Chapter Five

I should've been protecting my heart
Now, nothing matters
Its time to guard myself from hurting,
Cover all my wounds
Behind these walls
I won't grieve
Behind these walls
My heart wont feel a thing
Behind these walls
Nothing will get through
Behind these walls
I'm not missing you

~Behind These Walls by Scott Alan (sung by Kerry Ellis)~

I ran all the way home. Another good thing about being a ghost – you can't be out of breath when you don't have any. I don't sweat either, thank god. That was all I needed to make my day worse. I ran up the stairs and into my room, throwing myself onto the bed, my head pounding as I tried to make sense of what had just happened.

I had been seen. No, it was more than that! That guy, thing, whatever – Edward – had touched me. He had made physical contact with me. His arm had touched me and he had held out his hand to help me up. He had been warm to the touch.

But he wasn't the only one – Jasper and Alice had obviously seen me as well, each on more than one occasion. What about the other two, Rosalie and Emmett? Had I ever been noticed by them? I couldn't imagine how I might have been; I didn't have classes with either of them but I tried to remember if I'd ever seen them in corridor.

I sat with my back against the headboard, my head in my hands as I ran over the scenario again and again, trying to understand the situation. Was I becoming visible again? Could that happen to ghosts? I needed to find out and as quickly as possible. If I was visible, then everything was going to change. God, Charlie… what would he say? This was going to scare the hell out of him!

Wait, Bella, calm down. Test the theory then jump to horrifying conclusions.

I went to the window, peering out at the road. Across the street and a little way down was a man mowing his lawn. I jumped out of the window, clambering down the tree outside the house and walked slowly down the road, nerves building in the pit of my stomach. The lawnmower stopped and the man began to wheel it back to his house.

"Good afternoon." I said cautiously. He didn't look up as he came back across the lawn, heading for the mail box. I went and stood beside it, watching as he flicked it open and began glancing through the contents.

"Hey, can you hear me?" I asked loudly.

He didn't even blink. I sighed.

"Hey motherfucker, your wife is doing your best friend." I announced at, what was possibly, a shouting volume. He gave no sign that he'd heard. He was either deaf, unreasonably at peace with abusive yelling or he couldn't hear or see me.

I gave up and slumped back to the house as it began to rain.

~*~

I was sat on the stairs, still trying to understand the situation, when Charlie came home.

"Hi Dad." I mumbled as he shuffled into the kitchen and began to stab a potato with a fork, putting it in the oven and opening the fridge door to find the cheese. I watched in silence, leaning my forehead against the doorframe as he worked quietly, occasionally whistling out of tune. Whilst the potato was cooking, he went to the telephone and dialled.

"Hey Billy," He said and I sat down on the floor, watching as he discussed the previous night's game. But then he frowned.

"You sound distracted. Everything alright? …you sure? Hmm, well… ok. You want to head over to the lake this weekend? Jake can come if you want, unless he's got plans. Who's he hanging out with these days? Ah, they're good kids, if I recall. Yeah, no problem. Bye."

He hung up as I sat bolt upright, letting out a gasp.

Jake. Jacob Black. Who had 'seen something out of the corner of his eye'.

If I had been alive, my heart would have been pounding.

"Dad, I'm going out!" I shouted as I ran for the door, not even bothering to open it. I set off down the street, hoping I could remember the way to La Push. I hadn't been up there since I'd died, but within thirty minutes I found myself entering the town. I might not get out of breath, but running took a lot longer than driving. However, whilst I might have been able to get away with a phantom book, a car driving itself was bound to draw attention.

Of course, now that I was in La Push, I had no idea where Billy and Jacob lived. I must have been there at some point. Charlie would have dragged me up during one of the summers I'd stayed with him. I paused by one of the houses and then walked in, hoping to find a directory. There was a teenage kid shuffling around the living room on an old-style gameboy, muttering under his breath. I ignored him and looked around for the book. Sure enough, there was one tucked under the coffee table, right in front of him.

I sneaked behind him, going to the wall where a printed photograph of the Hoh Rainforest was hanging on a string. I picked at the picture hook until it fell to the ground unceremoniously, sending the picture crashing. The teenager jumped, hitting pause on the gameboy and staring at the picture before crossing to pick it up. I jumped over the sofa and seized the directory, moving out to the empty kitchen and flicking it open. It took me a couple of minutes to find Black in it and I was looking nervously over my shoulder the whole time, wary of being caught.

Making a mental note of the address, I walked out of the house again and set off down the street. It was beginning to rain and I scowled, breaking into a run again, my feet hitting the muddy street as the sidewalks cleared. The air, no doubt cold to the living, was warm against my skin and I slowed to a walk as I saw the little red house come into view amongst the trees. A lone figure with long dark hair was strolling towards a small, separate building.

"Jacob!" I shouted but he carried on walking. I ran after him, diving through the door as he closed it. It was full of tools and a workbench. Jacob was standing beside a car, clean but old and he popped the hood, leaning in to examine the engine.

