But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark, because in the dark there may be fear, but there's also hope.
-Ellen Pompeo
"Brooke!" There was banging at the door and I gulped. I wasn't ready to see him yet. I didn't know what to do or say. He wasn't going anywhere, I know him. He is so damn stubborn the very idea of giving up on something is foreign to him.
I paced in front of the door knowing he was on the other side of it. He kept banging, I kept pacing. I was chewing on my thumb nail and would occasionally glance up at the wooden door. I just need to get it over with.
I took a deep breath and swung the door open to see a very frustrated Lucas. The second I saw him the first thing that went through my mind was shit, I love him. My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, and I couldn't think of anything to say.
"Is there a reason that my girlfriend has avoided me for four days?" He growled and I got really interested in my shoes.
"I wouldn't say four days" I mumbled like a child.
"Yes, it has been four days. What the hell is your problem?" He hissed and I sighed looking at him.
"Nothing, I just was getting used to Easton being back and Bobby and-"
"Bullshit" He snapped glaring at me from the doorstep.
"I don't want to fight with you, Lucas" I told him honestly because I didn't. I just wanted to… love him I guess. Ugh, I am not going to get used to that.
"Why not? You love fighting with me" My heart skipped a beat at him muttering the word love. It also felt like I was punched in the stomach because he would never utter those words to me as an endearment. Only that I love pissing him off.
"Yeah, I guess I do" I looked around everywhere so I wasn't looking directly in his eyes.
"What's wrong with you?"
I looked at my hands and started to fiddle with them."I just feel like all we do is fight and sooner or later you are going to get tired of fighting and breaking up… you'll want a girl that can love you and make you happy. Not one that pisses you off and annoys you and… gets jealous over the smallest things. One who has money-"
"Pretty girl" He sighed and took my hands and I looked at our intertwined hands. "I'm happy"
"Yeah, but for how long, Lucas? You are going to get bored. Theresa's right, we can never stay faithful long" It hurt, like someone took a hold of my heart and squeezed until it popped just at the thought of him touching someone else.
"Baby, look at me" He held my chin and forced me to look at him.
"Tell me you haven't thought about it" I whispered.
"I haven't thought about it" he answered automatically. "Since the day I found you in my front yard… it has only been you" I was surprised, "I haven't thought, looked, or been with anyone else. I was too busy convincing your stubborn ass" He smiled and my heart started to pound. I love him.
"But don't you want someone who loves you and doesn't hate you half of the time?"
"Love?" He asked with wide eyes.
"Hypothetically, dumbass" I muttered and he let out a breath. Is loving me that awful?
"Oh" He looked relived. Well that is a blow to the ego, "You need to stop thinking of all the bad things, pretty girl. It's just me and you. It has been for a while" He leaned his forehead against mine and I nodded.
"Stop thinking?" I questioned and he nodded leaning in give me a lingering kiss. I love his kisses. There are times when they are soft and gentle, than other times it is rough and desperate. I never understand the desperate side, I wont be leaving him unless he wants me to.
He started to pull me up the stairs when I felt my phone ringing in my pocket and he groaned. "Radar" he grumbled going the rest of the way up the stairs leaving me to answer my phone.
"Hello?"
"He's cheating on me" Grey told me with a shaky voice. It surprises me how we can talk to each other like no time has passed.
"Why do say that?" I asked sitting on the steps.
"I don't know B… its just I think the whole everyone knowing has freaked him out. I mean I keep walking in on him being on the phone and hangin up quickly and is always really nervous around me like he is hiding something" I heard let out what sounded like a sob.
"Have you talked to him?" I asked knowing Beck would never cheat on her. He wants to marry her.
"I'm afraid of what his answer will be" She cried.
"Talk to him, Grey. Where is he?" I asked and she told me in the living room. "Take the phone to him, right now" I snapped and she cried an okay.
"Baby, whats wrong?" I heard Beck ask frantically and I heard her mumble something and thrust the phone at him.
"Why is she crying?" Beck asked furious.
"Because she thinks you are cheating on her. You dumbass, who have you been calling?" I yelled at him.
"your mom" He mumbled and I rolled me eyes.
"What has taken you so long? Ask her, she thinks you are hising something from her. So hang up the phone and ask her to be your wife. I swear if I do not get a call from her in the next thirty minutes with her ecstatic I will call up every media place or whatever you celebrities are scared of and tell them so many lies that you will never be able to show your face in Hollywood again" I growled hanging up on him.
