It's time to shed just a little bit of light on what is going on.

This chapter goes out to the one, the only… Siberian Shewolf. I love your reviews! They are insightful and fun to read!

Sookie

Chapter Eleven

There Are No Words

I was tired of death in all its facets; having to kill and having to watch all manner of creatures die in my presence. In a sense it got easier. Not entirely because at end of the day it all felt so senseless and ugly but most of all it was exhausting.

Eric just held me as I wallowed in the glumness that followed events like these. The only piece of clothing I had was the shirt off his back. He knew I didn't want reassurances or rationalizations. I just wanted to feel his body wrapped protectively around mine. He got me he always has. Before we shared blood before the bond was made; he just got me and though I did not think it would happen I fell asleep.

When I woke it was to a cool hand brushing my hair from my face. I leaned into it. I was feeling clingy and it was very unlike me. He felt it. He leaned forward and kissed my head. "I have you. You are safe" My eyes were still closed as I moved and found his lap and rested my head on it. He was rubbing my back gently "I know you are weary but you must wake" The less mature side of me wanted to throw a pillow over my head. I knew exactly why I was being dragged from my feelings of safety and security. He needed the details of what happened. There were vampires that were present at the scene. With their super senses they could probably account for more than I ever could. Most importantly those vampires were awake. He didn't give me chance to comply. He sat up slowly and took me with him. I fought the urge to whine. I could hardly say I didn't have clothes because I saw a few selections across the back of a chair.

"Are you okay" Gideon glided next to Eric once the door opened. It was hard to believe he hadn't been there all along. I nodded and even added a weak smile. We walked and joined Pam and Tristan as they were exiting their room. Tristan had been wounded during the fight. There were no signs of damages on him now. It made me think of Edgar. Last I saw him he was half stumbling into the hotel with the unwilling aide of Thalia.

"Do you know what room Edgar is in" That question was open to anyone who knew the answer and felt like volunteering. From Tristan I got a look that said he didn't know or care. From Pam I got an expression that was both dismal and amused. Nothing I did made sense to her but it cracked her up all the same. Eric pointed me in the right direction.

"I'm going to check on him" He looked like he was going to protest but he simply nodded

"We will be in room 821" They watched me walk away. They didn't leave until the door opened and I entered. The room was completely dark. I guess with super sense they got to save money on electric bills. I was jealous. He saw it was a human at the door and turned on the light in the walk way.

"Your majesty" He hadn't gotten cleaned. His clothes were stained with dried blood and dirt. The make shift sling I crafted from my dress was still on him. He was a dreadful sight.

"I came to see if you had everything you needed" He was leaning against the wall. He looked paler than he should. He staggered further into his room turning on lights as he went.

The floor surrounding the bed was littered with bottles of blood. "Have you had a donor" He looked at me for a moment his fatigue and pain subsided. He looked confused. That was the least depressing face I have ever seen him wear.

"In my state I would drain them" he didn't sound like the prospect bothered him. I guess it would be a hassle to dispose of the bodies after. Whatever the reasoning I appreciated the consideration. But bottled blood was cutting it. I picked up his room phone and called the front desk. There was an angular crystal center piece on the night stand. I filled it with soapy water. I also brought him some wash cloths.

Edgar cut his shirt off. I held his hand pushed into his side as he cleaned his face and neck. The damage to his arm was extensive. In all the time that had passed. His arm still was only about a quarter way joined to his body. I looked elsewhere because his bone had been severed clean through. When he was done I replaced the piece of my dress with a torn sheet. It prevented his arm from dangling about. It also saved him some dignity and pain. When I was leaving room service was at his door with bags of blood I had asked for. I wasn't too sure how appropriate the term room service was. It was a sketchy looking guy with a picnic sized cooler.

"Thank you" Edgar said.

I smiled. "You're welcome" Of course he didn't return my smile but I thought we were making progress.

On my way to the to meet Eric I chanced across Alana. She bowed. It was so reluctant I thought her neck would snap in two. The two distinguishing factors for Alana were her permanently exposed midsection and her under developed cleavage. My guess was she compensated for her eternally young body by barely clothing it. She was a tiny little thing; barely a teenager when she had died the first time. What she lacked in stature she made up for in unremitting hostility. The only person whose glower could surpass hers was Thalia. that's saying something.

"I was sent by his majesty to watch over Edgar" She said those words as if it killed her all over again to do so. She has always made me uncomfortable. I simply nodded and walked on.

