When Gilbert had pressed his lips to hers, Matilda had felt a thrill go through her. It was wonderful and it felt so right. He had pulled back only for the both of them to dive in once more for a more heated kiss. As their lips locked Matilda felt herself getting hotter and aching to press against the albino. Then, as his hands were making their way to her ass, she had remembered her deception. In a sudden panic she pushed away from Gilbert, took in his surprise and apologized before running up to her room and slamming and locking the door. If she had let that continue he would have found out and she was certain he would hate her for deceiving him.

Shakily she went over to her bed and lay down, pulling the sheets over her and curling into a ball. Why did this have to happen? She truly liked the albino but after what had just happened she wasn't entirely sure she could continue just being friends. She squeezed her eyes shut and fought back sobs as her heart ached painfully in her chest at the thought of what she had to do to keep her secret. She would have to make him hate her, somehow. Maybe she could tell Alfred that he'd tried something like Russia. No, even if the two seemed to get along Matilda knew how protective her brother was of her. She was his 'little' sister and any nation that crossed the line was on his hate list. She didn't want Gilbert beaten to a bloody pulp, she just wanted to make him not want to come back and see her ever again.

There was a knock on her door and she stilled her sobs as Gilbert called out to her.

"Mattie? Birdie, what's wrong? Look, I'm sorry if I scared you down there." She could tell he was sincere, which made what she felt she had to do hurt even more. "It won't happen again. I'll behave, I promise. Its just, I really like you. I have for a while. Just please Birdie, don't push me away."

At Gilbert's pleading tone Matilda felt her heart snap. She couldn't do this, she couldn't just tell him off and make him leave her, not when she felt the same. But her secret, her deception, her lies. He would end up hating her if he found out, forgetting her. Even if he had remembered Matthew that didn't mean anything. He hadn't mentioned her male alter ego in ages and she was sure he must have forgotten all about him. So why would she be any different if he found out that she was Matthew. She buried herself under the sheets further and remained quiet. She heard shuffling at the door before soft foot steps walked down the hall to the guestroom. More shuffling came from the other side of the wall that her room shared with the guest room. The footsteps returned and paused outside her room.

"Birdie I'm going to a hotel for tonight." A small pause. "You have my number if you want me to come back. I guess if you don't I can catch a flight back to West's some time tomorrow." Another pause. "I am sorry if I did anything to upset you Matilda. I didn't mean to ruin everything between us." The footsteps moved on and the front door opened and closed before Matilda let her sobs overflow and pour out. Why did it have to hurt so much?

Matilda eventually cried herself to sleep. She woke in the morning to a soft scratching at her bedroom door accompanied by the soft whine of 'hungry'. Grumbling, she sits up and heads for the door to her room and unlocks it. She gives a sigh at the small polar bear sitting outside.

"Alright alright. I'll get you something to eat." Going down the stairs and into the kitchen Matilda notices that Gilbert had left his gloves on the table. Setting down Kumajirou's food she made a mental note to mail them to him, remembering that they had some sentimental value to the Prussian.

Taking note that she was still dressed in her clothes from the day before, she wrinkles her nose and heads up to her room to gather her things for a shower. As Matilda's house was a bit older she did not have a master suite which meant there was one bathroom upstairs that was used by herself and any guests that stayed with her. When she had company over she would generally take her clothes with her into the bathroom to shower and change all in the one room, but when she was alone in the house, save Kumajirou, she would generally take the liberty of crossing the hall in a towel to let herself dry off more comfortably. As was the case today. Laying out her clothes for the day on her bed she made her way across the hall wrapped in a towel before closing the door to the bathroom behind her. She cranked on the water and set it to just the right temperature before stepping inside.

It was while she was showering that Gilbert came back. He had knocked sheepishly on the door and gotten no response. Checking the door he found it was unlocked and cautiously stepped inside. He had gotten to the hotel last night and realized he had left his gloves behind. Not wanting to be long without them he had told himself he would come back in the morning and ask for them. The plan was fine up until he received no answer at the door. Which is why he now found himself standing in the living room scratching his head in thought of where they might be. He also knew he should probably hurry as he heard the shower running upstairs and could figure out that Matilda was probably in there. He wanted to find his gloves before she finished so he could leave without encountering her. Thinking quickly he realized his gloves must be in the guest room and he quietly makes his way up the stairs and down the hall to the room he had been staying in up until last night. A quick search of the room left him still without his gloves and he heavily hangs his head before heading back out into the hall. Just as he is about to step out of the bedroom the shower is shut off. Cursing silently under his breath Gilbert picks up his pace and makes it out into the hall just as the bathroom door opens and... Gilbert locked eyes with the blonde man stepping from Matilda's shower.

He had the same wavy blonde hair cut to his shoulders and same violet glassy eyes as Matilda. But they were also the same as someone else's that he had seen decades ago. "Matthew?" For the first time Gilbert was able to make all the little comparisons he had always overlooked between Matilda and Matthew. As panic began to take hold in Matthew's eyes at Gilbert's continuing gaze, Gilbert was putting the pieces together.

"I I can explain. I I, just." Tears began to well in the violet orbs and it was enough to shock Gilbert out of his trance and realize that this must have been why Matilda pushed him away the night before.

"Birdie, calm down. Just," Gilbert took note that the other was still standing there in nothing but a damp towel. "I'm going to go downstairs. Uh, why don't you get dressed and then you can tell me what's going on. Ok?"

