OMG!

You guys are fired up! I feel like I have done a good job as a writer in being able to elicit this kind of emotion. On the other hand I am a little scared… ** ducks and runs and hides**

I wanted to answer a few questions that came up in reviews.

• "Her scent in relation to my own is that of a child's child" So yes Sookie's scent has changed but Eric attributes it their many blood exchanges as of late during their wild monkey sex.

• She can hide from him there are several means; (Cardinal paradox that was used to blind the Koválls in V&V, She is friends with a talented witch, Amelia plus Octavia owes her big! She also has her fairy uncle who can do all kinds of nifty tricks. She herself has been thought how to cloak…And remember when she uses magic it distorts the bond a bit)

With all that being said it was with great haste that I did this next update! Also with concerns for my safety ;)

Dedication for this chapter goes to Spike88. I am guessing "S" is for Sherlock because a lot of the theories and suspicions in your reviews have a propensity to be spot on…Well Spike88 this one's for you. Even if it may be your last one

Eric

Chapter Twelve

Impossible

It was odd to find that Sookie was not home when I woke at first dark. Gideon and I were preparing to drive to meet with Alcide. I had intended to inform her of the events that befell her shifter friend. I did not want to burden her last night. She was weary from all that she had witnessed and suffered. I felt it could wait until tonight because Sam was wounded severely but he survived. The name of the less fortunate were was Jenna Lynn. I have met her once. She was the long tooth packs enforcer. Alcide was furious. I felt the meeting would go smoother if Sookie was present. Her status with the pack was still high ranking. This situation required finesse.

I had been awake for an hour and she still wasn't home. Another half hour later she still hadn't returned. I called her phone and got no response. It was not surprising. I have never met someone so detached from their phone. She wasn't in danger or hurt. I couldn't say what she was feeling exactly. It was a combination of many things none of which was pleasant. I couldn't get a reading she was most likely asleep. Gideon was becoming fidgety. Things outside a charted course made him that way.

He was placing calls to her guards. He did not have to they were pulling in front of the house. I knew Sookie was not with them. This was wouldn't have particularly alarming if it was not after their scheduled hours. They remained with her during the day. Then at first dark she would be with me or another vampire in our court. It was why they were not present during the fight that occurred in Pam's home.

Upon taking this position I had instructed them to shadow her steps when she was not home. But they were also to do as she asked. If she did not want them to accompany her they would have no choice but to obey. Perhaps she wasn't going far nor would she be gone long. Chances are she was in Bon Temps or Monroe visiting kin. The smell of were was offensive to fairies. It would make sense for her to leave them here. I disliked that she did this occasionally but she did not make a habit of it. All my rationalizations did little to ease my concern. Her emotions had me feeling strangely off center.

Gideon answered the door before they knocked. "She's been gone all day" Ty said. I could smell the woods on his brother. He looked tired I would guess he had tracked her in his were form.

"We tracked her to Monroe with the usual fairy plus another dark haired one"

"I am aware" They nodded and I dismissed them.

I thought about what to do. She was unharmed there was no cause for alarm. Despite what I knew I was worried which was normal but I was also slightly agitated. Because I was beginning to wonder if this was proving to be too much for her. I wondered if she was becoming unhappy with me or the choice she had made. Sometimes she was so strong it was easy to forget that she was human. Yesterday had been hard. She may need time to just be. I would do what I could to settle the situation with the weres by myself.

We were moving through the streets of Shreveport nearly at our destination. The next phone call I received was the last I expected. It halted me in my tracks and sent me spiraling in the opposite direction.

I did not go idle as I blended into the night. This place was so familiar but I haven't had reason to be back at this house for months. I waited on the front porch of Sookie's former home. Many memories of us and the early stages of our relationship were here. I have been in love with her longer than I would care to admit. My mind was torn in so many different places because she was giving me reason to question her integrity. Instead of letting my mind roam down unpleasant trails I let everything except the night around fall away from it completely. Soon there was a shimmer in the air that disrupted the flat shadows in the space that surrounded me. My back was against the column at the top of the steps. I was facing the door. The fairy's back was to me and so was that of my wife.

