Chapter 2 revised as Chapters 3 (7/7/2009) & 4 (11/22/2009). Beta'd by wonkeygirl and smileismytears.
Replaced original Chapter 2 on 11/24/2009.
I might take credit for Broodward and Firecracker Bella, but Stephanie Meyer really owns them. And me. And probably you.
Chapter 3
BPOV
I walked out of class with my mind filled with a completely different strange encounter of the vampire kind. Before my move to Forks, there were a few loose ends that needed tying. Just weeks ago, I found myself in a rare 'damsel in distress' moment near the Atlantic coast.
I leaned against the hood of my car and pulled my hair out of its ponytail. The drive had taken me over two days and ended at a dead end. I wasn't even sure of my location, but I knew it was wrong. My trip to Forks was only weeks away, and I was wasting time getting lost somewhere between New Hampshire and Delaware. The road less traveled may have worked for Robert Frost, but all it did for me was get me lost. I ran my hands through my hair and let out an exasperated sigh.
I was looking for a rogue Volturi guard member and wondering why I always got sent out so far ahead of the rest of the camp. It could be hours before anyone realized I was missing. A lot can happen in a few hours. Especially when you're a seventeen year old girl lost in the woods looking for a vampire.
And of all the vampires that need finding, I was looking for a Volturi member who was M.I.A. Did anyone stop to consider this guy probably dropped off the grid on purpose? I pushed myself up onto the hood and tucked my feet underneath me Indian-style. Hopefully, someone would make the same mistake I did and end up where I was. Something rustled in woods in front of me and my body tensed in response.
Glowing, milky red eyes glowed in the darkness. I knew them anywhere. This was not the missing member. It was the leader of the Volturi. Aro emerged from the woods with Caius and Marcus not far behind. I tried not to move too quickly as I searched the surrounding trees for more vampires. My pulse started to race as I realized I may have driven myself right into a trap. Before I had the chance to speak, Aro's tranquil voice cut the tension.
"Isabella, I thought I might find you here." He smiled.
"What brings you out of Volterra and all the way to wherever it is I am?"
"Something very important, my dear. I can't trust your mother with the nature of this message and felt it was best that I lure you out here under false pretenses," he replied. The smile never left his lips.
I slid off the car and stood up straight. Marcus and Caius moved to either side of me. Aro placed his thin-skinned hands on my shoulders and stared down at me. My body reacted to his heavy touch by shivering. After a few moments, he released me and chuckled quietly.
"I'm afraid reading your mind will become an impossible aspiration of mine." He adjusted the collar of his shirt. The others' eyes were both glued to me.
"You had something you wanted to share with me?" My voice came out strong. My insides were shaking with fear and I kept waiting for my body to betray me and begin quaking.
"Ah yes. A little birdie tells me a very unusual vampire is about to find his singer. Do you know what a singer is?"
"I can't say that I do." My teeth clenched at the end of the sentence.
"As you may know, vampires can discriminate between different human scents. Yours is quite tempting and I've been waiting for the day your blood sings to the right vampire. Imagine, if you will, a vampire who is so consumed by the way you smell they can think of nothing else but sampling your life force." His forever-smiling face paired with the message he was sending made me shudder.
"Yes, I suppose it would be frightening to you. I've come to warn you that you shall soon find yourself in the very situation. Your mother tells me you're traveling to Forks. I beg you to be careful while you are there. Things are not always as they seem." He placed one hand on my shoulder and let his red eyes rove over me longer than necessary.
"And use the cold Washington weather as an excuse to cover yourself up. Particularly your pulse points," Marcus spat. I spun around quickly to gawk at him. In almost ten years, I never heard Marcus utter a single sentence.
"Take care of yourself, Isabella. It would be a shame to lose someone with so much potential." Aro's last statement was aimed at his two henchmen.
"What about the missing guard member?" I called out as the three men made their way to leave.
"Just an excuse to make the other Keepers let you alone," he chuckled and kept walking.
I hardly noticed that Mike had accompanied me out of Physics and all the way to my French class. I definitely didn't hear anything Mike said until he stopped us just short of my classroom, and demanded my full attention.
"What do you think, Bella?" He touched my arm and it took every last bit of my restraint not to repulse at his touch. Or kick the shit out of him. If I could kill someone with my mind right now, it would be Mike Newton.
"About what, Mike?" I yanked my arm back and looked at him.
"About La Push. You in? I'm thinking bonfire and a keg." He got all starry-eyed, and I wondered if he was thinking about all the drunken girls that would soon be wooed by his future white-collar criminal smile.
"I'm not really much for parties," I sighed and his whole face dropped. Hello? Chief of Police's daughter, here!
"Think about it, new girl. It might do you some good to loosen up." He smirked as he turned on his heel.
