Thanks for hanging in there and thanks for all of your reviews! I love this chapter, but it was hard to write. Sometimes the ones you think will be the easiest are; in fact, the most difficult. I will probably update again tonight or tomorrow. Either that or start my own "fondue for two" show. I loved Brittany interviewing her cat! Reviews are like chocolate to me. Chocolate, mixed with crack, mixed with Matt Damon in the Bourne Identity!
The hallway corridors echoed; empty by the time glee ended. It was Friday and no one wanted to stay a minute longer than they had to.
Kurt; who normally felt an incredible buzz after a performance, instead felt lethargic. Listless. And a chilling sadness that seemed to seep all the way down to his bones.
How could Dave have walked out of his performance? Was it that horrible to have Kurt sing him a song? Did he sicken Dave so much that he couldn't stand to sit through a single performance?
What about last night? What about those unbelievably beautiful moments together in front of the fire? Had it all meant nothing to Dave?
Had it all been some kind of joke?
Kurt felt his stomach heave, threatening to cast up the remains of his lunch. Please, God...even if Dave didn't want Kurt singing to him, please let it not have been a joke.
The late night talks, the moments they'd spent together in front of the fire. Kurt had to believe that at least they were real. He had to believe it or he would go crazy.
Trying to shove down his despairing thoughts, he headed for his locker, where he and Finn would meet up before driving home.
Rounding the corner, he spotted his step brother leaning against the locker bank.
He wasn't alone.
Dave Karofsky was at his locker too. Leaned in towards Finn, he spoke in a low voice. Kurt couldn't make out the words, only hear an unintelligible murmur.
Whatever it was he was saying, it was making Finn nod warily, shrugging his shoulders. A second later, his stepbrother was swinging his backpack around his shoulders and walking out the exit.
"Hey!"
Kurt's feet; which had been dragging, picked up the pace. Where the hell was Finn going? But his shout and running feet were for naught. Finn was already out the door, leaving Kurt alone in the hallway with Dave Karofsky. Dave was leaning back against Kurt's locker, his hands shoved in his pockets, and eyes downcast.
Kurt stared at him in for a full minute before Dave spoke.
"I...uh...I asked Finn if I could take you home. I need to talk to you. "
Kurt bit his lower lips, shaking his head, refusing to respond to Dave's tentative smile.
"No...I have nothing to say to you, David Karofsky. Well, correction. I did have something to say, but apparently you didn't want to listen. Now, I am not interested in listening to you or driving home with you or anything with you!"'
Spinning on his heel, he headed for the choir room. Surely someone was still there and could give him a ride home.
He'd gone two steps when Dave spoke.
"I listened to your song. I couldn't believe...I couldn't believe you were singing to me. I…"
Kurt had turned around at the sound of Dave's voice and watched in increasing amazement at the sight of Dave Karofsky at a complete loss for words. His neck, face, and even ears were flushing successively darker with each fumbled word.
Visibly trying to regain control of himself, Dave took a deep breath and continued.
"I left in the last few seconds. I couldn't stay in there. Not with everyone and you...I couldn't…I have never..."
Even with crushing despair weighing on his heart, Kurt couldn't help but smile to himself. Dave was adorable when he was flustered.
Seeing that tiny smile seemed to decide something for Dave. Looking impatiently around, ascertaining that they were; in fact, alone, he took the few steps to reach Kurt and held out a hand.
When Kurt stared blankly at the appendage offered to him, Dave muttered under his breath, reaching down to link his fingers through with Kurt's.
And then, before he could speak, before he could breathe even, Dave was pulling him down the hall.
Down the hall and out the side exit. Through the side yard, over the student parking lot. Dave's truck was the last vehicle in the lot.
Grasping Kurt's hand firmly in his own, Dave's determined strides quickly ate up the distance from the sidewalk to his car. Yanking open the passenger door, he ushered a dazed Kurt into his seat, before jogging around to his own side.
They had driven probably a mile before Kurt; his hand (hell, his own body) still tingling, could bring himself to speak.