Matthew/Matilda nods and makes his way passed Gilbert into his bedroom before closing the door. Gilbert takes a deep breath before heading downstairs. Thinking about his reaction to learning something obviously so upsetting to the Canadian. He supposed that subconsciously he must have known from the moment he first met Matilda that she and Matthew were the same person. He had consciously at least acknowledged their similarities. Sitting down on the couch he pondered his reaction. Shouldn't he have been angry or disgusted. Matilda, or was it Matthew, had led him on. Making him think he was a girl. Hell now that he thought about it he had made the whole world think that he was a girl. Closing his eyes he had a sudden memory from centuries ago. He and Antonio were taking Francis out to drink after the signing of the treaty in which Francis had had to hand his colony over to England as reparations for the war. He was going on about how England had forced him to give up his little Matthieu, his little boy. Both Gilbert and Antonio had been a bit confused by their friend's reaction as they hadn't ever heard much about this colony. They shrugged it off as Francis being melodramatic. They knew he never really spent much time with any of his colonies, he would much rather wine and dine beautiful women then worry about raising little brats. Gilbert at the time had figured the kid was lucky to be with England now as this meant he would probably be cared for by someone that knew what they were doing with a kid. It was several years later that the trio was once again drinking, this time in celebration of having aided America in successfully rising up against England and gaining his independence. Gilbert had been wary of helping Francis in training America, but he figured if he did at least he could be sure the boy wouldn't get used by Francis for something rotten. He had known that one of the conditions that Francis had pushed for in the treaty was to have Canada given the choice of staying with England or going with America. Gilbert was curious to know how that had gone and was surprised to see Francis at the bar ahead of him already wallowing in misery. He was rambling about how he should have known and how Canada was such an adorable little thing. When asked he had explained how he had mistaken Canada for a boy and that England had figured it out and raised her properly. He had gone on to rant about how he wished his sweet little Canada had decided to come back with him and when it was pointed out that she would have gone with America Francis had scoffed and said the little brat wouldn't be on his own very long. In the end Gilbert had given his friend a long angry rant about how much of a bastard he was before leaving the bar.

Gilbert opened his eyes after thinking about that time. Francis had had it right. Canada was a boy and for some reason had let England and the rest of the world mistake him for a girl. Gilbert was dieing to know why. Usually nations wanted to be seen as strong, confident. Female nations, by nature, were not given equal treatment. Even in modern times female nations were treated as if they could not protect and defend themselves, most being looked after by male relatives and acquaintances. It was old fashioned but most of the nations were old and women's rights had only recently in their lives shifted to be more equal to men's. So why, if you were a man, live as a girl.

About that time Gilbert heard footsteps coming down the stairs and turned to see Matilda walk down and into the living room. She had a somber air about her as she sat heavily on the couch. It took everything Gilbert had in him to remember that this was a boy, not a girl, sitting across from him.

"I suppose you want an explanation."

"Yeah, an explanation would be nice. Why not start with telling me why you told me Matthew was dead and work your way out from there."

Matilda looked down at his lap, biting his lip nervously. "Because he was. I created Matthew so I could fight in wars. That was the only purpose he served in my life. With everything being so peaceful lately there was no need for him, so he was essentially dead."

"But you are Matthew!"

He shook his head, "No, I'm Matilda. I took that name when Arthur took me in and thought I was a girl. Papa had me in a really frilly outfit so I can't blame him for thinking such. But he was so nice to me because I was a girl. Papa was never there when I was Matthieu and Arthur was always so kind and just there for Matilda. I realized being a girl got me noticed, got me love and affection. I had a family as a girl. If I had remained Matthieu Arthur would have just left me on my own and ignored me, just like Papa did."

Gilbert was shocked. That was why, that was why he had hidden his gender and made everyone think he was a girl. Was Francis really such a bad father? "How did you hide it then? From America and England. Surely one of them would have found out eventually, you were living with them both for a while?"

"I was a girl and by the time Arthur took me in I was big enough to bath myself. Besides being on my own as much as I had been before I knew how to take care of myself. I was small not young."

The two stared at each other before Gilbert broke it with a sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

"Last night. Is the only reason you pushed me away and ran because you didn't want me to find out?"

"Yes." Matilda looks away and bites his lip. "I didn't want you to hate me for lying to you. I'm sure you must be pissed at me and more than likely disgusted with what I've kept from you."

"I don't hate you Birdie. Yeah its a shock but I don't mind that you hid something like this from. I do wish you had felt you could trust me with it though. And for the record, I don't plan on telling anyone."

Matilda was stunned. He didn't mind, he wasn't mad. He wouldn't tell. "Bu but why? I've lied to you. I've been lying to everyone. How can you just accept that?"

"Well, I guess its cause the whole reason you started lying was not really for a bad reason. Francis really didn't care about you and England did. I can see why you would think that had to do with one thinking you were a boy and the other thinking you were a girl, but honestly I think Francis would have treated you pretty much the same either way until you hit puberty and then he wouldn't have left you alone. As for England. I can't really say. As a boy you would have gotten treated differently but I know back in the day he made sure he spent time with all of his colonies. And he had a lot as I'm sure you remember. Being a girl you may have been cuddled more but I doubt things would have been too different. There was no way you would have known that at the time though"

Matilda was still worrying her lip as she looked up at Gilbert with tears him her eyes. "So you're really ok with this? With me living as a girl and not telling anyone."

"Ja, Birdie. I am."

At that moment Gilbert got up and moved to kneel in front of Matilda. placing his hand on his cheek he draws him to face him.

"And Birdie. I still like you, and I have for even longer than I realized."

"Gilbert..." The two draw closer and Gilbert presses his lips gently to Matilda's. The kiss is gentle but full of passion as the two let themselves be taken over by their shared feelings.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Aww, fluffy sugary tooth decaying sweetness. Isn't it just wonderful. This isn't over yet. I have one more chapter to post before this is done. I may have to up the rating for it though... Depending on how it goes when I'm writing it. So please review.