Loosen up? I'm plenty loose!
The door to French clicked behind me as the last bell sounded. I took a seat in the back of the room next to a girl I recognized from lunch. What's her name? Ann? Angelina? Andrea? While Madame Fake-French-Accent prattled on about what to expect in fourth year French, I tried to recall the name of the dark haired waif-like girl next to me. As my good luck would have it, the teacher called on her. Angela! I knew it started with an A!
I tried hard to pay attention and to verb conjugation. Unfortunately, spending an hour in Edward's presence ruined me for the rest of the day. I kept thinking about Aro's words, things are not always as they seem. Edward was definitely not like any other vampire I ever encountered. As the last meeting with Aro slowly faded from my thoughts, it became clear that I had a pretty strong effect on Edward. The teacher droned on about the different ways the French say they are going, and I thought about where he went. Où allez-vous, Edward? Several students turned around to glare at me when my absent-minded pencil tapping spiraled out of control.
A welcome distraction came in the form of partnering up and talking about our summers in broken French. I spent the summer dreading the move to Forks and stomping around my Arizona apartment like a huffy little girl. Oh, and I spent about two weeks in intensive training for said dreaded move to Forks. And how was your summer? Angela turned to me and gave a weak smile. Just because she hangs out with Lauren and Jessica doesn't mean she's just like them.
Angela was nothing like the Barbie twins. We moved quickly through the list of questions the teacher wanted us to write about and drifted between awkward silence and forced conversation. She offered a few bland details about herself. Her boyfriend, Ben, went to Washington State this fall. Jessica had been her BFF since they fought over the pink crayon in kindergarten. Angela had plans to go to some conservative Christian school for college. I offered some details about myself in return. We had a brief conversation about Jane Austen novels. After about ten minutes of enduring painfully boring small talk, we got down to business.
"I heard about what happened in Physics." She stared down at the table.
"Edward Cullen acting like a circus freak? From what I hear, that behavior is normal for him." I shrugged. Cue dramatic eye roll.
"He bolted right after class." Angela looked up and her eyes met mine.
"Bolted?"
"He and Alice had some kind of argument. The entire freshman hallway was all upset about it. He was pushing them out of the way and yelling."
Who knew sexy high school vampires were such divas?
"Maybe his favorite band broke up," I suggested as I added the remaining accents to my class work.
"He's never been rude to me, but he is so strange," she whispered and returned her eyes back to the table.
"He's kind of loaner, isn't he?"
"He's always stuck pretty close to the rest of his family. Especially Alice and Jasper," she replied quietly.
I wanted to squeeze more information out of her but the bell rang. Like last period, French ended just when it started to get interesting. Talk about Edward's dramatic exit started to trickle down to the rest of the student body. Everyone kept staring at me as I walked down the halls. In an effort to avoid a Lauren Mallory's group of mean girls, I turned around quickly to head in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, the turn was too quick and I ran right into A/V Eric. My surprise at being in his arms made me jump and stumble backward. I almost fell. Heat spread across my cheeks and I ducked my head down. Mike Newton met me around the corner and assaulted me with more mindless chatter.
"You think some more about coming out to La Push for the first party of the year?" Mike jabbed me in the ribs and I tried to hold myself back from castrating him.
"Put me on the guest list for the second party of the year," I replied and increased the distance between us so he couldn't jab me anymore.
"Bella, Bella, Bella. You're new here. Use it as an opportunity to make new friends." He was struggling to keep up with me and had to break into a light jog.
"Ugh. Fine. If it will get you to leave me alone, I will come to the bonfire," I sighed and added a polite smile.
"Awesome." Mike winked and left me standing outside my class.
I walked into art class and twenty pairs of eyes zeroed in on me. A few girls talked in hushed voices in the back of the room. Several boys were trying, in vain, to point me out to each other. Somehow, I got linked to Edward's disappearing act. I hate being the new kid. I took a seat in between two empty chairs and a girl turned around and glared at me. I'd hate me too. I just chased away the only decent looking guy in this place. The attention was making me uncomfortable. I fidgeted in my seat trying hard not to blush. Before they could gear up with pitchforks and torches, class started.
A grueling hour was spent discussing the anatomy of a camera, the difference between varying green hues and whether or not it was Eric Yorkie's boxer shorts flying from the flag pole this afternoon. I needed a distraction. Out of desperation, I began thinking about Mike's La Push bonfire. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. At the very least, I'd get to see some Forks High's finest at their worst. That thought brought an evil smile to my face. The teacher dismissed class a few minutes early; which was good for me because I was running out of ways to occupy myself.
