I Want To Help, Chapter 2
A/N #1 – I don't own the characters...either Bellisario or Universal does. But since they won't play with these characters anymore, I do every now and then.
A/N #2 – This is another idea from Starclipper01, with a little refining from Sirius7.
Summary – What effects have the events of Chapter 1 had on Hawke's friendship with Dom?
The next morning, Dominic was worried sick when he arrived at Santini Air and took a helicopter up to the cabin. I haven't heard from String...or Caitlin, for that matter, since Friday, Dominic said to himself, and I'm worried. Hell...forget worried. I'm scared to death. I think I'm in serious trouble, he added to himself as he took one of the helicopters up to Hawke's cabin to pick him up.
By the time he landed the helicopter on the dock of Hawke's cabin, Dom felt his anxiety increase a thousand fold. What sort of frame of mind is he in? How angry is he? Dom couldn't even bring himself to get out of the helicopter and meet Hawke at the door like he usually did, instead deciding to wait in the chopper. When he saw Hawke coming out of the cabin, Dom did a double-take. Is it my imagination...or is he smiling? As Hawke got closer and got into the helicopter, he slapped Dom on the shoulder and said, "Mornin', Dom!"
"Mornin', String!" Dom responded with a smile as Hawke strapped himself into the co-pilot's seat of the helicopter. "What's got you in such a good mood this morning?" Dom asked, even though he had a suspicion he knew the answer. Please, tell me it worked, Dom said to himself as he throttled the helicopter up and lifted off, aiming back toward Van Nuys. I'd hate to think String hates Caitlin now...as much as he probably hates me.
"Dom...I want to thank you for what you did," Hawke said sincerely. "I...I really appreciated having Caitlin come up to the cabin. And Dom...I don't hate you...or Cait," Hawke smiled at his friend and surrogate father, and Dominic's expression seemed to be one of shock.
"Wait a second...who the hell are you, and where the hell is String?" Dom demanded. He had been expecting String to either scream at him the entire trip back, completely ignore him, or drag him out of the helicopter and knock him senseless. I can't believe this, Dom said to himself, he actually seems happy. At least, happier than I've seen him since...since I can't-remember-when. What went on up here yesterday?
"Dom," String replied, still smiling, "A lot happened yesterday when Caitlin came...and I promise, we'll tell you all about it, once we're all together. Okay?" Hawke glanced over at his friend and mentor, and grinned again, even wider than before.
I'm dreaming. That's the only thing that makes any sense here. I've gotta be dreaming, Dom said to himself. I'm gonna wake up...and when I really get to the cabin, the real String's gonna come out, drag me out of this helicopter, and knock my lights out. But the rest of the flight passed in silence, which actually felt more right to Dominic than Hawke's reaction when he first boarded the chopper. Well now, this is more like it, Dom said to himself. He had to admit, the silence felt more natural than Hawke's smiling and friendly attitude when he came out of the cabin. When they arrived at Santini Air, Dom realized that he hadn't been dreaming when String boarded his chopper. Caitlin was already there, which didn't surprise either man. What did surprise Dominic was Caitlin's expression as she came out of the hangar. Okay, now I know I'm dreaming, Dom said to himself. Caitlin's grinning just like String. Something's going on here...and I think I like it...if it's what I think...wait...what I hope, and pray, it is.
"Mornin', Dom! Hi, String!" Caitlin called out as she jogged out to meet them, and Dom immediately noticed the smile she wore, which looked very similar to the one he'd found String wearing when they met at the cabin.
'String'? Since when does Cait call him 'String?' She's called him Hawke ever since I can remember, Dom said to himself, confused. His confusion only seemed to multiply when he watched String and Caitlin exchange a loving embrace, and walk back to the hangar arm-in-arm, hers around his waist, and his around her shoulders. I don't get this at all, Dom said to himself, more confused than ever; and I know I thought this before, but I think I like it!
Finally, after everyone had a cup of coffee and was sitting around the office, Dom asked, "Okay, you two...will one of you please tell me what's going on?" He couldn't help but notice that Hawke and Caitlin sat closer to each other than he'd ever seen before, and Dom also noticed they were holding hands. "Is there...something you want to tell me?" He thought he knew what was going on, but didn't want to assume anything, especially where String was concerned...but things were starting to add up in Dom's mind, and he had to admit—he liked what they were adding up to. String's expression when he came out...Cait's expression when we got here...if I didn't know better, I'd swear those two were in love...in love with each other, I mean. Man, I hope I'm not crazy!
"Well, Dom...when Cait came up to the cabin yesterday, as I'm sure you've probably guessed, I was...upset," String said, and Dom's expression quickly turned from happiness to concern. Hawke continued, "I was upset because I had a hunch that you told Caitlin about why I'd been so moody and depressed lately...and she confirmed it. She explained to me that you'd told her about Saint John's birthday, and that was the reason why I had been so depressed the past couple of days." By this time, Dominic looked thoroughly confused.
Come on, String! Dom was growing impatient with his younger surrogate son. Tell me what the heck has you grinning like the cat that ate the canary, already! Good grief...those grins look like they both need to be surgically removed.
