focused on him in wonder and amazement.
Carlisle cleared his throat before speaking, trying to break the dazzling affect he seemed to have on all of us "Nathan, are you okay to sit?" Nathan nodded and took a seat on the couch next to the chair I had been sitting on while giving me a look I didn't understand. Did he want me to sit next to him? Had I made yet another mistake? Emmett was the one who spoke first, looking carefully at the boy whose glow was slowly retreating into his skin as he became more relaxed, "Dude, what are you?"
Leave it to Emmett for the tactful delivery. Nathan shifted uncomfortably while we all focused on him, as though they weren't before, but maybe he didn't notice it until now. No, as observant as he was, he definitely noticed. He looked at me as if he didn't know the answer, or searching for permission maybe?
"What made Jasper think I was dangerous?" Nathan asked in a trained tone – he was sidestepping the question with his own. Nathan's voice rang with the sound of chimes. It was sweet and innocent, yet somehow managed to carry authority to it at the same time. His voice drew me in even further; making me want to answer his question
Perhaps it had a similar affect to the others because Alice blurted out the answer without thinking, something our kind does not do often, "He encountered a creature with eyes similar to yours that could control someone's every action once they made eye contact with her."
Rosalie shot Alice a look filled with malice thinking at the same time I'd expect that from Emmett, but from Alice? Why doesn't she just jump on the human and get it over with. Petty resentments, then again, that was nothing new from Rosalie.
I didn't understand Nathan's expression; but he seemed deep in thought before physically shaking his head and looking toward Alice. "And what was the creature?"
How had we let him control the conversation? I found myself conflicted, part of me just wanted to answer his questions to hear that sweet tone of his voice again and again. It was like the eager student wanting so badly to please the teacher. He hadn't affected me like this in the past, so why was it so potent now? The others were obviously affected. Was Nathan intentionally manipulating us?
"Nathan, are you doing something…different?" Carlisle asked, in an incredibly safe tone.
"What do you mean…" Nathan looked at all of us with confusion plain on his face.
"Its unlike Alice, or any of us really, to speak to abruptly. Even I had to resist answering your question." Carlisle explained
"Ah…" Nathan said when something apparently clicked. "I'm sorry…it's a….um. something that happens when I get anxious." Nathan said sheepishly.
When he spoke this time there was nothing unnatural about his tone, just the standard Nathan that I knew.
It would be best if I remained quiet unless there was an absolute need for me to speak. Everyone knew my bias toward the situation, and would take most of what I said with a grain of salt. Nathan took our silence as a plea to explain what he'd just done.
"It isn't in my nature to fight, although some of my kind of that purpose. Because of that I have ways to avoid fighting…That is one of them.
Nathan paused before continuing his explanation. "It has a lot of uses."
"Most pacifists don't have shotguns stashed in their closets." Emmett joked.
"Well, I'm not all human." Nathan said icily with a partnered glare.
"You're avoiding the main question. What are you?" This time from Rosalie. Her thoughts changed from an attraction back to malice once his illusion faded.
He shot me a frustrated look and I thought I knew what he meant, he was sick of answering questions. Although he had my sympathy, I was thoroughly enjoying these stories. Finally - answers to questions that had been eating at me for days.
"I'm mostly human. But a couple of generations back my grandmother had a child with a Sidhe."
He waited for a moment, eyeing our expressions. We gave him nothing to act on. It wasn't difficult for any of us to remain stone-faced in a situation like this. He looked at us with an expression that hid nothing about what he was thinking at this moment. "Its diluted over the couple of generations, but I'm still not entirely human." He reminded us.
Esme spoke this time "Sidhe, as in aos sífrom Folklore?"
"Yes."
"I thought those were just stories." Mused Alice. She began to run through the stories she had read of what his claimed ancestry was. Once she seemed to remember everything necessary, I watched as a vision began to ride her.
Nathan stood with out family, laughing and smiling.. There was a cake. A birthday? Him and Alice spoke quietly to each other in a friendly matter that had initially made me jealous, until I saw the look that Nathan and I shared from across the room. The same look that Esme and Carlisle had whenever they looked in each other's eyes. Love.
The vision left me on a high that I couldn't begin to describe. I couldn't keep the smile off my face until Alice ruined the moment, always unable to keep her thoughts to herself. "We're going to be great friends Nathan!" she said in an ecstatic tone while he just stared at her blankly.
"Huh?" Nathan asked and turned to me; not giving me enough time to remove the smile from my lips.
"Alice can see the future at times" I explained. It took every part of my being to hold back from keeping the pure joy out of my voice.
"Why are you smiling then?"
I looked away – ignoring his question before shooting Alice a warning glare. Sheesh Edward, chill! I won't tell him. I sighed in relief.
Apparently Nathan got the hint. However it wasn't a complete victory, he shot me a look that made it clear this would be brought up later.
