Chapter 30: Weight

With nothing to do but homework and study, the rest of the holidays went fairly slowly. The small group of Gryffindor seventh years, fell into a daily routine: Their days were spent in library and their nights in James' room, pouring over books, taking notes or (in the case of Peter) copying notes from either Lily or Remus.

Marlene seemed to have a better grasp of her emotions and although she didn't say much, when she did she almost seemed to be herself.

After having that talk with McGonagall and Dumbledore, she felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She was eighteen and had no idea, how to organise what needed to be done, she knew she had to be strong but every time she tried to think of the future, she just ended up in tears.

When Dumbledore offered to get things sorted for her, she felt so much better. She still felt grief and anger from what had happened but now, with the weight of future arrangements off her, she could concentrate on getting those emotions in check and putting on a brave face.

There was still something missing. Even though her friends had been great, they had provided so much comfort and support, they were only guessing what she had been through. James was the only one who had an idea of what she was feeling, but she couldn't get him on his own.

It was partly the fact that she didn't want to talk to him, but she hated the fact that he could be suffering as she was. James and Marlene had been friends for years, their parents had all been at school together - and although Charlus and Michael had been two years older, they had all been friends.

That friendship had been passed down to James and Marlene. Although they separated at Hogwarts (James with the boys and Marlene with Lily and Severus) they still remained friends at the level of siblings. It was with James, Marlene wanted to speak to. The young man she had, when she was younger, called him little brother.

It was New Year's Eve when Marlene finally got around to talking with James. She went down to breakfast after everyone else and found the five of them sitting at the top end of the table. James and Lily were sitting on one side of the table, whilst the others were opposite them. Walking up in the gap between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables, she gave Sirius a good morning peck on the cheek before walking round the top of the table and sliding in next to James.

Lily leaned round James and offered Marlene an apple from the bowl, but Marlene shook her head.

"No thanks, I think I'll skip breakfast today, not feeling that well." That was true at least, she had spent the better half of the morning in the bathroom. (Much to Mary and Rebecca's disgust.)

Lily looked at her concerned and Remus leaned over the table to put a hand on Marlene's forehead.

Marlene smiled. "I think I'm just tired." She added when Sirius made to get up and check up on her.

He sat back down, and pinched his toast back of Peter's plate. (Peter had nicked it when Sirius had started getting up.)

James looked at her. "Are you sure you're all right? You look paler then Moony."

Marlene nodded and gave Remus a sympathetic smile, he did look rather pale and according to her diary the full moon was tomorrow. Turning to James, she gave him a serious gaze. "Can I speak to you?"

James placed his spoon on the table and nodded. "Sure, what's up?"

She glanced around the hall. Mary, Rebecca, Hester and Lester were sitting at the other end of the Gryffindor table, Mason was sitting with two Ravenclaw boys at their table, there were no Slytherins and a few Ravenclaws. The staff table was pretty empty as well, Slughorn and Flitwick were talking animatedly and Edgeworth was nodding passionately to something Quirrel was saying. "I'll let you finish. I'll meet you in your room in about five minutes?"

James nodded and watched confusedly as she got up and went to leave the table.

Upon passing her, Lily reached out and grabbed her hand. Pulling her down she whispered in her ear. "You sure it's just tiredness?" Marlene nodded and made the effort of stifling a yawn. "I'm sure Madam Promfry will be able to whip something up if you need it."

Marlene nodded, "Thanks Lils, after I've spoken to James I was going to charm the dorm and go back to bed."

"Use mine, the charms are already in place, I was going to spend the day in the library anyway."

"You sure?" Lily nodded. "Thanks." Marlene smiled and gave her friend a quick hug.

"If you're feeling sick, you need something to line your stomach." Sirius said looking worriedly at her.

Marlene scowled and plucked a bread roll of a plate in the centre. "Bread, best lining there is."

She purposely pulled off a piece of the bread and popped it in her mouth. Fixing a smile she turned and walked out of the hall.

As she swallowed, she felt the familiar wave of nausea hit her and she stopped to wait for it to pass. Unfortunately she wasn't alone.

"Are you all right Miss McKinnon?" Professor McGonagall asked. She and Professor Dumbledore had just emerged from the staff room.

Marlene nodded. "Just tiredness. I'm going back to bed."

Dumbledore nodded. "We were actually coming to see you." He held out a small envelope that was addressed to her in Martyn's tiny script.

"It's the details of the funeral and all the arrangements. He sent me a copy as well."