I knew I was in the right place when I spotted two hulking guards outside the door. They nodded and let me enter. It was just each royal and their personal guards present. I took the empty seat next to Eric. The room was chucked full of tension. No one had to tell me that accusations were being thrown around. It wouldn't have been appropriate to say, "Hey ya'll what I miss" I waited for them to continue.

"We are discussing who the target could have been" Isaiah said. Tristan's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Isaiah's right hand was a short sandy haired vampire that had lived well into his thirties. He caught the look on Tristan's face and didn't let it go unanswered.

"It would not benefit us to end her" That was comforting. They glared at each other and neither of their heads of states said anything.

"Are you guys serious?" If this is why they had me dragged out of bed I was going to be seriously pissed off. They all had to excuse me if I was snippy as I explained my logic. I had no patience in me. I had been through hell. It was an unholy hour of the night. I had been dragged out of bed; I saw the inside of a vampire's arm and I was tired. "This right here" I gestured between Tristan and his opponent. "Is the aim no matter who the target had been" Our little alliance had enemies. While killing one of us would be very good for a lot of other kingdoms. It would be even better to sit back and watch us fight amongst ourselves then pick us off. If the attack had been the gas the atmosphere in here would be the match. I really didn't think Isaiah had a hand in it if he did then his plan wasn't very well thought out. He lost some people and he had been extremely close to the blast and the impending fight. On top of all that he was one of the last people to hit the deck. Not to say Pam could be counted out of anything diabolical but I didn't think she had a hand in it either. If anything she would have blown up half of his house in a ploy to ax him. The attack we suffered was like a shot gun blast. Pam would have set it off like a sniper rifle. If I knew nothing else about her for sure I knew that much. Out of royals in the alliance that left me and Eric, the last thing I wanted was a fight of any scale with anyone. Eric had expressed he wanted stability. Killing Isaiah was no way to get it.

Eric was feeling quite smug but he kept quiet. There was a smile playing at the corner of Pam's lips. I knew she got a kick out my upheavals. The room was quite as they saw my point. Slowly the bulk of the tension began to dissipate.

"There is just one more thing that I wanted explained" Isaiah was his easy going self again. "How did you prevent harm to our numbers?" I gave him a leveled look. Some people would have just said thank you and be done with it. In his eyes I saw he was hoping I had something to bottle and sell to him.

"Last I check I'm not your wife. I don't answer to you" It wasn't that I particularly answered to Eric it was just a way to deflect the question in what was an acceptable vampire manner. The first half was all mine though. Eric gave him a bland expression and stood. He nodded good byes to him and Pam. I did the same.

I felt bad leaving Arkansas knowing Pam needed me for whatever it was that was upsetting her outside of getting her house destroyed and nearly being made finally dead. We got home late in the morning. I decided to go see my uncle. I left my body guards at home because fairies weren't kind to weres. I also wouldn't be going far. Dermot was in Monroe. It was a good opportunity to visit with my cousin as well.

The sun was shining and the ugliness of last night was fading from the front of my mind. It felt good to drive my own car. It was the same one I bought from my uncle. I rarely got to drive it. One of the things I disliked about having guards was that I couldn't just turn the radio up and sing along as we drove. They were supposed to protect me. After being forced to listen to me sing they may let me die to free themselves of what I called a singing voice.

Claude's town house was exactly as I remembered. My uncle was in the front of the house shirtless doing yard work. It was a treat for the women walking by. I eagerly joined him. It seemed that things that were once necessary chores in my life were now special privileges. When it got too hot to do anything else we went inside and I brought up Pam, wished to God that I hadn't.

"I saw Pam yesterday" He frowned like I had uttered the mother of curse words. That explained a lot. I took a bite of the sandwich he made and took an awful long time to chew it. This conversation really had no place to go but down.

"She is not someone I care to discuss. In fact I am not yet decided on making her finally dead" I knew he cared about her and I knew they had a different; more violent way to connect to each other but he sounded off; he sounded bitter and very serious.

"Someone tried to beat you to it" It got a reaction out of him and it wasn't positive. Of course that could just mean he wanted to do it himself but it still counted.

"I am sure she deserved worse than she got" Spoken like a woman scorned. I was thinking of what could have happened. The only thing I came up with was that he frowned upon her marrying someone. For a brief moment I considered his part in what happened last night. I was ashamed of myself for thinking it. He wouldn't. A fairy and his vampire lover who were both centuries old were having relationship problems. There was no bit of advice I could offer from my twenty-seven years of life to either of them. More importantly they weren't asking. I left that whole thing alone. The main reason for my visit had been a bust but once we moved past the subject of Pam Dermot was himself again.

