Hi guys! So this was probably the longest period between updates for me, I'm so sorry I'm going so slower! School has been crazy, and I just recently scratched about 10,000 words worth of material in the fic because it just didn't seem right. So now I'm mostly trying to play catchup. It doesn't help that every time I want to update is down or has some error :(

So most of you can guess that the last chapter was leading up to some angst. I can say that after this chapter there will be a period where I'm going to play around a little bit with the format of the fic. One of the characters will be getting more attention because they really have a journey to go through. But you'll find out about that in later chapters.

Enjoy! :D

Edward

"You're rushing to conclusions, just like always." Alice shot at me.

"This isn't your decision to make Alice."

"It affects all of us. You apparently aren't considering what you're going to put him through. He isn't going to forget you."

Jasper rubbed Alice's shoulders gently from behind her. She crossed her arms and looked at me all vexed, her thoughts had taken a turn closer to Rose's once she realized my decision.

Alice tensed up as a vision flew passed her memory…

"Nate is going to call me in 47 seconds."

"You can't pick up…" I sighed.

"What if he's in trouble?"

"You would have seen that, not the phone call."

"So you're willing to crush his heart because you don't want to put him in danger, but you think its okay to risk not picking up a phone call?" Alice reasoned even though she believed my logic.

"Fine." I growled.

Carlisle sighed "Are you sure this is the right decision Edward? I'm sure that we can find a way that is less…abrasive… for both parties."

"It's the only option."

Alice picked up the phone before it rang and glared at me as she spoke "Nate, what's up?" she asked casually.

…Please come over Nathan begged in a scratchy voice.

"Sorry Nate I can't." She sighed.

Do I really mean nothing to you too? Was all of this a lie? Nathan asked her in a very unsteady voice.

I growled. He knew. How much did he know? If he knew I was just leaving to protect him he would never allow it…but his implication seems to imply that he doesn't mean anything to me. Hearing that hurt more than I could ever have imagined. The temptation to grab the phone tell him how wrong he was overpowered my every thought. He had no idea…but it would be easier this way.

Alice's mouth turned into a rigid line at Nathan's tone.

"What are you talking about Nate? Did you have a vision? It was probably just a dream…go back to bed we can talk about it tomorrow?"

Stop lying! I saw it all. When is it going to happen Alice?

She handed the phone to me with a murderous glare in her eyes. Both Esme and Alice exchanged a glance…

"Nathan, what's wrong?" I asked sounding concerned.

"I need answers…" He whispered into the receiver.

"Just relax…I'm on my way right now."

"I love you." He sniffed.

"I know." And hung up.

"I'm going to settle things with Nathan…we need to be gone by morning…He's going to come over here eventually. I have no idea how long its going to take, he's quite stubborn."

"He wont forgive you for this Edward." Alice said matter of factly.

"That's what I'm hoping for."

Before I left Esme and Carlisle were making all of the necessary arrangements to leave Forks. It wouldn't take much time, we always had things prepared just in case something would happen that would force us to exile ourselves from human society. A couple of favors needed to be utilized, but there would be a truck to pack all of our belongings and take it to Denali within the hour.

We didn't have many options for our newest destination, the one place where we were always welcome was the only other coven, to our knowledge, that functioned similarly to ours. This wasn't the first time that we had to escape so suddenly…last time had been my fault too. But my family had forgiven me, and hopefully they would again.

The drive was a short one.

I pulled up his drive and saw him standing on the porch waiting for me. He wore a navy hoodie and a pair of grey jeans. He seemed completely unaffected by the chilling temperature. Nathan made no attempt to hide his Sidhe features from the public – because of this I could see his vibrant eyes standing out against the dreary background of Forks. His heart rate was thrumming so fast…he was also hiding his thoughts from me. He knew exactly what was coming, I should have been thankful that I didn't have to break it to him…but for some reason it made it unlimitedly worse. Was I supposed to shatter his already broken heart?

I got out of my car and moved at a human's speed toward him. Nathan remained silent – eyeing me with an expression that hid everything. Only his eyes sighed with the dark knowledge of the pain that I was about to inflict… I stayed a safe distance from him and forced myself to look into his eyes. He said nothing.

"Lets walk." I suggested and held my hand out to him. Very hesitantly, he took my hand and we began to walk down a trail about twenty feet from his house. It was past twilight and the sun had gone in. We walked through the brush without saying a word – the only thing that occupied the silence was Nathan's beating heart.

I couldn't smell any excess moisture in the air – we'd have at least several hours before there was rain. If everything went to plan…it would take much less time than that. And then I would never feel the touch of his skin again. Never hear him say my name. Never see those unnatural eyes that melted me to my core every time I saw them…So many things, never again. This may be my last time, but Nathan would have many more people after me. Over time he would forget about me – I'm sure of it.

After far too long, Nathan let go of my hand and turned to face me, his icy demeanor melted away when he confronted me.

"Why?" he asked with such angst carried in his tone my thoughts strayed…

Part of me – the weak and selfish part of me that I let dominate me over the past months – reminded me that it wasn't too late. We could still go back to how it was. And then I remembered the discussion with Carlisle…

His face…

I watched while his composure began to slowly crumble – the neutrality he was putting up was fading; quickly. Nathan must have still been in some level of control because his eyes were the pale green that he wore to school. He was strong, he would be able to move past this. I on the other hand…wasn't nearly as capable.