Nothing could have told them that I would be here. The fairy was wearing an expression that indicated strain and something else that I could not identify. Sookie looked like hell. Her eyes were puffy and anyone could see she has been crying. The fairy means of transport did not agree with her and she appeared pale on that account. They were both frozen with eyes wide. The fairy I ignored with ease. Sookie was the target of my gaze. It was heavy and accusatory. It missed nothing and for the first time since I met her she wavered under the intensity of my glare.

"Anthony called" I began. Her face paled further and her heart beat accelerated. I was not accustomed to being the last to know things. In this instance it should never be so. Sookie was my wife. I trusted her with everything I had. As I looked at her I knew she was keeping something from me, something crucial. Whatever it was made her afraid. "He said I had to stop you. That you were going to do something that you couldn't take back. That it would get all of us killed" She flinched and cringed behind the back of the fairy. He tightened the hold he had on her arm to keep her up. Her tears began falling. I hated to see her tears. The urge to wrap my arm around her and comfort her was strong. I stood my ground. She was going to explain herself. She was going to do it now.

There was a rage building inside me. I just needed to know the exact cause. "Dermot I need to speak with my wife-alone" He was a warrior I knew that. We both knew he was no match for me. He did not have the sense to acknowledge defeat of an opponent that was beyond him. For Sookie I knew he would fight to the death. If he pushed me I would annihilate him here and now with no regard for the consequences from Sookie or Pam. It confused me that he looked relieved instead of hostile. He looked at Sookie and she nodded. He reached to open the door then he disappeared. Sookie walked into the house and I followed. My back was to the front door and she was in front of me. She looked worn it and tore at me but still I stood my ground.

"What was Anthony talking about?" I can say I have never used this tone with her before. She was getting a small glimpse of the reason people feared me.

"Eric" Her voice was small and almost pleading. It was so unlike her it left me feeling hollow. Sookie was combative, stubborn and bold no matter how detrimental to her welfare. I waved my hand for her to stop her preamble.

"Explain yourself this instant" She couldn't seem to find words another thing that was out of her character. I was in front of her and she was shrouded in my shadow. "Tell me!" I growled.

"I was going to leave" It took a lot longer than it should for her words to register. Did she think it was that easy? The consequences would be dire for my throne and my state. Beyond the political ramifications I could not be without her. We were bound too tight. It should have taken centuries but it has happened. We were halves of a whole. Neither half would allow one to fully live without the other. She has been more than happy as of late. It had nothing to do with the blood we shared. The first thing I felt when I woke was her yearning and anticipation of me. Every time I walked into a room I saw how her face lit up. I could feel how much she loved me. Neither of us could fool the bond we shared. We were happy. I put the width of the room of the room between us.

I was feeling a cluster of emotions. The most dominant of emotions after shock was pure unmitigated rage, twisted with piercing pain. I can honestly declare that I have never in all my years felt it's' like. No one could ever inflict this much pain on me. I had never allowed anyone to. The most primal part of me wanted to eradicate the cause of this tumult. Had it been someone else, anyone else that part of me would have won. Instead I remained frozen. My mind was spinning. I tried, but I couldn't grasp a coherent thought. She wanted to leave me. Then an even more painful and infuriating thought sunk into my consciousness.

"You were going to run" it carried to her ears but I was speaking to myself. There was madness on my tongue. I could taste it. It was clouding my vision and my head.

"I…"

This woman would unquestionably be my end. I lost control like I haven't in centuries. "How could you?" My hands were clenched in fists at my side. "Without so much as a note or phone call you were just going to loiter off like some hood" I was shouting and my right hand was already through a wall. I saw her cower from me but I did not feel her fear. The bond we shared was mine. My rage, in all its ferocity dominated it. "Do I mean so little to you?"

She shook her head and her body trembled with sobs. "No baby, no…" She was trying to continue speaking but couldn't.

"Do I not deserve better than this?" I have watched her run from everyone at the first sign of instability. I had once found it ironic that she had such great strength and courage but matters of the heart made her flappable. That was not how she treated me. She has stood by me from the day she became mine-always. Nothing about what I knew of her would indicate she was capable of such an act of callousness. I also felt betrayed and I could not understand any of this. It served to fuel my anger. I felt like I had been blinded by her. I saw only what I wanted to see I felt like a fool.

