Might sound rushed and a bit out of control but I desperately wanted to post this chapter up tonight...

Claudia Gray owns Evernight, I own this fanfic

This wasn't the Lucas I loved; this was the Lucas who I wish I never had to know.

I didn't know what to do. Lucas stared at me expectantly, the body lying limp in his arms. I switched my gaze back up to Lucas. His face was smeared in blood along with his shirt. I saw his razor sharp fangs sticking out from his gums. I don't know why but this sight scared me.

"Bianca" he said softly, his eyes never leaving mine. I stumbled backward into the brick wall behind me. The smell of blood around us was so strong that it was making me dizzy. "Bianca" Lucas said again, louder and more confidently this time. He laid the body next to him and gently stood up from his crouch position. "I'm sorry"

I could help but laugh humorously "Why are you sorry?" I tried to keep my voice steady and be strong for his sake- for our sake, but I couldn't help it when the words quavered.

"For this" he looked down at the lifeless bodies next to the trash can "I'm sorry that you had to see me like and I-"

"Yeah, you better be sorry" Balthazar cut in "What the hell where you thinking?"

Lucas turned to him, his eyes held no sympathy but they held no anger either "I wasn't thinking"

"Well we can see that" Balthazar's voice was thick with sarcasm "You can't just go killing the first people you see, Lucas. That's rule number one, you got to learn to control the need to kill"

"Are you going to just stand here and give me a vampire 101?" Lucas raised an eyebrow.

"I would if we had the time but seeing that we don't –" Balthazar shrugged of his jacket "Here" he held out the jacket for Lucas "Go get cleaned up in the toilets inside, we can't keep you looking like that" Surprisingly, Lucas didn't argue and just took the Jacket from Balthazar's outstretched hand and muttered a thanks.

"What about the bodies?" I asked. Lucas and Balthazar both turned to me in surprise. Their expression was obvious that they'd forgotten that my presence was still present.

"We have to burn them" Balthazar said "We don't have the tools or time for a cremation"

I couldn't help but feel bad for the two people lying on the concrete, their bodies pale white and lifeless. They could've gone to college together, they could've had future together, and they may have grown up and gotten married and had a family. I felt a lump rise in my throat of the possibility that Lucas and I may never get to do that.

"Bianca?" Lucas's voice drew me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, I was thinking" I didn't dare look at him; I might just lose hope if I looked up at him right now.

"Bianca, I honestly don't see what there's so much think about" Lucas said, trying to lighten mood.

"There are a lot of things to think about. Things that don't matter… now" I said, trying to keep myself from crying.

"Bianca-" Lucas started but got cut out by Balthazar

"Okay enough chit chat people- wraith, vampire, whatever" Balthazar rubbed his hands together. "We have to get a move on. I'll bring the car over here and load the bodies into the boot while Lucas, you got with Bianca and try to look a bit more… presentable"

Lucas looked at me, his gaze unsteady "I don't that's a-"

"We don't have time, Lucas. Let's just go" I said. I hesitated slightly before stepping forward and taking his blood stained in mine. I tugged on his arm to go. We walked silently to the car, hands still entwined. I tried to ignore the overwhelming smell of rust and salt but it was so strong that I felt like throwing up right there. I couldn't believe that I once upon a time, I'd found the smell of blood appetizing.

Lucas fingers left mine to pull open the boot. He zipped open his duffle bag and pulled out a clean green and blue stripped shirt along with a bottle of mouthwash. I wondered where the hell had he'd managed to get his hands on a bottle of mouth wash. He slammed the boot door shut and without taking my hands in his, he started walking toward the café. I followed him, trying to keep up with his quick pace. When the sliding doors open, I was hit by a mix of smells. Chocolate, coffee and everything else nice and delicious that I will never ever get to eat again. The café was small and had a modern look through it. There was a large plasma TV on the far side of the room that was playing some foot ball game. The tables were round, small and black with matching chairs. It wasn't the most crowded place but it wasn't empty either. Some kids were playing the gaming machines by the window. Thankfully the windows were dark tinted so that it allowed no view of the outside world.

Lucas steered his way through the rows of table to a sign labelled 'lavatory'. He pulled open the door that opened into a black and white tilted, corridor. There were two signs pointing right and left. The men's was to the right and the woman's to the left.

Lucas and I looked at each other, debating our next move. I looked at him and rolled my eyes and pulled him into the men's toilets. I caught a look at myself in the mirror, I looked tired and pale. Paler than usual that is. My red hair hung around my face like a lion's mane.

I quickly ran my fingers threw it, doing my best to straighten it out.

"You still look beautiful no matter what" Lucas said as he placed his shirt and mouth wash on the counter.

