I don't know how much I like this chapter. I jumped a little in time. As you will see in the first line. Sorry it took so long. I would start it, not like it and then try again. I really wish I could get to the juicy parts but I cant.
I also have a Lucas' POV story. It has all the chapters up until this point just in his POV. I cant put it up though because it would completely ruin plot by doing that so I will put it up but after this story is done.
I also have been writing a sequel to it. I don't know if I will continue it though. I might end this one a certain way or decide to do the sequel because I like the idea of it, I just don't know if I want to do it. This story still has a lot but I already know how it is going to end.
I already have the last five chapters written I just have to get there from where I am now. It is very difficult. There is still a major point in the plot that wont be revealed till near the end, so yeah.
Okay, I'm done rambling. Here's the chapter.
Always the tone of surprise
- Ron Weasley
Lucas Scott has been my boyfriend for a month. It's weird, having a boyfriend. I actually care what he thinks of me for some weird probably philosophical reason. He's definitely a difficult person to deal with. One second he is super touchy feely then it's like something in his mind flips and he puts this wall up where he is all pissy and annoyed with me and I don't even do anything.
We fight a lot; break up every other day just to make up minutes later. And the fights are so often probably because we kind of sort of hated each other for a while and are stubborn. Quinn says it is because we are so passionate. Rachel says it's because we are sexually frustrated. I don't know which one I believe though.
Surprisingly, he hasn't even really tried to have sex with me. From the stories I have told him I would have thought he would have jumped at the first chance. I'm not saying that because I think I am the hottest thing and think every guy I come across wants to throw me up against a wall, but Lucas has actually said he wanted to do that and he knows I'm not saving myself or anything.
Not that I'm saying I'm a slut or a whore or easy or any variation of the word you want to call me because I'm not. Except you could maybe say the old version of me is. I hate that version though. The one that partied and had sex with random strangers. I hated that girl. I made a promise to myself that I would at least care about the guy I have sex with next.
And I do care about him. I even care for him when he is being an ass. I accept him for all his jackass ways. God only knows why. He has his quirks about him that I do like. Annoying him is probably my favorite thing ever. I'll just sit there and tell him he's going to miss my amazing personality when he leaves or I will just call him out on when he once slept in a hummer with six guys. Of course they were just sleeping because the girl's house they were going to stay at was off limits for the fact they had penises. I don't think I am really annoying him though, I think he is more just joking with me.
I like him though, I care about him and I don't know how comfortable I am with that.
"You're smiling again" Peyton laughed at me as I sat on my bed as she painted my nails since it is a little hard with a casted arm.
"I know. I hate it" I grumbled.
"I've noticed. What's up with that?"
"I feel like I shouldn't be this happy. Lucas shouldn't make me this happy." I tried and failed at not smiling at his name. I hate him for that. I hate it that he made it that I hear his name and I instantly smile.
"Yeah, Jake has the same affect on me" She grinned.
"How did you know you liked Jake?" I asked saying as Peyton was the best person to talk when it came to relationships.
"What do you mean?" She replied.
"You guys have been friends forever. Clay and Jake have been friends forever. How did that change to something more?"
"I think it was always there. I think attraction is always there people just don't take the time to notice. I started noticing when they said his name and I smiled or when I wasn't with him I wanted to be with him and Jenny. The fact I accepted Jenny so quickly, that I looked at her like my own. I would randomly bring his name into conversations not even realizing I did. He would walk into a room and I smiled until he left. My day was better when I was with him and when I saw a basketball or a guitar hell a Beatles poster I thought Jake. I wouldn't even notice I was thinking about him but then I'd get this feeling of butterflies and then I think stop thinking about him. It makes you a gooey mess" She explained with beaming smile. Any larger and it would probably break her face or something.
"You feel the same way, even after all this time?"
"Yeah, and I love it cause he feels the exact same way" She laughed happily, "That's how you are, you know?"
"What?"
"The last month you haven't stopped smiling and I see you just staring off into space. There's also when we went to Karen's and the second he walked in you just lit up. You also bring him up all the time. The fights just show you two are just crazy about each other. And when I say Lucas" she paused to watch me hide the smile, "That happens. Lucas Scott has you under his spell. What's worse though is he is under yours"
I bit my lip to stop the smile that I wanted to break out. "Really?"
