Hey guys! I'll be gone for a while because we're going out of town. I'll probably be updating next week...
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Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.
The Truth
Chapter 15 –This is Love
If you could be anywhere that you wanted to be
With anyone that you wanted to be with
Do anything that you wanted to do
What would it be and who would it be with you
Time flies but you're the pilot
It moves real fast but you're the driver
You may crash and burn sometimes
This is why we do it this is worth the pain
This is where we bow down get back up again
This is where the heart lies this is from above
Love is this, this is love ...
When we were done cleaning up the gift wrappers, we retreated to our respective guest rooms.
I'm glad that I brought my portable dvd player with me.
I placed there cd that Edward gave me.
The cd played...
"My love, this cd contains the music that I have created for you. I hope you'll like them. The first track that will play is the song that I wrote when we first met. The sadness that I saw in your eyes and the longing in your voice were my main inspiration. This is also the thing that I hum to you before you sleep. This is called, Bella's lullaby."
His voice was very velvety. I feel like I'm floating in clouds.
Then the music started to play.
It is really the song that he hums me whenever I can't sleep.
It's kinda different now because it is played in a piano. It's a bit haunting and depressing at first, but in the end it changed a bit. There is a little hint of joy and happiness.
Seven more songs played. Edward narrates first his inspiration for the song before the music plays.
My favorites so far are Bella's lullaby and My Forever Love.
I prepared for bed and then I played the cd again.
At exactly 4am I laid on my bed.
A smile was still planted on my face as I drifted to sleep with my lullaby playing on the background.
...
The next morning I woke up with my roaring cell.
I picked it up without even looking who it was.
I'm pretty sure it is the pixie. Only she does this.
"Alice, it's too early for shopping," I groaned weakly.
But I was shock because I heard a manly chuckle.
"Love, it will be better if you'll greet me good afternoon," he said in his warm velvet voice.
Looked at the wall clock on the room. It's already two in the afternoon. I blushed. I have already missed breakfast, and well—lunch.
"Sorry, I thought it was Alice. Thanks for your gift, it was wonderful," I mumbled on the phone.
"Thanks too. I'll have something to make more music for you. You know, you are the best inspiration that I have ever had. Every time I see you, I want to make something new."
A tear escaped from my eye.
"Let's just talk later? I'll just do my personal necessities," I said softly.
"Um, 'kay. Bye, love you."
"Love you too, Merry Christmas!"
I hung the phone.
Nobody even woke me up to tell me that I have missed breakfast or lunch. I know that if Edward didn't call me, I'll still be sleeping, and I wouldn't be up yet.
I rushed into the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. Then I went back to my room to change my clothes and to dry my hair. I changed into a gray sweater dress and black leggings that Alice got me during our shopping trips. I slipped on my silver flats, brushed my hair, and finally, I went downstairs.
I found all of them, except from Edward in the living room. Looks like they are watching an old movie.
Esme quickly noticed me.
"Bella, you're up. You missed lunch and breakfast. Do you want me to prepare food for you?" She asked thoughtfully.
"Thanks, but I think I'll just make it on my own. May I borrow your kitchen for a while?" I said shyly.
"It's fine dear. Help yourself with everything you need. Feel free to use anything in the kitchen."
"Thanks."
Before going to the kitchen, I went to Alice's side.
"Where's Edward?"I whispered to her.
"He's still in his room. Maybe he's still sleeping," she whispered back.
"Thanks."
She nodded.
I walked out of the living room, and then I headed to the kitchen to cook food.
I got eggs and bacon from the fridge. I fried them. After frying, I made fried rice.
I got everything ready in the dining room. I placed two plates, two glassed, two pairs of spoon and fork, the food, and the orange juice.
But before eating, I headed to Edward's room so I could ask him to eat with me.
When I got there, I didn't even knock. I just opened the room. I saw him sitting in the couch while playing with the strings of a guitar.
"Want some breakfast lunch?" I asked playfully.
No answer.
"Edward?"
Still no answer.
"Hey Edward? Are you okay?" I asked worriedly.
"Uh, I'm fine. I was just thinking of something—well someone." He answered faintly.
Who could he be thinking? He looks sad, isn't he should be happy because it's Christmas?
"Who is it?" I sat beside him.