The wall closest to me was already reduced to ruin at my feet. It looked as though the slightest breath would topple it "If you would do this to me now, you were never mine to begin with" Anthony was right if I hadn't come we would have all died. In my stupidity I would have waged war in search of a woman that did not want me. Whomever I wrongfully accused would have hunted her and killed her. Damn the consequences she did not have to run. I was letting her go if that was what she desired.

I had to get out of here. This wasn't even the tip of my fury. I would rip this house to rubble with my bare hands with us still in it. Even as enraged as I was I did not want to harm a single hair in her head. I turned to leave.

"Eric, please stop" She crumpled to the floor. Her hands were wrapped around her knees.

"For what, there is nothing else to say" I knew that logically that was the case. A part of me; the part she awoken wanted an explanation; it wanted a chance to fix what was broken. I wanted to make her happy. I wanted her to stay. The anger I was feeling was attempting to smother those feelings. It succeeded and I walked away.

The woods that surrounded this home served as a channel for all that I was feeling. If Bill heard the commotion he did not come to investigate. It was rare that I used my full strength and speed tonight I unleashed it all. Small animals scurried for safety as I let myself get lost and given into nothing but the inherent predator I was. Tree after tree was reduced to mulch. My hands cut and bled and healed over and over again. The pain did not register as I trudged through this senseless task. Each time I used one tree to strike another it made a noise like thunder. It rang through the night and comforted me.

I did not know how long I had been lost. Now that the anger had been let out only the pain remained. I preferred anger. I looked at my hands as the last scratch healed.

"Eric" My child was standing just outside the clearing I had created. He had been there for some time. I had felt his urge to find me and his anxiety when he did. Gideon approached cautiously. He perched himself on a fallen tree. "What's going on?" I am ashamed to say tears escaped my eyes as I recanted for him the scene with Sookie. He was quiet thinking it over.

"She didn't say why" I shook my head.

"I did not ask" He was confused.

"We'll track her down and figure it out" the tone he used was one that begged an ultimatum. It said there had better be a good reason. I shook my head. I refused. I would suffer for the reminder of time before I lowered myself that much further. I should no longer have to chase after what was mine in every way imaginable. He was dissatisfied but did not press it "Fine let's get home" He knew I did not have the energy to fly. Our pace to the car was barely more than human.

It would have been senseless to go searching for Sookie because she was home when we arrived. Because now I no longer knew what she wanted I was both angry and happy to see her. I hated the insecurity she had created in me, in us. Had I not stopped her she would not be here. Worry was plain on her face when she took in my clothes. I walked past her. Though I knew he very much did not want to Gideon did the same. My faith in her had been shaken.

Sookie followed me up stairs and waited while I took a shower. I tried to ghost past her again. Rejection and hurt quickly turned to anger.

"Damn it Eric! You have all eternity to pretend I don't exist if you want but just give me a fucking minute" I stopped because this Sookie was familiar to me and I was weak. She also had a firm hold on my arm that would require excessive force to break. I did not turn and she began speaking to my back. Every muscle in my body was locked in placed in an attempt to keep from leaning into the contact. "Do you remember the night we got married?" I had no idea what that had to do with any of this. I was not at my finest analytical state at the moment. I simply nodded. "Do you remember Niall being there?" again I nodded. The smell of the fairy had been all over. It had made for sex that was in a class all its own. "He said he had to give me a gift. He said it was customary but I didn't know it was something more than just a favor" I turned to face her.

She had gotten herself wrapped in fairy mischief. "What was it?" She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. Her face was red and she looked like it was taking all her control to speak. I wanted to hold her but I was not calm enough yet.

"Tana-Hadin" My eyes widened. Her pronunciation was off but her meaning was clear. I was in awe. Humans had it wrong in thinking granting impossible wishes lay in the hands of a genie. Tana Hadin was the most coveted thing in the world of the supernatural. It was something vampires wanted from a Fae more than their blood. It could grant your deepest desire. It was given very rarely amongst themselves and never to a vampire for obvious reasons. While all this was intriguing it did not explain her intended actions.