"Brooke Davis, I have never seen a boy make you this happy except for one… and he has four legs" She teased and I shoved her.
"Shut up. I don't like him that much" I denied.
"You little liar. You two are always all over each other. I can only imagine how often you two do it"
"We haven't exactly"
"Really? That's surprising"
"Huh? How is that surprising?"
She gave a small shrug and narrowed my eyes at her. "You aren't a virgin, Brookie. And he knows that"
"I know! That's the weird thing. He hasn't even suggested it" I exclaimed confused.
"Do you want to?" She asked and I like her shrugged.
"I don't know. I mean you have seen him right?"
Peyton threw her head back in laughter. "Yeah, I have seen him."
"We all know he has a body. The cocky ass used to count his abs in class." I groaned which again made Peyton laugh.
"You don't think he is getting it somewhere else right?" I asked never voicing my insecurities.
"Honestly?" She asked and I nodded. "No, Lucas Scott is a blunt person, harshly blunt, much like you. If he didn't want you. He wouldn't be with you" She told me.
"Thanks. I needed that" I told her.
"Brooke!" we heard a masculine voice from downstairs and I jumped up.
"What's he doing here?" Peyton asked me as she put the lid back on the maroon color bottle.
"I don't know" I smiled when he knocked on the door and I opened it to a smiling Lucas.
"Well, hello Bob" He murmured leaning into kiss my cheek. I turned my face to capture his lips making him laugh against my lips not even caring about the annoying nickname he had seem to forget for a while.
We heard Peyton cough behind us and I reluctantly pulled away to look at her.
"Yes?" I asked.
"Well I will be downstairs" Peyton told us scooting passed Lucas who I was making my way back towards.
"Hey" I smiled sliding my arms around his neck and standing on my tip toes to kiss him.
"Hey babe" he mumbled into my lips and as he kissed me with that magic mouth of his I wondered once again why he hadn't once propositioned sex. At this point I would gladly say yes.
It made my insecurities come to front of my mind. Was he not trying with me because he was getting it somewhere else?
No, stop Brooke. Lucas is with you. If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't be. Peyton even said that so I just needed to stop being stupid.
I couldn't help but notice in that moment that mine and Grey's relationship with our guys really weren't much different. Get with a player, always wondering if he is playing. Damn my weird sister ways kicking in now.
"What are you thinking about?" Lucas questioned me as we walked hand in hand out of the hospital.
We had just visited his beautiful little sister and I brought in all these movies and posters for her even though she didn't see them. I read Dr. Seuss books to her because at her age that would probably be where she is reading wise.
I bought her a Snow White blanket and placed it on top of her old hospital covers and Lucas even let me paint her fingernails after the nurses had Okayed it. Lucas had told me that she was very into blue and white. I couldn't help but wonder if that was because she worshipped big brother and big brother played for the Ravens. Anywho, I had bought a bright blue nail polish and then a pure white one. I painted the undercoat blue before putting white polka dots on top of it.
We had stayed for about an hour before we decided to leave and I of course wanted to stay longer. "I don't understand how I became so attached"
"She has that affect on people" Lucas laughed at me and I let out a small nod other thoughts still plaguing my mind.
"What else's is on your mind?" he asked curiously.
"Just thinking about Grey. I just wanted to talk to her about girl stuff. It just suck I can't. I mean she's in love and she has Devon to talk to about it. She is probably going crazy" I laughed.
"Would you forgive her? If she called right now and said I'm sorry I'm coming home, would you forgive her?"
"If you would have asked me a month ago? My answer be no, but now… I think at this point we've lost going on three years, why waste more fighting? So yeah, I probably would"
"Look who is growing up" He smiled stopping me grabbing my other hand.
I looked up at him with wide smile. I don't know why Lucas makes me so happy, but he does and it scares me the thought of him being with someone else. I wanted him to just want me.
He looked down at me taking one hand and cupping my face, the other finding its way to my hip. The look was one of caring. He eyes were slightly squinted from the sun and he just had a hint of smile crossing his face.
"What?" I asked nervously with him looking at me with those eyes. He seemed so genuine looking that if he asked me to jump off a bridge at this moment I would definitely debate it.