Fate intervened on my behalf. Mike was nowhere to be found when I strode out of art class and down the hall to gym. I was at my locker stuffing books into my backpack when I felt eyes on my back. I turned around and the back of my sweatshirt got caught on my locker. I dropped some books as a result. Alice bent down to pick them up. She was tiny. Even my 5'4" frame seemed to tower over hers. She held my books out to me in what seemed like a peace offering.
"I'm Alice." She smiled and waited for me to take my books.
"Bella." My eyebrow rose as I took them. I tossed them both back in my locker and slammed the door shut.
"I wanted to apologize on behalf of my brother, Edward."
Without another word, Alice was gone. The day had pretty much reached optimal what-the-fuck levels. I picked up back pack and swung on my shoulder. Mike Newton still hadn't managed to find me and talk my ear off, so I high tailed it to gym class. Under normal circumstances, I looked forward to gym. However, after two embarrassingly clumsy moments in less than five minutes, I wasn't sure Gym would bring me any relief.
The locker room smelled like competing brands of vanilla musk and over-ripe fruit. I picked a locker I figured would be pretty solitary. Lauren and Jessica rolled shortly after me and took two lockers across from mine. Since I was already dressed, I didn't bother to hang around and admire their too-short gym outfits. Instead, I went up to class a few minutes early. To take advantage of the sorta-warm weather, Coach Clapp had us running laps outside. I managed to make it to the third lap before Jessica and Mike caught up to me.
"So, Mike tells me that you sat next to Edward Cullen in Physics." She grinned stupidly at me.
"I did. He's not that interesting." I kept jogging.
"You should have seen the expression on his face, Jess! He looked like a terrorist at Guantanamo Bay." Mike laughed between inhales and I joined in. Only because his analogy was pretty close.
"He's quiet but nice to look at." Jessica pursed her lips and stuck her chest out.
"He's alright, I guess." He was more than alright, but that wasn't the point.
"Thank you!" Mike threw his arms up in the air and I stopped to stare at him.
"Mike's just surprised to hear someone with a vagina say that Cullen is only alright." She raised her eyebrows at me.
I wanted to tell Mike that vampires are supposed to be irresistible. It's kind of the point of their species. But I had to consider my audience. I also wanted to tell Jessica that her face was going to freeze that way if she wasn't careful. Instead, I continued to make excuses for not finding Edward attractive.
"He's no Jared Leto," I replied. Though I bet he'd look pretty nice in black eyeliner…
"All I'm saying is I don't get what all the Cullen hype is," Mike managed to interject between breaths. Jessica and I had started jogging and he had trouble keeping up.
"Yeah right, you totally had a boner for that blonde girl." Jessica backhanded him in the stomach and he wheezed.
I broke into a run and was relieved when they made no attempt to follow me. No one else tried to talk to me for the rest of the class. When the bell finally said it was the end of the day, I took my time going back to the locker room. The entire day was bizarre and I looked forward to going home and cooking dinner. I was so excited to get home I almost didn't hear the voices coming from the locker room. The only thing that stopped me from barging in was the sound of my name. My foot propped the door open about a half inch and I peered in. Jessica and Lauren, go figure. Gossipy little skanks.
"New girl is totally hiding something," Jessica told Lauren, matter of factly. "I think she's a lesbian, because like, what woman would ever say Edward Cullen is just alright. That's criminal."
"Yeah, and did you hear about him leaving? He spends an hour with her and he's already taking off. Why did you even let her sit by us?" Lauren was combing her over-processed hair.
"God, Lauren. She's new and getting, like, so much attention. Don't we get tons off attention just by letting her sit by us? I totally know what I'm doing."
"She must be pretty creepy if she scared off the weirdest guy at school on her first day." Lauren knotted her hair up and waited for Jess to agree.
"Maybe he just cut. They cut all the time, Lauren," Jessica stammered. She was trying to hold her own against Lauren. It was like watching the Discovery channel. Things are about to get real!
"Whatever. If you want to sit with that freak at lunch, fine. It's bad enough we let Angela sit with us," Lauren answered as she crossed her arms and leered at the other blonde.
"O-M-G, Lauren. Ang is like, my BFF." Jessica thrashed around in was a mini-tantrum.
Since Angela was the only person I had met today that didn't make me want to hang myself from the climbing rope in the gym, I had to step in and roll the credits on their Gossip Girl episode. I banged the door loudly behind me and tromped through the locker room dramatically until I reached my locker. Both girls watched me with tight lips and narrowed eyes as I dialed my combination. By the time my locker was open, I had come up with the perfect way to give those girls something to talk about. You think I'm a freak now, Lauren. Just wait five minutes!