"You okay, pretty girl" I heard Lucas and saw him standing out my room. I smiled and made my way to him.
"Yeah, Grey's boyfriend is just stupid. Were good now" I started to go into my room when he pulled me back.
"We should go out" He pulled me towards the stairs.
"Why?" I scrunched my eyebrows.
"Cause I haven't seen you in four days and I want to hang out with you" He grinned at me and I smiled.
"Okay, where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see"
I feel like I am always blushing around Lucas. We are driving somewhere- he still hasn't told me where- and I am curled up on the seat playing with his hand and I just feel flushed. I don't like that he can do that to me, but he does. Everything I see makes me think of Lucas and every time I think Lucas, I smile and feel flushed and it is annoying but I like that I have someone can do that to me. I just wish I did the same to him.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked cutting his eyes over at me.
"You" poured out of my mouth and felt my cheeks heat from embarrassment.
"As long as it some other tool" He smirked.
"Trust me, you are the only tool I think about" I smiled kissing his hand.
"I should be offended" He laughed pulling into a parking spot and I looked around.
"Seriously, where are we?"
"Nathan told me you have a bucket list" He told me and I looked on confused.
"Well, number one is tattoo. So here we are" He pointed and I looked to see we were at a tattoo parlor.
"You do know I am not dying right?" I laughed as we went in.
"The world could end tomorrow" He grinned, "What do you want?" He asked.
"I want a tattoo" Grey told me as we walked around the mall.
"What do you want?" I asked and she shrugged.
"Something that reminds me of us, you know" She smiled and I laughed.
"Were would you get?"
"Right here" She pointed to her hip bone, "Only my husband would see it"
"Sounds good. Ill do it too" I smiled and she squealed.
"So when you are eighteen?" She asked and I nodded.
I went up to the man behind the counter who was older and had tattoos all up and down his arms, "Do you have tattoos celebrtities have?" I asked and the man rolled his eyes handing me the binder.
"Thank you" I quickly went through the pages and my heart stopped when I saw what she had, "Sir, I have a question. What does this mean?"
"Honestly, I don't think Grey Simon's tattooist knew what they were doing because that Chinese symbol means elder sister" He told me and I smiled looking over my shoulder at Lucas who was looking through the books.
"Can I have a sketch of what little sister would look like? My big sister said Grey Simon's was what she got and wanted me to get a matching one" I told him convincingly.
"Whered your sister go?" He asked acting a lot nicer than earlier.
"Umm... it was like Uncle Freddie's I think" I smiled.
"Oh, I heard of that, they changed there name about a month ago" He said.
"That's why we couldn't find it" I said jerking my thumb over my shoulder at Lucas.
"Yeah, so this is what it would like" He handed me the wax paper and I grinned at it.
"This is perfect. Could I get this right here?" I pointed at the back of my neck where my hair line was and he nodded and motioned me to the chair which Lucas noticed and walked up to held my hand.
Oh god, this is going to hurt.
It took only an hour for my tattoo and I was right, it hurt like hell. It was a small tattoo so it was quick but it definitely wasn't painless. Lucas will probably forever have scars on his arm from where I dug my nails into his skin.
It looked perfect and I wished Grey was here to see it. I got a call from her halfway through it so I had to send it to voicemail and was just now calling her back.
"Grey, sorry I didn't answer. I was getting a tattoo" I told her and she squealed.
"Brookie! I'm getting married!" She practically yelled and I laughed.
"Howd he do it?" I asked.
"Well, we were fighting because I thought you know he was cheating on me and he tossed the box to me, and said you're right I am cheating on you. Then he left and oh my god… I couldn't believe it. So I ran after to him and he said I was a subborn pain in his ass and he wanted to marry me! I'm getting married!" She squealed again and I rolled me eyes.
"I am so happy for you" I grinned.
"What's your tattoo look like?"
"Opposite of yours" I shrugged even though she couldn't see it.
"You got the sister tattoo?" She seemed surprised.
"You got yours. I'm returning the favor." Lucas looked at me and I smiled giving him a small kiss.
"This is the best day ever" She said loudly with a giggle and I once again rolled my eyes at her.
"Alright, Grey. Have a wonderful wedding" I didn't mean it to sound how it did but she instantly stopped laughing.
"You wouldn't come?"
"No offense Grey, you said I don't exist. People would find it weird if your family shows up… get one of your friends to put it together-"
"you're my friend" She pouted and I sighed.
"Grey, you are a celebrity. You cant have a simple private wedding that no one knows about" I tried to explain.
