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The Silence - Chapter V"We've been researching for hours now, I think we should take a break," Axel laughed as he minimized the screen with all of the research on and twirled in his chair towards me with a playful smile and I snapped my notebook shut, placing it on the desk beside me.
"I want to get you talking," Axel muttered to himself but loudly enough so I could hear him, something every human does, mostly for attention most of the time.
I folded my arms across my chest and raised my eyebrows, 'and how exactly are you going to do that Spiky?' I smiled at my nickname that I had recently been calling him in my head 'Spiky', I had noticed that I was feeling and doing a lot more things ever since I had met Axel, nickname giving one of them, but the other…
"I'm going to do something you might punch me for later on, but I want to get you talking," Axel smirked and he licked his lips.
My heart stopped in my chest and my eyes widened dramatically as he once again moved his face closer to mine, his hands creeping around my hips and I heard my own breath hitch in my throat as his irritatingly seductive eyes flickered to my own petrified ones and he chuckled deeply before I shrieked as I felt his fingers start to tickle my sides making me squirm in my seat.
'You fucker!' I screamed in my head as I squealed, kicking my legs out as I felt my chair tipping backwards and I gripped onto his shirt to stay up which was difficult as the moron was still tickling me. How he found my ticklish spot? I will never know.
"Tell me to stop," Axel chuckled as he pushed onto me a bit more, tipping my chair further than either of us had expected and I toppled backwards, still gripping his shirt and we fell with a painful thud onto the ground, the chair just missing my head as it toppled down beside us, "ouch, you okay?" he whined as he sat up…on me with his legs either side of me and I blushed heavily, both flustered and irritated as I pulled my shirt down, it had ridden up when I hit the floor.
I shook my head but soon regretted it as it just made me dizzy, my breathing catching a little harder and I slipped out from underneath Axel, fumbling through my bag for my inhaler, quickly taking a few puffs of it.
"I'm sorry, I didn't expect to push us over," Axel sounded genuine but the smirk on his face told me otherwise and I threw my inhaler back into my bag, jumping as I felt his hand cup my arms and pull me to my feet. I hated it when people thought I needed help, I can walk therefore I'm pretty sure I can help myself get onto my feet.
My eyes landed on his face and I nearly moaned as I felt my heart sting in my chest, it had been doing that for the passed week…I had come to terms with the fact that I might in fact be gay. If I was then I wasn't going to be ashamed…not that I would tell anyone anyway because why should I have to explain that to a person, they should just like me for me instead of having to know my sexuality.
"What are you staring at?" Axel snorted as he ruffled my hair, his hand lingering there for a second before he lightly stroked my cheek with his fingers and I cringed away from the action.
'Don't touch me…please' I actually wanted to throw myself into his arms which was the strangest emotion I think I have ever felt before, it felt like I was happy but sick at the same time and it made both my stomach and heart ache like bloody murder whenever I was around the overly friendly red head.
Axel sighed heavily as he slumped back down into his computer chair; his legs spread wide open lazily as I followed his actions after I pulled my chair back up from the floor.
"Could you do something for me when you get home?" I looked up at Axel who was scribbling something down in his notepad before tearing the page out and handing it to me, "I know you don't like talking and I know that something is bothering you, I want you to create an account on that website and write a blog telling me what's making you so frightened all of the time," my heart stopped as I heard the word 'frightened' leave his lips, how the hell could he see that? "Because like it or not, Zexion, I want to hang around with you and be friends with you, promise me you'll do that for me and don't worry about other people reading it, invite me as a friend and set your blog to 'friend only' so that only I can read it," Axel smiled and I looked down at the small piece of paper with both the website address and his username on it.
'You want to help me?' I felt tears forming in my eyes as I looked back up at him, he cared about me, somebody actually cared about me enough to want to do this for me…but…my trust issues made me think twice about my new feeling, I have trusted people before and they've betrayed me, made me look a fool, but I nodded regardless of my doubts, wanting to believe that Axel was genuine.
"Awesome!" Axel grinned as he clapped his hands to break the serious tension in the room and rubbed them together as if he was trying to make fire with them and began to drum on his desk, "oh!" he exclaimed and I blinked at him, "Demyx asked me to go over to his house on Saturday with Roxas, he asked whether you wanted to come along too," I nearly fainted in surprise.
'Demyx asked about me?' Axel laughed at whatever my facial expression had looked like then, I'm gathering shocked and he punched his fist in the air.
"Please come Zexion, you've been officially invited," he winked at me and I gritted my teeth tightly together as my blush rapidly grew across my face, "he said he'd seen you around and has wanted to talk to you for ages but apparently you went into the library most of the time and he's been banned from there so he couldn't find the time," he chuckled at the last part and I smiled at hi but then frowned, Demyx was in a few of my classes so if he had wanted to talk to me why didn't he do it then?
