At last! I think this is a very eventful chapter that everyone will enjoy. The long awaited first (of many) kisses.

Hope everyone enjoys! Please review! XD

Nathan

This was extraordinary. The group of us, me and the Cullens, sat outside in the sunlight laughing and joking. It must have looked funny to the standard onlooker. A group astoundingly beautiful people surrounding me and laughing merrily in the sunlight. It seemed more like a movie scene, was this actually happening?

It was a change of pace from the dreadfully serious conversation that just took place. Maybe all of us were just avoiding the conversation? It was clear that something with this level of importance wouldn't be resolved so easily. I still had dozens of questions to ask and I had no doubt they did too.

Although most of mine could wait until I was alone with Edward. Hopefully I would be able to break off from the group, I felt oddly out of place amongst such a tight knit family.

Or maybe I was simply making excuses to be alone with him. Our relationship…could it be called a relationship? Was this confusing cluster-fuck quickly developed emotion a relationship? I don't know, but the feeling was there and that's all that mattered. People say love at first sight doesn't exist – I'd agree with that. This was not love at first sight it was something much more. A connection that grew with every waking minute whether I fought it or not, thankfully, I was more than willing to succumb to this unstoppable force.

The moment was over. For some reason I completely overlooked the possibility of Jasper being in the house, no idea why. Maybe it was selective thinking, but the image of the person who had very recently tried to kill me sulking in his room hadn't come to mind.

All of the Cullens turned dead still – not looking at Jasper, but me. Was he going for a second try? Was this all a distraction?

Would the Cullens let Jasper kill me? Edward wouldn't…although I wasn't fully confident.

Edward gave me a panicked glare after he'd obviously heard my thoughts. None of the Cullens seemed tense or afraid with the exception of Edward, was he just being overprotective? I desperately scanned all of their eyes in hopes they would bring me to ease while the physical embodiment of my fear stood calmly in front of me.

Jasper began to walk toward me in a slower than human pace. Both his body language and his expression were safe and very careful – but in his eyes I saw something different.

Remorse. It broadcasted clearly through those amber eyes of his. I couldn't help but pray that this wasn't my doing. My body remained motionless as Jasper moved closer to me. Both Alice and Rosalie had shifted themselves gracefully so he could come within an arm's reach. I wanted to run away. Turn around and run as fast as I could and never look back. Of course that wasn't an option…The memory of earlier today replayed; demanding my attention.

I'm going to make sure no one ever hurts you again.

Had he meant it? Seeing the memory and feeling Edward right next to me made me suddenly feel safe. Edward whispered quietly to me "I meant it."

My entire body warmed up, and suddenly I was completely safe yet again.

Only now did I begin to take in Jasper's features. I'd only seen him at school, and last time I'd seen Jasper…well…I had other priorities. Surviving for example.

"Hello, Jasper." I said, keeping my voice even; but an threatening undercurrent peaked through.

"Hello…" he said quietly. He wouldn't look me in the eyes which took me by surprise. I wasn't sure how old Jasper was, but I arrogance came with old age. Well, all I had to compare with was my mother – but she swore all of our kind were overconfident.

"How…do you make them stop?"

Misery echoed with Jasper's every word. Everything was clear – when he had looked into my eyes last he was assaulted with visions of his own past. No wonder it was so effective, certainly a vampire has many things that they would feel remorseful for. Afterall, don't most of them kill humans to survive? Jasper also had many more years than your average human, that many more regrets.

The guilt stabbed me like a knife. Doing what I'd done to him was against my very nature. It was something done unknowingly out of desperation. How did I know exactly what I'd done to him right now? No idea, things seemed to work out that way for me. The answers just seemed to be there without having to ask them.

I took a risk at Jasper's expense. How could I have done that? More importantly…How could I fix it?

There was only one way I could think of – and no one would like this idea; myself included. Only now did I realize how close everyone was. I needed my space. Everyone needed to go away but Edward, he could stay as close as he wanted. Preferably closer…but Edward always remained a safe distance from me – why was that?

Edward – I can fix this.

Turning from Jasper, Edward's body became less rigid once he heard my thoughts. "How?" he asked hesitantly.