"Things have grown too complicated." I sighed and refined my features so I would remain cold and expressionless. I had to do this. I couldn't allow Nathan to think for even a moment that I loved him. I would have to pretend that I had forgotten everything, given up every promise, because of my own selfish desires. It was these selfish desires that endangered Nathan for so long…exactly what I was going to spare him.

"Complicated?" He hissed "What does that mean?"

My insides – my heart – was on fire. Every inch of me was consumed in grief that began to translate into a physical pain. I wanted…

What I wanted didn't matter anymore. Because I wanted Nathan he'd nearly died not once, not twice, but three times. Each time was closer than the next. Nathan's luck would run out eventually and he would die.

Alice had seen Nathan as one of us.

Until then, I'd thought it was impossible. His mixed blood just didn't seem likely to hold onto the virus. I demanded she keep the fact from Nathan which was something she did at great difficulty. I would spare him that fate; I could not take this boy's soul from him. It was because I loved him that I couldn't. Of course I wanted to. But this was not about my wants and needs – this is the best for Nathan…Yes…

"There have been hundreds of signs but I foolishly ignored them. I held onto this idea of you and I as if it was a possibility…But I realized with the wolves, you will always be in danger around me. All this time I thought I was afraid for your safety, but that wasn't the case."

Nathan faltered for a moment, thrown off by my false admission. I heard murmurs of his thoughts as his focus was faltered.

"What was the case?" He whispered…but didn't really want to know.

"You're too human for me." I said in disparaging…I would have to hurt him, knowing his insecurities… this was the most efficient way to do it.

Nathan's Jaw dropped and the shield for his thoughts was gone only seconds later. His knees buckled from the sheer force of my words.

No. How can this be? I'm changing…changing. No…

His thoughts trailed off into nothing understandable but a dazzling array of images and misery that mirrored my own.

"You're lying." He choked. The first of his tears began to freely flow while he looked into my cold eyes. He was wishing to see any amount of emotion from my face which was only a reminder to keep the stagnant façade…

This was for him. I constantly reminded myself.

"It is the truth. I shouldn't have made so many promises…It wasn't expected that my love would fade."

Nathan grabbed his chest fiercly and gasped. "No…It cant be…" The tears began to flow freely from his eyes as he fought to swallow a sob that carried in his throat. It was as if the forest mimicked his every action, which each breath there was a small breeze…and when the tears began to flow I could feel little crystals dance across my skin. In truth...and I knew that deep inside I was more human that he would ever be…but he was mortal. And that's what mattered.

Maybe I can reason with Alice…someone? I can't lose them too..

"We're leaving Forks, and never coming back. It was unanimous – we all have given up on this impossible fantasy. The rest of them have already left…I waited so I could tell you in person…I suppose I owe you that much."

My words made me nearly cringe in disgust, but nothing got passed the shield that helped me keep my true emotions in check.

"I don't believe you." He demanded vehemently.

"Look into my eyes…" I whispered

I had to think of something else, when he was confronted with the wolves. The danger that he was in…when they had threatened him like that…the same murderous impulses drove through me and now I didn't have to mask my emotions because the frenzy was clear in my eyes. Nathan looked defeated at the fury in my eyes.

"Can you at least do me a favor…before you leave?" He asked so weakly that I knew if he asked me to stay…I would have no choice. Please don't ask me that Nathan. Please. All of this anguish can't be for naught…he has a life ahead of him.

"What is it?"

"I want to see you before I die."

Fool. All of this was so he could live, how could he possibly even consider dying at a time like this?

"I'll make you one promise…" I began, and his eyes lit up in hope. "You will never see me again.

I scanned his neck and the necklace I'd given him wasn't there. He must have seen this coming…It didn't matter, it would be hidden somewhere in his room…I would find it.

"Goodbye, Nathan."

I didn't give him a second chance, but ran as fast as I could into his room while he stood there motionless. I was paralyzed the second I entered his room, its was so quintessentially Nathan that it was nearly as painful as leaving him just now….The only difference was that I wasn't hiding anymore. The agony that clung to my being would have been easily read on my face.

Every part of me felt as if it was being seared in the hottest fire – a sensation worse than the transformation a hundred fold. I wouldn't have been able to move it if hadn't been for the knowledge that Nathan would eventually come back…and I would need to be gone. Everything would be set up – I had faith in my family. Even if they didn't understand the importance of my decision they would listen to me.

I avoided Nathan's thoughts even though they were practically screaming at me. There were no words, it was like a malignant black-hole that was quickly destroying him. I took everything I could imagine that would be a reminder, photos, clothes, everything…except for the necklace. I couldn't smell it anywhere. It didn't matter…I couldn't stay here any longer, with every passing second the temptation to take back my decision grew more appealing. I placed the miscellaneous objects behind a loose board in his closet and prepared to leave…before Nathan's sobs began.

There was no time for the necklace, the second the salty aroma of his tears hit me I ran as fast as I could, I needed to disappear. I needed to be as far as possible so I couldn't break my promise to him. Nathan wouldn't have the chance to remember me…he would forget. I would turn into nothing but a fantasy.