Chapter 17

Nobody wants to know
Cos nobody even cares
Everyone's on the make
Yeah and everyone's out for themselves
Me I'm on the longest road
Where everything's overload
But I've got my heart and soul
So don't throw me overboard
Cos it's alright
Just follow the light
And don't be afraid of the dark
In the moonlight
You'll dance til you fall and always be here in my heart

~Follow The Light by Travis~

Jacob and Sam exchanged a look. I swallowed hard and looked back at the wolves. They were standing patiently, their eyes dark and calm. They appeared to be looking towards Sam as though for orders. Sam looked back at me and nodded.

"We'll talk more at my place." He disappeared into the garage and less than a minute later an enormous black wolf, almost taller than I was, emerged. I gasped and jumped back as it stalked past me, limbs rippling with muscle under the thick fur. The wolves all turned and ran towards the trees, disappearing into the shadows.

Jacob's hand clapped down on my shoulder and I shrieked, jumping about a foot into the air. A ghost with a nervous disposition. Surely I should be the one making people jump?

"Calm down, Bella Swan. C'mon, they'll be waiting." He grinned down at me.

"You're a werewolf. Jacob, how…?" I began but he shook his head and nodded to a motorbike that was leaning against the garage wall.

"Come on. Do you need a helmet?"

"I'm already dead. Road safety isn't a big issue for me." I said quietly, feeling rather in shock. Jacob wheeled the bike towards me and climbed on, patting the seat behind him.

"Jump on and hold tight. I'm not one for speed limits."

"I'm sure my dad would love to hear that." I said dryly.

"Charlie loves me," Jacob grinned, starting the engine, "He wouldn't give me a ticket."

The motorcycle lurched forward and I tightened my grip around Jacob's waist as we sped off.

Sam's house was tucked away down a dirt path, surrounded by trees, giving it a rustic feel. Jacob sped down the path ridiculously quickly and I was tempted to yell abuse at him but he probably would have ignored me anyway. Kid had no manners. He pulled to a fast stop outside the small wooden house and tugged off his helmet, grinning down at me.

"OK there?"

"Well, if I wasn't already dead, that ride would have given me a heart attack." I said flatly and looked over at the house. Several tall boys had come out, all shirtless and looking curious. I spotted Embry amongst them and he waved. It reminded me of Emmett and my heart panged.

I missed them so much. And I was still so angry. And now I had a ton of werewolf boys who could see me and were all staring at me like I was the latest Xbox game.

"So, this is the ghost? I thought she'd be more interesting." One of the boys said, smirking. I glared at him.

"So, this is the werewolf pack? I thought you'd be hairier." I said bitingly.

"Guys, this is Isabella Swan. Bella. Y'know, Charlie Swan's daughter." Jacob introduced me.

Alarm ran through me and I looked at them quickly.

"You can't tell him about me. Seriously, he can't see me, I don't want him freaking out. But I don't get how you can all see me." I looked around but paused as a young woman came out of the house. She was beautiful, long black hair falling down her back. But her face was marred by long claw marks and I couldn't help but stare. Jacob nudged me.

"That's Sam's girlfriend, Emily. Don't stare." He said under his breath.

"Jacob, where is she?" Emily said, looking curious, "I thought you were bringing her."

Jacob's hand went down on my shoulder again as he propelled me forward.

"Hey Emily. Here she is."

Emily stared blankly at him before glancing around. Finally, someone normal! Someone who couldn't see me. I looked up at Jacob.

"That's more like it." I said smugly and he blinked in confusion. The boys all hesitated, uncertain and looking at me warily.

"Sam? What's going on?" Emily asked curiously and Sam frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"You said that Jacob was bringing a ghost girl. Where is she?"

"She's right here." Sam said and pointed at me. I grinned, pleased that they were finally understanding.

"She can't see me. I could be doing cartwheels around her and she wouldn't know."

"Why not?" Embry asked.

"Because she's not dead. Or, apparently, a werewolf because you can see me for some bizarre reason." I said and shrugged, "Look, I don't know how it works. It just happens this way."