I fought hard not to think of what I was considering, instead I focused on the conversation we had in the living room.

"Can we have some privacy….I'm getting uncomfortable." What a lame excuse. Most of them must have been suspicious about my sudden request because Edward muttered something so quickly I couldn't comprehend. Whatever he said incited a scowl from Rosalie as she left the room; hand in hand with Emmett.

"Alice…Stay please." I asked, she smiled openly at my request, Edward rolling his eyes.

"Remember when I said Sidhe usually have a…niche?"

That was tactful. This was a subject that would need to be approached very carefully…

Both Edward and Alice nodded while I leaned back on the railing of the balcony trying to calm myself.

"Well, I'm descended from several lines of Fertility deities."

I'm only descended by beings that were worshipped as gods. That was probably the safest way that I could explain this. If I was more comfortable being forward I probably could have replaced 'Fertility' with sex. They were smart, they'd figure it out.

"No." Edward demanded – fury raging in his voice.

"I can fi-"

"No!" Edward yelled. "Its not happening, I won't allow it."

"What is it?" Alice asked in a neutral tone while she lightly touched Jasper's arm. Jasper appeared to be in a different world while this conversation took place – his eyes were focused on nothing in particular.

Is it because you're jealous? I thought accusingly toward Edward.

"You don't even know." Edward snapped condescendingly, his words holding a venom to them. He glared at me infuriated in silence – surely he was thinking hard for a reason to not let me do this. How could he be so selfish? I just wanted to fix what I'd done in the first place.

"Oh…" Alice said with a blank expression.

"He won't hurt him Edward. Give him more credit than that…." Alice crossed her arms stubbornly.

Now I knew why Emmett was irritated when we had these one-sided conversations, it was really annoying to only hear bits and pieces of a conversation. Just enough to keep you curious, but never enough to fully satisfy.

"What is it…?" Jasper asked in a weakened tone. Even speaking seemed to be a chore for him.

"I think I can fix it…It might be a bit…unexpected."

That was putting it lightly.

"How so?"

"Well…The way most things work for me…Is through sex or some sort of body contact. I don't know why, but I'm sure I can I can fix it."

"You need to have sex - ?" Jasper asked incredulously.

Oh god no!

"Oh. No." I cut him off.

"Everything will be fine." Alice smiled darkly. She gave me a look that told me she knew exactly what I was planning.

I turned toward Edward in one swift movement – I wanted so badly to close the distance between us. Even now as he heard my thoughts…he didn't make a movement forward. Why? What are you thinking?

"That he doesn't have the self control to not hurt you…and I can't put you in danger like that." He said in a whisper – could Jasper and Alice hear our conversation? I hated the feeling that nothing was private in this house.

He won't hurt me. I won't let him.

Edward laughed darkly "You find out what we are and you think you know everything…you have no idea what we are capable of."

I began to think in Cantones. The fact that he didn't know Cantonese was a guess, and it seemed like a correct one judging his facial expression once my thoughts raced in the tonal language. Why was he being so cruel? I just wanted to help…I wanted to be useful.

"Please trust me…" I whispered. I reached out for his and took it with both of mine. It was so cold…should have guessed. The sensation brought a high that I'd never experienced before, over something so minimal. Physical contact was not something I was new to – of course – with my talents being what they were.

Edward pulled his hand away…It took me a moment to realize it was gone. So what was I? Something to look at not to touch – but I couldn't touch anyone else? I didn't know what he wanted, he opened his mouth as if to speak but I stopped him. "No."

I pivoted to be facing Alice and Jasper again, although when I spoke it was not for them. "This is not your decision to make, Edward." My tone was cold as ice, and from Alice's expression, my face probably depicted something similar.

"Are you both okay with this?"

Jasper turned to Alice and took her in his arms. The two of them looked at eachother; their expressions unwavering. Everyone in this house could have unspoken conversations, a talent I wish I had at this very moment. The unspoken things that I would say to Edward…This was one of the many times I was grateful that I spoke Cantonese, usually it was for shock value. Now it was utterly practical. No one would be reading my thoughts right now.

