A/N: This is not just a regular chapter - it doesn't take place at the Hudmel home, and there's no warm milk involved. Hopefully that's not too much of a turn-off. In the next chapter, they will be in Finn's room again, though. This takes place after 2x15 (and so will the next chapter, most likely, as that should be sort of a follow up for this one), and I'm sorry for all the dense Warblers ;) Hopefully you'll enjoy the chapter!

Less than a week before Regionals, the Warblers were practising harder than ever to get their performance down. Tensions were rising as the council members kept on disagreeing about pretty much everything, including the recent revelation that apparently, they would have to be sexy in order to win the competition.

Suddenly, in the middle of singing one of the songs, the doors burst open and what looked (to most Warblers) like a giant rushed in.

"Kurt! You have to help me!"

Slightly annoyed, Kurt looked up to see his stepbrother standing there, looking all kinds of panicked. "Couldn't that wait until I get home, Finn?" he asked as the other Warblers stared at him in confusion. "Which is tonight, if I need to remind you. And you can't just interrupt our practice like that."

Only then, Finn seemed to realise all that. "Uh – maybe," he replied, looking around the room. "I didn't think of that."

"How did you even know where Kurt was?" Blaine asked from his position at the front of the group.

"This was the first room that had music coming from it," Finn responded, shrugging as if it was no big deal to just interrupt the competition, a couple of days before Regionals. "Anyway, Kurt, you have to help. Everyone's gone nuts – they've all joined the celibacy club and – "

"Celibacy club?" Blaine interrupted him, seeming confused. "We heard that you were going to 'sexify your performance'."

"Who told you that?" If possible, Finn sounded more confused than Blaine.

"Coach Sylvester," Kurt informed him, rolling his eyes. "We should've known something was up there. So that means that we don't have to do that either." He let out a breath of relief, while Blaine, and various other Warblers, actually looked a little disappointed.

"Coach Sylvester talked to you?" Finn asked. "That can't be good…"

"I'm quite sure she doesn't like me that much anymore," Kurt said. "Now, what were you saying about the celibacy club?"

"Everyone's joined," Finn told him. "First, it was just Rachel and Quinn with Miss Pillsbury, and then Puck joined – "

"Puck joined?" Kurt choked out. He wanted to say more, but realised that he couldn't.

"Yeah, something about a sex tape and – but that's not the point here! Then, Lauren joined too, and Sam and Santana and Brittany and Artie…"

"That's not everyone," Kurt told him. "What's your point?" By now, he'd given up on the thought that maybe, Warbler practice could continue.

"I'm getting mixed signals here!" Finn exclaimed. "Quinn is just – she seems really into me when we make out, and she basically told me she wants to have sex with me, but she's still a member of the celibacy club."

"Do we really have to talk about this?" Kurt asked, exasperated. Why did everyone suddenly want to talk to him about sex? Why him?

"Yes!"

"Now?"

"Yes!"

"Here?"

"Yes!"

Kurt groaned – Finn hadn't been the only one to answer that final question; a few Warblers seemed to like watching him squirm as well.

"Okay, first of all? Finn, why on earth are you messing around with Quinn?" If only he could outwit Finn – he normally had no problem doing that, but this was another subject altogether.

"Why not, exactly?" Finn demanded, sounding a little peeved now. "I mean, I'm no longer dating Rachel, and Quinn and Sam broke up as well. Sam's dating Santana now, so he moved on – even though I think Santana would rather be with Brittany, but Brittany doesn't want to break up with Artie… which makes sense, since he already got dumped awfully by Tina when she started dating Mike. And Rachel moved on as well." Here, his eyes briefly drifted towards Blaine, who seemed to have taken new interest in the floor. The other Warblers just stared at Finn with their mouths half open, trying to process all this information. "Anyway, they obviously moved on, so why can't Quinn and I do the same?"

"Wait, so Santana told Brittany she wants to be with her?" Kurt asked, very interested in hearing more about that particular part of the monologue.

Finn groaned. "That's all you heard out of that? I don't know what she told her, but they sang some song with Miss Holiday – yeah, she's back for sex ed classes. Oh – did you know Brittany thought she was pregnant a few days ago, because a stork was building a nest next to her house?"

"I hadn't heard about that yet," Kurt replied with a small smile. "But that sounds like Brittany…"

"So… Quinn?" Finn was becoming slightly impatient, that much was clear. The Warblers were still looking on with great interest, even though most of them probably had no idea whom they were talking about.

"Quinn… cheated on you. She slept with your best friend, got pregnant, and lied to you about it." The Quinn-Finn history in a nutshell. "Quinn's lovely, Finn – well, she can be, at least – but… is this really a good idea?" Before, he would have told Finn off for forgiving Quinn for cheating on him, but not Rachel – but not now. Rachel might think everything was alright between the two of them, but as far as Kurt was concerned, that wasn't the case.

"It was a mistake, she was drunk. It isn't going to happen again."

"When she cheated on Sam, she wasn't drunk. Was she?"

"I'm not Sam, and he's – "

"Are we ever going to continue practising, or what?" Jeff interrupted their debate loudly. This effectively shut Finn up, and Kurt glanced towards the council.

"Finn, just leave. We'll talk about this later."

"He can stay, if he wants to," David suggested. "It's not big deal, right?"

Finn, apparently thinking uncharacteristically quickly that day, replied, "No, not at all."

As he walked towards one of the couches, Blaine threw Kurt a questioning look, and Kurt wondered whether the Warblers really never spied on their competition in any way, or if they were just didn't think they'd come barging in in the middle of practice, demanding their stepbrother's undivided attention. And hadn't Blaine commented on the plans they thought New Directions had just a few minutes ago?

"Uh, yes, it is," he spoke up, glancing sternly at Finn. "Just wait outside, Finn, or go home. I'll see you later."

"It's really no problem," David insisted, and Finn grinned.

"See, Kurt? It's fine. You should really be nicer, like these guys."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "They're only nice because they don't know you're in New Directions."

Finn gasped, though Kurt wasn't sure if it was faked or not. "How can you betray me like that, Kurt? We're brothers!"

"Stepbrothers," Kurt corrected him almost automatically. "Just go, Finn."

Somewhat dejectedly, Finn got up from the couch and walked out of the room, not sparing any of the Warblers another glance. Kurt sighed before looking back at the group.

"Well, that was… interesting," Wes said pensively. Kurt just sent him an apologetic smile, hoping that he wouldn't get blamed for this, and he went back to where he'd been standing before Finn arrived. Blaine nudged him as he passed, and Kurt raised his brow questioningly. Then, Blaine smirked.

"Do you really have to have your 'lady chats' with your brother here?"

Kurt rolled his eyes in response. "Oh, hush, you."

A/N: So, what do you think? I really write too many Warbler-meetings-in-which-the-Warblers-find-out-about-the-madness-that-is-McKinley scenes, it seems. Anyway, let me know what you think, please review!