"Sam?" Emily asked again, a little nervously since all the guys were staring at what appeared, to her, to be an empty patch of air. Sam turned to her and ran his hands calmingly up and down her arms.

"Let's go inside, sweetheart. We can figure this out inside."

They started to trek inside and Jacob looked down at me.

"Everything OK?"

"I don't know. This situation is beyond weird. You're a werewolf, Jacob." I stared up at this boy that I'd watched grow up, who'd spent most of his childhood covered in mud and watching Charlie and Billy gutting fish.

He was a werewolf.

"Werewolves, Vampires and Ghosts. Forks sure has got it all." I murmured and he looked down sharply.

"Yeah… well, let's get inside." He said abruptly and I frowned at his retreating back. Random mood change, much?

I walked up to the house and stepped inside nervously. The wolf boys were all sat at a large kitchen table, devouring great plates of food. Emily was hovering nearby and Sam reached for her instinctively, an arm around her waist. That made me curious; I'd thought that Sam was Leah Clearwater's boyfriend? Or maybe that had changed in the past couple of months. Who knew?

I hovered by the door and Jacob waved to me, a muffin in his large hand.

"Come on in, Bella."

"Would she like to sit down?" Emily asked, still glancing around a little nervously. I shook my head.

"I'm good, thanks."

"She says she's fine." Jacob said through a mouthful of blueberry muffin.

"Would she like some food?" Emily offered and I smiled.

"I can't eat, but thank you." Again, Jacob relayed this message and I looked over at Sam.

"So, you're the Wolf Boss?"

"Alpha of the pack." He confirmed and put down the bread roll that he'd been chewing on. I wrapped my arms around my waist, watching him closely.

"How did this happen?" I asked softly, "How did you… become wolves? I mean, you weren't always wolves, right?"

"It's a fairly recent development." One of the other boys said with a grin and Jacob pointed at him.

"That's Jared. You already know Embry and the one in the corner is Paul."

"We became wolves to protect our tribe." Sam interrupted abruptly, "From threats."

"Threats?" I scoffed, "Like what? This is Forks."

"A new threat." Paul, the angry looking one, said sharply, glaring at me.

They all stopped eating and looked at me. I met Jacob's eyes and he was watching me, willing me to understand. And I did.

I shifted uncomfortably and then shook my head.

"They're… they don't feed from people." I said chokingly, shrinking away from their glares. Paul gave a soft growl and Sam gave him a warning glance.

"You smell like the Cullens, Bella Swan. You smell like the enemy."

"Why are they your enemy?" I asked curiously, "They don't even come to La Push, Carl- I mean… they mentioned a treaty."

"That's the reason they're allowed to stay in Forks," Jacob explained, "As long as they hunt outside our lands and don't attack humans, they can stay."

This was news to me. I leaned against an exposed wooden beam, watching as they picked at the last remnants of the food, all throwing me uncertain glances. After a long moment, Sam straightened up and looked me in the eye.

"What do you know about the Cullens?"

"I'm not going to feed you information about them!"

"How do we know that she isn't a spy?" Paul snarled and I scowled at him.

"A spy? What the hell would I tell them? That you're all grotesquely hairy and spend all day stuffing your faces with food?"

Jacob and Embry both laughed and even Jared cracked a smile. Emily looked like she'd given up trying to understand the situation and was collecting the plates. Paul glared at me, his fists clenching but Sam gave him another look.

"Bella, Paul does raise a good point. Why are you here now?" He asked and Jacob frowned.

"C'mon, Sam…" He said, but he glanced at me in a way that suggested he'd been wondering this himself.

Now, did I really want to admit to a pack of werewolves that I'd had a fight with my vampire-buddies after they'd already expressed some extreme animosity towards aforementioned buddies?

Not so much.

I swallowed and shrugged, avoiding their looks.

"I come up here from time to time. To check on Jacob and Billy. See how they're doing."

"How did you meet the Cullens?" Embry asked and I shrugged again, rocking on my feet.