He rested his head on my shoulder as he spoke. "Elaine, my sister. I can't visit her today like I used to do every Christmas. Her grave is in Alaska. It's obvious that I can't go there now. It's so far."
I held his hand and I intertwined his fingers with mine. He closed his eyes; his face is full of pain and anxiety.
I rubbed his back, trying to calm and soothe him. I kissed his cheek, and his face softens.
"I'm visiting my mom today; do you want to come with me?" I offered.
"Sure," he said weakly.
"Let's eat our breakfast lunch first." I smiled cheerfully at him.
So with that we walked hand in hand to the dining room.
After we ate, I asked dad if he would allow me and Edward to go to the cemetery.
Dad didn't allow us at first because he said that there will be a snowstorm tonight.
But we promised that we'll go home early and with too much pleading, he allowed us.
We are now inside Edward's Volvo.
He is still not talking that much and I don't like it.
He started the engine and then he started driving.
He drove like a speed maniac as usual. I'm actually pretty used to it. I don't feel like throwing up anymore whenever he is driving this fast.
Ten minutes later, we are in the Forks Cemetery.
We are still filled with silence as I guide him to the very familiar path to me. A cold breeze swept, I shivered, and I tugged tightly on my coat.
Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulder when he saw that I shivered. He always knows what to do. I gave him a thankful smile. He returned a crooked smile to me.
After a few more minutes, we are finally in front of mom's grave. I got three white candles from the paper bag that I am holding.
Edward helped me place the candles in front of the tombstone. He also lit it.
I looked down at my mom's tombstone.
I smiled, but a traitor tear escaped from my eye.
"Mom, this is Edward," I pointed at Edward. "He is the guy who makes me so, so happy. I know if you are still here, you will also like him. He is exactly the guy that you want me to be with. Remember when you said that you want me to be with a guy who is a gentleman, kind, and loving. He is that guy mom. I love him mom. He is the son of the woman who loves me and dad so much. Dad still doesn't know about us, but I promise that I'll tell him in the right time. I know you'll be happy for me. I really, really miss you mom. I love you."
I looked at Edward; he was focused on what I was doing in front of my mom's grave. I saw tears pooling in his eyes.
He knelt down in front of the tombstone; he cleared his throat before speaking. "Mrs. Swan, I want to thank you for bringing Bella to my life. I love her so much, and I promise that I will never do anything to upset her. I'll always be here for her; I will never leave her side even whatever happens. She is the best thing that's ever happened to my life." Emotions were very visible in his voice as he speaks. I know that he meant every word that he said.
Edward stood up, and he shoved the snow that's on his pants. When he's done, I grabbed his hand, and I gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.
Before going, I left mom a box of her favorite chocolates.
It also started raining snow. I know many people here in town are not enjoying Christmas outdoor. This storm is not a surprise though. It always rains and storms here. But now it's just the ice that's falling.
"Let's be quick, before it snows hard. It will be hard to drive," Edward said immediately.
We walked briskly even though it is hard to walk in the carpet of snow on the ground.
Looks like The Bad came right now. We are so dead.
Edward's Volvo is missing, and it is raining snow that will eventually lead to a storm.
I looked at Edward, and I shivered at the cold air. It is still cold even if I'm wearing layers of clothes.
"We can't make it home," Edward himself, declared.
"I know," I agreed. "But where are we going to stay? We are going to get hypothermia here."
"The Chapel?" He suggested and pointed at the small white structure behind us.
"Guess we have no choice," I said hopelessly.
We walked towards the chapel, when we got there he found out that the doors are unlocked so we welcomed ourselves inside. Of course there will be no people here in this weather.
"I think we should stay in the attic. I heard that the caretaker lives there. I heard that he is not here. I heard that he went to his province for Christmas. There must be a fireplace there."
"You're a gossip girl."
"Shut up," I rolled my eyes playfully.
We retread to the attic without knowing what's ahead of us.
…
We're lucky that the attic wasn't that dusty. There's a fire place, extra sheets, a mattress and electricity. That means there is light.
Edward is lighting up the fire place and I am placing the bed sheet on the mattress on the hardwood floor.
When we were done with our business, we cuddled up inside a blanket on the mattress.
"Edward, I'm scared. I don't know what will happen to us here," I admitted.
