Sorry guys, I changed my name last week but it's still little old me writing this! :) I'm sorry it took a while but I'd written 23 different versions of this chapter because I couldn't get it right. I hope this chapter is alright and I didn't rush it so much. Enjoy :)

"Shivers!" I held the door handle so I wouldn't fall. "What the hell is up with people popping out of mid air?" I took a deep breath and slowly lifted my head. My eyes were looking straight into deep brown ones. Balthazar's eyes. Balthazar was here. The man who made Lucas fight while he knew that Lucas's life was hanging on a string. The man that I once trusted, who I thought would keep Lucas safe. If he and Lucas didn't leave last night then Lucas would still be human. Maybe then things just could work out between Lucas and me if Lucas was still human. Instead he was turned into his worst nightmare, thanks to Balthazar.

... Balthazar knew Lucas was weak. He knew...

I wish he'd never found me that night with Lucas. I wish I never told him about Charity. As much as I wanted to, I knew that you couldn't just turn back the clock but that still didn't stop the anger that soared threw me when I looked at his scared and scratched face that was almost translucent face from the lack of blood.

"What are you doing here?" I kept my voice guarded even though it quavered a bit.

"You're still mad" it wasn't a question; it was more like a statement. He tried to meet my eyes but I didn't meet his "Bianca, I seriously can't blame you and I don't think I'll ever be able to say sorry enough to finally make it up to you, ever. And you can hate me all your life if you want because I know I deserve that much-"

I interrupted him "Balthazar, shut up and just answer the question"

He leaned against the old door frame as if to keep him up "Well" He shifted his weight from one foot to the other making the wooden floor planks creak with his weight "I wanted to see if you still hated the guts out of me..." his eyes scanned my face "Which I can see that you do. I also wanted to apologize... for everything. For getting you and Lucas into my mess and for anything I ever did to hurt you"

"Save it because I don't want to hear it" I started to shove pass him in the doorway but he blocked my exit. Why was he so irritating sometimes times? I turned around and scanned the room for something that was sharp that I could use against him but there was absolutely nothing in the attic except dust covered boxes. I returned my gaze to Balthazar again "Let me go" I muttered, my voice sounded hard and cold.

His eyes pleaded with mine "Bianca please hear me out just this once. I know and I really understand that a lot has changed-"

I stopped struggling to push pass him in the doorway and his body relaxed a bit "A lot?" I raised an eyebrow "Balthazar everything has changed"

He looked puzzled "Okay so, Charity escaped, again and she turned Lucas into a vampire. And I get that you're a wraith now so if you're talking about your whole relationship with Lucas, then I'm pretty sure there has to be a way, right to make it work? I mean, just because you're a wraith and he's a vampire that doesn't mean that you guys can't be together again. There might still be a chance that things could work out for you guys. Isn't there?" His eyes wandered around the room before landing on me again.

I shook my head and looked around the vast room for a second before speaking again "Balthazar, I can't even feel" he frowned, as confused as before "I can feel feelings but I can't like feel things on the outside. I can't feel the touch of someone like when Lucas kissed me this morning. I didn't feel that, I didn't feel him holding my hand. It's kind of like being trapped in a glass box not being able to experience that kind of feeling and to top it all off I think it hurt Lucas a lot just by that single kiss" I explained as best as I could but Balthazar's expression remained confused.

A moment of silence blanketed us before he broke the ice "So" he ran his hand through his dark brown hair "You can't feel on the outside?" he asked. I nodded and he took my hand in his. "You can't feel this?" I couldn't feel the usual roughness of his hands on mine like before so I automatically shook my head. He let my hand drop from his; his deep brown eyes were perplexed and were tinted with worry. "Can you feel this?" he ran his hand along my cheek.

I felt the tears spring to life in the back of my eyes when I shook my head. Then he moved his face closed to mine so it hovered inches from mine. His expression was questioning. "Can I?" he asked slowly. I was taken aback. I had kissed Balthazar before once. One night had come so close to giving up on Lucas completely and falling for Balthazar but we were luckily was interrupted. Right now, what more was there to lose? So I let out a sigh and nodded then he brought his face caustiously closer to mine so that I could feel his breath. In seconds his lips were on mine, I waited to hopefully feel something , a small feather touch hopefully but he sprang back instantly, his back pressed against the door "Oh Christ!" he gasped. His eyes were wide in shock and his chest was rapidly rising and falling. I released the breath I was holding and stumbled backwards. Minutes passed and we were blanketed with the same silence and stillness, the only sound was our ragged breaths that echoed through the room.