"Jacob Black." I said again in a loud, clear voice, not shouting. He didn't react and I felt like crying, pushing my slightly damp hair out of my face.

"Please. Please, hear me, Jacob." I whispered, desperate for some kind of reaction, but he merely turned to pick up a wrench and went back to the engine.

I sat on the workbench, cross legged, watching as he whistled cheerfully, fixing the engine without a care in the world. Tears streamed down my face and I sniffed, wiping them away.

I hated this weakness in myself. It reminded me of those first few days after my death when I'd been running around, screaming at anything and anyone, desperate for someone to hear me. I had worked hard not to become a whiny little bitch-ghost and now these Cullens were messing with me and everything I knew.

Jacob approached the bench where I was sitting, picking up a cloth to wipe the oil from his spanner. I shuffled along the bench and froze as a tear dropped from my chin, landing on the wooden bench, instantly staining the wood darker. Jacob noticed it and looked up at the ceiling with a slight frown before leaning over to wipe the tear away with the cloth.

I reached up and brushed my fingers against his cheek. He shivered slightly and looked around, as though searching for the source of a breeze. I shrunk back away from him as Billy shouted from the house.

"Coming, Dad!" Jacob yelled back and tossed the tools back into a toolbox. I walked beside him as he crossed the drizzling yard and threw open the front door shaking the water droplets from his hair. Billy looked up from the kitchen table and Jacob grinned.

"Dinner?"

"You think you can manage not to burn something?"

"I'm always up for a challenge. How was your meeting with the elders?" Jacob chuckled and I leaned against the doorframe, watching as he began to dig through the cupboards for food. The phone rang and Billy wheeled towards me to answer it. I examined his face as he spoke into the receiver. His dark skin was wrinkled and leathery but he had very kind eyes and his dark hair was streaked with grey. I was tempted to try and touch him but I didn't. Instead I leaned in to listen as he spoke.

"Billy here. Ah, hi Sue."

Sue Clearwater, I recalled. Her husband, Harry, was one of Charlie's best friends. Billy scratched his chin.

"Yeah, Quil and I just got back." He said, glancing over his shoulder at Jacob, but he was preoccupied with opening tins, listening to the radio. Billy wheeled out of the kitchen, clutching the phone to his ear.

"We're keeping the treaty as it is. The leader, the one that's a doctor, came along with the mind reader. They had two other leeches with them, new ones since their last visit and they signed the treaty."

He was silent, listening to Sue talking and I was silent, curious as to the subject of their conversation. Billy sighed.

"The treaty remains the same, Sue. They can't enter our lands. We don't have any… active pack members. We can't take them on and it's safer if we don't. They can't stay for more than a few years anyway."

Another pause and then Billy's next words made me step back.

"Sue, there's nothing more to be done. Just make sure you keep your kids away from them. The Cullens can't come to La Push, but if we're in Forks, there's nothing to be done. Yes, they've got some big house up past the river."

The Cullens! The fucking Cullens, they were everywhere!

The house felt like it was shrinking, like I was suffocating. A weird sensation, seeing as I don't need to breathe anyway. I walked past Billy and through the front door, starting the long, slow walk back home.

~*~

Charlie was snoring in front of the TV when I got back. I left him to it, walking upstairs to my room, where I found a notepad and a pencil. I sat at the dusty desk and began to write.

The Cullens

I underlined it sharply and wrote out their names and what I knew about them.

They are hated by the Quiluete tribe and have an agreement to stay out of La Push.

One of them is a doctor.

One of them is a mind reader.

They can see me when no one else can.

They can touch me when no one else can (possibly just Edward?)

I hesitated.

They live in Forks, past the river.

I stopped again, turning my head to stare out of the window. Getting my thoughts out had cleared my head a little, allowing me to examine them with fresh perspective. But the one thought that was so obvious did not want to be written. It terrified me even to think of it, which was ridiculous considering my circumstances.

I held my pencil to the paper and wrote slowly and deliberately.

They are not human.

~*~

I didn't know whether or not to go to school the next day, Friday. I deliberated over and over again before deciding to go for it. Hell, I'd been here ten years – the Cullens had been here for ten minutes.

I watched Charlie leave for work before setting off for school. I was early and sat on a low wall, watching my classmates arrive and begin their chatter, excited for the looming weekend. Lauren had big plans to dye her hair blonder and I rolled my eyes as Jessica squealed in excitement. Nobody noticed but Angela rolled her eyes too. I liked that girl.

A silver Volvo arrived in the parking lot and I stiffened, watching as the Cullens climbed out of the car. Rosalie and Emmett set off towards the doors without bothering to wait, Emmett's arm slung around her shoulder. Edward locked the car door and then paused, looking at Alice, although she hadn't spoken. She smiled at him and he frowned, turning to look in my direction.

Mind reader.

Instantly, swear words began to race through my brain. This guy could read my mind, could hear everything I didn't want him to.