Edward was behind me not saying a word although you could certainly feel the tension that was beginning to radiate off of him. Why was he staying quiet? Most people at this point would have just left the room if they decided they lost – was he still going to try to protect me? It would be entirely unnecessary. He needed to stop treating me like a human, like some fragile piece of art so easily broken. I'd show him.

Jasper looked at me and nodded. This was signal enough for me – now or never. Time to save the killer.

I took a step toward Alice and Jasper; still in eachother's arms. Edward took a step with me nearly touching while I could feel the power rise up from my solar plexus and felt it flow through my body like fire.

Edward, do not touch me.

I smiled and new I was shining brilliantly. The group of us were quintessentially unnatural looking. Alice and Jasper glimmering brilliantly in the sunlight – their shine was more intense and demanding compared to mine. I began to glow like a full moon, or the reflection off the evening ocean. It was something progressive that built up over time until after a few seconds – I was the moon and they were the sun.

"Jasper." I said, commanding his attention.

This was one of those moments where I logic and instinct clashed. I began to reach out to Jasper's face ready to touch that cold soft flesh. The logical part of me was screaming in despereation while I fearlessly went to touch this murderous stranger. It seemed to take minutes for my hand to take the journey from my side to Jasper. During this time I began to call every sensation of lust and love, I remembered every moment of joy that I'd experienced throughout my very short life.

"NO!" Edward screamed

The sound made my hair stand on end but I chose to ignore it. This was something that must be done and I was the only one who could fix it. What about that did Edward not understand?

Was he so blind that he refused to accept that perhaps Jasper wouldn't be able to attack me? When Alice had mentioned that Jasper had faced a creature that could control the mind's of others…I wasn't entirely confident that it was Sidhe he encountered. But its true that this was possible.

My mother explained it as 'rolling' someone. And it wasn't so much mind control as you could make them obsess over you for a short period of time. It happened naturally with humans – it was something that we couldn't control, it even happened to me although I was mostly human. My affect was just more controllable and intensified – its in my nature to be desired. While the person was under this affect usually they listened to everything we had to say…so the important question here was, could I roll a vampire?

Contact. Just like Edward's Jasper's skin was cold to the touch. His face moved against my hand like a lover would. Although I didn't deserve this motion, soon the lust would be too much for him to control. The hard part would be making sure the lust was focused toward Alice, not me.

Several things happened at once. I hadn't considered how close my wrist would be to Jasper's mouth and nose. This was an epic oversight. While I gently brushed his skin I heard a low growl emit from the deep bowels of his throat. There was no time to react but I just pushed. Pushed all of that emotion and sensation from me to him. Images of Jasper and Alice having sex rushed through my mind, as the vision rode me I knew everything would be alright.

I didn't have the opportunity to see what happened next.

It was so quick that I felt the urge to vomit. In a single movement I was in Edward's arms moving at a speed that made my stomach jurgle in every which direction. The features of the house moved so fast that I couldn't even make anything out as more than a blur until we abruptly stopped.

The room mostly spotless with the exception of books thrown carelessly on the floor in a couple of spots. It was done in a navy and white motif with no bed, just a futon couch toward the outer wall. The futon was one of the first things I noticed…since after our little trip Edward placed me down carefully while my eyes began to refocus..

No. Decorations can wait, Edward was in deep shit.

I glared at him in my furied state – determined to me angry with him. Admittedly it was difficult. All I wanted to do was hold him. He stood there perfectly still while I continued with my dumbfounded gaze. No. I couldn't hold him because he wouldn't allow it

"What exactly are you doing?" I said in a tone so acidic that it even shocked me.

"I promised to protect you Nathan…even if that means from yourself."

"I was in complete control." I hissed

"You have no idea how close Jasper was to attacking you…It was too much for him."

"He would have been helpless Edward, and then I would have fixed everything. But no, you whisked me away like some freaking damsel in distress." I began to raise my voice just slightly unknowingly.

"How would he have been helpless?" Edward asked – it sounded like he didn't even want to know the answer.

"You seem to want to forget the fact that I'm not entirely human. I'm not some fragile breakable thing to be protected."

So fragile… Edward whispered so quietly it was barely audible

I ignored him.

He looked at me with rage that countered mine. No, he was not allowed to be angry right now.