I arched my back as I lifted my shirt up over my head. My eyes met Lauren's and I gave her a shy smile. Her eyes darted quickly to Jessica. Standing in just my bra and shorts, I slid the shorts down past my hips. Jessica was blushing wildly and I heard a locker door slam shut. Pretending to be startled, I let my shorts drop to my ankles. I kicked my shoes off and noticed both girls were staring at me. My hairbrush fell out of my locker and I dramatically bent over to pick it up. In a thong. I heard two pairs of feet stomp out of the locker room and the door shut quickly behind them. Have a good afternoon, ladies!
My hopes of flying under the radar were crushed but it was worth it. I pulled my tank top on and wondered if the gossip from the locker room would be replaced by something more interesting by next week. I got into my jeans and figured the whole school already heard about had happened. Knowing those two, the principal already got the memo. My shoes slipped on and I threw my sweatshirt over my head as I ducked out of the locker room. I joined a pack of students who were already heading out to the parking lot. My plan was to avoid any unwanted attention, specifically if it came from Mike Newton. I was safely inside my truck before anyone had time to notice me. Except for Alice.
Alice sat on the trunk of the yellow Porsche and Jasper bowed his head to meet hers. They both looked up at the same time and spotted me. My cheeks burned with the embarrassment of being caught staring. He kissed her on the forehead and jumped into the driver's seat of a really dirty yet awesomely huge jeep. She smiled, waved at me and hopped off the back of the Porsche. I thought she was going to talk to me, but she got into her car instead. I realized the car parked between the Porsche and the Jeep was gone. Maybe it was Edward's? I didn't remember much about the missing car. If Alice's was any indication as to what kind of vehicles the Cullen's preferred, Edward's must have been wicked fast.
I started the truck and pulled out of the school parking lot. My mother sent me texts all day that asked for constant first day updates. Briefly, I contemplated calling her. I opted for going home and telling my dad about my day first. Somehow, I owed him that much. A cool breeze wafted through my open window. It took me most of the drive home, but I got a decent Seattle radio station to come in. The truck idled in the driveway for a minute or so before I cut the engine. Home sweet home. I snatched up my back pack and the morning's empty coffee cup. Charlie was waiting for me on the stoop. I smiled. The dynamic between Charlie and me was comforting.
"How was your first day, kiddo?"
"I'm alive," I sighed. He took my bag and opened the door.
"Let me know if you want me to arrest anyone," he teased.
"Will do." He took a seat on the couch, and I passed him and went straight to the kitchen.
I needed to cook. It was like meditation to me. Soup was on tonight's menu. That decision was made by the inventory, or lack thereof, in Charlie's cupboards. My phone vibrated and the caller id indicated it was my mom, again. I ignored it and silenced my phone. My mind went into overdrive as I chopped onions and browned hamburger. Pinches of oregano were added between short spurts of reflection. The day had not gone as planned, at all. And yet, I was satisfied.
"I hope you call her after dinner," Charlie finally said.
"I will, dad. She just gets too overbearing," I stirred the pot and turned to look at him. "Sometimes, I have to remind her that I need some boundaries. She's been calling since school let out."
"Did you make any friends today?" Charlie asked between questioning looks.
"Yeah, I met this girl named Angela. She was pretty cool. A guy named Mike invited me to a party on the beach." I ignored his stiff expression in response to the party.
"It's not so bad here, is it?"
"No, it's not," I told the truth. Things could be worse, and at least there were the Cullens to make things interesting.
We ate dinner in companionable silence. Charlie insisted on clearing the dishes so I could call my mom. Before I hit the first step to head upstairs, Charlie assured me that we would talk about the La Push party later. I chuckled on my way up to my room. The door shut behind me and I turned my radio on. Not that I didn't trust Charlie, but sometimes it's easiest to evade than explain. My room was dark, so I saw my phone light up for Renee's call. Dutifully, I answered on my way across the room to turn the lights on.
"Hey Mom," I tried to sound cheerful as I plopped onto my bed.
Why haven't you answered any of my calls, I've been so worried—blah blah blah. I fell back against my pillows and let my mother yap on about how I should have called her after school. After I politely reminded her I could take care of myself and was almost an adult, she finally got to her point and the reason she really called me a million times. My almost-adulthood. The big 1-8. My birthday, which would happen the following Saturday, was a big deal. Especially to my mother.
I could care less about presents and parties. I don't remember ever having one and I wasn't a big fan of birthday cake, either. The only birthday present I remembered was the one I got when I turned 16; which was a car from a vampire. Renee kept insisting that we have a small celebration. Or that I at least let her come to Forks and take me out for a nice dinner. She was probably hiding something from me. She tended to push too hard when she wasn't being completely honest.
"Look, let's not make a big deal out of it," I sighed when she reminded me what a huge rite of passage it was. But Bella, its part of who you are. The part of you that came from me. I could almost feel the guilt oozing out of the phone.
