IF IT BE YOUR WILL
Severus Snape needed a few seconds to acknowledge the face of his old pupil. He was unable to do more than this.
Miss Granger? – he whispered. The girl kept staring at him. Gradually, his mind started being seized by several flashes of what had happened a few hours ago: Voldemort, the snake, Potter… His head ached badly, his neck did too. All his memories were ordering, not without difficulty. When finally he went conscious about the fact of his imminent owns death, he watched again the young pair of ex-pupils (he had already realize of the Weasley´s presence and their location) he obviously asked:
What happened? Why am I not... death?
I, we… well… - The fact of Hermione Granger had lost her usual eloquence only got his concern raised. But surprisingly, Weasley answered instead of her.
Hermione and me were waiting for Harry while he was in your office watching… well, whatever you wanted him to know. After that, he ran downstairs with no explanation, fast enough for missing that bloody stone. Hermione couldn´t gave it back to him. We decided… she decided then to see the pensieve´s content and so she did; and then, she… - He stopped and stared carefully at her friend, but she was too odd to add nothing. – She started running towards here. I tried to talk to her but she didn´t say a word. When we arrived this room, she came around you, and she touched you with this stone and then… you, you know – The red-haired boy seemed very puzzle as to say it: Yes, no doubt, he had brought back to life. Weel, Granger had done it. Snape stared at her again. The insufferable know-it-all was unusually quiet. She hadn´t answers that day.
… Instead of that, she had a lot of questions. She wondered how she had lost control in that way, why she had started running… to save that man… He deserved to live, didn´t he? What if her own justice´s wish had made her revive the Dumbledore´s killer? – Following Dumbledore´s orders – She remembered herself. Her head seemed to be about to explode, too.
Can you show to me that stone? – Snape´s voice took the teenagers out of their absorption.
Why shall we? – Ron said, with an obvious distrustful pitch. Hermione finally spoke:
Ron, please, he´s one of us. I´ll explain to you after…
WHAT? Hermione, you have lost your mind, haven´t you? – Severus Snape, the death eater, one of us? He stared at Hermione, and discovered confidence in her eyes. He doesn´t understand anything, but he trusted Hermione. Barely convinced, Ron came towards the man and hold out his hand, helping his ex-professor to stand up and offering the stone to him. Snape picked up the maroon object.
Severus Snape examined the stone for a while. After that, he spoke again, sounding unusually embarrased:
Have you ever heard of the deathly hallows? – There was silence. Hermione, maybe feeling herself like if she was answering some school question made a feint of rising her arm, but she didn´t. She had already understood, although she wasn´t willing to know:
Obviously we know, professor. But it… it can´t be possible…
In fact, it is: Snape cut her off, his dark eyes pulled over her. – This is the resurrection stone. – She held the intimidating man´s gaze. Ron tried to speak, but he didn´t find his own voice. Snape must be joking. He started again, apparently choosing carefully the most appropriate words:
The stone was dropped by Potter, wasn´t it? Who, if I´m correct, owns a invisibility cloak, and, probably, and elder wand, too. Miss Granger… - He faced again the horrified girl´s expression. – you knew my memories, don´t you? Dumbledore meant to sacrifice Harry… but he didn´t, after all… Potter, Hermione´s eyes opened with horror. Tears started to crowd them. The resurrection stone MUST have been utilized by Harry…. – I must be death – He continued, feeling unable to avert his eyes of hers, Hermione seemed to be about to faint. Harry… Harry may be in danger just then… if… if still alive.
Hermione, we MUST find Harry. – The scary Ron´s voice spoke again. Snape´s too:
I´m coming with you. We´ll better appear. – He held their arms and a few seconds later the were standing in front of the castle´s entrance. Everything was suspiciously quiet and deep dark around them.
Let´s go, behind me. – Ron and Hermione followed Snape who made his way through the entrance. He walked slowly inside the quiet corridor, because of the hinder floor, full of rubber and dust. Noises were coming from the great hall. These noises seemed to be rumors of human voices. Severus Snape crouched down the main door. He turned his head towards the younger ones:
I´ll come in. You waited here. If I don´t came back in ten seconds, you rain, it´s clear? – Ron and Hermione nodded. Severus Snape opened the door and disappeared. A few moments later the door opened again and his professor relieved expression encourage them to come in. They immediately froze. All around them seemed completely ruined. Along the room, small groups of all sorts of people (students, members of the phoenix order, aurors) were talking with loud voices or helping to the big amount of injured partners in the middle of the room. The tables had been moved away. Instead of, a big tent had been rising in a corner, with the aim of sheltering the several corpses. Despite the circumstances, those of the groups made up of red haired heads mainly seemed to recognize them:
¡DAD, MUM! – Ron cried, running towards them, and causing everyone´s notice their presence, except Snape´s, who remained back while Ron and Hermione were suffering an avalanche of passionate hugs.