"Ah, my mom does too." He grinned. Odd. I admit that Alice can see the future and he doesn't have the slightest bit of hesitancy. Once again, unexpected. Maybe I should stop using human standards on Nathan. Everything would be much easier.
"Was that how you knew Jasper would be coming?" asked Rosalie hesitantly. We'd been trying to avoid the subject since Nathan arrived. It was only a matter of time before it would need to be addressed. I could hear Jasper's thoughts change from the misery that had been festering within him to listening intently on our conversation.
"Yes." Nathan paused for a second as his face developed a hardness that hadn't been there before.
"He isn't human." He continued.
Nathan hadn't directly asked us what we were – perhaps he found it rude. Redgardless, this is something I would leave to Carlisle.
"Perhaps it would be best if we went our separate paths…" Carlisle mused.
No, please, not that. Not now. I thirsted to know more about him, even his presence had grown to be an addiction. Of it was the obvious answer – both Nathan and my family would be out of harm's reach. And yet it seemed like I wouldn't survive such a trauma
"No. I want to hear the truth." Nathan demanded.
We could just lie to him, I don't see why we owe him the truth.
"We owe him much more than that." I said too fast and quiet for a human to hear. I was hoping Nathan was human enough that this sentence
Carlisle was very uncomfortable with this. He knew he was breaking laws set very strictly by the Volturi. But what choice to do we have? Carlisle was the most compassionate of us all – he would find a way.
"I'll just save the dramatics then." Carlisle sighed before continuing.
"We're…What you would call Vampires."
That one sentence was so forbidden that I'd never heard it spoken. It seemed obvious enough, but actually hearing him the words shocking. All of us seemed to have a similar reaction, everyone's thoughts were wreaking with discomfort now that it was our turn to share secrets.
"Vampires." Nathan said in a flat voice while looking at me.
What was he thinking? Although I was only able to read his thoughts for mere seconds, I struggled vainly in hopes that they would budge – but he remained expressionless. My family's thoughts mimicked mine What is he thinking? Is he in shock? He won't tell anyone, we know his secret. All from different people but I couldn't tell whose thoughts were whose that that very moment. The only thoughts that mattered were the ones I couldn't hear…
"Yes. But we're different from most of our kind." Carlisle added.
"We're vegetarians." Esme joked before Nathan even had time to ask.
I broke out into a small smile not because of the joke, but knowing that Nathan wouldn't have any idea what she was talking about. Before he even asked, which I knew he would, his eyes held the same apprehension that they always did before he asked something he thought he would regret. Maybe I was getting to know him better. I hope so.
"We only drink blood from animals instead of humans." I explained.
"That works?"
"For the most part. It doesn't fully satiate us but its usually enough to resist the temptation." Alice chimed in.
Once she'd had the vision it was apparent how badly she wanted to get to know Nathan; to set her vision in motion. Alice usually got like this once she'd had a vision, I knew from this point on she would be increasingly perseverant in her journey to become friends with Nathan.
"Usually?" he asked, his hear beat flickered, this time from fear.
"Slipups… occasionally happen, although everyone in this room right now has incredible self control." The way Carlisle phrased that was clever, but my entire family had caught on.
"I'm not completely human…" Nathan stated the obvious. "Would I be yummy?"
I'm uncertain whether it was actually what he said, how he said it, or how crazy of a statement it was in this overly-serious discussion. But all of us busted out laughing. I only laughed for a second or two before quickly removing it for a twitching grin.
Nathan didn't find it so comical. He crossed his arms looking vexed, waiting anxiously for a reply.
"Erm…" How inappropriate would a food analogy be? Terribly wrong – but nothing else came to mind.
"Lets see…If animals smelled like stale beer, and humans smelled like whiskey, you would be the finest type of aged wine."
"Oh…" The blood rushing to Nathan's cheeks. Was it from the laughter that had just ensued or my commentary? I wanted to scare the pride out of him. Make him understand that I was a monster, he should have ran out of here screaming the moment he found out we were vampires…
"Jasper isn't here right now." Nathan added, quick to change the subject.
Jasper was the newest to our way of life and has always had difficult controlling himself around humans. It only made sense though, the rest of us were 'born' into this environment, except for Alice who didn't have a memory of her human love for Alice is what kept him here living a life that he had found unnatural and frustrating. Carlisle's clever word play didn't seem to trick Nathan though, now that I think about it, Nathan used phrases like quite often. Never lying but frequently avoiding the truth. I'd need to ask him about that.
He shifted uncomfortably why looking around the room, presumably for Jasper, lacking any subtelty. The encounter with Jasper had shaken him more than I'd initially thought.
Of course it did! Having a violent vampire stalk and attack you bring fear to anyone; even some vampires. No one replied to his comment – they knew he was listening right now.
