Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I should probably wait to put this up, but I really don't want to, so yeah.
At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.
I stood there and watched as my night got worse.
I mean, okay Lucas and I aren't a 'couple,' but he went to the dance with me. He kisses me. Not that waste of space pug faced bitch Theresa.
I guess I stood where I was to see what he would do when she wrapped her arms around him.
I won't deny that even though we aren't a 'couple' I was praying he pushed her away. I was praying he would tell her no. I was praying he chose me.
And I'm not at all a religious person so that means something.
He gave her a weird look and shook his head. She glared at him and tried again and he looked up and saw me standing there and smiled.
Finally, big man upstairs answered something for me. I owe him one.
My night just got a little better
He pried her arms off him and I jerked my head towards the door knowing he would follow before I slipped out. I sat down on the floor resting my head against the wall and let my eyes droop when I heard the door close.
"You won" I smiled up at him as he sat down next to me and I laid my head on his shoulder.
"You weren't there"
"I'm sorry… long lost brother not so lost anymore."
"I thought I saw him earlier, but I didn't want to get your hopes up. I should have told you when I first even got the-"
"It's alright." I murmured closing my eyes grabbing his hand.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm saving this in my memory as the moment"
"The moment?"
"Yeah, the moment I watched you walk away from Theresa to me" I smiled and I felt him kiss the top of my head.
"Good moment?"
I nodded. "It's like she has a death wish" I told him. "Bitch" I grumbled.
He let out a small laugh and I lifted my head to look at him. "How did it end?"
"Last second I made a half court shot" He shrugged.
"Are you serious? Damn it, stupid Easton. I could have seen my-" I cut off not knowing how to end the sentence.
We never discussed it.
To be honest, I don't know what I want from Lucas. Do I want to be the girlfriend of Mr. I won the game? Mr. Tree Hill High? Am I ready to be known as that girl?
Do I care about him? I don't know. Usually when it comes to guys, I don't care more than a night. I have never had a relationship before because too much goes on in a relationship. You have to worry about so much. Will he be okay with me doing this? I wonder where he is. Is he missing me like I'm missing him?
I never had a guy in my head this much. It's annoying. I'm Brooke Davis, I don't get attached. Too much comes with being attached.
But no, did Lucas ask if he could get in my head? No, he just jumped in not caring that gave a damn headache. He pisses me off, most people do, but with him it's different. Part of me is okay with him pushing me to the edge of pulling my hair out. Lucas makes me want to shove him and fight him, but then there is another part of me. A small part that wants him to hold me and kiss me. That part I guess is the caring part. That part is pissing me off more than Lucas does.
Do I want that commitment? Do I want the idea that at any moment he could drop me and not care how much it hurts me?
"You're what?" He looked me in the eye and I swallowed hard nervous of the talk I knew what would come.
"Lucas" I suggested and he shook his head and I stood up and started pacing back and forth as he kept his spot on the floor staring at me.
"I don't know Lucas. Do you understand what that means? What being a girlfriend means?"
"No mostly cause I'm a guy" He smirked and I glared.
"Funny. Seriously Lucas, so much baggage comes with that one word. And honestly maybe I don't care that much. Maybe I just don't trust you. Maybe you should just cut your losses cause well I'm nothing special"
He shook his head standing up quickly, grabbing my shoulders and I suddenly got very interested in my shoes.
"What's the real reason?"
"I don't want to" I mumbled and he shook his head pushing me gently against the wall placing his left hand next to my head and his right one under my chin. I tried my hardest to lift my eyes to look at him but he nudged my chin a little up and I snuck a glance.
"I'm scared to get what I want Lucas"
"Brooke…"
"Because if I get everything I want then I would have everything to lose. So many what if's come with it. What if I break it? What if it dies? What if it realizes I'm a freak and not worth sticking around? What if it hurts me? Or worse… What if I hurt you? I fear hurting you Lucas… or that you might feel stuck with me. What if I do something and you end up hating me? I can't have you hating me. Before yeah, I could, but not anymore. I can't go back to hating you. So it's easier to act like I don't care. That I don't want anything to do with you. Then I can't get hurt and I can't hurt you. That's my fear. I'm scared Lucas because this has been going on for less than a week and I actually have fun. You make me happy and being happy means bad things can happen making me lose it" I ramble and he shook his head leaning in to kiss me.
I say all that and he kisses me?
He pulled away and stared at me. He stared so long I started to get uncomfortable. It was as though he was searching for something. Something to tell him to go, to run.
"I won't hurt you, but if you don't want this tell me. Tell me no and I will stop this"
I glanced at my hands that I was playing with nervously as all these thoughts ran through me head. Am I ready for a relationship? Do I care enough to say Lucas Scott is my boyfriend?
"No" I whispered to myself, but I knew he heard me because he released me from his grip and turned to walk away and I realized I didn't like the feeling I got.
The feeling that I was losing him, the feeling that he was done with me. I realized I didn't like watching him walk away. I realized I was ready for him.
"Lucas" I said hoarsely from the wall I still hadn't moved from and he turned around.
"Yeah?" he asked running a frustrated hand through his hair.
"Your mine, okay?" I said with confidence and he let out a loud breath walking back to the wall covering mine with his own.
I let out a smile as I wrapped my arms tight around his neck pulling him closer to me. So Easton comes back, I fight with him, Ravens when the championship, I got a boyfriend.
Positives outweigh those negatives.
"You want to get out of here?" He asked me once he pulled away.
"Isn't there a party or something for the game?"
He shook his head. "I don't care, just come with me"
"Where are we going?"
"I didn't get to see her today" He told pulling me to his mom's car.