"Come here, then. But don't bring a whole camp with you, okay? I embarrassed myself enough today. I don't need any outside help," I flipped on to my stomach and waited for her to coddle me. She didn't. I respect that. She told me she respected that. My mother hasn't respected a single thing in her life. Rules, boundaries, guidelines, personal space, direct orders—name it and Renee has blatantly disregarded it. Before I could inquire about the change of character, she abruptly told me good night. You need all the beauty rest you can get, my dear. I was sure that was an insult, but I took the opportunity to get off the phone.
I rolled back over and stared at the ceiling for awhile. A cold breeze from my open window sent a shiver down my back and I sat up to shut it. Once it was locked, I sat on my window sill and stared out into the woods. It wasn't until the sky's shades of purples and oranges turned into a monochromatic navy that I was able to pull away. Homework calls. I scanned the yard before I dropped the curtains and settled at my desk. In between equations, I thought about what I would say to Edward if he was at school the next day. Somewhere between Newton's Law and The Great Depression, I fell asleep.
Everything was black. Then it was fuzzy, like television static. A melodic voice called out to me. Bella! Bella!My mouth opened and shut. I tried to yell but I was completely muted. The fuzziness started to focus and the yelling got louder. Bella! Bella! I threw my arms out in front of me in search of the voice. An overwhelming sense of danger moved me, but the urgency of the voice pulled me in. Bella! Bella! I stumbled in the darkness. Something was in my way. The voice was getting louder and more frantic. My hands felt their way up the obstacle and I felt a strong nose…a face. I screamed. Bella! Bella! Bella? Are you hurt? I could hardly hear the words over my own screams. The strong nosed person grabbed me by my wrists and pulled me close. Red eyes opened and eyed me carefully. A hand left a wrist and clamped over my mouth. Bella! Where are you? Bella? Are you hurt?I was still screaming but could only hear the voice calling for me. The hand holding my other wrist wrapped around my torso and pulled me quickly. Too quickly. I felt the bile rising in my throat. Bella! Answer me! Where are you? Everything went black.
I was screaming when I woke up. My body immediately bolted out of the bed and ran down to the bathroom. My head hung in the toilet before I had a chance to process what was going on. If Charlie was home, he would have heard me. After I vomited, I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth. I looked like hell. I ran the shower and walked back to my room for a towel. My alarm clock read 7:05. I snatched my towel and went back to my shower.
Stripping down, I took another look at myself in the mirror. My hair stuck up all over my head. The circles under my eyes were much darker than usual and the eyes themselves were bloodshot. I ran a brush through my hair before jumping into the shower. The warm water tried to wash the nightmare away. I sincerely hoped I never had to experience another dream like it.
I didn't bother checking my reflection after the shower. Dressed in jeans and sweatshirt and armed with my book bag, I bounded down the stairs. I stopped in the kitchen for a pop tart and wondered if I was going to be late for class every day.
There wasn't enough time to chide the Chevy's loud engine. No one was in the parking lot when I rolled in. I parked next to Alice's yellow Porsche because it was the only spot open. The Cullens were nowhere to be seen. I wasn't surprised. They were probably in class. I broke into a run in order to make it to Lit before the last bell, which I did. I was seated next to Mike Newton as the final chimes played.
I knew Edward wasn't there. I could feel it. Instead of worrying about Edward, I spent the day avoiding Jessica and Lauren and listening to Mike talk about Saturday's party. My stomach still churned from the nightmare, so I stayed in the library during lunch.
The rest of the week went the same. Mike and I talked between classes. Jessica, Lauren and I rarely crossed paths. I stayed in the library during lunch. Edward remained absent. Angela and I became friends. Study friends, anyway. Alice and Jasper never ran into me and I never saw them. But I knew they were there. Alice's car was there every day.
But even though every day was the same as the last, I still hoped Edward would be waiting for me in Physics.
And every night, I hoped the nightmares would stop too.
Chapter 4
EPOV
I was losing my mind.
I sat in the driver's seat of the Volvo and stared at the steering wheel. My senses were in overdrive and I knew I needed to leave. In fact, I wanted to leave. Scenes of carnage and destruction continued to flash through my mind. How many people would I have to kill to be able to enjoy the satisfaction of tasting her blood? It depended on where I decided to go through with it.
I needed to leave. But then she came into view.
"I wonder what a guy's gotta do to tap the police chief's daughter." The familiar voice of Mike Newton caught my attention and I looked up.
Her hair whipped across her face as she spun to glare at Mike and her steady pulse filled my head. Have to have her. Have to have her. It would be easy. Easier than Mike's conquest, I imagined. I was the world's most charming predator. I could have her alone in seconds.