Marlene took the envelope and placed it her pocket. "Thank you Professor."

"Your welcome my dear. Have a nice sleep, you looking as pale as Mr Lupin." His eyes twinkled when Marlene broke into a genuine smile.

Marlene

Mother and Fathers funeral has been arranged for the 3rd January. It would have been sooner if not for the holidays. I have also taken the liberty of talking to the bank and have organised for the will to be read out the same day.

I understand this is taking you out of your classes but I have written another letter to Professor Dumbledore explaining the circumstances and I hope that he will let you, James Potter and the red-headed Muggle-born (her name has escaped me, but she's that Gryffindor you are friendly with and who our parents had taken a liking to) attend the funeral and then you and I will go to the will reading alone.

If you are worried about my friends then don't worry I have asked them not to show up. After the will reading could we talk? I know I am probably the last person you want to talk to but there are things I have to explain.

I will see you on Tuesday.

Martyn

Sighing Marlene put the letter back into her pocket. It could have been worse. Least Martyn had the decency to allow James and Lily to accompany her. She could understand not wanting Sirius to go, he didn't know her parents as much as James and Lily did.

Just as she had tucked the letter away, James walked through and locked the door activating the privacy charms.

"So." He said sitting on the sofa next to her and pulling her into a hug. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"How are you? I mean you've known my parents for years. We've been on the mainland for fourteen years, fifteen in June. I just want to know how you are?"

James shrugged. "I'm fine, I mean it was a huge shock and all and I will miss them, but I worried about my father, he took the news really hard. After my mother's death he sort of became a recluse only Michael could talk to him, and now... well..." James trailed off and picked at the zip on the cushion cover. "Have you er... spoken to your brother about..." He stared awkwardly across the room.

Marlene seemed to know what he was thinking. "Tuesday, Dumbledore's given us permission to leave. You'll be gone for the morning and I'll be gone most the day."

"Who?"

"Me, you and Lily. Sirius, Remus and Peter don't know them as well as you guys have done."

"How are you? Really?"

Marlene sighed. "I've been better, I'm not sleeping right and well I'm just struggling. How did you cope?"

"When mother died?" Marlene nodded in confirmation. "I didn't to begin with, then you guys arrived and everything felt so much better, like a huge weight had..."

" - been lifted." Marlene finished, smiling.

James nodded. "I know you don't like talking about your feelings, but that's what we're here for, no matter how boring and trivial you think it is. We're hear to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on."

"Thanks little bro." James scowled.

"I'm taller than you."

"Still younger." Marlene laughed but gave him a hug all the same.

"As your little brother can I give you some advice?" Marlene nodded. "Get some sleep, you look ready to drop any minute."

Marlene smirked and kissed him on the cheek before leaving the room.

After a quick nap Marlene woke up absolutely starved. Looking at her watch she realised she had woken up in time for lunch. She changed and headed into the common room. It was empty and a quick look in James' room told her that everyone was down at lunch.

"Morning!" She chirped, sliding into the empty space in between Peter and Sirius.

"Or afternoon." Remus said as they watched her pile sandwiches onto her plate. "Hungry?" He added.

"Starved." Marlene confirmed and smiled around the table. "That sleep did me wonders, it's great. I don't feel sick any more either."

"Great!" Sirius exclaimed and pulled her into a hug. "You're certainly looking more refreshed."

"I must say Lils, your bed is well comfy. That's favouritism that is, giving the Head Boy and Head Girl the comfiest beds."

James looked confused. "My bed feels the same as my old one."

Lily smiled. "I've been using cushioning charms for years."

Marlene snapped her fingers. "That's genius that is."

Lily laughed and leaned across the table to grab her friends hands. "It's good to have you back."

Marlene put on a mock look of confusion, "I never went anywhere."

Sirius just laughed and pulled her into a loving kiss.

A/N: Thanks for your reviews and adds to various lists :D Just a small note on the ages of James and Marlene's parents.

According to J.K. Rowling's "House of Black" Tapestry, Dorea Potter Nee Black was born in 1920 and died in 1977. I used this for Marlene's mum as well. I dug myself into a hole in chapter 6 as McGonagall said her first year teaching was Joanne's seventh year... that would make Joanne 38 when she died and if Michael is 59 then that's a pretty big age gap, so I've changed McGonagall's line in that chapter to say that she was five years younger than Joanne and Dorea. It also helps the story flow and lets you guys know why Marlene's family and James' family were so close :) Hope that made sense