"Um… well, they could see me. I guess… well, they're dead. And people who are dead or dying can see me."

"Then how comes we can see you?" Jacob wondered aloud and Sam made a 'hmm' noise.

"Well, we don't age. It's not the same as being dead, but we don't change, maybe it works the same way." He suggested. I kind of wanted to put that theory forward to Carlisle. He'd make sense of it.

God, this was a mess. I couldn't believe how much I missed them. Carlisle and Edward especially. I guess I should have been relieved that Edward hadn't been there when I'd overheard the conversation. He would have stopped me; I couldn't have walked away from him. I wouldn't have wanted to.

"Bella?"

My head jerked up and I realised that I'd been staring at the floor. And that my eyes were filled with tears. God, how embarrassing. I cleared my throat and Jacob pushed himself up, crossing to me with concern etched on his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I pressed back against the wall.

"I'm fine. I'm…" My voice faded away.

He leaned against a nearby surface, eyes fixed on my face. I breathed deeply and looked at Sam.

"I'm not here about the Cullens. I didn't know about you all being… what you are."

"How do we know you won't go back and tell them about us?" Sam asked, not harshly but with a sense of responsibility, taking on the role of chief amongst the group. I stared at the floor.

"I'm… I'm not really… seeing them. Anymore."

"What do you mean?" Jacob asked quickly and I hugged my arms around my waist, feeling tears pricking again. Jesus, this was embarrassing.

"We had a… a fight, I guess. I walked out today."

"Why?" Paul demanded and I glared at him.

"None of your business."

"You're running away from them. That's why you came to La Push, you already knew they couldn't get to you here." He pointed out and anger surged through my veins, red hot at his judgement of my actions, "How do we know they won't come here after you?"

"Because they wouldn't do that!" I said loudly. Paul scoffed and looked at Sam.

"You listening to this bullshit? She's leading them straight here! If the treaty is broken-"

"Hell, I didn't realise werewolf was Quileute for asshole." I spat and turned, storming through the closed door. I heard an intake of breath behind me but ignored it. That reaction got old quick. The door flew open and Jacob's voice called after me. He caught my arm and spun me around but I stepped back, looking daggers at him.

"Back off, Jacob. I didn't come here to be accused and harassed!"

He frowned and held up his hands in a surrendering pose.

"Look, Paul's just an ass. We're all a little edgy thinking about the Cullens, but just because you keep company with-"

"Will you please just stop talking about the god damn Cullens?" I hissed, pushing my hair out of my face, "I am sick of it. I am sick of hearing about them, about thinking about them, after what they did-"

"What did they do?" Jacob's voice was concerned and I turned away.

"Stop it, Jake."

"Did they hurt you?" He sounded angry.

"I said stop it!"

"Bella-"

"Stop it!" I half screamed, taking a few steps away, putting a shield up around me as I turned to glare at him, "Just stop it!"

"You were crying." He said softly, as though just remembering, "When you came to the garage, you were crying. What did they do to you?"

"They LIED, okay?" I shouted, and the tears began falling unstoppably as all the frustration and anger and hurt bubbled to the surface, "They lied to me! The only people to see me in ten fucking years and they messed me up! They… shit, they welcomed me and told me that they cared and that they wanted me around and then I found out that it was all bullshit and they just… they…"

I shook my head, trying to speak around the lump in my throat. I was vaguely aware of the other boys listening from the door, keeping out of the light rain that was now plastering my hair to my face. Jacob was staring at me, his expression unreadable. I swallowed hard.

"Ten years, Jacob. Ten years of just me, just… nothing. And then they came along and Alice was my friend and Carlisle told me that he wanted me to be a part of their family, he and Esme both. Emmett was like my brother, he was wonderful to me and… and Edward…"

I sobbed. I couldn't help it. I was like an emotional teenager crying over her first break up. Before I could move, I was wrapped in Jacob's arms, my face pressed into his hot chest. One hand ran up and down my back comfortingly and he made shushing noises.

