A/N: Well, this is significantly shorter than the previous chapter - I hope you don't mind (too much). As I said some time before, these chapters aren't necessarily in chronological order, even though up until now, they were. This, however, takes place at the beginning of 'Sexy', so that order is now officially non-existant :P Oh, before I forget - Kurt displays some... sexual knowledge (if you could even call it that) here, but I figured that it's the sort of stuff everyone sort of... knows. (I mean, we got sex ed when we were around 14 or younger, and even then, we already knew some of the stuff...) That's not to say he's completely comfortable talking about it :P
...I still really wish there were more Furt-scenes on the show (I think they've had one in total after the wedding?).
And oh wow, the new promo? Why is the next episode still two weeks away? :(
Anyway, hopefully you'll enjoy the chapter :)
"Finn. Care to inform me why Mercedes sent me about three texts today to make sure I wasn't eating any cucumber? And why the salad I prepared for dinner suddenly had no cucumbers in it anymore, while I was sure that I'd put them in there?"
Finn jumped out three feet in the air as his stepbrother's voice drifted into his room. He whipped his head around and there Kurt was, standing on the threshold with two glasses of warm milk in his hands, and he didn't look all too pleased – though Finn was relieved to see that he looked more confused than anything else.
Holding out one of his hands, Finn wondered how to start this particular story. It helped greatly that this was Kurt, who was used to the weird stuff that happened at McKinley, and not one of his Dalton friends, or a distant family member.
Walking into the room and wrinkling his nose at the mess, Kurt handed Finn his mug. Finn took this as a sign to start talking. "We had sex-ed today…"
Kurt shot him a weird look. "What does that have to do with cucumbers?"
"Apparently, they give you Aids," Finn announced with a grave look on his face. Strangely enough, Kurt didn't immediately crouch down and thank him for saving him from such an awful fate – no, he just raised an eyebrow at Finn in obvious disbelief.
"Aids, Finn? From cucumbers? Do you honestly think that people would still eat cucumbers if they gave you Aids?"
"Maybe not everybody knows about it," Finn replied.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Trust me, Finn – everything they teach at public school is general knowledge for the biggest part of the population. If cucumbers, or any other vegetable, caused Aids, they would no longer be sold."
"But Ms Holiday – " Finn started, eager to tell Kurt what she had taught them that day, but Kurt cut him off. However rude that was, though, it did give Finn the chance to drink some milk.
Delicious.
Not that he'd ever tell Puck or any of the other guys at school.
"Was probably thoroughly misinterpreted by you and Mercedes," Kurt finished his sentence. "Cucumbers don't give you Aids. Having unsafe sex can." This last bit came out a little strangled, but Finn chose not to comment on this.
"Then why did she show us a cucumber?" he asked, feeling slightly triumphant – he was sure Kurt wouldn't know what to say to that. Unfortunately for him, his stepbrother nearly always had something to say about everything.
"What did she do with the cucumber after telling you about Aids?" Kurt asked, and Finn didn't have to think for long.
"She showed us how – oh…," Finn said, suddenly understanding what Kurt was getting at.
"Exactly," Kurt said with a knowing, but also a little uneasy smirk. "There's nothing wrong with eating cucumbers. In fact, they're far more healthy than all the junk food you always eat."
Finn almost retorted that at least junk food didn't give him STDs, but he figured that Kurt had rendered that argument invalid by now. So he just ignored that final comment. "Maybe you should tell Mercedes, too," he told his stepbrother seriously. "If I tell her, she won't believe me. But she trusts you."
Kurt sighed. "I guess I'll have to, right? Especially now that she's finally eating salad, and not just tots. I still don't get why they brought those back."
Finn shrugged. "Pretty much all of coach Sylvester's changes were reversed when Figgins came back." Then he thought of something. "Why didn't Ms Holiday use something else to demonstrate the condom on?"
Kurt seemed to flinch a little now, but he replied nevertheless. "What else could she use? A banana? Then you would've thought bananas caused Aids…"
That was true too, Finn thought. "She just should've made it clearer that cucumbers are safe to eat," he said defiantly, and Kurt just shook his head.
"I think that's common knowledge for most people, Finn. I doubt she's actually met people before who thought… well, that."
"At least Mercedes was with me," Finn protested, and Kurt sighed.
"Why didn't you just ask if you didn't understand?" he asked.
Finn shrugged, staring at his mug with great interest. "I was just… shocked. Before I knew it, the class was over."
"Wait," Kurt said, "you didn't even pay attention to the rest of the story?"
"She didn't talk that much after that," Finn tried to calm him down. "She – I don't know what she did. But I don't think I missed all that much."
Kurt muttered something under his breath before standing up. "Well, I hope you realise that cucumbers – and other fruits and vegetables as well – are completely safe and healthy. Now, I need to go make sure Mercedes understands that as well."
Finn grinned at the face Kurt made – he didn't appear to be overjoyed at the prospect, quite the opposite, actually. "Good luck," he said cheerfully, but Kurt was out of the door already, leaving Finn to stare at his computer screen for a moment, before realising that he didn't really need to Google the combination of 'cucumbers' and 'STDs' anymore. He'd been confused when nothing had come up, but at least now, he understood. That was quite a relief.
A/N: So... what do you think? :) Did you like it, hate it, anything else? Either way, let me know, please review! :D