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The leaves of the trees had turned colors for the fall and since the last time Kaname had had any contact with the red head. For Momomi, who had yet to found out who Kaname was spending her time with, it was a good thing. The brunette had rejoiced when her lover had stopped running off to who knows where. She also liked how Kaname seemed to be the same as always, moody, but maybe more so. She knew something was wrong with her though, but she concluded that it had something to do with Amane. Or she would have firmly concluded it was because of Amane, but she couldn't help but ponder over her conversation with Shion.
The brunette liked her blonde president well enough, but she didn't like how the girl was so obsessed with Amane like her lover was. Why is it that it's always Amane? Although Momomi was pretty popular and many people liked her beauty, she hated the fact that most of her peers would rather faint at the sight of Amane instead of her. Of course, she also thought the Amane fans should have treated her Kaname with much passion. On the other hand, she would have been jealous as well because didn't want anyone to take away her love, respect her, yes, want as a lover, no.
Although she loved the taller girl immensely, she also hated that the fact that Kaname seemed think about Amane a great deal and knew so much about her. Somehow it disturbed her, but she had let it passed with how Kaname explained how she just wanted to keep an eye on the competition. The fact is Momomi did indeed want to be Etoile with Kaname. She thought it would be a brilliant way to get closer to her girl and rub Amane's face in it. Most importantly, she had hoped it would ease her lover's mind to where the short haired girl would stop being so obsessed with the Prince of Spica. She knew her reasons were selfish, but she didn't care, well almost didn't. She still respected the title of Etoile and what it stood for, but it was the furtherest thing from her mind.
The thing which kept occupying her mind the most was Kaname and her unusual demeanor with addition to what Shion had said. She thought of all the girls who might have caught her lover's eye, but the only one who stood out to be the most logical choice was Amane's Hikari. The girl is cute, I'll give you that, but she seems too needy. Oh, and her voice is just too dang high that it makes my skin crawl. Her hair is lovely and she has a certain innocent about her, making her too sweet and me going into a sugar coma. I don't believe Kaname would fall for a girl like her. Besides, Kaname is far too much woman for the likes of such a pansy; she needs someone like me.
Those were the thoughts that passed through Momomi during the time Kaname resumed her usual actions. As for the Kaname herself, she hated herself for even getting involved with the red head. Try as she might, she couldn't figure out what she really wanted with her. At first it was just to apologize. However, when she had been forgiven, she found she wanted to spend more time with the girl. Soon it began to totally mess with her mind.
She knew she had Momomi as a lover, but she knew she didn't love her fully, since had a huge crush on Amane, to whom she would have given anything to be with her once, yet she knew it was pointless. The fact is she did her best in everything just so Amane would notice her; the horse back rider was completely oblivious to it all. She had her own things to worry about. Her crush turned into distain for the Prince. She had put all her frustration out on Momomi, or more like into Momomi sexually; she knew she wasn't being fair to both Momomi and herself, but she couldn't stop.
Her mind had thought on these things mostly, but as well as a little on Hikari. She didn't like the girl at all, because just looking at such an angelic girl made the tall blunette realized why Amane would never choose her; she just wasn't Amane's type. Her attempts to "woo" the choir singer made her angrier, because the young blonde only had eyes for the Prince. Although she had attempted rape a few times, she could bring herself to actually do it, because thoughts of how Amane would be upset got in the way. If Hikari had agreed, it would have been a different matter altogether.
This was her before the red head came into her life. The red head had provided a way for her to escape her world of confusion, hate, and hidden sadness. At one point, she might have put Nagisa in a group with Hikari, but Nagisa was different than Hikari. The Spica girl saw in the girl a bit of herself in the lines of confusion and hidden sadness, but she also saw how the girl was able to cope with it all. Somehow she found it awe inspiring.
