Chapter Twelve

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic

Pace of the world

I just wish I could stop it

Try to appear like I've got it together

I'm falling apart

Save me

Somebody take my hand, and lead me

Slow me down

Don't let love pass me by

Just show me how

'Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down

Don't let me live a lie

Before my life flies by

I need you to slow me down

~Slow Me Down by Emmy Rossum~

You know how they say time flies when you're having fun?

The same applies for being dead and hanging out with vampires. Who knew?

But the fact remained that the Cullens had now been in Forks for over a month and I had spent pretty much every night at their house since they'd arrived. I'd played videogames with Emmett (observed by a scowling Rosalie), allowed Alice to dress me up (avoided by an uncomfortable Jasper), talked to Carlisle, let him take more samples and watch as I demonstrated my abilities over and over again whilst Edward watched in silence.

I'd spent time chatting with Esme about her various projects, including the house she was currently designing in Alaska. She was one smart lady and easily one of the nicest people I'd ever met. Her love for her family was just overwhelming and she shocked the hell out of me one day by casually stroking my cheek as I helped her pack her things away. It was such a loving, familiar gesture and I almost burst into tears then and there. Instead I stared at her, wide-eyed until she gave a sweet little laugh and told me to 'run along'.

Seriously. I'm almost thirty and a vampire mom told me to 'run along'. My afterlife is beyond weird.

I was always home before dawn, ready to see Charlie off for the day before going to school and attending my classes. I still wanted to learn and I wasn't going to change everything just because I had people to talk to now.

So it was on a Thursday evening as I waited for Charlie to get home from the station when I heard the phone ring. The machine clicked on and I looked up as Billy's voice came through.

"Charlie, it's Billy. I just missed you at the station, so I thought I'd get you here but I guess you're not back yet. Look, we're having a little trouble on the reservation… nothing major, just one of the boys has gone missing. Sam Uley, I think you know him, he's dating Harry's daughter, Leah. He disappeared a couple of days ago and we're starting to get a little worried. Just… just give me a call when you get this."

I stared at the machine for a minute, frowning to myself. It wasn't like Billy to get worked up, especially over something like a teenage boy taking off. Chances were that this Sam kid would show up safe and sound.

The door opened and Charlie strolled in, dropping his keys on the front table. He pressed the play button as he shrugged off his jacket but stiffened, pulling it back on again as he reached for the phone.

"Billy, it's me. I'm on my way up. Who was the last one to see him? Yeah… OK, I'll stop by Harry's house first." He hung up abruptly and darted out of the house. I stared after him and then looked at the clock anxiously. It was already half past six and I'd told Carlisle that I would be going over for some more experiments that night. Something about electrical currents or whatever, I didn't understand a damn thing of what he was doing. But I couldn't go now, not without making sure that Charlie got home OK.

It was at this point in time that I regretted not getting a telephone number for the Cullens, but I figured that since I had decided not to go, Alice would see this and let the others know.

I went into the kitchen and noted with distaste that several of the glasses Charlie had washed were getting watermarks where he'd left them on the draining board instead of using a towel to dry them. I filled the sink with hot soapy water and began to wipe them clean, examining each one closely as I kept an ear out for the sound of Charlie's car. But by the time I had finished washing up, cleaned the surfaces, finished Jane Eyre and watched a few reruns of Friends, it was close to eleven and there was no sign of him.

I went to the window and looked out at the street. A streetlamp illuminated the sidewalk but no headlights showed. I walked out and sat myself on the steps leading up to the porch, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling in my chest.

I don't know why I was worrying. Charlie was a police officer, he knew what he was doing. He'd stayed out late before; hell, he'd pulled all nighters before.

It didn't mean I didn't worry myself to death.

Woops, too late.

Ack, bad timing, Swan. Very poor taste.

I still snorted to myself. I can't help it that I'm a comic genius.

"What are you laughing at?" Edward's voice spoke curiously and very close to me. I shrieked, clasping my hands to my chest as I twisted on my seat, staring up at him.

"Jesus Christ, Edward! You scared the hell out of me!"

"I'm sorry." He looked genuinely apologetic and I lowered my hands, turning to look back at the sidewalk nervously. If anyone saw a strange kid hanging around the chief's house, it wasn't going to look good.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" I asked, looking back up at him. He shrugged nonchalantly.

"Alice said that you were unable to make it tonight."

"You can always trust a psychic vampire." I said lightly, leaning my arms on my knees. Edward stayed standing in the shadows but I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head. I sighed and leant back on my hands, glancing up at him.

"You didn't have to come all this way."

