Definitely a shorter chapter - but I'm still trying to catch up from the holidays! Not much time to write! I wanted to thank everyone for the nice reviews and also adding this story to there alerts. Enjoy!

Edward

What was I thinking. Throughout my entire unnatural existence I've developed a nearly impenetrable resistance to any sort of physical temptation. Until I met Nathan, that temptation was exclusively the thirst. Now there was an entirely new realm of desire that I must thwart. As if these desires could get any worse, Nathan seemed to have the uncanny ability to multiply these alluring fantasies.

I was taking a huge risk. Allowing myself so close to his neck…to that pulse that perpetually reminded me of how different we were. His intoxicating scent dominated me while I continued to abstain from everything all logic and went in for a kiss.

His pulse hastened when we connected. It felt like electricity playing across my lips; this foreign sensation playing my mind and body. Perhaps with time the burning deep in my throat would ease. His hands moved with artful technique, brushing mundane parts of my body, and yet each new touch brought me to a new thrilling high.

Every part of me ached with need. It didn't matter how or where we touched – just as long as his flesh was next to mine. My thoughts ran irrationally, disregarding any sort of warning of my inevitable loss of control with a grain of salt. My skin tingled lightly – this familiar tickling was a sign more than anything of my impending loss of self-control.

Nathan was doing something to me that I couldn't understand…and what was truly terrifying… was that I wanted him to. Every part of me ached for him to completely consume me in this lust. Whatever affect or illusion he'd manifested between the two of us made every single touch bring me to a state of ecstasy. Was this something intentional – or merely a…bonus of being Sidhe?

No. What I'd feared. This is why I'd have to betray all logic to kiss him, my own sexual desire began to fuel the thirst. My curiosity was no longer the reason I listened to his pulse. The monster reared its head – thinking only of that ruby colored elixir that was so close…I knew he would taste even better than he smelled. I broke the kiss and began to trail lower down his chin toward his neck….my lips grazed the soft skin just between the jaw and neck. I exhaled deeply bringin him to shiver. I knew he didn't shiver from fear, but the affect that this had on him.

His thoughts were clear as any radio reception to me, I held his wrists down with my all of my inhuman strength. The monster in me enjoyed this, his helpless whimper sent thrills through me that Nathan had been eliciting just moments earlier. The monster wanted him to struggle now that he was certain that death was close. And yet, he waited quietly, wincing in discomfort while my hands slowly grinded his two wrists together. Even his thoughts were calm. He won't hurt me Nathan thought so confidently.

He was so wrong…

"No!" I screamed – recoiling from his touch.

I jumped as far back as I could, gluing myself to the wall while every part of me wanted to lunge at him and bleed him dry.

Now he would understand why it was so dangerous for us to be together. Even the smallest intimate action would provoke a frenzy within me. Surely he saw it in my eyes – and yet once again his thoughts were a mystery to me.

I'd convinced myself that this was evidence enough that he was afraid of me. It would only be a matter of time before he left…'that would be for the best' I constantly reminded myself between the convulsions of rage that burned through me. Unlike me, he had the tools to live a normal life. He deserved that gift.

I used all of my concentration to keep my muscles from diving into an aggressive stance. Nathan stayed perfectly still on my futon, his palms resting on both of thighs. The glow from his skin had faded entirely while he stared at me with his beautiful eyes.

Normally I was mystified by the pure beauty of them, but at this very moment, they seemed to taunt me, almost calling me to go and attack. He was so helpless sitting there, that fact both hardened by will to protect him while provoking the monster even more.

"Esme" Nathan said seemingly out of nowhere. Even though it was barely above a whisper, the word sounded as if he was calling Esme. What seemed even more curious was the fact he had realized our extra sensitive hearing so early. He was so perceptive…. I would be able to manage being with him if he'd just been human. But his scent… Was an ability? An ability meant only to me? To torture and tempt me every second that he existed? It didn't matter, even thinking about that aroma made my knees buckle in place.

"He's in pain…but I think if I try to help him it will make it even worse." Sadness oozed from Nathan's words.

He wasn't afraid of me – he still seemed entirely confident that I wouldn't hurt him. At what point would he finally realize how many times he's come close to death by my hand? Nathan opened his thoughts to me as if he knew I was pained by the silence.

The thoughts didn't come in words. I just knew. He didn't want me to go through this, he was blaming himself for my weakness. I saw myself through his eyes looking absolutely fearsome even in my kneeled stance. Esme and Nathan exchanged a glance before Esme came to kneel next to me, her hand gently rubbing my back while fighting to get a position to look me in the eyes.

In the midst of my hunger I could hear Nathan get up from the futon and walk out of the room. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. A low gutteral sound emitted through my throat while the need began to transcend into a new level. The fact that my arousal seemed to make the thirst even more difficult to control around Nathan presented a very large problem. Nathan's…ability seemed to work as a catalyst for the thirst. I needed him here, right now.

Why? I couldn't be sure if I needed him to get through this…or if the monster just wanted a second chance.

"Edward, fight it." This time from Carlisle. I hadn't even notice him come in, was I really that close to killing Nathan that I was so oblivious to my surroundings?

How am I so stupid? How could I have done this? I'm so fucking stupid…

It was Nathan. He thought that he was the one at fault? If I wasn't so close to killing him I would be there in seconds to make everything clear. Unfortunately…I was.

"this feeling" I choked out. How could was it to describe a sensation that was produced by neither Human nor Vampire abilities?

"Edward, what is it?" Carlisle asked with a ton of worry in his voice.

Please let him be alright. He can fight this. He can do anything he puts his mind to, Esme thought passionately.

The insanity that had been manifesting itself began to fade. I could literally feel a layer of something being removing itself from my skin; the intense sexual ache that echoed throughout my body began to dissipate. Finally I could move freely with nothing paralyzing me but the thirst; which was easily manageable. Well, perhaps not easily…I would have to hunt very soon.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked – bringing me back to reality.

Why did Nathan leave? Was he afraid of what Edward would do? He thought to himself.

"I'm…not sure." I admitted.

"You need to hunt – You haven't since before Nathan came." Esme scolded me, although her tone sounded more of relief than irritation.

"That…wasn't the thirst."

"What do you mean? What was it then?"

"I don't even know if it was something Nathan did." I trailed off – not wanting to place him at fault when I wasn't even sure what had happened.

"Edward, explain what happened." Carlisle's voice remained neutral – but his thoughts were focused on the safety of his family.

"After we kissed – something began to build up. It was like a thin layer of something covering me…I just needed to touch him and be touched. I knew what was happening – I could have stopped sooner, but I didn't want to. And then the thirst came…"

"Edward go hunt – we can sort this out afterwards." Esme pressed.

Do I have any self control? Edward will never want to speak with me again. I practically raped him…Absolutely vile. I never meant to do this to him…Need to leave. Go somewhere far. Where I cant hurt him again.

"Nathan…I need to go to him."

I couldn't let him think that any of this was true – how could he possibly consider for even a second that he was at fault? If he'd found someone human…none of this would have been an issue.

"If you go to him without hunting – you could risk hurting him." Carlisle reasoned.

Unfortunately for me, his reasoning was sound. It shouldn't take more than an hour, except that I would need to get far enough so that Nathan's scent wouldn't be anywhere in the vicinity. If his scent reached me while hunting, I was certain my control would not hold.

Nathan's thoughts were no longer words but a twisted array of awful images; most of them completely untrue. I was once again in this position. Nathan was so close, but there was yet another reason keeping me from him when he needed me the most. Running southeast for 20 minutes should keep me out of his scent's reach. I could be back in less than an hour.

One hour. Please Nathan, just be okay for one hour.