I looked up and jumped as I noticed that Axel was once again very close to my face and I held my breath, "well?" he extended his word long and I snickered at his childishness.
I nodded and whimpered as I felt him pull me into a small hug, my hands squeezing together tightly as I just stayed completely still in his arms, wanting to embrace him back but couldn't.
I stared at my computer for a while as I waited for the page to load, my finger tapping on the mouse before I looked at the note that Axel had written, I had never created an account on a social networking site before and only on game sites like Nintendo or Square Enix.
I never saw the point of social networking sites; they were just basically sites where you wrote about how you were feeling or what you were doing, why would anyone be interested in reading that? Though I knew some people used it to keep in contact with people they loved because of the long distance, understandable, but most used it to talk to friends that they just saw a few hours ago at school or to post erotic pictures of themselves to try and get a partner, not understandable.
When the page eventually loaded I was completely confused as to where the actually 'register' or 'sign up' button was but I eventually found it at the bottom of the page, I entered my details, making up a few and then I went through stages of choosing a display picture of a game I adored called Final Fantasy, I also had to fill in some information about myself because the site replied with 'must fill in' when I clicked the 'continue' button. I just put one line: 'Created by a person'.
'How the hell do you use this bloody thing!' I slammed my mouse down as I frustrated clicked on the page, trying to figure out how to search for 'friends' on the site, it was a the smallest little bar on the side of the page, I honestly think that morons created this site possibly whilst high.
I typed in Axel's username and it instantly flashed up the screen with a loud twinkling noise sounding from the speakers giving me a miniature heart attack. A small laugh echoed from my lips as I saw the picture Axel had put up, it was a standard photo as I could see his arm where he was holding the camera, his head was tilted slightly with his tongue sticking out, showing a tongue stud I hadn't seen before, he was in a v cut tight black shirt and baggy blue jeans. He looked so relaxed and confident but so heart achingly attractive at the same time and I quickly cleared my throat as I found myself gazing at the photo.
I added him and it was quickly accepted showing that he was online already and I bit my lip as I then made my way over to the blog section and clicked on it and that's were my hands froze, I had no idea what to write and I couldn't possibly tell Axel about… 'that'. * I don't really know what to write because (as I'm sure you've already guessed) I'm very … closed off to others. But you asked me to write about why I'm always frightened, to be honest I'm surprised you picked that up because no one has ever noticed that before, not even my foster father. I'm frightened all of the time because of people, I know it sounds crazy but people terrify me and I am constantly distancing myself from them because I'm frightened of the hurt that people can create with the unfortunate emotions that we Humans were given. I'm frightened that I'm going to be judged by people. Frightened that I'm never going to fit in and be alone…though often want to be alone. *
I turned the blog so that only 'friends' could read it and sent it onto the site quickly before I changed my mind and signed out.
"Zexion!" I felt a hand clamp down onto my shoulder and I looked up to see Demyx standing there beside me at my locker with a daft smile on his face, "I finally caught you," he was panting so it was obvious that he had been running, "I just wanted to say that it's awesome that you said yes to coming over to my place on Saturday, I've been trying to talk to you for ages, but you always seemed in a hurry to get places and I didn't want to bother you," he even rambled like Axel, those two should have been born brothers, "but I just wanted to say that it's also open to being a sleep over as well," another hand interrupted Demyx as it shut my locked for me and I smiled as I realized that it was Axel.
"You should sleep over as well, we could get to know you more then," Axel smiled and Demyx nodded with a warm, but slightly goofy, grin, his hand rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Just ask your dad if it's okay, and bring some films if he says yes!" Demyx clapped his hands in excitement before he took off down the corridor after spotting Roxas entering the school. I sighed at the boy's behavior and looked up at Axel who was chuckling.
"Um, I read the blog you posted," Axel, said as his laughter died down and my heart skipped a beat, "I never realized that people scared you that much," he stared at me for a while and I licked my lips as I felt tears forming again, "boy do I wish I had been around for you then maybe you wouldn't have ended up… as a mute," if Axel had been there for me I still would have turned into a mute, I had people around me so it wasn't as if I was alone as he's assuming, I just fell into the silence.
I grunted as I felt tears trickle down my cheeks and I stiffened sharply as Axel pulled me into a tight hug again and I shut my eyes as I noticed people staring, my hands balled in fists as I took in deep breaths catching Axel's incredible scent at the same time and I felt my body almost melting into him as I unconsciously rubbed my face into his warm chest.
