A/N: I can't say thank you enough.

024. 'Not There'

He was sure that tonight was going to turn into another sleepless night. He tossed in his bed and tried to ignore the bed springs that had managed to jab him in the back. He groaned and wished that she was still with him. He frowned when he smelled just the slightest bit of gunpowder and something sweeter. Vanilla? He really couldn't put a name to it. His body ached and wished that the weather would lighten up so maybe, just maybe, she would vist him because oh, how he missed her.

He sighed at the rememberance of a week ago when she had come to visit him. He felt ashamed for she having to see him the way he had been. He remembered how all she had to do was say his name, and oh how she said it so desperatly, pleading for him and he fell apart. He had told himself over and over again that he wouldn't pull her down with him, but he knew that he could never promise himself that. He had kissed her because he was just looking for someone to prove to him that wasn't alone. And oh, how it surprised him when she had kissed him back and he wanted oh so much more, but he didn't want to for he was afraid. But, he couldn't control himself and he felt both of their emotions turning in the wrong direction.

He shoke the memory away, for he didn't want to remember what had happened afterwards; how she had started crying and how he was confused. He wished there were telephone lines this far north so he could call her. He craved her voice. He just wanted to hear her accidently slip his name into the conversation. He just wanted to hear her sighed and say everything's going to be fine, even though he knew that she was pinching herself to keep from crying.

She couldn't sleep, for it was hard to when she was thinking so hard. She felt Hayate nuzzling her leg, but she ignored the dog. She sighed and went back into her bedroom, hoping that she could sleep. She wondered if he ever got cold up in the North or if he ever thought of her. For oh how she missed him. He had told her not to tell anyone of her vistiting him and she kept her word. But she wanted to tell everyone so badly that she had to bite her tongue so she wouldn't slip his name into a conversation.

She had told him that she would visit soon, but now she was dreading it because things were going downhill. It was an avalache and she could never ever stop it. She didn't have any faith but she had prayed ever so hard that this wasn't happening. She couldn't breathe. Inhale. Exhale. She wished that she didn't have to tell him face to face she would much rather prefer telling him over the phone, there weren't any phone lines where he was. She didn't want next week to come because then he would notice how her eyes had circles beneath them. And she couldn't lie to him because he would know that she would be lying.

She had it all planed out in her head. She pictured him smiling at her, but then noticing the bags she had under her eyes. And she knew that probably just coming out with it wouldn't be a good choice, but she knew she wouldn't want her to tell him. Then she would stop herself from picturing it any farther because she knew that when she told him that he would be worried what they would do because it was not supposed to happen this way. But then there was just the slightest chance that he would grin and put a hand on her stomach and tell her that he was glad.

I didn't use the preview. My mind ran wild on this, but I rather like it. By the way if you couldn't tell Riza's pregnant.

Review please? ^^