"Okay, String...I admit that I told her about Saint John's birthday," Dom interrupted, "and I apologize for doing that. I know I gave you my word I wouldn't tell anybody...but when Cait asked why you'd been so upset...I felt like she had the right to know," Dom still expected Hawke to become angry at some point.
"Dom, it's okay," String replied, still smiling. "Caitlin explained everything, and I understood why you did it. I was upset when I first saw her...but Caitlin got me calmed down and we had a nice talk about Saint John. And...we talked about a few other things, too," Hawke admitted, noticing Dom hadn't taken his eyes off their joined hands.
"So? Is this what I think...check that...what I hope it is?" Dominic asked hopefully, pointing at their hands, but finally sick of waiting for an explanation.
Caitlin and Hawke looked at each other, smiled even wider, and Caitlin responded, "Yeah, Dom...it is. String told me he loved me yesterday...and what else could I do but tell him I felt the same way about him." Hawke and Cait stood up in unison, as Dom sprang out of his chair and engulfed his two young friends in a warm, friendly embrace, even as he raised his eyes to the heavens and said a silent prayer. Thank God, Dom said to himself. Not only is String not mad at me, but he and Cait have finally found each other. It's a miracle!
"Well, String...I've gotta say, you've made an old man very happy today," Dominic admitted after the three of them released each other. "You don't know how long I've been hoping you'd come to your senses about Cait, old buddy!" Dom laughed as he thought back over the past year and a half since Caitlin had arrived from Pope County, Texas. I mean, String even trusted Cait about Airwolf, Dom said to himself, still grinning, and I know how hard that was for him. And I was getting so frustrated with String for not seeing what was right in front of him...but I guess he sees it now.
"Actually, Dom, I think I do know how long you've been hoping I'd get my head on straight about Caitlin's feelings," Hawke replied, as he recalled how Dom had said, 'she was...kinda cute, huh, String?' after they left Pope County after rescuing Caitlin from the sheriff a year and a half ago, "and you were right. I've got a lot of making up to do, I know, but..."
"String," Caitlin interrupted him, smiling, "I told you yesterday that I understood why you acted like you did...and I forgive you." But whatever he might decide to do to make up, I certainly won't stop him, Caitlin said to herself happily.
"Thanks, Cait," Hawke answered with a smile of his own. "That means a lot. And, Dom...I forgive you for telling Caitlin about Saint John...I think you were right all along – I did need to share yesterday with someone...and you've been telling me that for years. And since you couldn't be there yesterday, Dom...I couldn't think of a better person to share it with than Caitlin," Hawke admitted, and Dominic recognized what it took for Hawke to make that admission.
"Stringfellow Hawke, admitting he might be wrong about something?" Dom asked with a smile. "Now, I know I'm dreaming!" The trio laughed at Dom's insinuation, but Hawke had to admit to himself that there was more than a grain of truth in Dom's statement. I don't admit I'm wrong very often, Hawke said to himself, so I can understand why Dom said that.
Later, Hawke and Caitlin took a break from the hangar and took a short walk. Hawke had some other things he wanted to talk to Caitlin about, and he didn't want to let them go for too long.
"Cait...about what I said a little while ago...I didn't just mean I had to make up for what happened yesterday," Hawke said quietly. "I figure I've got...about a year and a half worth of making up to do, for the way I treated you...and the way I ignored your feelings." Hawke knew that he'd been terribly insensitive, even though he hadn't really understood exactly how Caitlin felt about him until yesterday afternoon.
"It doesn't matter, String," Caitlin said as they stopped walking so she could look into his eyes. "What happened before doesn't matter now...and, I said yesterday that I forgive you for everything...and I meant everything," she said honestly. She knew, of course, what Hawke was referring to – not only the fact that he had been ignoring her feelings for so long, even though she had made numerous attempts, up until the previous afternoon at the cabin, to show him how she felt about him, but other things Hawke had done, and not done, over that period of time. Not only that, she mused to herself, but then Hawke dated other women...like Rosalind, and I had to deal with seeing him with other women. But none of that matters anymore. Now we're together...and we can start thinking about maybe building a life with each other. Oh, he's not ready for that...yet, Caitlin said to herself; but someday...I want to be his wife. More than I've wanted anything for a long, long time.
"String? Did I tell you I talked to Mom after I went home last night?" Caitlin asked him.
Uh-oh. Hawke suddenly felt uneasy. "No, Cait. I don't recall you mentioning that." What he did recall, however, were the many letters she read to himself and Dominic from her mother, most of which were basically trying to tell Caitlin to "forget that danged fool Hawke" and come back home to Texas. And I'm surprised she didn't go home, Hawke had to admit to himself.
"So...what did your mom have to say?" Hawke asked. "I suppose you told her..."
"About us? Of course I told her, you lunkhead! Well, after she stopped screaming and jumping for joy, she told me she was happy that you finally saw sense," Caitlin replied with a smile. "You know she was threatening to come out here and find you herself, and try to get you to understand how I felt about you."
"I seem to recall hearing something about that, yeah," Hawke replied. "So, she's happy that we're together?"