"No" I disagreed and hopped onto the black marble counter next to the sink he was using "I look like some wild animal or some kind of hobo"

He chuckled slightly but said nothing. He unzipped Balthazar's jacket and held it out to me. I took it and placed it on my lap. He stripped of his shirt and dumped it on the other side of the sink. I couldn't help but admire his perfectly sculpted chest and contours of his biceps. I missed the feeling of the heat of his chest along my finger tips. I missed the feeling of the way he used to press me to a wall and kiss me like he's starved for me, the way people starve for food.

"I'm burning that shirt" he muttered as he turned on the cold water tap and splashed his face with the water. Red lines ran down his pale face and dripped of his chin into the sink, turning the water blood red. He shut the tap of after scrubbing his face free of blood. He reached over and grabbed a handful of tissues from the stand and ran it down his face, soaking up all the water. Just as he was going to open the bottle cap of his mouthwash, he turned to me and looked at me for a long second. "Why are we doing this, Bianca?" he asked

"Hmm?" I stopped swinging my legs and turned to face him.

"This" he raised both his eyes brows and looked at me then at the blood stained shirt lying on the counter. "What's the point?"

"The point of what?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Bianca" his voice was hard "Why are we even bothering going all the way to Evernight? Why are acting like everything's just plain normal?"

I looked at him for a long second before answering "We're not acting like everything's normal"

"Yes we are"

"Lucas, I don't want to talk about this right now" I hoped down from the counter and landed on the white floor tiles.

Lucas gabbed my wrist in his hand. His grip hurting a lot more than it should "We don't have to this, Bianca. We don't have to go all the way to Evernight. You can just drive a stake through me and there, problem solved"

"That is not a solution" my voice was quiet.

"It could be. I mean you don't have to, Balthzar could. I mean he looks wiling enough"

We stayed quiet. His hand was still wrapped tightly around my wrist, our eyes never breaking contact. "I couldn't let him do that" I said finally "I wouldn't let do it. I love you, Lucas. I always have and always will. I'm sure what's coming for us next but it's not going to be easy. It was never easy. We've lost so much already and I know that we don't have much left but as long as we have faith and love, then maybe that's all we're ever going to need"

"Bianca-"

I cut him off "What happened tonight, that is part of who you are now and I- I accept that" I said "Just like you accepted me for no matter who I was. Just like you loved me for no matter whom I was" I stopped for a brief second before continuing "Remember what I said to you that night? When we had a massive fight over me sending that email" I didn't want to bring that night back up but it was best way I could explain it to him. "I told you that, if the cause isn't love, then it isn't worth sacrifice and what we have is love, Lucas. And after everything been through, I still believe it's been worth it" I took in a deep breath "I'm not sure what the afterlife holds for us, now but I'm not losing hope because I know that you're worth it- we're worth it" every word I said, it was true. It was honest. It held hope.

Lucas eyes studied my face for a second before he spoke "I'm not worth it, Bianca"

And here we go again.

"Lucas, listen to me for once. You've always been the strong one in our relationship and I've leaned on you to keep me up every time, I've relied on you to give me strength but this time you need to lean on me. You need believe me" I said.

"I do believe you, Bianca" he squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again. "It's me that I don't believe"

"Well, I believe you and I love you and I'm going to be right here with you every step of the way because we're going to be taking the steps together"

"I love you" Lucas whispered. He pulled me close, letting go of my wrist at last, that was screaming silently in pain. "We're in this together, right?"

"We've always been in this together" I smiled and buried my head in his shoulder. "I love you too"

We stayed in quiet in each other embrace but the silence was short lived when Lucas spoke again "What happened tonight, I'm so sorry" Lucas said. "I didn't know what came over me, it was so strong and I-"

"Shhh" I whispered and traced his lips with my fingers like I used to do "it's okay,"

"But I could smell it, it was so strong and I felt so hungry, I don't understand it"

"It's going to be like that till you get used to it"

"I might never get used to it"

I hurt me to hear how little faith he had in himself "I believe in you, Lucas" I whispered and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close. When I pulled away, we stared solemnly at each other. Quietly I asked "Does it- Are you still hungry?"

"Being next you, it hurts" Lucas whispered. "It takes so much of me to control of myself with you being so close. I don't understand it, Bianca, do wraiths even have blood?"

I thought about his question and my mind flickered back to the time at Evernight, when Balthazar and I were pretending to be dating. He'd led me out into the edge forest and we sat down together. I remember resting my head against his shoulder and his arm coming around my waist. I asked him about the wraith that I'd seen the night before. He didn't seem surprised by my question one bit. I remember asking him the very question Lucas was asking me. Whether ghosts actually did have blood and I still remember Balthazar's exact answer.

"They do when they manifest in corporeal form, but mostly they exist as vapours, frost, cold spaces- an image or shadow, maybe, nothing more" I said "I'm in a corporeal form" I looked up at Lucas "That means that have blood running through my veins at this very second"

Lucas didn't look quite happy about my answer "So you mean that you actually have blood travelling through you right now?" his voice was barely a whisper.