"But I want my family there" She whimpered.
"You will have Devon"
"But I want you"
"Then come home, Grey" I tried to plead.
"I can't… I'm sorry I cant, not right now."
"Grey, if you don't come home, I will come there. You don't want me there because it raises questions so just come home for a weekend so we can actually meet the man you are marrying and see Devon." I snapped at her like I was the older sister.
"Ill think about it, but I cant make any promises."
"come home and tell us what it is holding you back. We wont judge… not like we really can" I grumbled near the end and let out a raspy laugh.
"Ill talk to Devon, okay?" I said okay and she hung up and Lucas laid on the hood of his car waiting for me.
"What was she saying?"
"Shes getting married" I shrugged and he said it was great, "Yeah, I have a question"
"Okay…"
"Can we go see your sister?" I asked and his face lit up.
"Well, of course."
"I'm going to go talk to the doctor" Lucas told me just like he always did and left me alone with the little brunette.
"Hey Snow" I smiled sitting next to her and I rested my chin on my arms that resided on the edge of her bed.
"I'm in love with him…" I told her and wished she would tell me what to do. "I've only told Bobby, my nephew. I don't what to do, Snow. I mean, he is your brother, you know how he is. What about me would he love?" I watched her little chest rise and fall and I sighed. "Yeah, nothing. I'm not part of his world, I still don't know why he has stayed around so long" I paused and started to play with her small fingers, "Maybe I can just forget about him. Yeah, I know you cant forget Lucas Scott, but Snow I'm scared. What if he doesn't love me back?" I asked like a scared little kid, "I cant handle Lucas not wanting me and wanting to be with me"
I heard the door open and turned quickly to see Lucas standing there. "What are you guys talking about?" He asked and I let out a huge breath of relief.
"Girl stuff. I was telling her about all the big time hotties" I smirked.
"Hell no" He replied and I rolled my eyes standing up.
"That stays between us Snow" I told her kissing her forehead and leaving the siblings by themselves.
I sat in the waiting room next to an old woman who looked like she had been crying. "Who are you waiting for?" She asked me.
"My boyfriend. He is with his little sister" I told her and she nodded in understanding, "You?"
"My husband. We have been married for sixty years. I met him when I was eight years old" She told me and my eyes widened.
"That's a long time" I smiled.
"It is, and every day I fall in love with him. I hated him for the longest time but he had this charm that when I turned sixteen I was like wow, maybe he isn't so bad. We married when I was eighteen, he was twenty. Six children, fifteen grandchildren, and seven great grandchildren and this morning I wake up and he doesn't." She sighed and I was speechless, "How long have you and…"
"Lucas" I told her.
"Lucas been together?"
"Going on two months" I told her and she smiled.
"At two months, me and my husband had broken up seven times" She laughed and I joined.
"Lucas and I break up everyday" I told her embarrassed.
"Those are the best kind I always thought. It makes you realize what your losing when you see their back heading towards the door" She got a faraway look in her eye.
"What's wrong with him?" I asked and she turned her stare on me.
"He was old. And he just went to sleep" She sighed.
"I'm sorry" I said with sadness.
"You know, I wondered why they took him first. I think its because they knew he couldn't do it without me"
"What do you mean?" I asked with a confused look.
"Out of all the times we broke up in all our years, he never was the one to do it. Not once, did he leave me and when I tried he would grab me and hold me telling me I was idiotic" She took a tissue and dabbed her eyes. "The man always knows first. The man is always the one to realize that him and his woman should be together. Always the first to realize they are forever. That is why it is so easy for men to say no and break up with women cause they know when it is the real thing. The man always knows, and my Tyree knew I would be okay" She smiled patting my leg.
"I like that name… Tyree" I told her.
"So do I." She stood up when a group of people walked in.
"My name is Brooke" I told her and she turned to face me.
"Charlotte" She responded leaving me alone and I smiled.
"Who was that?" Lucas asked walking in from the hallway.
"Charlotte" I replied and he scrunched his eyebrows.
"Don't worry about it, babe. You have fun with Snow?" I asked as he took my hand and he nodded.
"Yeah, I talked to her about mom, dad, you" He listed off.
"Me?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Always you" He shrugged walking to his car leaving my heart racing.
Maybe he does love me. I feel like a school girl with a crush. God, this is my boyfriend, I need to stop questioning everything. He probably knows how I feel/
Damn Charlotte, I hope you are right.
Shorter than usual, but I didn't want write too much.