"Hello cousin" Claude came home a few hours later. I was at the kitchen sink getting a glass of water. To my complete surprise he actually sounded happy to see me. It was a welcomed change.

"You best stop being so cheery I may actually think you care" He chuckled and hugged me. He pulled away to look at me and everything changed.

His eyes widened and they were glued to my stomach. I was worried that he had taken my joke as something other than that.

"You" he whispered his voice was subdued. His handsome face was befuddled.

"What?" I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him. I wasn't in the mood for this. If he started his usual crap I would pitch a fit. He staggered back a few steps and fell into a chair without the usual fairy grace.

"You are with child" He whispered. I scowled.

"That's not funny" I sat down across from him trying to portray anger but I was hurt. It was a shame that we all couldn't be as perfect bodied as he was. Thinking I was fat was one thing. There was no way I was fat enough to be confused for pregnant.

Dermot was now in the kitchen watching my hurt expression and Claude's incredulity. After a long moment he said. "He does not jest" I ground my teeth and stood up. Thankfully my purse was close by. I prepared for a good old fashioned righteous walk out.

"If you two invited me over to poke fun at me then I'm going home" I spun on my heel and turned towards the door. Claude grabbed my wrist with enough force to bring me to an abrupt halt.

"Fairies cannot tell direct lies" he said. My mouth was hanging open. I knew as much.

"That's not possible" I was shaking my head and trying to pull away from his hold as if the distance would change his mind.

I once saw Claude conduct and ultrasound just by touching Tara's belly. There was no way he was wrong. He couldn't be right either. Quickly my mind was trying to recall my last period to help me make sense of this. It was before the wedding. I just assumed I was stressed out. This may have been a reason for other women to worry but not me. For fuck sake my husband was a vampire. Eric was the only one I had been with. I was trying to come up with something anything. He waited for me to realize what he already knew. Then he let me go and I fell into my seat.

"I swear I haven't been with anyone but Eric" I was looking for someone to believe me because I knew no one else would. He nodded.

"They aren't all human" My cousin was staring at my midsection.

"Come" He reached for my hand that was on the table and signaled for me to get up. He remained seated. He rolled up my shirt over my midsection. He placed both his hands on either sides of my navel. He seemed to be in awe. "They are part vampire" Dermot and I both gave him a look that questioned his sanity. It sounded crass but I have been having sex with vampires a long time. Not worrying about contraceptives or diseases was one of the greatest bonuses next to the skill and stamina. All I could do was cry and my entire body shook. "Shh" It was the same noise people made when you were being loud at the movie theater or at the library. He gave me a look of censor. I cried harder. Exasperated he tucked the billowing curtain of dark hair behind his ear and pressed it to my stomach.

"Their heart beats are very slow"

I stopped my blubbering for the moment. "That's bad" I gathered. He pulled away and shook his head. "They seem to be healthy"

"They?" I was rather slow on the draw right now. He smiled and nodded.

"What I want to know is how" I straightened my shirt and returned to my seat not trusting my legs. "I don't know" I was close to tears. This was a dream it had to be. Then again not even in my wildest dream had I ever dared to dream this.

Claude and Dermot looked at each other and had a fairy version of the silent conversation vampires had. Only their faces didn't remain expressionless and they nodded at each other in the midst of this dialogue.

"Did anything happen when you saw my father?" I played one of the happiest days of my life in my head again.

My hands flew over my mouth. I was frozen that way for a few seconds. "He couldn't. He wouldn't" I finally replied.

"If anyone is able it is him" Claude shook his head and showed his normal self.

"This is what you get for not being materialistic" I didn't even have the energy to glare at him. "He probably offered you Tana hadin and you refused" I was confused.

Dermot clarified. "It loosely translates into great wish" What do you know Niall was like a genie after all. "He must have offered it as a wedding present" I shook my head insistently, both trying to clear it and disagree with their assumption.

"He said it was customary, that he had to give me something so I asked him to let Dermot back into Faery" Dermot looked so touched. He wanted to speak but appeared to be beyond words. He must have just assumed I was able to talk his father into forgiving him, as if I could talk a thousand year old fairy into anything.

"Let me get this straight" Claude looked beyond words too though I couldn't tell you why "Instead of asking for something you gave him something?" I thought about it and I guess I did. My cousin laughed. He tried to stop a few times but couldn't. He smacked the table once or twice as he chortled. He missed the death glares he was receiving from Dermot and I. "It would appear he returned the favor doubled" He sobered up some but there was still a smile on his face. Trust this asshole to find humor in the destruction of life as I knew it.