She took a deep breath to bolster her resolve. "I didn't want to leave" Her bottom lip trembled but she bit down on it to keep from crying again. "I felt like I had no choice" Her fear was palpable. I did not understand her thinking at times. If she was threatened by anyone she should have come to me. My only guess was someone was being used against her or she was protecting me. I pulled her into my arms. She kept repeating her last sentence over and over. I felt guilty for having had that tantrum. I should have known there was something more to this than her simply wanting to walk away. Her grief was becoming all-consuming much like my rage past.

I sat her on the bed and fetched a glass of water. She needed to explain this in greater detail and she couldn't in her current state. She drank slowly. I held her and waited. Niall cared for her. I found it hard to believe that he would pose a direct threat. Perhaps he offered her the gift in exchange for something else. It did not matter. Anyone who dared to threaten her would surely rue the day. It took several minutes but he set her glass down and turned to me.

"I…I'm pregnant" I have never been so at loss.

"This is what you asked Niall for?" It was unlike her to do something like that without speaking to me. We have had one conversation about children. At the time I felt she was being reasonable about an emotional decision. She had expressed she desired them but her life was riddled with too many dangers due to her involvement in the world of the supernatural. I agreed. Even if that wasn't the case being with me was a sacrifice because a child was the one thing I could not give her. Nights when she watched over her nephew Hunter she would go to her former home to be with him. Nothing was ever said but during those nights I always felt a twinge of loss from her; as she bathe him or lay him down to rest. Those things gave her a different kind of joy. She was at age where women of this time bore children. That would never be her life.

"No" She shook her head morosely. "I asked him to let Dermot back home" It now made sense that she would run. With her worries of having a child and the unexpected nature she panicked. I was not angry with her anymore. She was had this insufferable tendency to think she was alone in things. It made me feel inadequate when she would hurt over something and seek comfort in her solitude or with someone else before she came to me. It annoyed me but in truth it was her survival mechanism. For a long time she was alone. She had been so accustomed to being able to count on herself she was still not accustomed to having me. She took care of herself or other people but rarely was it the other way around. It was why she fought me on her credit cards and expensive gifts till this day. She did not yet realize this quality did not make her stronger but it made us weaker.

"He said he was giving me something to ensure my future. I never thought…I would never have asked for twins no less" She was close to tears again. I held her face in my hands. I felt the opposite. If ever I had even the slightest chance to give her a child I would have. Any child we had would be magnificent. Despite the shock, uncertainty and anxiety of it all I knew she was happy. She was going to give me something I thought I would never have again. It would not be easy but I would make them safe.

We were lying in bed. She was tired and I just wanted to be where she was. She told me in more detail about a special gift of her fairy cousin. She would have remained oblivious if not for him. I had noticed a difference in her scent and mood but I attributed it to other causes knowing that she was with child explained a lot. Physically she still looked the same. Even as my hand rubbed her stomach I felt nothing. I kept it there regardless.

"Lover"

"Hmm"

"Never do that to me again" While I understood the thinking behind it, it did not change the pain it caused me and would continue to cause me had she followed through. She turned to face.

"I'm sorry and I swear I'll never do anything like that again" I kissed her head and held her face. She brought her hand over mine.

"Do not be afraid. Come what may I am with you always. Never forget it. Never doubt it"

Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief for the moment

So Spike88 Chapter twelve belongs to you!

I know the last chapter was hard on us all. Angst is as hard to write as it is read. I knew the direction I was going long before the story began but I felt Sookie had to learn a crucial lesson very early in the story. It is going to serve her very well in future chapters. So I hope you can all forgive Sookie. The me, myself and I way of thinking is very hard to break. I also had enjoyed Eric having a fit over the unfairness that he nearly suffered. It was something I had never done before. What did you guys think? Too scary? I also felt like Sookie may have forgotten the threat Pam made the day she got married. That shit wouldn't have gone over had she been present, No? I know her relationship with Gideon is gonna need some mending.