"What is going on, Dave? I hate to go all Katy Perry on you, but you're hot then you're cold and back and forth. You walk out of my performance, but insist on driving me home. You won't look at me, but you hold my hand all the way to the car. "
Dave didn't react to Kurt's rushed speech beyond a tightening of his mouth, his eyes focused on the road.
And suddenly Kurt was so tired.
So tired of trying to understand a boy that didn't want to be understood. Who wanted him in one moment and hurt him so badly in the next.
"Ok, you don't want to talk, fine. Just drop me off and let's put an end to this, Karofsky. Obviously you don't know how you feel, or maybe you feel nothing, maybe it's all in my head, and that's ok…."
Kurt had been so focused on watching Dave; trying to figure out what he was thinking, that he didn't notice where they were driving. Didn't realize until the light suddenly changed that they were underneath newly budding trees; with the sunlight filtering through the leaves.
Cursing, Dave quickly threw the gears into park and turned off the engine.
They were in the parking lot of one of their town's local parks; which explained the trees. It was empty, though, even if it hadn't been, they would have been guaranteed privacy, given how they were parked at the far end of the lot, underneath the shade of the trees.
"This isn't my home, Karofsky"
No response.
Dave still looked straight ahead, his hands gripping the wheel.
The silence stretched between them. One minute. Then another, and another.
Kurt had just opened his mouth to speak, to say something to fill the unbearable silence when Dave; still facing the windshield, began to talk; his husky voice tinged by something that Kurt couldn't identify.
"I'm sorry I walked out today. It wasn't because I hated your performance...I don't think I can explain...I don't know how to say what I need to say"
Kurt felt the air around them begin to hum with an intense, breath stealing electricity. He needed to know what Dave was having such a hard time telling him. Reaching for the other boy's hand, he gently pulled it off the wheel, linking the larger fingers through his own.
"It's ok. You can tell me anything, Dave. There's nothing that's not ok for us to talk about. You're safe here with me"
Kurt could feel Dave's hand began to tremble.
A minute passed and Kurt began to think that Dave wasn't going to be able to say what was on his mind. That nothing would change.
His heart started to hurt, a literal physical pain in his chest. Dave was going to reject him again.
Then it happened.
In a series of rushed and fumbling movements, Dave unbuckled his seat belt and Kurt's, unlinking their hands. Pulling Kurt close, he wrapped his big arms around the other boy; dragging him to the middle of the seat, surrounding Kurt with his body. Kurt; after a pause of shock, quickly wrapped his arms around the other boy's back; his face a mask of disbelief and joy.
Dave buried his face in Kurt's neck; tightening his arms around his body, slowly running his hands up and down Kurt's back; almost soothingly. He was holding him as if he were something infinitely precious. A wave of tenderness washed over Kurt, and he clung a little closer to the other boy, one hand on his back; the other idly smoothing through his hair.
Being close to Dave had its usual effect on Kurt. The electricity that had been in the air was now rushing through Kurt's body. Every nerve ending tingled. His heart was pounding so hard it shook his entire body. Being wrapped up in Dave's arms was so intensely beautiful and so incredibly warm that it was almost painful.
After another few minutes, Dave began to speak, his voice raspy and hushed.
"I left today because if I had stayed even one…one second more, I wouldn't have been able to stay in my seat. You were so damned beautiful, and you were singing to...to… me and nothing and no one has ever made me feel what you make me feel. God, just when you look at me, it tears me apart. To have you singing to me...I'm surprised I didn't go berserk. It was like the ground fell away beneath me and I literally couldn't breathe"
Kurt was sobbing quietly, the tears seeping from under his closed eyelids, his body shaking. This couldn't be real. Dave couldn't be saying these things. But Dave continued,
"It's always been you, Kurt. I've tried to run. I've made you run. I hurt you and; in the process, hurt myself so badly. I…I'm not so good with words. I just…I just need you. You take all the pain away. You fill all the emptiness. God, I sound like an idiot, I just don't know how to tell you…"
He trailed off; clearly at a loss for what to say.
Kurt opened his eyes, and pulled back from the other boy's embrace, lifting Dave's chin in the process.
Their eyes met and in that exact moment…that second…. the world stopped spinning.
"Dave, I need to tell you something…I…"