Sirius

"Oho!"

Sirius burst through the doorway with one hand over his eyes and the other waving the maddeningly large, extremely annoying Muggle foam finger Arthur had brought back in excitement from his latest foray into the Muggle world ("I really don't know the function, but it's squishy texture is fascinating!")

Jabbing the air in the general direction of the bed, Sirius crowed, "Caught in the act!"

"'Choo want?" Tonks mumbled sleepily and burrowed her head deeper into the covers. "Go 'way Sirius."

Her pillow grunted and sat up as her head slid off Remus' chest and onto his lap.

"Oy! Come back here! Some of us are trying to sleep." Tonks wrapped her arms around his waist in a desperate attempt to pull Remus back down into bed.

"I refuse to be the headline of Auntie Siri's next issue of Grimmauld Gossip."

"The headline of what?" Tonks' sleep-mussed head shot upright at Remus' words.

"Grimmauld Gossip." Remus sighed in exasperation. "The what's and the where's of the who's who of the bold defenders of our magical community."

"Literally the what's and the where's, if you know what I mean." Sirius interjected, wiggling his eyebrows as he stepped into Remus' room.

"Hey! No peeking 'til we're decent!" Tonks yelped, as she drew the covers more comfortably around herself and glared at her meddling cousin.

"No worries 'cuz, it's nothing I haven't seen before." He winked and smirked, "'Course you were a wee little one the last time I changed your nappy."

Tonks groaned, "Sirius. Completely ignoring the very disturbing fact that you're telling a grown woman you've seen her..." she waved a hand vaguely over herself. "We just got over the a-g-e issue." She dropped her voice down to a mock whisper. "Don't taunt the beast within."

Remus snorted. "Literally." He rubbed his eyes. "Sirius, not to sound completely rude, but what the hell do you think you're doing here at this ungodly time of day?"

"That, Moony, is the million galleon question, isn't it?" He cleared his throat dramatically and paused for effect. "Now we all know how fast word tends to, er, spread, in the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black."

"Which, of course, you have absolutely nothing to do with."

"Of course not." Sirius agreed readily. "So this." He pointed at the two of them snuggled together in bed. "It's been going on for weeks." He pouted as his voice adopted a distinct whine to it. "I wanna tell! You can't seriously expect me to hold onto this explosive information for so long."

"It's not that we want to keep it a secret," Remus paused to meet Tonks' eyes and she nodded supportively, "It's more like we don't want to go shouting off every rooftop. Bit obnoxious to advertise our happiness when there are so many lonely souls about." He looked pointedly at Sirius. "Then again, I seem to recall something about Hestia and her love for large canines."

"Mmm, yes. A bit odd, that one. Never did find out what was so appealing about pasty skin and feeling weak-kneed after a good shag from blood loss." Sirius shrugged. "In my opinion, it's a pain in the neck. But whatever floats your boat."

"Har dee har har, Sirius." Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, Sirius. People in this house really don't care about our love lives that much. And even if they did, I forbid you to discuss it with them. It's our business, and you just happen to be the awkward hippogriff in the room."

"Sometimes people are so thick they can't see the giant hippogriff in the room even when it's making lovey-dovey eyes at the fluffy bunny with the furry little problem in the corner."

"Correct me if I"m wrong, Sirius," Tonks raised an amused eyebrow, "But am I supposed to be the hippogriff in this scenario?"

"Look," Remus ran an exasperated hand through his tousled hair, "Do whatever you want, Sirius, just don't go announcing this to everyone you meet in the hallway."

Sirius' face exploded into an enormous, ominous grin. "Challenge accepted!"