He hugged me tightly.
"You don't need to be scared. I'm here, I'll protect you. You are my life now, Bella. I won't let anything happen to you. I love you, and I will never be tired of saying it and expressing it," he said sincerely.
He's been too expressive lately. As if he was going away. As if he is savoring his moments with me.
"Edward, is there anything wrong? Is there something that is bothering you? Please tell me, I'm so worried." I looked at him pleadingly.
"College," he mumbled.
"What about college?"
"Don't you understand? I'm leaving in a few months. I don't want to be away from you, I don't know if I can." His pained face made me feel guilty.
"Edward, where are you planning to study?"
"Harvard, mom wants me to go there."
"It's pretty far."
"I know maybe I'll just wait a year so that we can go together."
I slightly pulled away from him.
"No, it's not just reasonable. I don't even know if I'll get accepted there. You have to make your dreams co—"
"It's my mom's choice, not mine. If I had my way, I will just apply at the nearest college here."
"But it will be worth it if you study there. You know, better education background for your awaiting career."
"But I can't live my dream without you."
"We will make it work. It will work, I promise."
I cuddled with him again, and he nuzzled his face to my hair.
Even if we are not lying on the softest bed, it feels so comfortable here. His warmth and presence is enough for me to feel safe and comfortable
I heard his stomach grumble.
"Oh, somebody's hungry," I said playfully.
He chuckled.
"I have sandwich inside my paper bag, want some?" I offered.
"Why did you bring sandwiches here at the cemetery?" Confusion was spread all over his beautiful face.
I can't answer this though. I also don't know why I made and brought them. I just feel like I have too. I thought we would be hungry while we are on our way. I'm glad I made it; the both of us won't starve.
"I thought we would be hungry on our way," I said innocently.
He seemed to believe it. For the first place, can he think of another reason why?
I grabbed my paper bag and brought it near us.
I got two sandwiches. One for me and one for him. I also have two bottles of water.
"Are you worried about your car?" I asked.
His face expression changed again.
"Yes, of course, it is the first car that I got from my dad. But what can I do now, somebody stole it. But maybe Carlisle and Charlie can track it. I just hope so. And oh, have you tried calling them? My phone is left in the car."
I totally forgot about that. I grabbed my cell from my pocket. I was dreaded when I found out that there is no signal. I wouldn't be able to call dad.
"No signal." I faced my phone to him.
Edward's face dropped.
"Looks like we have to stay here all night," he declared.
We ate and drank. When we were contented, we snuggled back to the mattress.
"Maybe we can enjoy some alone time here," I suggested.
He chuckled softly.
"Maybe?" He smiled innocently.
"You know I hate uncertain answers."
"Okay, fine. I'm sure I'll enjoy it too." He smiled crookedly.
I attacked his lips with mine.
We kissed gently and softly, but it is enough to take my breath away. It is enough to make my heart beat erratic and feel butterflies in my stomach.
"I missed this," he whispered.
I kissed him again.
"Me too," I agreed.
He pulled me even closer to him, and he kissed me.
This time it was deeper, rougher and needier.
I can feel his hands all over me, and I think mine to his.
I admit that this way, I forget the problem that we are facing now. I don't feel scared or vulnerable anymore. I feel happy, fulfilled, and of course, loved.
This is the weirdest Christmas that I have ever had, but this is the best. For the first time in my life, I feel like I can breathe again. I feel like I can smile now without faking it. I can be happy without faking it. Thanks to Edward, I've finally found my sanctuary.
We are still blissful even if we have already pulled away from each other.
"I love you," I said, still gasping for air.
"I love you more than my own life," he said sincerely.
His words scare me and thrilled me at the same time. I really, really feel secure around him. It's like there are no secrets, lies and doubts when I'm with him. There are still a million things that I can use to describe how it feels to be with him, and how it feels to be loved by him. He is the only person in this world who has ever made me feel like this.
After a few more chaste and stolen kissed, we fell asleep.
The song is This is Love by The Script (I think they just had their concert here.)
Sorry for the errors ...
I know, most of my chapters end when they fall asleep...but that's how you end the day, isn't?
To the SE Asian people there, have a fun summer :)
Thanks for reading! REMEMBER to review :)
-ishi :)