To say that being stared at freaked me out a little was a complete understatement. I loathed being stared at; having someone constantly scanning your facial expressions with what one would call 'concern' wasn't a very enjoyable experience.
"What?" I frowned as I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion as I sat beside Axel in his room.
"Nothing," Axel murmured as his eyes finally fell from my face and he twirled his thumbs around one another like some deluded professor.
"Axel tell me," it still felt strange to hear my own voice and I only ever spoke when I was around Axel, it felt safe to speak with him around.
"Seriously I-" he seemed to notice my eye twitching in irritation as he was about to speak another lie and he sighed heavily, pressing his back against his bedroom wall and pulled me onto his lap, "you know when we…" his voice trailed off and I blushed heavily as the memory replayed itself in my head, my heart freezing slightly.
'Did I do it wrong?' I clunked my teeth together as I looked up at him, my hand gripping his shirt.
"Yeah?" I muttered, urging him to continue speaking.
"I saw them, Zexion," his tone bugged me a lot because it was his 'I'm serious and playtime Axel has gone to bed' tone, "your scars…that weren't made by Marluxia," I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes tightly, I knew that he was going to try and get this out of me sooner or later, my scars were very visible on my back and it was hard to miss them.
"What about them?" I frowned with my eyes still shut and I felt his shuffle around me.
"Well you know so much about me and my family and yet I know next to nothing about you!" he grumbled as he poked the back of my head gently, "and plus I really want to know who the hell thought they had the right to scar you like that," this made me open my eyes and I smiled at how protective he was, though in the past I had found it annoying, it was quiet adorable now.
"I want to know, Zexion," my slight happiness died as he pursued the topic of my scars and I clambered out of his lap so I could sit on the edge of his bed, my fingers gripping the covers tightly as I glared at my black and green socks.
"I don't want to talk about it," I whispered and I heard Axel tut behind me.
"Well I do," he was very close for me to start describing his tone as 'snappy' and he moved beside me, gripping my wrist tightly, "tell me who did this to you," he eyed my back as he said this and tightened his hold on my wrist as I tried to move away from him. I could feel the stinging sensation in my eyes and I didn't want to cry in front of him again.
"Zexion tell me!" he yelled as his eyes became dark with anger.
"Axel please!" I shouted and his grip immediately loosened on my wrist, tears streaming down my cheeks against my will as the memories flashed up in my mind and I threw myself against him, crying into his chest as he quickly pulled me towards him, "I-I want to tell you," I sobbed as he cradled me in his arms, "I really do," I started to gasp for air as my tears got heavier, Axel's lips pressing to the top of my head as I shook with every breath I took.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize… I'm sorry," Axel repeated over and over again as his hands rubbed my back caringly, his cheek against my forehead so that he could whisper into my ear, "I didn't mean to pressurize you," he sounded as if he was upset as well and I wrapped my arms around his waist so that we were both comforted.
We stayed in our sad embrace for a few more minuets, just enjoying being that comforted by one another, my head against Axel's chest was especially comforting as I could hear his heart beating and that was surprisingly soothing to hear, a little too soothing as I found myself almost falling asleep if it hadn't been for Axel kissing my lips as he stopped rocking us from side to side.
"Is that an apology?" I murmured as he finally pulled away and he sniggered slightly, brushing my blue hair behind my ear and I cringed at the feeling, I wasn't a girl so why do that?
"If it was would you accept it as one?" he asked with a cheeky smile returning to his face and I rolled my eyes before shrieking as he poked my sides.
"Okay, okay, I accept!" I squealed as he pinned me down and began to tickle me more, sending me into another fit of laughter, "please!" I wailed as my sides began to hurt from both my laughter and the fact that I was trying to move away from his fingers.
"Damn right you accept it!" he smirked as he finally stopped and placed his hands either side of my head and I noticed the position we were in, making my face heat up drastically as Axel moved his head down so that our lips connected again.
I smiled as I kissed him back, my arms reaching up to pull him closer as I curled my legs together shyly, my mind blurring for a second as Axel's hand moved and cupped my face.
"Thanks," I beamed as he pulled away licking his lips and replaced his hands back to either side of my head and I stared up at his calm face in silence as he began to hum randomly and I inhaled deeply to prepare myself as I rubbed the back of his neck. He deserved to know things about me…even if I didn't want him to know…I knew so many things about him, it was only fair I guess.
"Something wrong?" Axel raised his red eyebrows and blinked a few times as my hands fell heavily onto my chest and it tapped each tip of my fingers to each other.