"Your mom is going to need this car" I tried to get out of the situation. No way in hell I'm meeting his sister. I mean, I want to meet her when I have all the things I wanted to bring her.
"She's going with your mom"
"But Lucas I don't have any of the things I was gonna bring for her"
"Then you will have to come next Saturday" He shrugged climbing in the car.
"Fine" I muttered climbing into the car, "But I'm telling her bad things about you"
We walked into the hospital and I started to get nervous. The hour and a half ride here made me start grow even more scared. I started checking my phone every five seconds; I wiped my sweating hands on my shirt for two reasons.
One, I'm scared to meet Lily.
Two, I hate hospitals…
"Lucas, I was only here a week ago. I don't like coming here twice in one week. It's bad luck"
"You're gonna be fine" He reassured grabbing my good hand and pulling me into the elevator and my heart started beating fast.
"Babe, seriously you need to calm down"
"Lucas, I am meeting you sister. I'm preparing myself. So shut your trap"
He shook his head at me and the older woman in the scrubs let out a small laugh.
"Hi, Miss Janey" Lucas smiled at her and she just nodded her head in his direction.
"I'd be scared to meet Lily. She has this boy wrapped around her little finger" Miss Janey joked.
"Proud of her" I mumbled when the elevator doors opened and Lucas once again pulled me down the hall to the room that held Lily. He opened the door to reveal a small brunette lying on the bed. There were no tubes in her like I expected.
She was just laying there… sleeping.
"Lucas, she is beautiful" I whispered looking at the little girl.
Her long dark brunette hair fell simply around her and looked like it was silk. Her pale face was unblemished from the fears and other emotion that usually were displayed across a young girls face.
She looked at peace lying there without a care in the world.
"Yeah, I know" He smiled proudly sitting in a chair next to her bed and grabbed her hand.
"Hey, Lil. You seem really good today. I won the championship just like I promised all those years ago. I did that for you. But hey, I want you meet someone" He whispered and turned to look at me.
I inched closer slowly scared that any sudden movements would break her. I sat on the side of her bed and grabbed her small little hand.
"Hey Lily, I'm Brooke." I smiled and Lucas stood up slowly and started towards the door.
"Where are you going?" I asked quickly.
"I need to go check in. Talk to her, she's a good listener" he told me walking out and I turned back to Lily.
"Your brother is annoying" I told her and she kept lying there. Something about her just made me want to confess my secrets.
"I like him though. You should be proud of him. He's a great big brother" I paused to slide off the bed in sit in a chair. "Unlike mine… you see Lily my brothers left me. And then my oldest one came back tonight. And I screamed at him, he deserved it though, right?" I asked her expecting to hear an answer. "That's what I thought. A little bit of advice, don't take your brother for granted."
"Lily, I need some help. You see I am a little lost. Before your brother. I didn't have much. I had my Peyton, I had my Rachel, I had my Quinn, and I had my mom. And now I have my Lucas. You're Lucas. And I just don't know how okay id be if you didn't want your Lucas to be my Lucas."
I stopped to see her just lying there. It was a little frustrating because you don't notice the little things until they aren't there. The fact I used to just want someone to listen not talk back but I wanted more than anything to here the little girls voice. I wanted to see her eyes.
"What am I'm saying? I'm just looking for a reason to run. I don't get close to people. Everyone I love leaves and I don't want him to feel smothered, you know? And I don't want to hurt again Lily. And he just walks through every wall I put up."
I ran my hands through her hair to just have some kind of connection with her.
"You know you have probably never seen it before but you look like Snow White. I'll bring that movie next time I come. And we can watch Little Mermaid and I will bring you fun music and make you cute clothes. You'll look like a fairytale princess. Just like every little girl should be."
"I'm gonna call you Snow. Just a thing between you and me, Snow" I smiled and didn't understand why I was starting to tear up. "Yeah, I like that. Snow…"
"You must have been so scared, Snow. Just to be stuck there, alone. Without your mom, your dad, Lucas. You probably think everyone left you. They didn't though. They all love you and they need you. So you need to just open those beautiful eyes so I can see if their like your big brother's. And then I will take you anywhere you want to go because I feel like you me could get along pretty well, Snow. We can complain about Lucas together"
I heard the door open and Lucas was standing at the door. "Hey, uh…"
"Yeah, I'll give you a few minutes." I stood up and leaned in and kissed Lily's forehead. "I'll see you next week Snow"
I stepped out of the room and started walking. I didn't know exactly where I was going but somehow I ended up in front of the chapel and I decided to step in. I sat in very back row before I started talking.
"Hey, so you know me. I don't do this. I actually don't know how to do this." I stopped to take a deep breath and realized how angry I was. "You must think you are so funny. Just abusing the powers you think you deserve. She is six years old. There is nothing she could have possibly done to you for her to deserve this. Nothing. You didn't give her a chance to mess up, to make mistakes. Well guess what… you're not going to win this time. I refuse to let you take her life away. She's gonna beat you and I am going to laugh when she does"
I stood up and turned to leave. "Did you just say you're gonna laugh at God?"
"What you doing here?" I asked embarrassed.
"Came to tell visiting hours were over. No, serious, you just said you're gonna laugh at God. I take back what I said, you aren't going to Hell. You're driving the bus"
"Shut up" I laughed shoving him out the door.
"Hey" He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him. "Thanks for coming with me"
"Thanks for letting me" I smiled lacing my fingers through his and placing his arm around my shoulder.
Reviews would be greatly appreciated.
it's short, i know. i actually had it longer but i decided i liked it where i ended it and the part i did write could be a good start to next chapter.