I sat on one of the boxes and let my mind wander to all the times that I spent with Lucas, talking, laughing, kissing... They felt so distant. How we always used to walked together, his hand in mine. The way he always entwined our fingers so perfectly with mine. The times I watched him sleep. The soft rise and fall of his chest against my heads. The beat of his heart. He was alive- I was alive. The way he kissed me goodnight, the kiss always burning on my lips long after. How could everything we had just break down to nothing? Just fall apart all of a sudden with no warning? I l closed my eyes and let out a soft sigh.

"What are you going to do Bianca?" Balthazar asked suddenly, his voice barely a whisper "Now, what are you still fighting for?"

"I need answers" I said "There has to be a way out. I didn't choose this life so there might be a loop hole somewhere. There always is" my eyes fluttered open.

"And if there isn't?" he looked at me.

"I don't know. Miss Bethany might know or my parents which is why we need to go back to Evernight. We need answers and reasons, fast" I started pacing around the room. I couldn't imagine facing my parents now, let alone Miss Bethany not that she really mattered. I stopped on my spot and turned to face Balthazar "Did that kiss- did it hurt you?"

He looked at me blankly for a few seconds before he muttered "Yes, it felt like that time with the Black Cross when I was tied up and being sprayed with real holy water. It hurts well- burns like that like that"

"I'm sorry" I whispered and stopped pacing. I sat on the floor and crossed my legs. The silence wrapped around the room again. "So, if we can't mix DNA that probably means that Lucas and I- we can never really be together again, ever" I whispered.

He wasn't listening to me; he was lost in his own thoughts. "I can still kill Charity" he mumbled finally.

I stopped scribbling on the wood with my nails and instead looked up to find him pushing himself up from the floor, brushing dust of his jeans "You can kill Charity or are you going to kill Charity?" I asked.

"I am going to kill Charity" he ran his fingers threw his bronze hair "And I'm going to kill everyone in her tribe too. She deserves to be the one in pain this time"

I kept my eyebrow raised still not buying what he was saying "And how do you propose to do that?"

He thought for a second before replying "Well I'm going to ask Lucas if he-"

"NO!" I sprang to my feet instantly, nearly slipping. Maybe that last few minutes between us was meant to mean something but what he did to Lucas that was too much "You're not going to do anything to him. You're never going anywhere near Lucas, ever. Even if you just supposedly want to 'talk to him', you can just forget it"

He groaned "Bianca please listen-"

"Listen? Balthazar don't you think you've ruined people's lives enough already? What more is there to listen to?" His expression changed instantly, it was like I drew a stake right threw him. I didn't regret my words though, he deserved what he got.

"I just want to ask him for weapons. Lucas's is part of The Black Cross, he should have something dangerous on him" he was looking out the window, he didn't meet my eyes.

I replied quickly "He doesn't have any"

A crease appeared in the middle of his forehead and he turned back to me "What do you mean"

"We used tools from the garage. You should too. There's bound to be something sharp and deadly in the garage"

"How do you know?" he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Because Lucas and me went out once too look for vampires in the city and all the weapons we had on us was garden tools" Balthazar let out a low laugh which I frowned at.

I remembered Vic and Ranulf waiting downstairs "I have to go" I said moving towards the door.

He didn't stop me this time. He let me walk straight ahead. I grasped the banister and started jogging down the stairs; lost in my thoughts not looking ahead, I managed to slam right into someone's chest. After a slight hesitation I felt the person's arms wrap around me and hold me close. The embrace was so familiar to me. I looked up and realised that I'd run straight into Lucas's arms, again.

Did the ending make sense? The next chapter will be better, I promise :) Oh and a huge thank you to:

Lou the Acid Singer, Etenally yours forever, Bianca666, , ciccia96

You're reviews made my day! :) Thank you!

I do not bite so please tell me what you think (truthfully!), I do reply to every review (except anonymous ones!)Thank you! :)