I was suddenly livid. Eric was no longer the king of highhandedness. That title now belonged with my great grandfather where it would forever remain. Niall had children that were half Fae. He knew the difficulties they faced. Did he not know the kind of danger he was putting us all in? He wasn't here to help and I had no idea how I was supposed to protect myself, Eric and our children.

"How could he?" I was looking at my hands in my lap as if it held all the answers to my problems.

"This could not have been possible if you had no desire to bare your husband children conscious or otherwise" Dermot's tone was placating. "As I have explained to you before giving gifts is a form of the deepest affection amongst our kind"

Claude nodded in accent. "Tana hadin is not done often or done lightly. Mostly because it is bound to nothing; no laws; not even the impossible. It requires the kind of power that very few possess. It is the greatest of gifts" my anger gave way to tears. I have been having mood swings like this for a while. It was nice to have them explained.

Claude had obviously tired of the water works. "Here eat something" He got up and served me some food. I thought I was too upset to eat but when my plate was in front of me I ate. I was still teary eyed and sniffling but I tucked in. They didn't say anything about it anymore. They talked to each other about trivial things. We were trying to ignore the elephant in the room; the pregnant elephant. I appreciated it. But I knew things like this didn't go away no matter how much you ignored it.

"Take a nap with us you will feel better" Dermot suggested. I was a bit weary. Suddenly I wished I hadn't come alone. I just couldn't fathom making the drive to Shreveport but I shook my head.

"Thanks but I have to get home" Where a very bizarre conversation was waiting for me. Claude blanched slightly.

"You aren't going to tell the vampire to his face. Are you?" He sounded faintly concerned.

"He will not harm her" Dermot said. Claude scoffed in a non verbal way to say bullshit.

"You two have been bedding vampires for too long" Dermot smiled. I frowned. "Think about it. He will jump to conclusions and she will lose her head" Dermot flinched. All of a sudden he didn't look so sure of his assessment that Eric wouldn't hurt me. Claude turned to me and began trying to convey reason. "Tell him over the phone. Lay low until your children are born then you will have your proof" He backtracked. "Obviously you can't stay here but you're smart you'll figure it out." Dermot actually took a swing at him for that one. He ducked effortlessly. "I don't need an angry vampire king beating down a path to my front door. Besides this is the first place he'll look" He had very valid points. It scared me. I had barely absorbed I was pregnant. I had no plans. Even if I was considering taking off I wouldn't burden them. On the other hand the self-centeredness of my fairy cousin was astounding.

"Thanks but I'm going home" I had to be sensible. I came with lojack. Where was I going to go that Eric couldn't follow?

"You are tired. Rest, then go home" Dermot was patting my hand. He looked worried. I agreed to ease his worries and because he was right. I was just exhausted. He led me into a spare bedroom. We lay together. The comfort that came from laying with him was not enough. With every passing second my fears seemed to grow.

"I don't know what I'm going to do" I always dreamed of being a mother. When I realized that vampires would never leave me alone I had laid that desire to rest. Obviously I hadn't buried it as much as I thought. There was so many other things going on around me. I had been caught in the crosshairs of so many fights. I have been beaten and bruised so many times I had lost count at this point. There was no way I could have a child with me in what was now my life. Any child I had would have a target on its back. Nothing about their lives would be normal or stable or safe.

The only reason Jason had never been used against me was because he was a were and they looked after their own. The other family I had were fairies. Then there was Hunter who was unknown. Claude was right but not for the reason he thought. I had to leave but I didn't know how to or where in the world I would go.

Dermot had been watching the emotions play since we laid sown. "You are going to run" He asked. A tear escaped my eye. I didn't want to. The idea hurt so much but the dangers I saw for my children here were astronomical. I saw no other way. "Will you tell him?" He already knew the answer. He nodded in understanding. "As your guardian I will accompany you in this. But as your guardian I must also say that this is wrong" This is the first time he has ever given me unsolicited advice. Usually he never seemed to care to offer his opinion one way or the other as long as I was safe. "My father would have never done this had he thought your vampire unworthy" His face was hard. He was definitely against this. I tried to remain strong and keep my crying silent as he said his piece. "You will take away his wife and rob him of his children in one blow" I began sobbing because I already knew I was wrong; that what I was thinking of doing was unforgivable but I was doing what I thought was best. "If you do this, you will break him"

So there you have it. The mystery behind the "motion sickness" What will happen next...? the viking POV...Thats what...

***Another big hoorah for Siberian Shewolf***

Like always let me know what your thoughts, feelings and predictions are.