"Why did he attack me? Was there a group vote or something?" Nathan said accusingly. The vote comment was obviously an over exaggeration – unfortunately - he was exactly right. His anger was apparent. It seemed as though the glow and intensity of the color in his eyes adjusted to his emotional state. I sat feeling miserable, it was me who was completely at fault for his near-death experience. He had every right to be angry. "Its my fault." I admitted.
"No." Esme said shooting me a look I didn't deserve. I won't let him ruin this for himself.
"Edward is taking the blame for something that we all had a part in. He's been defending you from the very beginning. Mone of us expected Jasper to act on it alone. He even hid what he was thinking from Edward to do it…"
"Wait, hid what he was thinking? All of you can read thoughts?" Nathan said – his voice frantic now. Tell him we are blood sucking predators and there's no response. Tell him we know what he's thinking and he nearly jumps off of his chair.
"Only Edward." Alice said.
Nathan turned toward me; anger pulsing through his eyes. He thinks I've been reading his thoughts from the beginning, only if he knew how desperately I wished for that to be true. But if I'd read his thoughts…. "So you've been reading my thoughts this entire time?" he accused me.
The rush of emotion that befell me as I looked into the pain held in his eyes was endless. How could he think that? Everything I'd done to protect him…he had no idea the complexities that existed within my heart. "I can't read your thoughts…Most of the time" I admitted. He seemed to ease at this statement that harshness in his eyes slowly fading. "What do you mean most of the time?"
"Only twice. When we were in the clearing the other day and when I went to your house while Jasper was there…" The pain was back when I remembered that night. Nathan on the floor unconscious like a rag doll. That night was too close to a death-match between my brother and I. Jasper was an expert fighter and even with my advantage of hearing his thoughts – my victory would not be guaranteed.
With luck on my side, and I really do think it was luck and not reason, Jasper agreed to go home while I took Nathan. The original plan had been to take him to a hospital until I saw what he was, I had no other choice to bring him back home.
"Oh…. Wait." Nathan said – a moment later exhaling in what seemed to be relief. The way his body smoothed out when he did this caught my attention. …And then it happened again. His thoughts were my own as he looked at me. Can you hear me? He thought.
I couldn't hide my joy from him, but better yet, I wanted him to see the emotion on my face. I wanted him to have even the slightest inkling of how I felt. It was impossible that he for me with the same intensity that I did him, his body would not have been able to carry such a weight.
However he was working through this situation not for his own benefit, but in that moment I knew it was because of me.
He loved me… These spoken thoughts – I just simply knew. The most exciting part of it was that I loved too. At that one moment it didn't matter how unnatural this love was, between two men, and worst off, between predator and prey. None of it mattered because with what I felt, I could overcome anything. That I was certain.
"Yes" I said gleefully.
Will we be able to spend time alone today?
"Anything you want" I said with a smile that wouldn't leave my face.
He returned mine with his own version. And then the glowing began to grow again. The iridescent paleness of his skin shone right through him as if it was the moon in liquid form. Yes, the glow was definitely tied to his emotions. And this time I knew that Nathan was just as happy that I was. No, happy wasn't the word. Euphoric.
Emmett interrupted in an irritable tone "What's going on?"
"He can choose whether he lets me in or not, he must have been shielding himself from me instinctively before…" I wondered. Had he also been shielding himself from Alice or was it simply what he was?
"Why's he glowing again?" Asked an irritated Rosalie. She hated that he contained a beauty she would never be able to imitate, much less outshine.
Both of us ignored her question, but I noticed Nathan had developed a slight blush under his shining skin.
Esme smiled and thought positively toward Nathan and I; she knew what had just happened.
I wonder how close Hollywood is to the truth. Coffins? Garlic? Sunlight? Do they have reflections?
I laughed before I could catch myself. Everyone looked at me – Emmett and Rosalie irritated with our one side conversation, but Carlisle and Esme were both beaming with joy. Their thoughts were happy for me, and I was grateful. Happy that I could finally put their long worries at ease.
"All wrong. But we can't go out in sunlight" I answered his unspoken question.
His eyes were wide with fear – the thought of me turning into a pile of ashes was entertaining although I didn't like him being upset on my account. "No, not that. People will be able to tell that we are different."
How? Nathan thought – But Alice didn't give him the opportunity. She moved in a flash that I doubt he even saw. She used the rare sunny day to her advantage and sat in the rays of the sun emitting from the window on the other side of the room. She smiled but I grimaced at the thought of her being so forward. I was still waiting for the moment to come where Nathan left the room screaming at what horrible monsters we were. This would be proof we were different.