"It's OK, Bells. It's OK." Bells? Really? "Look… let's just go back to mine and you can settle down. It's getting late, you can take my bed, I'll crash on the couch and-"

"I don't sleep."

"Oh. Well, you can still hang out. What do you like to do?" He asked and I sniffled.

"Um. Read, I guess."

"I've got books. Most of them have never been read, it'll be like you're at a bookstore."

I was silent for a long moment, my face still squashed against his grey t-shirt. He smelt musty and slightly metallic, like the oil he usually had smeared over his clothes.

"That sounds good."

Jacob was asleep quickly and I could hear his snoring from the living room of the tiny house. I was reading my way through a copy of The Jungle Book that had been either Rachel or Rebecca's. I hadn't read it before and was trying to engross myself in the adventures of Mowgli and his wolf family, feeling very aware of the wolves. After all, boys and wolves had suddenly become rather prominent features of my existence.

I was restless and fidgeted uncontrollably. And when I got like this, I liked to organise. In fact, by the time Billy rolled through to the kitchen, I had alphabetised the books, the DVDs and the three years worth of TV magazines that were stuffed in the magazine rack. Billy didn't seem to notice anything and I wandered into the kitchen after him, watching as he fixed himself a plate of toast. He hummed lightly to himself before shouting over his shoulder.

"Rise and shine, kid!"

"I'm up." Jake yawned his way into the kitchen and leaned over to steal a bit of Billy's toast. I smacked his fingers, scowling and he yelped, pulling back. Billy shot him a weird glance.

"Uh… cramp." He mumbled and shot me a dirty look.

"You can fix your own damn breakfast, Jake." I told him sternly and he pouted, going to the cupboard and taking out a bowl, pouring himself a huge portion of cereal. He slumped at the table and began to shovel the food into his mouth. I pulled a face.

"Table manners, boy. I taught you better than that." Billy scolded and I smirked.

"Listen to your old man. Wise guy, he is."

He rolled his eyes, still chomping away. Billy sighed and they finished their breakfast in companionable silence. As he slurped up the last of his milk, Jacob let out a soft burp.

"Any plans today, Dad?"

"Charlie's heading up. We're going fishing and then we're going to Charlie's for the game. You want to meet up with us for some pizza?"

"Sure sure." Jacob nodded and went to the sink, preparing to dump his bowl. I cleared my throat and he sighed, before washing it under the tap and setting it on the draining board. There was a knock at the door and Billy pushed himself back from the table.

"That'll be Charlie."

Jacob shot me an uncertain look and I sighed, pushing myself away from the wall and going into the living room. Charlie was leaning against the doorframe and nodded to Jacob.

"Morning, Jacob."

"Morning, Charlie." Jacob said as casually as he could and I sighed.

"Don't be weird, Jake. It's not like he knows I'm here." I reminded him but he still watched Charlie with a furrowed brow. My father, for his part, tilted his head at Jacob.

"You OK there, kid?"

"…Yeah." Jacob nodded and Billy glanced up at him.

"Sure you don't want to come fishing?"

"Very sure," Jacob grinned, "I'm not into the whole sitting still thing."

"That's youth for you." Charlie chuckled as he followed Billy down the ramp, "See you around eight, Jake."

He waved them goodbye before shutting the door and looking at me curiously.

"Are you OK? Seeing Charlie…"

"I've been hanging around for ten years, Jake. It doesn't upset me to be around him. As I said, It's not like he knows I'm here anyway." I shrugged, brushing those familiar feelings away, "Come on, Jacob. I think we need to talk."

I watched Jacob work on the Rabbit for most of Saturday. He seemed very much at home in the garage, covered in oil and surrounded by pieces of metal. But he was different – on edge, as though he was waiting for something, waiting for orders. I let him talk. He blabbered on for over an hour about being a wolf, about how it felt and how much he disliked the others being able to hear his thoughts and how proud his dad was about him being a 'defender of the tribe'. He even told me about imprinting.

"And Sam just saw Emily and it was… I saw it, in his memories, it was like nothing else mattered. Like lightening striking and suddenly he knew why he was on earth. To be with her."