"We can always test it" I said as I took his hand in mine "Drink from me, Lucas"

For a moment, I saw the hunger flash through his eyes but it was gone as soon as it had come "I can't" he said. There was a slight edge to his tone.

'Drink from me" I said again.

"I can't hurt you"

"I'm dead already, what've I got to lose?"

"But isn't that like physical contact, I mean mixing DNA, kind of"

"We won't know until we try" I bunched hair back into a pony tail and I found his eyes drift down from my face to my neck "I trust you, Lucas" I said.

He hesitated before stepping forward and tangling his fingers through my hair. He started bringing his face forward but stopped abruptly. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea" he said, his breath was warm against my face and still was tainted by the smell of blood.

"I want you to" I looped my fingers into his front belt loops and dragged him closer.

He leaned down and our noses brushed against each others. I felt the tip of his nose draw a line down my cheek and to my neck.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his mouth only inches from neck.

"Yes" I couldn't help the vibrato in my answer. He brought his lips closer and the suddenly, I felt his fangs press their way through my skin. I screamed in pain and clutched a tuft of his hair in my hand. But the pain slowly started to fade and turn into pleasure.

I felt myself get dizzy from the amount of blood getting drained out of my system but I didn't want him to stop. It felt so nice. I loosened my clutch on his hair and leaned my head further back. All of a sudden it stopped, the whole world seemed like it'd stopped on axis. I felt my hands go slack and fall down to Lucas's shoulder.

I started at him for a long second. His mouth was covered in blood. My blood.

"Bianca?'" he placed his hands on my shoulders and shook me gently. "Bianca, are you okay"

I didn't think. I stepped closer and twined me fingers through his hair and pulled face down to mine and kissed him fiercely. All most violently. Only this time we didn't get hit by the electric current like before. I kissed him harder as I felt his tongue brush over mine. He tasted like salt and rust but I didn't give a damn. This was my Lucas. My Lucas that I was kissing for the first he'd died- we'd died. Suddenly he pulled away and looked straight into my eyes.

"What the hell?" was all he said.

I let my hand drop his hair and lace their way through his fingers "I missed that" I whispered.

"How?" he ignored me and ran his fingers threw his blond hair and brought his eyebrows together so that a small crease formed in the middle of his forehead.

I didn't understand either… unless; there was some kind of connection between us now. After Lucas had drunk blood.

"You drank my blood" I said. "You have my blood travelling through you now. Could that mean…" I let my sentence trail.

"I have a part of you inside me now. I have your blood travelling in my veins?"

"Just like I had your blood travelling through mine before, I died"

We both looked up at each other at the same time. The moment our eyes met, Lucas gently pushed against the back wall and tangled his fingers threw my hair. His right hand rested on my waist and he leaned in and kissed me desperately. My lips were probably going to be covered in bruises after this.

"God , I missed this" Lucas said as he caught my lips between his.

"Can we not bring him into this right now?" I said and Lucas lips curved into a smile under mine.

He kissed me on my lips passionately again, his hand travelled further up my waist. Mine. Lucas was mine.

"Maybe we shouldn't push it" he said.

"Maybe we should" I kissed his neck, then the edge of his jaw before brushing my lips over his ever so lightly.

"I can't lose control"

"You won't lose control" I had full trust in him.

He brought his lips back over mine and kissed me again. This time it wasn't like our kisses a few seconds before. This one was pure love and trust. "We need to stop" he said

"I don't want to stop" I whined like a little kid.

"Your neck, it's still…" His voice trailed.

"Damn" I sighed and pulled away from him.

"Here" he walked to the sink counter and passed me Balthazar's jacket. "It'll cover the bite"

I took the jacket from him and pulled it over my shoulder. It smelled so much like Balthazar's rich forest smell.

I watched Lucas as he rinsed his mouth out with mouth wash. He kissed me ever so slightly before we walked out of the café, hand in hand.

"Bianca?" he said as we walked into the parking lot.

"Yeah?"

"I love you"

I stopped walking and turned to him "I love you too, Lucas Ross" He leaned down and kissed me before we continued to make our way to the side of the café where Balthazar had moved car to.

"Okay the bodies are in the boot, we'll have to dump them and burn them somewhere along the way" Balthazar said as he shut the boot and walked around to the driver's seat.

Lucas's hand left mine as he walked to side of the car and opened the door and sat in. I was about to follow Lucas when I turned my head and noticed a familiar silhouette by the gas pumps. Her hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail and she a phone pressed against her ear while filling her black truck up with fuel. I squinted trying to decipher who she was. Realisation hit me like a bucket of ice cold water. It was Dana.

Man, I really wish I had an advanced readers copy of Afterlife...

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