"It doesn't take long to get here." He smiled slightly and then glanced at the house, "Charlie isn't here?"

"No, he got called up to La Push." I said quietly, frowning, "Some kid went missing. He's been gone a long time. Charlie, I mean."

Edward didn't say anything, continuing to watch me. After a moment I stood and gestured to the house.

"You'd better come inside. We don't need the neighbours getting suspicious." I said and then hesitated. I didn't want to open the front door in case anyone saw – the window maybe?

Edward smirked and then he was gone. I poked my head through the front door to see him standing by the stairs. He must have entered faster than I could see him. I walked in and glanced upstairs.

"My room, I guess. If Charlie comes home and finds you here…"

"I'll be gone before his car hits the drive." Edward promised and then hesitated, "May I asked you something?"

"You may."

"Why does the doorframe smell like garlic?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused

"Oh…" My voice faded away lamely and I stared awkwardly up at the ceiling, avoided his gaze, "No particular reason."

He smirked and stepped aside, letting me upstairs. I walked up and pushed open the door to my room, feeling a little uncertain. It was so… immature. The room of a teenage girl, with the dusty purple blanket and photographs stuck to the notice board. But Edward was smiling, moving slowly around the room, looking from the photographs to the CD's to the books that filled the case opposite the wardrobe. I sat cross-legged on the centre of the bed, watching as he took everything in, agonisingly slowly. This was a little annoying, seeing as I knew he had vampire speed on his side.

I bit on my lip, watching as he ran his fingers oh-so-gently over the spines of my beloved books. The glow from the streetlamp spilled down the side of the house and gave just enough light to outline his features. His messy hair fell into his eyes and I watched, hypnotised as he looked back at the photographs, leaning in to examine each one individually. There were several of my mother, a couple of Phil and a couple of Charlie. Also, one of a girl, Melanie, whom I'd been friends with in Forks High. She'd moved to San Francisco, I seemed to remember

Edward's lips were quirking into a smile again, slightly higher on one side. I'd never noticed that his smile was crooked. Like the tiny bump in his nose, it was peculiar against the perfection of his immortality. He lifted a hand and grazed a picture of me with a fingertip. My chest clenched; it was so reminiscent of Charlie's actions with the photo in the kitchen that a lump rose in my throat and I swallowed hard, trying to make it disappear.

The noise caught Edward's attention and he turned, as though remembering I was there. I looked down at my fingers, knotted in my lap.

"It's kind of gloomy. I mean, compared to your house."

"It's perfect." He said firmly and moved towards the bed, sitting carefully on the edge. I couldn't help a tiny grin splitting my face. For some reason, his approval made me feel warm inside and I picked up a pillow, hugging it to my chest lightly as he turned to look at me.

"You didn't have to come over." I said casually and his eyebrow jerked up slightly as he smiled that secretive smile, as though enjoying a private joke.

"Shall I leave?"

"No!" I spoke too quickly and too loudly. If I could blush, I would have. Instead I winced and buried my face in the pillow, "Uh, no. Don't. It's only fair, I mean… we hang out at yours all the time. Was Doc OK about me skipping?"

"Carlisle understood. He likes that nickname, by the way." Edward's smile increased marginally and I chewed my lip, smiling.

"He does?"

"Yes. And Emmett definitely likes being called 'Muscles'."

"I bet Rosalie doesn't though." I murmured and he chuckled softly.

"No… she doesn't." His eyes met mine and then dropped to the pillow. "But that's my fault, I think."

I was immediately confused and cocked my head at him curiously but he shook his head, waving the thought away. Instead he turned his eyes back to my face, searching and intense. It was like a bright light shining at me, dazzling and I almost lifted my hand to my eyes but restrained myself.

"I hate that I can't hear you."

Edward's words reached my fogged ears and I met his eyes.

"Why?" I asked and his eyebrows twitched together in a slight frown.

"I'm used to hearing people, whether I want to or not. And you are one person I'd like to hear."

"I'm kind of glad you can't to be honest. I don't exactly have a stunning thought process, it's usually inane rambling." I admitted and he chuckled.

"I'm sure it's fascinating, really."

"It's not. Besides, it would give you an unfair advantage, like the others. Emmett kicks my ass at computer games, Alice sees my future… I like that we're on an equal footing."

"Equal…" He rolled the word over, considering it and I nodded.

"You know… I mean, you've got the normal vampire advantages but I can run through walls, so I figure that puts us on a pretty even standing." Just to show off I began to sink through the bed and he instinctively put out a hand, his finger wrapping around my wrist. It was like an electric shock, sparking over my skin and I gasped, my eyes flying up Edward's face. He was staring back at me, lips slightly parted as I gazed up at him. Then his hand slid down my arm and wrapped around my fingers, helping back up out of the bed.