I didn't even realize I was doing it until a certain male began to make comments.
"You dirty little whore, making your move on the new boy huh?" Marluxia's voice actually made me shiver and more tears fell from my eyes as I knew he was going to ruin the moment I was sharing with what I hoped was my new friend.
"Fuck of Marluxia," Axel spat as he let go of me despite my obvious protest when I finally allowed my hands to uncurl and grab his arm.
"Why don't you fuck off?" Marluxia said calmly and folded his arms, "it used to be so much fun teasing him before you came along and got all protective," Marluxia hissed as his flamboyant pink hair ruffled around his face reminding me somehow of how a fur tree looks when wind was blowing through it.
"Oh I'm so sorry," Axel said sarcastically, "get lost and go back to potting plants you dick," he took a hold of my hand and pulled me away from Marluxia, I looked over my shoulder to be greeted by possibly one of the most terrifying expressions I had ever seen grace Marluxia's face.
'Axel' as soon as we were sat in my music class he pulled me into his arms again and I instinctively tensed up, but my face instantly went into his chest again and I heard him laugh ever so slightly, 'thank you' I knew I was wetting his shirt with my pathetic crying but he didn't seem to mind and I shuffled my face a bit so I could look up at him, well the front of his neck anyways as he was leaning with his cheek pressed onto my head.
My hands shook as I felt his hand rub my back comfortingly and I took in the biggest breath as I could manage to take in his scent of warmth and…chocolate, I'm guessing he uses Lynx.
"Are you smelling me?" a giggling Axel asked as he rested his hand back across me and his hand rested on my hip.
I blushed and quickly moved away from him instantly missing the warmth and I heard Axel laugh even more, 'ruin my comfort why don't you' I thought darkly as I hid my face with my hair, if he was going to be like this at the sleepover, I wasn't going to go as I know that I would most probably going to hyperventilate if he would be holding me in front of people.
I pulled at my bag strap as I walked back to my house after school feeling my usual nerves which I got whenever I was walking by myself, though it was more normal for a girl to feel nervous when walking alone I still felt nervous.
I stuffed my hands into my black jeans as I tried to hide the fact I was shaking and I peeked over my shoulder with wide eyes, chewing the inside of my mouth, it felt different walking home I had no idea why but I knew something wasn't right which was why I was more alert than usual.
'Somebody is following me, shit, shit, shit,' I looked behind me again to catch the person out but my face collided with somebody's fist and I screamed as I backed away holding my nose as it bled. I knew who it was without even looking at them and I felt the pink haired boy's hand grab a handful of my hair and yank me towards him, it was so different as to when Axel touched my hair.
"Looks like little old Axel isn't here to help you this time," I held back a hiss as I heard Axel being insulted, I'm pretty sure that he was my friend now and I'm damn certain that I didn't like people speaking badly of him, "aw look, you're crying," I froze and I touched my cheeks, I hadn't noticed I was crying.
He pulled at my hair again and I whined in pain as he then slammed me against the brick wall, grabbing my jacket, "I swear to god if that red haired freak attacks me because of you again…" he punched me in the stomach as his other hand suddenly clamped around my throat, his lips moving next to my ear, "…I'll fucking kill you," I gasped as I tried to breathe and my eyes darkened as I heard him disrespect Axel again, I curled my hands up into fists and thwacked him around the face, I saw the stunned expression on his face as a bruise automatically formed on his cheek and I shrieked as he threw me onto the ground, placing his knee into my stomach as his other knee was placed on the pavement and he pulled at my jacket again, pulling me up a little from the ground.
"You blew it now," Marluxia snarled and spit sprayed onto my face, the disgusting parasite but my breath stopped as I saw his bring a lighter out from his pocket and I screamed as loud as I could, hoping someone would come out and help me.
I cried out as he lifted my shirt and flicked the lighter on, I struggled beneath him but he had both of my hands locked in his free one and I threw my head back in agony as he burnt my stomach with the lighter, not stopping until I was screaming my loudest, tears drowning my cheeks as I arched my back once the flame returned to my skin, my nails digging into my other hand as I couldn't reach his.
It hurt so much that I felt like ripping my own throat out for allowing Marluxia to see how much it did. He was laughing.
My head flew backwards again and my eyes widened with shock and happiness as I saw Axel running towards us, Marluxia obviously unaware, my heart raced as I suddenly felt his hand slip up the rest of my shirt, using his nails to cut me and I kicked my trapped legs underneath him. My breathing was so erratic that I thought I was going to collapse and I nearly did as I felt him burning my skin again. I felt something rising in my throat, which felt like trapped air, and I opened my mouth screaming.
"AXEL!"