She would enjoy it. Mostly likely, she would enjoy it more than anything Mike had to offer. Unfortunately for her, she would be dead by the end of our time together.
Mike Newton and I shared a similar dilemma. We both wanted the dark-haired, fair-skinned Isabella Swan. As much as I wanted to find offense in his wanton fantasies, I knew my own bloodlust was comparable to his silly sexual desires. "Bella, Bella, Bella." Her name rolling off his tongue made the muscles in my shoulders clench. The center console cracked underneath my hand. A loud growl escaped my chest and echoed in the car.
My hand reached for the door handle. She wasmine, not Mike's. And what did I care about Mike, anyone. He was simply another thorn in my side. Collateral damage in my mission to have Bella. My phone rang in my pocket. I ignored it and opened the door.
Her scent was instantly stronger. The fresh smell of freesia consumed me. The sweetness clung to my tongue and I felt the venom pool in my throat. Have to have her. Have to have her. I slunk around the cars in the parking lot and got closer to them. Her pulse pounded in my head and began to vibrate through my body.
I was too late. She slipped into her classroom as Mike smirked and walked away. An entire classroom was too much. Carlisle would never forgive me. Alice would never forgive me. I moved from the parking lot and leaned against the building. My phone continued to ring and I wondered when Alice or Jasper would come out and drag me away.
I needed to be stopped.
My mind wandered to what I would say to her when she came out. I supposed it didn't matter too much. It wouldn't take much to convince her she wanted to leave with me. No one could resist me. In theory, at least.
I vaguely registered Alice's voice telling me to go back to my car.
Bella came out of her class few minutes later, looking over her shoulder. It was the perfect moment. She hadn't seen me. I could walk up next to her, apologize for my undesirable behavior in Physics class and offer to take her out for coffee. Darting between parked cars and dark corners, I followed her back to the main building.
She stopped just before she entered pushed the doors opened and stiffened. I began to slink around the parking lot to approach her before she slipped back inside. There was no fear in her moment of hesitation. She reached for the handle in front of her and cocked her head slightly.
I hesitated. Not because Alice's voice was ringing in my head. Not even because the constant vibration of Alice's warning texts were starting to echo in the lot. I hesitated because I wanted to know what she was thinking. Why had she stopped?
For the time being, Bella was safe. Momentarily, I was more interested in understanding her than bleeding her dry. Of course, Alice's quick approach at Bella's locker helped her too. She not so kindly told me to get out and go see Carlisle. I returned to the Volvo, ignored the cracked center console, and sped off to the hospital.
The clock flashed to 2:14 as I turned the corner. Carlisle would still be at the hospital, and I knew he would be upset if I left without talking to him. He'd try to convince me to stay. Then he'd concede and agree I was doing the right thing. Another incoming text from Alice reminded me I was doing the right thing.
It was one thing to be surrounded by people who love you. There was an all encompassing feeling of guilt that accompanied a band of vampires that love you unconditionally, even though you're constantly dragging their un-beating hearts along with your fleeting whims. And apparent uncontrollable blood lust for short brunettes named Isabella Swan.
My foot eased off the gas and I parked next to Carlisle's black Mercedes in the physician lot. Several of the nurses on their cigarette break compared my appearance to my father's. Jessica Stanley's mother wondered if my sexuality was the reason I hadn't taken her daughter out. I kept my head down as passed them on my way in.
"Hey Edward," the receptionist greeted as I laid my palms flat on the front desk.
"Hello Lindsey. Is my father in his office?" My fingers tapped quickly while I waited for her answer. She clicked the mouse several times then checked the files next to her.
"He should be in his office. Do you want me to let him know you're here?" Her fingers stopped typing and she looked at me.
"No, he'll be expecting me. Thank you." I tried not move too quickly through the halls, but the increasing anticipation of facing Carlisle was making it difficult.
I stood outside his office. Only his thoughts were present, so I knew he would be alone. After a deep, dramatic breath, I knocked.
As I anticipated, he was expecting me. His golden eyes were kind when he opened the door, but his mouth was pressed into a tight smile.
"Edward, Alice let me know you'd be stopping by." He held the door open and I brushed past him.
"I have a situation," I sighed as I dropped into a chair.
"It must be serious if you're seeking my counsel."
"I was stalking a girl, Carlisle. The one that Alice has been on about for the last few weeks." My shoulders slumped and my head fell to my knees.
"You know I will always support you in any way that I can."
"I was stalking her. I haven't stalked a person in seventy years. Do you not think this is a problem?" My head shot up and I stared at him.
"If there was something dire to come of this, wouldn't Alice see it?