His eyes made it seem like he finally had put the pieces together and I actually felt his heart pounding. I actually do that to Lucas Scott. Well that makes my day.
"You're beautiful" He said shaking his head, "You're smile is beautiful, you're laugh, you're voice. Everything about you is beautiful. You need to know that I think you are beautiful" He told me his smile getting slightly bigger.
He has never said anything like that to me. It warmed me and made me want to melt into him. I don't know why I think so much. Not thinking and just being here with him was more than enough for me.
I slipped my arms tightly around his neck and started play with hair on his neck and I continued to smile at him.
"Shit" He mumbled. I watched his features grow dark and he whispered for me to get into the car. Confused, I slid into the passenger seat and watched him start shouting to himself.
"Fuck, damn it, holy fucking shit" He cursed and my eyes got wide. Maybe I should just act like I don't hear it.
He kept running his hands through his hair and kicked the tire a couple of times before getting back into the car. I looked over at him shocked and silent as he started to drive off.
"Oh… so we're ignoring what just happened? Oh okay. Good to know" I broke the silence sarcastically once he had pulled into my driveway… well Rachel's driveway.
"Sorry… I just"
"What was that Lucas? One second you were fine and then you freaked out? You are more hot and cold than I ever could be" I told him angrily getting out of the car.
"What is that supposed to mean?" he followed me and I quickly turned to answer him.
"Since we got together, one second you are happy and you seem to actually look like you care about me-"
"I do care about you" He cut in but I continued my ramble.
"Then all of a sudden it's like you realize it. Like you noticed you were having fun with me and throw up this wall and are mean and seem annoyed… or you tell me I'm beautiful which you have never said and then you scream. Why can't you just happy with me?" I yelled hurt pushing him away from me.
"I am happy" He tried to tell me and I shook my head.
"Then what is it all of those other times where you are fighting yourself? Did you think I didn't notice? It hurts Lucas…" I confessed looking at the ground.
"I'm not meaning to… I don't want to hurt you" He seemed defeated but I didn't look at him.
"I don't do this Lucas… you know I don't…. and if you don't want this then just tell me because I don't want to feel-"
"Shut up" He cut me off and I placed my hands on my hips angrily.
"Excuse me. Don't tell me to shut up because you know while we are on the subject. You know I am not a virgin so why the hell have you not even-"
"Brooke…" He once again interjected.
"Stop interrupting me" I growled and he shook his head taking a step towards me, "Lucas it just doesn't make sense. You're a guy. Guys have needs-"
"So, we've gone from me not caring to that I am cheating on you?" He asked his anger returning.
"What am I supposed to think? You don't have the greatest track record, Lucas" I snapped and he took a step away from me before answering.
"And you do? Should we call up Sam, see what he has to say? Oh wait… you don't know his number. You don't even know his real name"
"That's not fair" I yelled.
"Oh and it's fair that because I don't want to fuck you, I am with someone else. Makes perfect sense. God if I knew you were such a slut I could have saved a lot of time all those years. All I had to do was corner you in a bedroom"
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and it hurt. I could take people calling me names. Of course I would get angry but when Lucas said it just hurt. I reared back and hit him as hard as I could before heading to the front door.
"And once again, you run away" He mocked me.
I turned to face him not letting him see the tears that were close to falling. "Why do I even try? You end up hurting me every time I get close" I sighed.
"Brooke-"
"Do you even care? You know what…. I don't. So go fuck Theresa because I don't care" I shook my head.
"That's such bullshit, Brooke. For once, admit it!"
"Admit what!" I yelled back.
"That you need me!" He screamed and I shook my head wanting to get away from him.
"I don't need you. You aren't special Lucas" I hissed. He ran his hands over his face.
"Fine, then I'm done" I kept standing there as he looked at me from the bottom step. "You not gonna stop me?"
"No, we're done" I told him weakly. He curtly nodded going to his car and slamming the door. I hear the car start.
God, this hurts. It wasn't supposed to hurt this bad. I don't even care that much about him.
Who am I kidding? Of course I care about him. He is everything I hate but it just makes me want him more. It makes me wait for those moments where he proves me wrong. I don't need him, but god I want him.