I knelt on the blanket, our eye contact never breaking and our fingers never separating. The sparks continued to dance where our skin met and I dropped my eyes to stare at our joined hands. The room was utterly silent and Edward slowly lifted his hand from mine and moved it towards my face, hesitating only momentarily as if asking permission. I must have given it because his fingers brushed against my cheek, sliding back towards my ear as he cupped my face. Instinctively, I leant my head into his hand and his scent filled my nostrils, a mixture of cool honey and sunshine, sweet and heady and perfect.

Edward jerked his head back. I hadn't even noticed that we'd been leaning towards each other but I missed the absence of his hand against my skin as he stood quickly.

"Your father is back." He murmured and I jumped up. Charlie! He was back. Was he safe? Was he OK?

I was running down the stairs and slid to a stop as Charlie came through the door. He looked tired but uninjured as he pulled off his jacket, yawning widely. I wondered if he'd found Sam, but there was no way to know. I stepped aside as he went upstairs, still yawning and disappeared into the bathroom. A few moments later he turned off the water and went into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. I went into my room, where Edward was stood by the window. He turned to look at me as I entered.

"They found Sam out in the forest." He said softly, "He's uninjured but shaken up. Something happened to him but they don't know what. Charlie's fine, just tired."

I was about to speak when he looked around quickly.

"He's coming in." And then he'd disappeared, although I head the closet door creak ever so slightly. I stood by the bed and turned as my father appeared in the doorway. He hesitated for a moment and then walked to the bed and I stepped aside to let him run his hand over the smooth blanket. Edward must have straightened it whilst I was downstairs but I couldn't think of that because Charlie had sat down and picked up the pillow that I had been hugging earlier.

The tears began to prick and I held them back as he lifted the pillow to his face, inhaling the scent that it gave before placing it in his lap and burying his face in his hands.

"Oh, Bells…" His voice broke and the dam gave way. The tears streamed down my face and I gave a gasping sob as I wrapped my arms around my waist, otherwise I knew I'd run to him and try to hug him and all that would happen was that I'd pass through him and it would break my heart because he wouldn't know. All I could do was watch as my father struggled to control his sorrow, running his hands over and over the pillow before placing it carefully back at the head of the bed and stumbling from the room, tired and emotional. I kept my head bent, unable to look at him, trying to control myself as I brought my hands to my face, aware of the boy in the cupboard and not wanting him to see me like this.

Warm arms wrapped firmly around my waist and without even thinking I turned and rested my forehead against Edward's chest, letting the thrilling sparks cocoon me in warmth and something I hadn't felt in a long time… security. Edward's touch was bewitching and my sensitive skin tingled but I couldn't bear to pull away.

He stayed with me all night.

~*~

We sat on my bed in silence for much of the night; Edward sat with his back against the headboard whilst I leant against him, his arms around my waist and my hands resting on top of his. His cheek was pressed against my hair in an incredibly intimate gesture that I didn't entirely understand. The contact that I had flinched against now seemed absolutely necessary, fulfilling and warm. My tears had ceased, leaving my eyes a little sore and I lifted a hand to rub them. Edward moved his slightly, his jaw rubbing against my hair as I twisted my face to peer up at him.

His expression was completely relaxed and he even quirked that crooked smile at me. I managed a weak one in return and then sat up awkwardly.

"The sun's coming up." I noted quietly and he nodded, not moving his arms from around me. I ran my hands over his locked fingers as I gazed out of the window, the cloudy sky blocking any rays of light.

"Charlie will be up soon."

"He's waking up now." Edward murmured, "I should go and change my clothes for school."

"Yeah." I said unnecessarily, getting to my feet. Instantly I missed the loss of our connection and embarrassment overwhelmed me as I stared at the floor, twisting my fingers together as he moved towards the window. It had snowed during the night and the white stuff lined the sill. Edward lifted the window, frowning as it creaked quietly but Charlie was walking across the landing to the bathroom.

Edward turned and faced me, one hand on the window. We stared at each other for a moment. Hello awkwardness, my old friend. Someone should really write some rules of etiquette on how to behave when one has spent the night with their vampire friend for whom one may or may not be developing feelings of the more-than-friendly variety.

Or something.

Edward lifted his hand again and brushed my hair back from my cheek, fingertips grazing my skin. His eyes searched mine for an answer to a question that he wouldn't ask. Instead he let his hand drop to his side.

"I'll see you at school." He whispered and I nodded, watching as he leapt easily from the window and disappeared into the woods behind the house.