"Don't you get it? It…pains me to think of you being in danger. I…" he stopped mid sentence.

My heart stopped while he left me waiting, what was he going to say? I knew I'd stopped breathing but wouldn't dare take a breath in case it made him change his mind. Every inch of my body yearned to hear what the end of that sentence was…

"Nevermind" Edward said quietly, much to my absolute misery.

"Don't do that!" I said a little too loudly. "Do you know what that does to me? How confused I am? We don't all have the luxury to read thoughts."

My face felt warm with the sudden rush of emotions, the heat that began to slowly rise to my eyes made me uncertain whether they were tears or actual fire. Edward moved at a human speed and sat next to me cross legged, just centimeters away from my leg. Oh how badly I wished he had made that extra distance. That was how it always was, just close enough to plant the seed of desire but never enough to feed my constant wanting.

We sat parallel– both wishing that the other would speak first. Thankfully, he began to finish where he'd left off..

"When I saw you…unconscious…and your pulse so weak. I empty at the thought of losing you." He laughed bitterly – although his eyes watched me eagerly for my reaction.

"What's funny?" My rigid posture changed into something much more relaxed. The anger had been something welcome, anger was always easier to manage that other emotions. Fortunately, I just couldn't manage to stay angry at Edward for any extended period of time…I suppose that just comes with the package. Perfection is hard to be mad at.

"I do so many things to avoid scaring you – but it must be hard to understand the complexity of my emotion towards you…afterall we've been acquainted for so little time. I cannot explain it."

"You don't need to…" I smiled. I began to grow lightheaded while he confessed to me – as if I as lost in his words. Everything was so intense I could physically feel the difference in my heart. Suddenly it was like my entire body was placed under a heater – a warm sensation enveloping me from the inside out.

"You're glowing again…" Edward said with a smirk on his face.

"What's the smirk?" I grinned. I bet he put the pattern together – he could make me glow like he could make a schoolgirl blush.

I tried to suppress the glow so that I wouldn't be wearing my emotions on my sleeve, a very bright, very unnatural sleeve. In the end it just didn't seem worth it, I was with the man I loved. I did love him – it didn't matter if I'd known him for days, hours, or years. This sensation was so pure that every part of me knew that it was permanent.

"I wonder…" he said teasingly.

He used my glowing embarrassment to his advantage and moved with feline grace toward me. I watched helplessly like a deer in the headlights while his hand lightly stroked my face. His face came closer and closer to mine – and I knew that my face must have been a brilliant shade of red. He was so beautiful it was beyond unnatural, I was completely and utterly captivated by the rawness of all of his features. His hand played at my neck until it acted like a catalyst, I moved my head toward his aggressively until our lips connected.

To me a kiss had always been a means to an end. That was my purpose and I was good at it. However…this…was something entirely different. His lips were like cold velvet playing across my own with masterful technique. The coolness of his lips combined with the temperature of his hand at the back of my neck played with my mind. Inside was so hot, so warm, and yet Edward's frigid body seemed to be a relief from this fire building up inside me. Edward was the perfect solution to this – and suddenly the desire of his cold skin touching every inch of my body seemed to be the only way to make the heat stop rising, the sensation of it made me emit small hungry noises in the midst of the kiss. I knew as the heat grew so did the shine to my skin, I didn't care. Let Edward see me at my peak.

Our mouths were eating at each other in desperation – my hands played wildly in his hair as the lust began to manifest itself. I could feel my lust being siphoned and passed off onto Edward. This was wrong, I knew it, but I couldn't help what was naturally happening…I probably could have stopped it…it felt so amazing. Is this what humans felt when I had kissed them? I was like an addict who couldn't stop – every part of me ached to have him touch me.

My…affect on Edward grew as our hands began to grasp at each other desperately, the desire to touch and be touched was something that I could invoke, yet had never felt it myself. My pulse thrummed in my throat when I became entirely consumed by my own self-generated lust. With every passing second my desire grew – I could feel Edward's lust building in correlation with mine. Was he reading my thoughts? Did he know my every desire? Was that why he was so good?

Couldn't think…not anymore…all there was were his cold lips and hands, teasing my every want and need. Edward was all that I would need – for ever and ever.