This one feels different. This 'I'm done' feels different. It's because he has never said it. I am the one to end it, never him. Maybe we are too different. Maybe Lucas and Brooke were never supposed to go together. It would make sense with all our problems. He's screwed up, I'm screwed up, and maybe we were destined to fail.
I hear the car shut back off. I stare off to the side because I didn't want to see him. I crossed my arms tight over my chest staring at a chip in the wood on Rachel's porch. "Fuck" He muttered and I could hear him calmly climb up the steps and try to pull me into him.
"No Lucas, you said we were done, so be done" I whispered not wanting to go any higher knowing my emotions were having a hard time staying in control.
"Baby…" he sighed grabbing my belt loop and pulling me close. I stumble into him and my arms go to his chest to catch myself. I lay my head on his chest and breathe in his scent.
"That hurt" I whimpered and felt him kiss the top of my head.
"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Any of it" he whispered and I nodded.
"I'm not a slut" I mumbled.
"I know, baby. I know you aren't. I don't know why I said that" he responded.
"I'm sorry I accused you of cheating" I muttered.
"I only want you. I just don't want you thinking it's the only reason I'm with you. We don't have the best past together. I've said things-"
I gripped his neck and pulled him to me, meeting his lips. He responded by pushing against the door and I reached behind me to find the doorknob and quickly turned it as we stumbled back into the house. "I don't care" was the last thing I said before he picked me up and took me quickly to my room.
I woke up hours later and rolled over onto Lucas. I rested my chin on his bare chest and played the chin that hung around his neck. It was a simple long silver chain with a ring hanging on it. I picked up the ring inspecting it and saw the inscription on the inside.
'I'm your favorite Lily' was written around the inside of the ring.
I laughed softly not surprised. From the stories I've heard Lily Scott had Lucas wrapped around her finger and still does.
"What are you laughing at?" I looked up to see his eyes still closed and had a small smile playing on his lips. He pulled me up so I was looking directly at him.
"You're necklace" I told him.
"Oh, yeah. Lily got mad when I told her once that she wasn't my favorite. So for Christmas she made my mom go and get a ring that said it. She is too smart for her own good. The thing was she didn't take into account I'm a guy and I didn't want to wear a ring so instead of her getting upset I got the chain and I haven't ever taken it off" He explained pushing back a stray piece of my hair behind my ear.
"I think she is also my favorite Lily" I replied and he leaned up to kiss me.
"She is everyone's favorite. Felix thought she was seriously the coolest kid he has ever met the first time he met her"
"What do you miss about her?" I asked and he sighed.
"Her laugh. I probably miss her laugh the most because it was such an innocent laugh. It was like she didn't think anything could ever go wrong. There would be times when my day would be horrible and she would just waltz in with her blankie in tow and start telling me all the things she learned that day or she would think I was the best person ever and I was better. Shed shake her head at me and tell me I was silly. She would laugh and I would be better. Shed smile and my day was made. She made me want to better. She still does" He explained, "You do that now though"
"What do you mean?" I asked starting to play with the necklace not wanting him to see my flushed face.
"You're smile makes my day and you well go on and start rambling and start using your hands and I am completely drawn in with every word. You walk in and everything I thought I knew about you walks out the door. I hate myself for how I treated you. I hate that I made you think that I thought you were nothing but a pretty package because you will never be just a pretty package to me. You are beautiful inside because you take care of Nathan and you make sure that I am put my place and take care of your friends. You believe in me Brooke, you aren't just a girl, and you're my girl. My pretty girl" He smiled at me and I chewed on my lip.
"You are going to ruin me, you know that right?" I asked with a big smile breaking through.
"Yeah, but probably not as much as you have already ruined me."
I heard my phone ringing so I quickly kissed him before I reached over and answered it. "Hello?"
"I don't know if this is the right number. I know but now I am thinking what if it isn't and now I am calling a random human being-"
"Grey?" I questioned and Lucas shot up in the bed and I shrugged.
"Brooke?"
"Yes?" I asked.
"Baby, it is her." She must be talking to her on screen brother off screen boyfriend. "Because she just said yes when I said Brooke! I know, this is good so far."