Amazing! Nathan thought
Her normal pale skin seemed to be painted with diamonds that glistened in reflection of the sun. The invisible diamonds danced across her skin mimicking the suns movement until she chose decided that it was enough, and took a seat next to me. She was excited to become friends with Nathan, but similar to Esme and Carlisle, she was incredibly happy for me as well.
"Can't you hide it though?" the thought of our family walking throughout the school campus glistening like a bunch of jewels ran through his head.
"Hide it?" Rosalie asked – this time genuinely curious.
"Well make it so the humans can't see the…shine. I can change most of my features slightly so people will never see how I really look, I just assumed that if there were other …things like me that they would have a similar ability so they can live amongst humans."
"Ah…So that's why you looked normal before at school?" asked Alice. She sat cross legged in the love seat next to me so that we were touching – but she didn't seem to notice.
Nathan just nodded happily.
"Unfortunately not…That's why we picked Forks, its nearly perpetually overcast so it lets us live somewhat normal lives." Carlisle interjected.
Nathan was excited by something. The thought of him being useful to us thrilled him, he hoped that it would be enough reason for us to keep him around. He had no idea that I wanted him around every moment of every day and night.
"I have an idea." Nathan said as he walked to the window that Alice had stood not a minute before. Edward, come here for a second. His joy sparked my own when I got up to stand next to him, not even bothering to move at human speed. Wow was all he thought, but didn't give it a second thought.
The sun against my skin felt overly warm – but still did not compare to the touch of Nathan's skin. Being next to him right now made his scent even more difficult to ignore but I managed, I used the pain to remind myself how happy I was at this moment. Not even the thirst would bother me right now. I could see myself through his mind, glistening brightly next to him.
There was a similar sensation to that night in the park. It was as if a bug was tickling down my face that trailed down my entire body. I heard several gasps from my family before I saw through their perspective that I was no longer shining. Seeing myself in the sun without that sheen was an emotional journey – something that I had not experienced in nearly a century. Was there anything this boy could not do for me? Maybe it was fate – everything seemed so perfect.
"…How are you doing that?" Carlisle said with difficulty. His mind went through the possibilities of being able to go into the sunlight. We will never have to worry about the sunlight again he mused – the sun was one of the most difficult obstacles in avoiding detection by humans, and here was someone who could suppress this image with seemingly little difficulty. However I hated the idea of using Nathaniel as just a tool.
"Just like how I do for myself. It just takes a little concentration but I don't need to focus it or anything. I need to pay more attention when its on other people." Nathan said – pleased that his experiment had worked.
"I want to try!" Alice yelled and then she was suddenly in front of us. Too close to Nathan. I found myself hovering over him defensively when Alice reminded me through her thoughts Edward, I have a better track record than you. The thought hurt but was very true. I backed down and allowed her to get closer so that the sun hit her in a dazzling array of light. Not a second after the shine appeared did it disappear. These features did not slowly fade either – it was there one second then gone the next.
Everyone was amused by this illusion. I think the image of us in the sun was something that we had all fantasized about at one point or another. One by one my family began gathering close to the window until I finally insisted on going to the balcony. So many vampires close to Nathan made me more nervous than it should have, but I refused to risk his safety ever again.
The group of us went to the balcony right outside the kitchen. Everyone was talking excitedly as if it were a school fieldtrip. Although our house was secluded enough that we never had to hide here – everyone felt incredibly at ease as they absorbed the sunlight without the faintest worry of being seen. The relief is something that cannot be described, but having a paranoia for well over 90 years, and then to have it suddenly obliterated in a moment was a liberating experience. Nathan remained quiet during this spectacle – his thoughts focused on all of us looking normal in the sun rather than a bunch of shining alien-like figures.
"Are you okay?" I asked quietly only for him – but I knew everyone would hear anyway.
He smiled, albeit not a genuine one, just to put me at ease. "Im fine, but with so many people it takes focus to maintain the illusion.
"Could you do this during school?" Rosalie's mind immediately strayed to what the humans would think of her in natural lighting. Sometimes it was so frustrating to hear her thoughts – you would think she would consider that this was painful for him? Although it obviously wasn't, it bothered me that she hadn't thought of the option.
"I can, as long as no one surprises me or makes me lose focus. And you all need to stay somewhat close to me, I'm not sure how far it reaches."
"What type of thing would make you have to drop the illusion?" Emmett asked.
As if on queue the illusion dropped and we were a bunch of shining vampires in the sunlight. Everyone looked around confused by why Nathan decided to drop the illusion. In that moment I felt the intense wave of fear rush over Nathan while I saw Jasper standing in the door way.
Nathan wanted to turn and run away at the first sight of him; truly afraid that Jasper would go in for a second attack and finish the job. "Your kind cannot be left to live" rang through both of our thoughts as Nathan stood dead still – this time those multicolored orbs of his looking straight at Jasper.
Edward will protect me… he thought.
But I knew he didn't really believe that.