Where did you stay? We though, you… you were… - Molly Weasley hardly spoke, in such a shocked voice. The reception carried on a while. Till Arthur Weasley noticed something apparently endangering:
YOU! EY! WATCH OUT! – He cried, getting out his wand. As fast as she could, Hermione stood in his way:
¡NO! – She cried, too. – He´s one of us. There´s an explanation. Harry knows…. Where´s Harry? WHERE IS HE? And Voldemort? – Hermione´s raising of voice was followed by an intense silence. Only Snape was able to speak.
The dark lord has gone, Hermione… He rolled the left sleeve of his robes, and everyone could watch a purple shadow crossing the pale skin, in the exact place where a death eater must have had the dark mark visible. There was more silence, until the new Ron´s speech:
AND HARRY? – But it was useless. Of course… Ron and Hermione by this moment already knew… The pain in Ginny´s face was evidence enough to know.
No… . Hermione sobbed, hiding his face between his hands. She was about to fall. Severus Snape approached, intuitively. Arthur Weasley explained then:
He should have gone to the forest alone, if you weren´t. To him. We only Know that Hagrid brought him here and he already was, he was. – He didn´t said it. Nobody wanted him to do it. – The dark lord and the death eaters came with him. He said he had won. He offered to us the possibility of begging his forgiveness. Or to die. Then, Neville approach to him. He seemed to… but suddenly there was an explosion. Everything went dark. A moments later we could see that horrible snake of him laying on the floor, crossed right by Griffindor´s sword. And then Neville again stared at the dark lord. He tried to curse him, and the wand didn´t work correctly. It gave Neville a lot of time for conjuring a protector charm. When the killing course came out of Voldemort´s wand, it bounced in Neville´s charm, and hit him. He, he, Voldemort – Mr. Weasley seemed not to believe yet… He has gone. Forever. But Harry… both of them have gone. The prophecy was wrong.
No. It can´t. – Severus Snape cut him off. All the people in the room noticed him, and watched him with obvious mistruth. – I heard it myself. I am who told Dumbledore. One, only one kid was the chosen-one, and he was Potter´s son. Let me in… - The whole group moved away the tent´s entrance. Hermione and Ron followed him. They observed the lifeless body of Harry. He was death. No doubt. Hermione had closed her eyes. She didn´t opened then. It was her fault. It was her fault. She felt sick. She didn´t even noticed the Snape´s strong arm pulling her out of the tent. Suddenly, Ron started to cry, He seemed have read Hermione´s thought:
IT WAS YOUR FAULT, HERMIONE! YOU! – Hermione felt as if a knife stuck in her heart. Everyone stared at them, looking confused. Ron went on. – yes, HER FAULT! Harry had a resurrection stone. He must have used it. But he lost it, and Hermione found it and she… SHE SAVED HIM, NOT HARRY! He pointed Severus Snape with a despiseful look. – HERMIONE! – He seemed unconscious of the pain her friend was suffering because of his words. – Harry MUST BE ALIVE. But… this, this greasy hit. – He looked at Snape. – Harry was a good person. – HE DESERVED TO DIE, NOT HARRY.
NO! – Hermione´s cry resounded along the room, loud and desperate. She felt angry. A violent sight surrounded her. A furious wind opened doors and windows abruptly. Everyone moved away. – No. – She repeated, and raised her arm. – Pensive! – She murmured. A few seconds later, the object had travelled from headmaster´s office to her side. Maybe Severus Snape was aware of the Hermione´s pretension, but he was too amazed to talk, because of the improvised show of magic power which Hermione Granger was offering, magic which he was able to feel vibrating thorough the room. Such a powerful wandless magic, inappropriate of such a young girl… of a wizard whatever his age, in fact.
Hermione moved towards the pensieve. The content of Snape´s memories was floating on the surface yet. He walked toward hers, and held her arm, trying to avoid what it was about to happen…
Miss granger…. He said, with a soft voice.
They must know. – It was her brief answer. And turning her back on him, she touched the pensieve and said. - ¡Show it!. – A with light went out of the object, creating a huge square hole above the Great hall. There, several images were projected, capturing everyone´s attention. Everyone knew then Snape´s truth.
He stood for a while but, in the meantime, he made his way to the dungeons. He didn´t want to answer all the questions which are about to come, most part of them remained without answer to him, in fact. While arriving at the door, he had to face Hermione Granger again. They look each other quietly. Admiration, guilt, misunderstood, concern… There´re sometimes feelings that we don´t know how to express with words, and, if we are able to, we corrupt them. So, there´re some glances with allow us to say everything we want, even more.
Severus Snape left the great hall, thoughtful and confused as hardly ever during his life-time.
If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for
If it be your will
If it be your will
If it be your will
If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well
(LEONARD COHEN)
I wish you enjoy it.