"I trust you," I replied, "I should tell you instead of overreacting," I added with an agitated anger and Axel shook his head.
"No way, tell me when you're ready," he insisted and I glared at him.
"I want to tell you now," I whined and he laughed at my childishness and I pouted like a four year old and folded my arms across my chest.
"Man, you should make up your mind," Axel sighed as he rolled off of me as lay next to me on his bed, his fingers lacing with mine, "take your time okay," he smiled and kissed my forehead.
I chewed my bottom lip as I shivered a little, trying to block out the images as I opened my mouth, "I never knew my real parents because I grew up in care," I began as Axel's eyes softened.
"The care home was alright to begin with, the social workers there were nice enough, annoying…but nice," I swallowed hard as I squeezed Axel's hands, "I had been transferred to so many care homes that by the time I settled at my last home, I was thirteen and they put me in a room which I had to share with…" I stopped abruptly as he popped up into my head and I resisted the urge to scream, looking up as Axel put his arms around me, "with a guy called Genesis and I knew there was something not quiet right about him, he was always resisting from his book which he basically saw as another version of The Bible, he was always awake…he frightened me really and I think he knew because three d-days later," I cleared my throat to cover up my stuttering, "he started to tell me that the other kids in the home didn't like me and that no body would ever like me…he told me I was only useful as a stress relief and when I asked him what he meant… he attacked me, using his nails to cut my skin, he was a bully and everyday he would beat me up and everyday he would threaten to kill me, I was scared to sleep!" I felt my tears dancing down my cheeks, "I was so scared," I repeated, "but then a guy named Snow walked in on Genesis hitting me, he was one of the only people in the home who had a soul caring enough to help me and he rescued me from Genesis, reporting him to the social workers but they didn't believe him despite the fact he showed them the marks that Genesis had made, my marks apparently look more like rashes and they discarded it as Genesis had put on the whole 'good boy' front…they…transferred Snow to a different home after he started to lose his temper with no one believing us and I was alone again," I stopped as I heard Axel sniff and I felt my heart ache as I saw that he was crying a little bit, "Genesis continued to abuse me and he told me that I was nothing more than a puppet and that puppets didn't speak unless their handlers requested it of them…he told me to be silent, told me that nobody would want to hear what I had to say and he said that if he heard one more noise out of me, he would make sure that it would be the last noise I made," I clenched my teeth tightly, "the beatings continued and I took them silently, crying without making a sound, hating my life so much that I tried to run away from the home, obviously I was caught and Genesis just hit me harder as a 'punishment', when Vexen came to get me, it was a freaking miracle, he saved me from the nightmare I was living…but Genesis had already destroyed my trust in humanity, I didn't really trust Vexen until a year ago…and then I met you," I moved closer to Axel who was still crying and he smiled a little bit as I placed a shaky kiss on the base of his neck, "wonderful you," I sobbed as I hugged him around the neck desperately trying to be as close to him as possible as I shook. I wasn't used to opening up like that and I wasn't used to my past racing back into my mind, it caused all of my emotions to fall from my body like a everlasting flood and Axel was there to hold me together at least a tiny bit.
"God Zexion," Axel gasped as he placed soft kisses across my wet cheeks, "I'm sorry I wasn't there, I wish I was because I would have fucking ripped that guy up!" he gritted his teeth as his lips continued to place butterfly kisses on my cheeks.
"It's not your fault…it was mine," I cried and I felt him freeze against me before he roughly grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly.
"Don't you ever say that again, no way did you deserve to go through that shit, it isn't your fault, got it?" he said in a vicious way and then he quickly kissed my lips again, "I swear if I ever find your parents or Genesis…fuck who the hell could do that!" Axel growled as he pulled away from me and he sat up holding his head, "fucking humanity, beating someone up just because they think they have to right to do what ever the fuck they want, it's disgusting," he snarled and I sat up slowly as I took a hold of his arm with both of my hands which seemed to make him calm down and he turned to me with a smile.
"I love you,"
REVIEW PLEASE Another cliff hanger hahaSorry if this chapter offended anybody who is reading it, I know this sort of thing actually goes on in care homes as this chapter was actually based on a real experience that happened to my friend and he wanted me to write this to make people more aware of what goes on behind closed doors. Obviously I have interpreted it so that Genesis is the bad guy, so a few things have changed from what actually happened to him. But I hope you still enjoyed this chapter and continue to read this ^^