The three of them were looking in my direction. I narrowed my eyes and climbed off the wall, walking into the school.

~*~

My concentration was shot that morning. I barely listened to Mr Lewis as he ranted about Chaucer, had no chance of understanding Geometry and by the time I got to the cafeteria, I was twitching like a rabbit, torn between wanting to show the Cullens that this was my school and wanting to run to some deserted corner of the library and hide until graduation.

By the time I actually entered the cafeteria, Angela and company were already sat down, talking happily. I chewed my lip, staring in their direction before risking a glance at the Cullen table. A jolt went through me as I realised they were all staring at me.

I wrapped my arms around my waist, looking away quickly before marching over to my usual table. Unfortunately there was no chair pulled out, which left me with the option of either standing there or sitting with the table going through my middle. I debated for a minute.

"The Cullens are looking at our table." Jessica hissed. Everyone at the table peered around unsubtly, including me. Alice was chuckling to herself and I rolled my eyes, turning and leaving the table again. The Cullens turned back to their table apart from Edward, who kept his eyes on me as I stormed across the room, sitting at an empty table where a chair was already pulled out. I collapsed into it, folding my arms across my chest and sat glaring at the table in front of me.

I stayed that way, letting out my internal anger at the inanimate object for almost twenty minutes before glancing up. I was seated so that the Cullen table was ahead and to my right and I was facing Edward and Emmett. As I looked up, Emmett grinned widely. I frowned, puzzled by this reaction and shifted in my seat. Emmett chuckled and lifted one massive hand, giving a little wave as he wiggled his fingers.

I didn't quite know how to react to that. I stared at him and he winked. Alice turned in her seat to look at me, smiling widely. Edward just stared down at his tray. Was he reading my thoughts?

You're a jerk and if you take my seat in Biology again, I'm going to rip you a new one, I thought as loudly as possible but he didn't react. Alice said something and he looked up, meeting my eyes again.

Emmett was still grinning at me and I got to my feet and walked away, glancing over my shoulder as I strolled through the walls towards Biology. They watched me go without further movement.

~*~

Mr Banner was already in the classroom, setting up for our class. I sat at my usual desk, chin in my hands as I watched my classmates arrive, taking their seats and chattering noisily.

Edward arrived and looked directly at me. I narrowed my eyes, daring him to come and sit with me.

He did. Bastard.

He put his notepad, pencil and textbook on the desk in front of him, not looking at me as he sat with several inches between us. I stared straight ahead, clenching my jaw. Mr Banner wheeled in a projector and the class settled down as he began to play an ancient movie on mitosis. The teacher sat at his desk with his mug of coffee, looking perfectly happy to doze as everyone misbehaved quietly.

A piece of paper appeared in front of me. I blinked and glanced sideways but Edward was watching the film as though it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen in his life. I looked down at the paper.

What are you?

I pulled a face at his profile. Rude much? I leaned over to steal his pencil and scribbled a reply. OK, so I could have replied out loud, but that seemed rude, even if no one else could hear me, with the movie playing.

Virgo. What are you, beside a chair thief?

He read it and his lips twitched as though repressing a smile. My eye was drawn to them and I was glad I didn't have any blood, because I had a funny feeling that I would be blushing. He was writing again and I examined his message.

I would apologise but I was instructed to sit here. I'm Edward Cullen. May I ask another question?

Why not just read my mind?

He frowned and turned his head slightly to look at me. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. He hesitated before writing again.

How do you know about that? And I can't read your mind, for reasons unknown. You're the only person I can't hear.

I read the paper for a moment before looking at him again. He was leaning back in his chair, watching me. I chewed my lip for a moment before writing again.

You're not human, are you?

What makes you say that?

You're cold. Not to me – to me, you're just normal temperature, but you should be a lot hotter. And you don't eat. None of you ate anything at lunch today.

And you can see me. Humans can't see or touch me.

He was considerate again, contemplating his answer. I tapped my fingers softly against the desk until he wrote again.

No. I'm not human.

I sat still, thinking about this for a long time. The end of the lesson was drawing closer and he began to write again, his handwriting like calligraphy.

What is your name?

I looked at his face, taking in the breathtakingly perfect features and the odd, golden eyes. I reached for the pen and scribbled my message before walking out of the room.

Bella.


A/N: Oh, my little chickpeas. Before I say anything else, I wish to give you cookies and rainbows and puppies and all sorts of lovely things because the last chapter shot the stats for this fic through the roof! Over 1400 hits and 71 reviews, 33 of which were for the last chapter alone! My beta, Sarah, could hear me squealing from her house, which is two towns over. I can be quite shrill.

Behind These Walls – This is Bella getting angry at herself for letting the Cullens get under her skin, when she's worked so hard not to let her situation get her down. You can find this song on youtube, and you should ALWAYS listen to Kerry Ellis if you get the chance because she gives me eargasms.

Reviewers will receive their chosen Cullen/Werewolf and a box of fireworks. Sarah and I wish you all a very Happy New Year!

Love

Katie