"I don't know what to do," I sighed while I ran my hands were hastily through my hair. "On one hand, I can't stop thinking of ways to get her alone and slaughter her. And how satisfying it would be, after the torture she's put me through." I locked my hands behind my head and rested my elbows on my knees. "Not to mention that I can't read her mind."
"So you've decided to leave?"
"I need to put as much distance as I can between the Swan girl and myself," I sighed. There really was no other option. I could lock myself in my room for the rest of the year, but Alice would probably bring the illustrious scent with her.
After all, Alice had apologized to Bella on my behalf. It was only a matter of time before they would bond over Alice's asshole brother while having sleepovers and painting each other's toenails.
Then I'd creep out of my bedroom, grab one of Bella's freshly braided pig-tails and sink my teeth into her dainty neck.
"I have to go." I shook my head and stood up.
"Please consider going home and thinking it through," he called as I shut the door behind me.
On my way back to the Volvo, I ignored the curious stares and far-fetched thoughts. The clock on the dash read 3:05 and I slumped into the seat before I started the car. Was it really only eight hours ago was I dreading another repeat of a terribly boring senior year? I ran my hand across my face and realized I didn't care much for excitement. My phone rang before I could spiral into a destructive reflective state.
"Alice," I sighed.
"I wish you'd make up your mind," she hissed.
"Well, I wish you'd let me alone long enough to think about anything," I snapped back.
"Come home, there's going to be a family meeting tonight."
"Please. Just, stay," she pleaded.
"Alright. I'll come home, but I'm not promising I'll stay."
She gave a sigh of satisfaction and said good-bye before she hung up the phone.
The evening at home went as expected. Jasper poked fun at me relentlessly, his southern accent creeping into each punch line. Alice lingered at my side, chanting something in Italian to herself. Esme tried not to pry, but felt desperate over the prospect of my leaving. Rosalie had worked herself into a tantrum and Emmett spent most of the time calming her down. A shriek wafted through the house and seemed to settle at the dining room table. Their thoughts all bombarded me at once, and I didn't know where to start. I blinked several times and waited for someone to open up the floor for discussion.
"You didn't kill her, you know?" Jasper started, his thoughts replaying several of his early misdeeds as he looked at me with mock sincerity. As if to say I was being dramatic.
"And you won't. You've finally resolved to that much," Alice sniffed.
I began to wonder why I agreed to stay this long. It was becoming abundantly clear they were going to chastise me into submission. My fingers gripped my hair and I shook my head, waiting for Esme and Carlisle to add fuel to the fire.
"You need to do what's best for you, dear." Esme smiled but it wasn't convincing. Carlisle placed a hand on her shoulder for support. His thoughts mimicked his early sentiments in his office.
It was worse than facing a firing squad. Every person I'd ever cared about sat in front of me and waited expectantly for me to decide to stay. Emmett came stomping down the stairs with Rosalie close behind, taking some of the attention off of me. Rose marched to the table and nudged her way between Alice and Esme, directly across from me. Her palms gently hit the table and she leaned forward.
"Get your shit together, Edward. She is an insignificant human girl. You're almost a century old vampire. Why is there a discussion? Alice already said you weren't going to kill her. Man up and deal with your problems for once." The harshness of her words was followed by her patented 'too fake' smile.
Emmett gave me a sympathetic nod, while the rest of the thoughts seemed to be at odds. Jasper and Emmett seemed to agree with Rose. I needed to get my proverbial shit together. Alice and Esme were too concerned with the chance that I might leave to fully appreciate Rose's tirade.
"Are we done now?" I sighed.
"You haven't decided yet." Alice crossed her arms and sank into the dining room chair. Her thoughts flashed through possible outcomes.
Me alone in what I supposed was the frozen Alaskan tundra. Another one where I was locked in my room until graduation. A strangely low-light vision of myself sitting across from Bella, with light flickering across her face. The last vision was the most confusing; I was sitting in a strange kitchen with Jasper and Alice on either side of me.
"Enough. I'll be in my room," I sighed. I was defeated in the truest sense of the word. The lingering thoughts of the family followed me up the stairs.
With the door shut behind me, I turned the stereo on. Eric Clapton's voice filled the room and acid guitar of "White Room" made me forget about Rosalie's words. Unfortunately, with every caress of the frets, Bella's presence permeated my mind.
I wondered if her porcelain skin was a silky as it looked. Or if she was a deep as her eyes made her look. I was being ridiculous and Rose was right. She was an insignificant human girl. Not even the most attractive insignificant human girl. Maybe her hair looked like it might be the softest thing I'd ever touched. Sure, her jeans did wonders for her lower half. But, it's not like brown-haired, brown-eyed mousy little girls weren't a dime a dozen. Just because she wasn't the blonde, tanned brand, didn't mean she was unique.