"Grey, you gonna talk to me or just Beck?" I asked not angry more amused.
"Oh my god! Baby, she watched Chelsea Lately!"
"I am so glad we aren't annoying like that" I told Lucas making him laugh as he started to play with my fingers.
"Who were you just talking to?"
"Now she hears what I say. I was talking to Lucas, Grey. My boyfriend" I told her.
"You have a boyfriend? Baby, she has a boyfriend" I started to laugh and Lucas raised an eyebrow.
"She is definitely the same Grey" I told him.
"How are you, Brooke?"
"Since last time we spoke? A lot better" I smiled over at Lucas.
"That's good. Beck told me that I just needed to get some courage and talk to you. So here I am. You'd really like him Brooke."
"I'm glad you're happy Grey" I told her honestly, "Why'd you call though?"
"I miss you" She sounded like she was five.
"Come home, Grey"
"I can't, not yet"
"What's holding you back?"
"I can't." She wasn't talking to me anymore. "I need to make sure before I do anything stupid, Beck. I love you, but this isn't your fight"
"Grey?"
"I can't come home yet and I can't tell you why but please know that I love you and I am sorry. I gotta go. I'm sorry for calling"
"Grey? Grey?" I sat the phone down, "She hung up on me" I sighed.
"Come here" he pulled me to him and I rested on his chest.
"I'm happy. I'm happy I'm here with you. I'm happy that I am happy. I can admit that now" I told him honestly.
I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest by telling him that. I felt like nothing was holding me back. I can be with Lucas happily and being sad and mad just takes too much time.
Lucas left a few hours ago and now I'm in this big house alone. I never liked big houses, they sort of scared me. You know, you start to think you hear things that you don't hear and see things you never really saw. Yeah, I start to think I have super hearing when I stay in a big house by myself.
I hear the doorbell ring and jump up. I slowly make my way to the door.
"Hi Brooke" I went to slam the door and he put his arm out.
"Leave" I told him trying to stay calm and not look scared shitless.
"I needed to talk to you" He tried to explain and I laughed with no humor.
"You want to talk? I don't want to talk to you. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead" I growled.
"Brooklyn-"
"Stop, don't talk to me like you have authority over me. Don't talk to me like I am child. You were never a parent. You are a drug addict, you are a loser, and you are a child abuser. You broke my arm because I was defending myself. You were a coward and left when things got hard. Those years when you were gone, the best of my life. So please, I am begging you, leave" I said as strong as I could.
He wouldn't leave though. Every time I would go to shut the door he would stop it and I was starting to get nervous. He probably 'found' God again. He always did when he got sober. I wish someone was here but Rachel was out with I guess Felix and Alex was at Quinn's and I was here alone. I honestly wished Nathan or Easton or Lucas were here. I needed someone here.
"Please, Dan. Please just go" I was shaking as he stepped closer and I took a step behind the door so only my face was showing.
"Brooklyn" He was doing this because he knew he had the power. It probably didn't even bother him that I was completely shaking out of fear because of him.
"Do you want to hear it Dan? Fine, I'm scared of you. You scare me and I don't want to be near you because I am scared of what you could do" I confessed and his eyes went weird.
"Aww, Brooke. At least you admit. That bastard that you follow around on the other hand…" he trailed off and my heart raced.
He came here to hurt me. He loved the idea of people being intimidated by him and now that I admitted it… oh god what did he do?
"What did you do to him?" I asked worried.
"You know… he is not the best influence. Don't think you are special, he has probably cheated on you, probably talked complete shit about you. I mean you wonder if I thought it was a little weird. Living in a house when I knew that he was friends with Nathan… he would talk about him and I thought it couldn't be the same Nathan. The Nathan Davis I knew was a fat ass and a little brat" I held the door tighter out of anger. Who talks about their kid like that? He was jumping from subject to subject and I started to wonder if he was on something.
"Well, he realized he didn't want to follow in your footsteps" I angrily spat.