"'Happy' doesn't begin to describe it, Hawke," Caitlin answered him. "'Ecstatic' is more like it. You don't know how upset she really got, thinking that you'd never see sense about me. And Erin...well, you remember how I told you that she was writing me and threatening to come out here and beat some sense into you!"
"I think I have a pretty good idea how your mom felt," Hawke answered, remembering some of the last few letters Caitlin had read from her mother. "And I do remember what your sister wrote about...and I don't blame her," Hawke said. If I had a daughter, and some guy was treating her the way I've been treating Cait, nobody could have stopped me from finding the guy and trying to straighten him out. Heck...if Saint John did the same thing to some girlfriend of his, I'd probably beat the crap outta him...just like Erin threatened to do to me.Some of what Caitlin had read was not exactly fit for public consumption, and had even caused Dominic to shudder a time or two. Hawke felt an enormous sense of relief that Caitlin's mom and older sister seemed to have happily accepted the news of their new relationship.
"Mom said to tell you that she thinks you're good for me, Hawke...and, I have to agree with her," Caitlin said, gazing into Hawke's eyes again. "I think you're going to be very good for me."
"Well, Caitlin...all I can say is, I think you're going to be very good for me, too," Hawke replied as he embraced her again. "And, one other thing, Cait...thank you," Hawke said to her as they started back towards the hangar.
"For what, String?"
"For being so patient with me...about everything. Most women wouldn't have, you know," Hawke admitted.
"Well, Hawke...it's lucky for you that I'm not most women," Caitlin replied, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
"Very lucky," Hawke agreed as they stopped walking again, and moved into each other's arms.
By the time they got back to the hangar, Dom had decided to close up early, as business was still down, and they really didn't have much going on. Before he left, Dom had to exchange another friendly embrace with both Hawke and Caitlin, telling them how happy he was that they were finally together. Hawke didn't have much to say, other than to tell Dom, "Don't jump to any conclusions, Dom."
"Who? Me?" Dom was indignant, but the smile on his face betrayed his true emotions. "I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, String...you know that. I'm just happy you two are finally together...that's all," he said with a smile.
"You're not the only one, Dom," Caitlin told him with a smile, one that she noticed Hawke shared. "I'm happy...and relieved, that we're finally together, too. And, I don't plan on letting this guy go for a long time!" The expression on her face spoke volumes to both Dominic and String, and Hawke could only smile again.
Later, Hawke took Caitlin with him to the cabin for dinner, and so they could have some time alone together. As they ate, Hawke recognized that his life would never be the same, especially now that Caitlin was in it. He felt Caitlin had filled a large gap in his life, and he knew he would never be able to repay her for everything she had done for him. But, I'm going to have a lot of fun trying, Hawke said to himself.
Caitlin could hardly believe it when Hawke asked her to dance after dinner, but the sincerity in his eyes was all the confirmation she needed. As she slid into his arms in the middle of the living room floor, she felt herself awash in the feelings she had for Hawke. I still can't believe it, she said to herself as she moved with Hawke to the romantic music, marveling at how comfortably her body fit against his. He finally admitted it...he loves me. I have wanted to feel Hawke's arms around me this way for so long...and now that it's happened, I still can't believe it. Now I know how Dom felt this morning...I swear, I've gotta be dreaming.
Almost as if he were reading her thoughts, Hawke said, "Believe it, Cait. I love you...so very much. And," Hawke smiled as they moved together, "You're not dreaming." Hawke gently pinched her arm to prove to her that she was really there, wrapped in Hawke's arms, and everything that was happening was real. Finally, Hawke noticed tears in her eyes and said, concerned, "Cait? You okay?"
Smiling through her tears, Caitlin moved closer to Hawke and said, "Yeah, Hawke...I'm okay. And...I love you, too, Stringfellow Hawke. Very much. Never forget that, Hawke. Promise me you'll never forget that."
"I won't, Cait," Hawke promised her, and sealed it with a deep and loving kiss. "I promise you, I won't. And, you remember yesterday when you said you wanted to help me?"
"Yes, Hawke?" Caitlin responded, her eyes shining.
"You have helped me, so much," Hawke answered honestly, pulling her close to his body. "And I think it's only going to get better," he finished.
"I sure hope so, Hawke," Caitlin answered him, her head resting on his shoulder contentedly as she snuggled into him. "I sure hope so. I was so worried...wait. I wasn't just worried...I was scared...scared to death that you'd never let me in...never let me show you how much you mean to me...and how much I love you," she admitted.
"Caitlin, that's something I'll regret for the rest of my life. If I could go back and change anything, I'd have made sure I recognized my feelings for you a lot sooner. And, I promise you this once again – I will always love you, Caitlin," Hawke replied before he kissed her again.
By the time he took Caitlin home, and returned to the cabin alone, Hawke was already missing her. But, I'll see her in the morning, Hawke said to himself as he went to sleep that night. And, maybe someday soon...we'll be spending our nights together here, too. But he knew that was a ways off yet, and he wasn't going to risk messing up what they were beginning by pushing for something like that before he thought both of them were ready. Soon, Hawke said to himself. It'll happen, eventually. He smiled broadly as he dropped off to sleep.