Jacob shuddered and I crossed my legs under me on the workbench, wiping the oil from a spanner he'd just handed me. I frowned.

"That sounds…"

"It's awful, right? I mean… just losing all of your free will like that? I mean, Sam seems fine, he loves Emily but-"

"Poor Leah." I murmured and Jacob sighed.

"I know."

"So, are you going to imprint, one day?" I asked curiously and he pulled a face.

"I hope not. But… there's always a chance. I guess."

It was a horrible thought. I wiped the spanner slowly, soaking up the oil in the cloth of an old rag. To lose everything that you thought you knew in a single moment. And to not even care, how could that be better?

I glanced up, feeling Jacob's eyes on me. He was watching with a strange intensity and I smiled weakly.

"That's a lot to take in, huh?"

"Ghosts and vampires and werewolves."

"Oh my."

"I see your sense of humour died with you."

"Cram it, wolf boy." I threw the oily rag at him and he caught it easily, grinning.

"Manners, ghost girl."

I stiffened and shook my head.

"Don't… don't call me that." I murmured. Jacob frowned and walked over to me, putting the rag down beside me on the bench.

"Bella?" He said softly and I looked up at him. There was a deep furrow between his black eyebrows and I wanted to smooth it out, because he was still just a boy and he shouldn't have such a heavy weight on his shoulders. My hand half twitched towards his face but before I could decide whether or not it was a good idea, he caught my hand with his large paw, twining his hot fingers with mine.

"Bella," He said quietly, "I've only hung out with you for twenty-four hours and I definitely don't want to stop you being around. So whatever those leeches did to drive you away, they're going to be kicking themselves because… because you're pretty damn special."

I stayed on the reservation for the whole weekend, hanging out with Jake and Embry. When I asked them about Quil's whereabouts, they explained that they were waiting for him to change.

"It won't be long. His temper keeps flaring up and his grandfather said that he's coming down with a temperature. He'll be a wolf before the end of the week." Embry said confidently. Jacob chuckled.

"He's going to freak. Bet you ten bucks it takes him more than a day to figure out how to change back."

"You're on. It only took me about fifteen hours and Quil's got it in his blood."

I rolled my eyes at their banter, grinning as Embry shovelled a handful of potato chips into his mouth. These boys ate a lot – Jacob was eating Billy out of house and home, it was a good thing the girls didn't live at home anymore.

"Do you ever miss food, Bella?" Embry asked curiously and I sighed.

"Yeah, sometimes. There are some days when I could just kill for a burger. I loved to cook as well, but there isn't much opportunity for it these days. I have to keep an eye on Charlie's cooking though, he's picking up bad habits. I thought I'd cured him of those when I moved in."

"How long did you live with him for before…?" Embry seemed uncomfortable with saying the word.

"I died? Almost a year. Before that I'd only really spent the summers with him, I lived with my Mom before then."

Jacob stretched lazily, his hand brushing against my ankle, where I was sat higher than him. We were sat on the log pile outside the garage. The sun was out, but the air was still chilly. However, both boys were dressed in only denim cut-offs, the cold air not affecting their overheated wolf bodies. The heat of Jacob's skin against mine was burning, but I didn't mind. For some reason, all the tension I felt with physical contact with the Cullens didn't seem as bad with Jacob. Perhaps it was the easiness with which he initiated it, or the fact that I had known him for so much longer. He tickled my bare ankle and I jerked my foot, giving him a fake scowl.

"Knock it off, Jake. Have you done your homework yet?"

"Quit nagging me, woman!" He chuckled, squeezing my leg, "I did it at Charlie's on Saturday night."

I had stayed on the reservation last night.

I had to decide whether or not I was going back to Forks High the next day. I was in no way ready to face the Cullens, but I hated the idea of being driven away when I had been there first. I let out a breath and Jacob looked up at me, shielding his eyes from the light of the setting sun.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much." I said softly, sliding down to the next bench to sit next to Jacob. He curled an arm around me and I leant my head in his shoulder. His body heat was like a cocoon, a warm blanket that protected me. I felt vulnerable around Jacob, but different from the vulnerability around the Cullens. Jacob felt comforting and secure, not dangerous and exciting.