"Listen here you little bitch… I was good to you children and you treated me like trash"
"What fantasy world do you live in? You were high the whole time. You made sure mom thought she was nothing. You fought Easton cause he will always better than you. You were not good to us. We don't even remember you… and you're wrong. You're wrong about Lucas because he is a good person and he makes me want to be better something you never could do"
"Maybe that explains all the talks he would have with friends how you were frigid bitch. The ice queen. Honestly I had a hard time sitting there and not agreeing"
I chewed on my lip nervously as he continued his rant about me. "And then there was that one time… where he said you were…" He tapped his chin with an evil smile.
"Dan-"
"Wait, Brooklyn. I want to get this right. He said you were and excuse my language you were completely fuckable. Disgusting, I know because look at you" He gestured to me rudely. "What about you is appealing? You aren't the most attractive girl"
I swallowed hard praying he would just go. He was scaring me and insulting me and I didn't like it and I really didn't like him talking about Lucas. "His mother… well she was tolerable, seemed very sad about that little brat that just is in that hospital"
"Stop" I weakly said struggling to keep my emotions together.
"Brooklyn you need to grow up" He told me and I started breathing heavily.
"Dan, you need to go" I looked over Dan's shoulder and let out a huge sigh of relief. Thank you, whoever pulls the strings. Thank you.
"Son, it's been so long. How are you?" Dan asked trying to start a conversation.
"Get the hell out of here Dan or I will call the police. At this point they probably a warrant out for you. I will personally tell them everything you have ever done. I'm not a kid anymore Dan. I'm an adult and you have nothing over me. So get away from her before I make you"
Dan's eyes hardened and my heart raced at what he might do. "Who do think you are?"
"Last time I checked I am Easton Davis. I don't know though you like to change your name, can I change mine?"
Easton, you idiot don't egg him on. Just let him leave. "You think you are all big and tough?"
"You think you are? You broke a seventeen year old girl's arm. You're fucking daughter. What kind of sick man does that?" Crap, Easton's pissed. Easton pissed is like Nathan and I pissed combined than times ten.
"You going to save her like you always do?"
"Yeah, I am. Just liked I saved mom from you. Because you are worthless piece of shit that preys on defenseless people. Besides, who else is going to protect her when her father is the one she needs protecting from? Except, I am more of a father to her than you ever were"
Dan was always jealous of Easton. It was always clear he hated that Easton was smarter, and a better man. He hated that Easton was just like our grandfather, Dan's father, and Dan was nothing like him. Dan always hated Easton.
"Where were you when I broke her arm then?" Dan was baiting him. He knew Easton was going to lunge at him at any moment.
"I'm here now. I'm not going to let you hurt her, or Nathan. I'm not going to fight you Dan. I won't put mom through that. I'm not going to become you Dan. So leave, because none of us want you" Easton shrugged.
"Whatever, you guys are all worthless anyway. Tell your slut of mother I said hello" He roughly pushed passed Easton and I saw Easton's jaw clench along with his fists. Dan knew you didn't talk bad about mom but Easton showed restraint and didn't move until he knew he was gone. Then he quickly made his way to me. I was still shaking and he quickly hugged me.
"Thank you Easton" I whispered.
"It's alright, sis. I'm not going to let him hurt you. I am sorry I ever gave him the chance"
"I'm still mad at you" I informed him.
"Yeah I know"
I nodded in response and continued to hug him because I was scared. And when I was younger and I was scared, I went to Easton. Even though I was mad as hell at him, I needed him because he was big brother and like he said: he was more of a father than Dan ever was.
So there it is…. I still don't know if I like it but you know here it is.
Oh my god, since Easton was in this chapter i think i should let this be known. Earlier tonight, i was stupid and allowed 'Easton' dye my hair. For anyone that mgiht think letting a man that has had a beer or two do your hair is not a good idea! And to add my little brother sat with a latex glove on sitting in front of me keeping it inches from myself. im allergic to latex. i was freaking out. So yes, that was a mistake, my hair came out okay but my poor scalp hurt because those two do not know how to brush a girls hair... men...
Now if you are questioning the fight.
Brooke is an independent person and likes to take the first sign to run. She is insecure from all her past issues and when she knows that Lucas knows things about her it just makes her mind go into over drive even when it probably shouldn't.
She also knows fighting with him is just a way for them to vent how they are feeling and in a way communicate. You will see fights in their future but it just makes them want each other more…
Okay, I'm done, I promise.
Review!