I heard Charlie pottering around in the bathroom and sighed, straightening the bed before I went downstairs to turn on the coffeemaker.

~*~

The snow wasn't deep enough to stop people getting to school, but it was just enough to be a pain in the ass. Mike Newton was attempting to start a snowball fight but all he had achieved was pissing off Lauren and Jessica, who both screeched that their hair was ruined.

The Cullens were stood by the Volvo and Alice grinned at me as I walked into the parking lot. Edward's head twisted around to gaze at me and I dropped my eyes to the floor, walking carefully over the snow. Over it. For some reason, don't ask me how because I've already explained that I don't know how this ghost thing works, I can walk on top of snow without leaving an imprint. It's kind of handy for walking through busy places where someone might notice footprints appearing out of nowhere.

"Good morning, Bella!" Alice said brightly, "How was your night? Carlisle said not to worry about not making it over; I explained that Charlie was called out and that you wanted to wait for him. He'll do the experiment when you come over tonight."

"I'm coming over, am I?" I smirked at her and she laughed lightly.

"Of course."

"I don't think you're psychic. You're just bossy and no one wants to contradict you." I teased and Jasper chuckled, wrapping an arm around Alice's waist as she laughed again.
"Damn, now you've figured it out, we'll have to kill you."

"Bit late for that, Al." I smiled dryly and Emmett began to laugh. I risked a glance at Rosalie, but she was staring into the distance, frowning slightly.

Then four things happened.

Alice stiffened, her eyes becoming unfocused.

Edward stiffened and looked quickly towards the gate where Tyler Crowley's van was pulling in a little faster than was sensible.

I heard the words, "He's going to crash." But I couldn't tell you who said them.

I started running.

Don't ask me why. I don't have an answer, certainly not a sensible one. All I knew was that Tyler's van had started to skid on a large patch of black ice and I was running straight towards him. What happened next took maybe thirty seconds, but I'll give a blow-by-blow account.

I was running head on towards the van, the sound of screeching tires piercing my eardrums. I heard Alice scream and Edward shout but I ignored them, jumping and throwing myself headfirst through the windscreen. I landed pretty much on Tyler and managed to unclip his seatbelt and throw the door open as the belt coiled back. Tyler didn't have time to react so I grabbed him.

That really should have been my first clue that something was different. I should have just passed straight through him, but no. I grabbed hold of his arm and pulled with all of my might, flinging us as far from the skidding van as possible. Midair I managed to twist us so that I would land on my back and Tyler would land on me. It was going to hurt like hell, but since I was already dead, I figured he was probably the more delicate out of the two of us.

That didn't mean he wasn't heavy.

We landed hard, rolling on the snow covered concrete as the van went careening into a line of cars with an ear-splitting screech of twisting metal. Screams and shouts filled the air but I was only conscious of the pounding heartbeat of the boy who lay beneath me where we'd rolled to a stop. My eyes were closed as I kept my fingers wrapped around Tyler's warm arms and his breath was heavy on my cheek.

After a moment I opened my eyes and turned my face to look at him, to see if he was OK. He was staring. At me.

He was staring at me.

I jerked upwards, straddling his stomach as I looked down at him in shock, but he simply gazed back, mouth open and a thin trickle blood smeared across his forehead. I frowned, lifting my hands from his arms.

"Tyler? Are you OK?" I asked softly and he sat up abruptly, eyes still fixed on mine, our faces startlingly close together as he grasped my arms in tight fists. When he spoke it was with a mixture of alarm and awe.

"Who are you?"

A/n: Well gosh. That was unexpected. Yes, my dears, an update – I apologise for the delay but it's been a terribly busy month or so, what with uni placement and other bits and pieces. I can't guarantee an update schedule for a little while yet, because I have some more assignments due and another placement to do, but I shall endeavour! In the meantime, you can get info on my twitter, link is on my profile!

Slow Me Down – Bella feels like things have suddenly taken a u-turn and she's not too sure what's happening so she needs to… well… slow down. I guess. This song choice makes more sense in my head than it does in writing!

Love to my lovely beta lady who has been desperately busy and now has chicken pox, poor thing. Send her your love and Carlisles.

Oh, and I have a couple of one shots up. One is Emmett/Rosalie called 'Past, Present and Future', the other is called 'Searching for Bella'. Check them out and leave a review. All the cool kids are reviewing these days, you know.

Reviewers will receive their chosen Cullen/Werewolf and Bella's bed for one whole night. No interruptions. I'm sure you can think of something much more imaginative to use it for than Bella and Edward did!

Love

Katie