A/N: Welcome to the second installment of ATTACK OF THE SPERMIES! I never thought this story would be so successful, I'm overwhelmed by all this positive response. As a writer of this ~intense ~poetry ~prose, I cannot thank you enough.
Brace yourselves, we're about to delve into Duggies dark, dark, past. It gets pretty angsty, so fair warning.
ALSO! Look out for some SPERMIEPOV the next update, courtesy of an unnamed Gypsy who shall not be named (just like Voldemort) until the next update.
-PRESENT-
I remember the first time I met McGathy. It was the summer of 2003, and it was just after 2nd period gym class at the old' Atlantic High.
-2003-
It was right after a huge round of badminton, that I first noticed him.
All of the boys were getting changed in the locker room, and I was taking a dump.
During my dump, I noticed two sperm whales heading over to my toilet.
I wish they would wait- the turtle was almost out of the shell.
I noticed them because the door of the toilet was open. Don't worry- I knew the door was open the entire time...that's just the way things work around here. Kids dump in front of each other. It's is the way the cookie crumbles. Anyhow...
The two spermies advanced towards me, and as they got closer, I realised that it was not two spermies, no no no.
You see...
It was actually...
Truly...
ONE SPERMIE!
Only one spermie to be seen.
This other magnificant creature was gliding and gloriously flowing alongside McGathy, swaying in the warm sea current and glowing with power.
This other creature was McGathy's dick.
I kid you not.
His dick was almost as big as McGathy himself.
It was so big that everyone in the changing room stopped to stare at it.
It was so big that it reflected it's own visible light spectrum.
It was so big it had it's own gravitational pull- some of the smaller boys in the room were pulled to it and hovered around like a solar system.
It was so big that it reversed the speed of time, and sent it all backwards.
It was so big that it reversed this reversal of time, and made everything normal again.
Luckily.
It was so motherfucking big that it...made me hard?
Just as McGathy made his way to my toilet, and asked, "hey man, you got a spare roll?" It was then that I registered that he said 'spare'.
Spare, which rhymes with 'bare'.
Bare, which rhymes with 'pear'.
Pear, which then rhymes with 'Claire', which was the name of my outrageously hot ex-girlfriend.
It was upon this revelation that my dick sprang up, and rose a whole 60 millimetres.
I looked around the room, and without thinking screamed "HOLY FUCK MY DICK!"
The entire locker room turned around, and saw my gigantic boner- all 6 outrageous and rock hard centimetres of it, pointing up towards McGathy, thinking that his huge dick was Claire.
Ever since then I've been known as "dick licker" by the entire town.
The local newspaper even wrote an article about it:
LOCAL DUGONG NAMED DUG SPORTS MASSIVE ERECTION OVER GARGANTUAN PENIS
...I would've been okay with it if they hadn't included a picture of the erection in question.
Le sigh.
-PRESENT-
And 8 years later, the name has still stuck.
Damn dick licker.
A/N: Review my dearest sea creatures!