I didn't know which I preferred.

"Well, children, I'm going home, dinner will be ready." Embry said, stretching out and waving his goodbye. We watched as he ran into the forest and, a second later, heard a soft howl. Neither of us made a move to go back inside, the soft orange light flooding us. I closed my eyes and listened to Jacob's soft breathing. His hand was tracing irregular patterns against the cold skin of my upper arm, and even that screamed of warmth and security and home.

"Will you ever go back?" Jacob asked softly and I gave a gentle sigh.

"I'll have to. Charlie…"

"They can get to you at his house." He mused and I nodded.

"Yeah. They wouldn't though. They won't do anything that might blow their cover."

"Will you tell me what they did?" Jacob murmured, twisting his head to place it closer to mine. I felt his lips move against my forehead as he spoke.

I was silent for a long moment and he reached across, grasping my hand with his free one.

"You can tell me anything, Bella." He insisted and I smiled to myself.

"I know. I know I can." I replied, "I just don't know how to explain it. They're… I mean, can you even imagine being completely isolated for ten years? They welcomed me into their home, Jacob, after all that time and it was wonderful. They understood me, they welcomed me, they treated me like I was one of them."

The lump in my throat was so painful, I lifted my free hand to my neck, squeezing my eyes closed.

"I was… I felt for them, Jake. They were like my family; they were so good to me. Alice was my friend, like my best friend. Even when I was alive, I didn't have a friend like her." I said, my voice sounding weird around my constricted throat and I cleared my throat, hoping to sound more normal. Jacob sighed, pressing his cheek to my forehead.

"There's more than that, right? The other night, when you arrived, you got really upset about… one of them." He said quietly. I didn't reply straightaway, instantly uncomfortable. Suddenly the warmth of his arm around me was too much, too hot, his hand on mine was calloused and burning instead of smooth and warm.

He wasn't Edward.

I stood up quickly, my hands in my hair as I tugged it back against my skull. Jacob leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees and a frown on his face as he watched me stare at the ground.

"There was… one of them. Called Edward." I whispered hoarsely and Jacob tensed, as though knowing what I was going to say. "I was… I think I was…"

"You love him."

It sounded so harsh from Jacob's lips and I looked over at him. The sun had dipped lower and his face was cast in the shadow of the garage. His eyes burned into mine and I shrugged awkwardly.

"I don't… not love. It wasn't love."

"But it was getting there."

"…Yeah." My dead heart was clenching and aching. I folded my arms over my chest, almost hoping it would ease the pain. Jacob stood up and I let out a shuddering breath.

"It doesn't matter. I was just one in a long line and he… I just fell for it."

"He hurt you." Jacob said, his voice hard. I didn't reply and I felt his hands on my shoulders, turning me to face him. I looked up at him as the last of the sun slipped away over the top of the garage.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Bella."

A/N: Hello darlings! I know, I know… absolutely NO Edward in this chapter. Don't worry, his time is coming! And yes, this is an Edward/Bella story. But why make it easy? No fun that way!

Smooches to SarahBeta and a very Happy Birthday to her as well!

Thank you SO much for all the reviews! And a big wave to all my fellow ADF campers! Thank you for making the long trek over here – since it was recced there, the fav/alert emails have been flooding my inbox. It does the ego good.

Follow The Light – Bella has the chance to let go of the bad stuff that's happened, with the Cullens and move forward (Light – Jacob – Sun metaphor thing. I dunno, made sense when I chose the song!)

Remember, you can follow me on Twitter – /Kat097 – come and say hi. I like making new friends.

Ooh, and I have a new oneshot up. A short Rosalie/Emmett piece called 'A Week in the Unchanging Life of Rosalie Hale'. Pop over and read it, if you can!

Reviewers will receive their chosen Cullen/Werewolf and a log pile to make out on.