During the weeks she was with the red head, she pulled out all stops to find out more about the girl. What she found out was that the girl could be considered popular. With her great love, she was able to befriend people for all three schools. Those she did befriend respected her and loved her. She's like a little princess Kaname had thought. Unlike Hiakri who would have liked to stay in the shadows, Nagisa stood out like the sun. Ah, the sun! Another thing about the red head was that she always seemed willing to help out. Of course, she had seen this during the play, but at the time it never really registered in her brain.
She truly did like the girl because it was refreshing like drinking lemonade on a hot day. During her time with the red head, she did occasionally think about how nice it would be to kiss the girl, but she had fought it since she knew the heart of the red head belonged to Shizuma. She knew Shizuma since she was small, or course anyone who lived on Astraea Hill knew Shizuma. In a sense, Kaname wanted to place Shizuma with being another Amane in her life, but she couldn't. She knew about Shizuma and Kaori and whatever pain the older girl was going through. Somehow, she couldn't think about taking Nagisa away from Shizuma. If there was a girl who could heal the Etoile's heart, it would have been the red head. The other thing about why Kaname couldn't compare Shizuma to Amane was due to the fact that Shizuma was the Etoile. A title she truly respected, but never forgot the great importance it was for the three schools. Being in the Student Body Council had given her a way to help protect the scared title of Etoile. She wanted the title, but only if she could be paired with Amane. No one else would do. She felt terrible for leading Momomi on.
After about two weeks of losing touch with the red head, Kaname had found herself wondering alone through one of the many short hiking trails of Astraea Hill. Momomi had been a bit too clingy to her and started bothering her. She knew her lover was not that sort of person, but Kaname also figured the shorter girl deserved the extra attention since she's been avoiding her since beginning to see Nagisa. However, she needed to get away from her for a moment of thinking.
At the moment, her mind thought on Nagisa again. It racked her mind so much as to think that her short friendship with the girl would have affected her life so much, but wasn't that it alone. No, her mind was remembering the kiss she had given Nagisa. It was so much different from kissing Momomi, who was rather an aggressive kisser. The kiss with the red head was sweet and gentle; it also stoked within her a fire. With Momomi, she had sparks galore, but never a raging inferno like the kiss with Nagisa was. Maybe it's the red hair. If anything, she knew she had very strong feelings for the girl, and they were enough to put the whole Amane thing aside.
As she kept walking down the path, her eyes caught hold of a distant figure. At first, she didn't know who she was seeing, until she noticed blazing red hair. Her heart pounded in her chest in anticipation. Her steady pace grew quicker as she longed to approach the figure for comfirmation. The closer they came together, the more she realized that the girl was who she thought she was, just by the girl's hair style and Miator clothes. Although this should have thrilled her more, she grew uneasy as she noticed how Nagisa had held her head down as if burdened by something.
Anxiety gripped the older girl's heart as she rushed towards the girl, who she still couldn't make her mind up about except she truly cared for her. When within arms' reach, Kaname grabbed a hold the girl's shoulders and brought her into her. The smaller girl seemed to accept the embrace, but her body quaked, "Nagisa, what's wrong?"
The red head refused to say anything or even to look up at the girl holding her. Her stubbornness frustrated the taller girl. Calming down, Kaname grabbed hold of the red head's chin and forced her to look at her. Upon seeing the girl's eyes, a great pressure gripped the Spica girl's heart. Nagisa's eyes were distant and full of sadness; they looked as if she was almost lost. Her cheeks streaked with tears.
"What happened? Please tell me." There was a hint of franticness in Kaname's voice which stirred something in the red head.
It took great energy before Nagisa could answer, but when she did, it was in only a small voice, "Shi…Shizu…Shizuma,…she…she…there's no room for me in her life." Emotionally tired, she collapsed in Kaname's arms.
A/N: I know it's been a while since I last up dated this, but I do have other things to do as well. Oh, I am also sorry if this was boring, but my focus for this chapter was to get into the minds of Kaname and Momomi. When I talk about torture, I'm talking about mental and emotional torture. For this chapter, I thought on the episode with the duel. The next one shouldn't be as boring.