Did it? Why did I care? I didn't.
Did I?
I stayed in my room for the duration of the week, only leaving to hunt with Emmett. Alice avoided contact, presumably because her visions would only worsen my mood. Jasper took to reciting American generals and all of their greatest battles. I assumed Alice had shared some information with him that she was not planning on sharing with me. Esme and Carlisle made a painstaking effort not to discuss or think about me locked in my room.
Sometime early Saturday morning, after Emmett and Rose left to romp a new house to ruins, Alice knocked on my door. She made no effort to conceal her thoughts. I gave her a smug smile when I opened my door, expecting her to unburden her recently undisclosed thoughts. Instead, she looked distraught. Almost panicked.
"It's been difficult to get a clear picture of Bella's future. At first, I thought maybe it was because she has too much unbridled potential," a dry laugh escaped her mouth. "I just can't get anything concrete. It's like I'm seeing her through paparazzi stills."
"And it is important! So don't ask me why I care," Alice thought.
"Try again, let me see," I offered as I ushered her into my sanctuary.
Several minutes passed before she was able to see anything. At first, everything was blank and fuzzy. The scenes moved like changing channels. First station—nothing. Second station—I was standing along the highway. Third station—Mike Newton had his dirty hands all over Bella.
Acoustic sounding college music played in the background. They were on a beach at night, the moon was bright and the water glowed. Bonfires lined up and down the sand and groups of people gathered around each one. Lauren and Jessica sat at one fire while Bella, Mike and Tyler sat at another. Mike kept draping his arm around her and she kept shrugging it off.
The music changed and I heard the strangely familiar sound of the piano bass as The Doors began to play. The scene went fuzzy again and went in and out of focus. Bella was dancing, then blurry, then dancing, then blurry. Her feet were getting stuck in the sand and she kept tripping and laughing. It was blurry again and then she was holding a red cup. The vision blurred once more, when it became clear Mike and Tyler were alone looking sullen.
"La Push," Alice said after taking a deep breath.
"What on Earth is she doing at La Push?" My tone was sharp, whether it was out of irritation that she was hanging out with Mike and Tyler or that I cared who she was hanging out with at all.
"I don't know." Alice shook her head, trying to clear her mind. "The blurs are probably phased wolves." She shrugged.
"Already?"
"The nomads are getting too close. The high body count probably put the tribe on edge. Maybe she has an affiliation with the Quileutes and that's why I can't see her." Alice visibly relaxed at her new revelation.
"Unbelievable! She's been here for two weeks, Alice. How can she possibly run into both vampires and werewolves in two weeks?!" How can I possibly care whom Bella Swan chooses to spend her time with?
"I told you she was special." Alice smirked and left me sitting alone.
Special indeed.
This undeniable urge to keep Bella safe bubbled inside of me. I hardly knew her, yet I felt she needed to be protected. How I felt I was qualified for that particular task was beyond me. I was probably the most dangerous thing out there, save for the nomads roaming the hiking trails. And she didn't look like the hiking type. There was only one way to clear my mind. If traces of her could be wiped from it, at least. I left the house through my patio door and headed to the only place that granted me serenity, my meadow.
No thoughts could reach me there. I basked in the silence for a moment and I tried think about anything that didn't involve sweet smelling girls from Physics class. Avoiding her only reminded me about the way her eyes flicked up to mine as I entered the cafeteria and the way her pulse thrummed above everything else. I sat straight up and growled in frustration.
The sun was beginning to settle in the morning sky. My skin glittered and I unbuttoned my shirt and stared at myself. Not in admiration, but in disgust. Mine was the skin of a killer. I was a monster. No amount of penance was going to change that. The warmth from the sun felt nice on my cold skin. My body's prisms caught the sunlight and reflected in different directions.
Don't you love her madly? The song from Alice's vision floated through my head. Don't you need her badly? I couldn't help but feel betrayed by Jim Morrison himself. The woman I was trying desperately not to kill was dancing to The Doors with a god damned werewolf. Don't you love her ways. Jim would find this entire ordeal extraordinarily poetic. Tell me what you say. I thought about the way her hips twisted and her arms rose above her head. And the way she tossed her head back and laughed whenever her feet got stuck in the sand and made her stumble. Don't you love her madly? The way she disappeared with that stupid dog. Wanna be her daddy. What a fucking disaster. She was this beautiful, fragile creature who sat next to vampires in science class and partied with werewolves on the weekend. Don't you love her face? And I was the sick killer who wanted nothing but to protect her. Or take her as my own. Don't you love her as she's walking out the door? I hated it when Alice was right. She was changing every-fucking-thing. Like she did a million times before.
The self-loathing lion sought to save the fearless lamb.