Chapter 40: Reason
Reason (noun) - a cause, explanation, or justification for an action or event. The power of the mind to think, understand, and form judgments by a process of logic. (Verb) - think, understand, and form judgments by a process of logic.
Regulus couldn't believe it. How hard was it to find one Gryffindor seventh year when there were only about eight of them to begin with. He started in all the usual places, the library, the study hall, the great hall. But she was nowhere to be found. He couldn't find his brother or any of his annoying friends either for that matter.
There were roughly about a hundred seventh years, eight of them had currently disappeared off the face of the earth. No wait six of them, for Regulus had just spotted two of them seated at the Hufflepuff table talking to some male twins.
Shaking his head at the lengths he would go to just so he could talk to a girl, he swept his dark hair out of his eyes and walked up to the two Gryffindors amidst a sea of Hufflepuff and the random Ravenclaw.
"Any of you seen McKinnon?" he asked, ignoring the dubious glares he was getting from the majority of the hall. The two girls looked up at him startled. Their companions looked at him as if he was the last to know something everyone else did.
"Marlene is with James, at his fathers funeral." one of them said, she had a scottish accent and Regulus remembered her to be Mary.
Regulus nodded slowly, there had been talk of the poor Potter boy and how he and Marlene hadn't returned from Hogsmeade at the weekend. It would certainly explain why Marlene missed Sunday. Come to think of it he hadn't seen them since Friday dinner time, it was now Wednesday dinner time. Mary and her friend had turned back to their boyfriends, talking in low voices and glancing ever so slyly up at Regulus from under their hair, which had conveniently fallen to hide their faces. Sighing and knowing from experience that he was no more wanted there than a Hippogriff on a rampage, Regulus walked back to his table, only to be met with glares from his class mates.
"You're acting weird mate, what made you talk to the Gryffindors?" Mulciber asked gnawing on a chicken leg. Regulus looked at his fellow Slytherins and shook his head at the disgusting way in which they were eating. He didn't answer instead he took a leg from the plate in the middle of the table, and used his knife and fork to eat around the bone.
"Probably trying to find his girlfriend." Dulaney gaffed spraying chicken around the table, nobody minded as they all were laughing at Regulus' expense. "What's wrong? On a date with your brother? Honestly Black what do you see in her? Sure she's fit and all but she's a Gryffindor." he grimaced and turned up his nose as if being a Gryffindor gave you a bad odour. The table cracked up at Dulaney's facial expression.
"She's pure though." Avery muttered, a bit more refined then his class mates for he had finished what was in his mouth before he started speaking. That shut the table up as they tried to reason what was worse, a pure-blooded Gryffindor or a Muggle-born.
Regulus sighed, they just wouldn't understand. Marlene was a breath of fresh air for him, and yes he had the sneaky suspicion that she was spying on him for Dumbledore, it didn't stop him from liking her, talking to her and wishing that Sirius hadn't gotten to her first.
It was midnight by the time Marlene had finally convinced James that they needed to return to Hogwarts. That Martyn could deal with anything else and owl James with the details. Lily, Remus, Peter and Sirius had retuned with Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore who had also attended the funeral. It was on Professor Dumbledore's suggestion that Marlene had taken charge and forced James to return with them.
James had been like a different person in the wake of his fathers death. In the days following, James had organised everything. Spoken to lawyers, Gringotts, healers. Martyn had offered to do everything, like he had done for his and Marlene's parents but James was insistent. He was the last remaining Potter and he would do this properly. A year spent as Head-Boy and being influenced by Lily's organising nature had certainly been beneficial for him.
The only thing he agreed to allow Martyn to help with, was the sale of the house. He didn't want to keep it. It was too big and brought back too many memories. He would keep the cottage that had been passed down but the house was to be sold. He had signed off on all the papers the only thing Martyn had to do was keep in touch with the estate agents and update James when any news came through. It was only for the next couple of weeks, until James finished his final school year. Sirius had already said he could have the spare room at the flat, just until he finds his feet.
The common room was empty, as it should be at half past midnight on a Thursday morning. Sinking into his favourite chair, he placed his head in his hands and listened to fire crackling weakly in the grate as it started to go out. Marlene was with him, although inspecting two piles of books that had been left on a table.
"You'll never guess what these are." she said conversationally, gesturing to the two piles. James looked up and stifled a yawn. His face was haggard and there were dark rings under his eyes. "It's all the school work we've missed, in Lily's lovely note form, however there is a rather dubious piece of parchment in Sirius' handwriting that looks like it was from a couple of Muggle Studies lessons."
James nodded and ran his hands through his hair. "We can't have missed that much, could we?"
"We've missed three whole days of lessons and with our exams in less than three weeks."
"Is that it? Three weeks? Damn I thought we had more time." James said leaning back in the chair and rubbing his face. Marlene smiled and walked over to James, placing her small hand on his shoulder, she sat on the arm of the chair and looked into the dying embers of the fire.
"Yep in a bout five weeks, all this exam nonsense will be behind us and we'll be able to concentrate on more pressing matters."
"Chasing Death Eaters down alleyways and launching police cars at them."
"Getting into the Ministry of Magic."
"Marrying the woman I love..." James trailed off and although he couldn't hear it, he was pretty sure Marlene had just raised her eyebrows at him. "I've decided, I've always loved Lily, ever since I first met her and unwittingly insulted her best friend, it was fate that you became friends with her. Everything happens for a reason, and I believe that reason is because me and Lils are made for each other."
Marlene said nothing she agreed with the logic behind, everything happens for a reason, but somehow she thought James had it a little bit wrong.
"Not yet, give it a few months, you've been dating for less than six months. Sirius and I have been going out longer than you and we're not ready to tie the knot yet. Partly because of my unfortunate situation of being related to an idiot that believes in old school Pure Blood ethics, but hey, as you say there is a reason why he is my brother."
James cracked a smile, something he hadn't done in a while. "Thank you." he whispered placing a large hand on Marlene's small one, it was still resting on his shoulder.
"For what?"
"Being there and helping me through this. I'm glad we still have this level of friendship even though in first year we sort of split off and pretended not to know each other, started anew with new friends."
"All for a reason," Marlene said smiling. "But seriously? Your welcome, you can be cheesy and soppy sometimes Potter, you know that?"
James grinned and squeezed Marlene hand. "I suppose we better go to bed, are you letting Sirius know your back?"
"Nah, let him suffer, I'll no doubt see him first thing tomorrow."
James grinned and stood up, "Well it's past curfew missus, chop chop."
Sticking her tongue out at him, Marlene grabbed her pile of books and notes off the table before almost skipping up to her dormitory.
James watched her go. She was a truly remarkable young woman, she had gone through so much, and having an uncooperative brother and a headmaster who is eager to end a war didn't help. For everything that had been thrown at her, arranged marriages, deaths and pregnancy. Marlene McKinnon had rose through it all, one of the reasons why James had been able to cope was because he looked back at Marlene and saw her coping. If Marlene hadn't of coped then he would never have been able to do it.
Regulus couldn't stop looking at her, this silly infatuation with her was getting out of control. Yes he had always harboured feelings for the older student however he also harboured feelings for the Dark Lord and there was the underlying similarity between the two feelings in that he both admired them to the fact that he would go to the edge of the world for them, the feelings for Marlene were a little bit stronger than the pure admiration for her. It was hard to describe, whenever she smiled his heart leapt, he couldn't sleep properly at night without knowing that she was safe. It was silly he knew to hold onto these feelings however he was using all his strength not to rush over there and welcome her back to Hogwarts.
"I know that look." Dulaney said, flicking a cornflake into Regulus' hair and grinning when the sixth year made no attempted to remove it. "It's the same look Snape has on his face whenever he was gazing at Evans from afar."
Avery sniggered, "Regulus has moved on from McKinnon and is now on Evans? I think that's worse, we need to get you a woman Reg."
Upon hearing his name, Regulus looked up at his friends to find his vision hampered by a soggy cornflake on his nose. Flicking it off with a scowl, he stood up – leaving his bewildered friends behind as well as an uneaten bowl of porridge and made his way to his first lesson, a whole half-an-hour early.
Across the hall, Marlene saw him leave. Not for the first time did she feel a pang of guilt when she remembered what she had to do, as well as apprehension. She was eighteen and already planning on something she may later regret. She thought back to her conversation with James the night before. She couldn't sleep instead she spent the night catching up on what she had missed in her lessons, there wasn't a lot. This close to the exams they were just reviewing old material. The professors seemed to have exhausted all their new material and lessons were instead dedicated to revision.
"Everything happens for a reason," she muttered half to herself.
"What was that babe?" Sirius asked, his mouthful of sausage.
Marlene smiled and tore her gaze away from the Slytherin table, instead she grinned at her friends. "My reason for being friends with you crazy people, is that I myself am stark raving bonkers."
"Charming," James muttered and tried to feed Lily a strawberry.
"James, do you mind? I'm trying to read this letter from my mother." Lily said using her elbow to restrict James and the strawberry.
Lily's initial shock at telling James she loved him had worn off, and when they met again at Charlus' funeral, it seemed to have been forgotten, they were themselves again there was no awkward hug or strange silences, even now back at Hogwarts James and Lily seemed to have fallen straight back into their normal routine. They even had rounds scheduled for last period when they both had a free slot. The letter from her mother however, was the advice she had asked for at the weekend, and taking it to heart, Lily decided to try her luck during rounds. It was time to see what James Potter really felt about her.
"Are you going to let me explain or are you just going to stare at me as if I grown an extra head?" Marlene said, crossing her arms and giving Regulus a gaze that was just as piercing as the one he was giving her.
"The Dark Lord doesn't wait for explanations." Regulus said still watching her.
Her eyes opened in disbelief. "Wow you really do idolise him, don't you?"
"I've just been brought up to value his logic and reasoning."
"I've been brought up to follow Pride of Portree, but you don't see me dropping my education to go and join them in their quest to dominate the league tables." Marlene sighed, "Just be careful, don't get in so deep, you can't get out."
"That's what you and you're friends are for."
Marlene smiled sadly, "I don't think it works like that hun, sorry."
"Bummer," Regulus said and looked like he had more to say when the tapestry covering the hidden staircase was pushed aside and a gaggle of first years pushed their way through heading for lunch, causing Regulus and Marlene to move very close together so that the first years could get by. It wasn't just first years however, as soon there was a small, annoyed cough from the top of the stairs.
"Did I walk into something?" James asked as he walked down the stairs and glared meaningfully at Marlene.
"What you see is what you get," Regulus said with a smirk.
Marlene blushed, "its not actually what it looks like, look Regulus I'll see you later. Lunch James?"
Regulus scowled at being interrupted but nodded, and watched as Marlene grabbed James' hand and dragged him out into the main corridor below.
"We had to move aside to let the first years past." Marlene said as they headed down the main staircase.
"Look I won't pretend, but we're all concerned and we know Dumbledore's asked you and what not, but you can say no, if you don't want to do it then, just say so. Marl, once you go in there, there's no coming out unless it's in a coffin."
"Call me optimistic, or stupid beyond a doubt, but I have faith in Dumbledore and the Order. I'll be alright. You've said it yourself, everything happens for a reason."
"You can't rule your life, thinking that every turn you take, was meant to happen, we live our own lives. We control our own destiny." Marlene was silent as she pondered James revelation. James hadn't finished. "Let Sirius know what happened back there, if one of those first years blabbed, then imagine how Sirius is going to feel."
"It was completely by accident, that we met. I was on my way to lunch and he was on his way back to Charms." Marlene replied as they took their normal seats at the Gryffindor table.
"Who was on his way back to Charms?" Peter asked, ever nosy and ever wanting to be involved.
"Regulus," Marlene said without blinking. Sirius scowled, as he did most times his brother or the Dark Side (as he called it) was mentioned.
"What did the Fluffy Eater in-training want this time?" Sirius asked swapping Peter's already overflowing plate with his empty one, just to save him plating him some food up.
Marlene frowned, she didn't actually know why he had asked her into the hidden staircase. He never got around to saying much, and then James and the first years interrupted. Marlene shrugged, "It was only in passing, we ended up against the wall instead as the bell rang and first years came streaming through."
Sirius blinked and missed his mouth causing him to drip gravy onto his white school shirt. "Damn... up against the wall?"
"Yeah like this," she stood up and motioned for James to follow suit. Pushing him up against the wall of the great hall, she went up against him and looked back over her shoulder. "Like this. That corridor is very narrow so I can understand it probably looks a bit dodgy, but it was all innocent promise."
"Marl, I think you're digging a little bit too much here, you're just making it worse." James said, a little bit uncomfortable at being pushed up against the wall.
"Do I want to know?" Lily asked arriving at the wrong moment.
James blushed and pushing Marlene away, he straightened up his robes and sat down sheepishly next to Lily. "I have a reason," he exclaimed but Lily just laughed.
"It's fine, no need to explain," she said helping herself to some carrots.
Marlene grinned and sat back down next to Sirius. "So as you can see, it was completely harmless, however to random passers-by, it could've been taken the wrong way."
Sirius just nodded, "just be careful please babes, I don't like this task you've got to do, but i'm not complaining, as I've said just make sure you come home to me every night."
Regulus sighed, he'd had the perfect opportunity to say what he wanted to say, but Potter had to come and spoil it. He had finally manage to find the courage to invite her to dinner, during the summer holidays. He reasoned that he had nothing to lose – however he didn't even get that far. Placing his head down on the counter, narrowly missing the open flame of his potion. He sighed again, he'd have to catch her later.
A/N: Hello, so funny story. Did I ever tell you about my hamsters James and Sirius? Well I got home from Spain to find James a little fatter than normal and liking his food and also missing a finger. We have now renamed him Peter... funny thing is, it was Sirius who bit the finger off...
See aren't I good? Uploaded another chapter in a matter of days. The random dictionary definition at the top is something I'm gonna start doing, (might, it could be that next chapter I completely and utterly forget.)