Chapter Twenty

It was so easy that night,
Should have been strong, yeah I lied,
Nobody gets me like you,
I know everything changes,
All the cities and faces,
But I know how I feel about you,
Can we bring yesterday back around,
Cos I know how I feel about you now,
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down,
But I know how I feel about you now

~About You Now by The Sugababes~

Charlie was asleep in front of the television when I got in. I went over to him and curled up on the floor by his feet, leaning my head against the arm of his chair. The heat from his leg reached my skin and I repressed the urge to touch him, although I wanted nothing more than to put my arms around him and let him know that I was here, to have him comfort me. The light from the television flickered over his features. I closed my eyes, my heart aching with love for him and for the normality that his presence created. His familiar smell of peppermint and leather and the tobacco that one of the deputies smoked filled my senses and I sighed.

"I don't know what to do, Charlie." I said softly, "I don't know if I can forgive them. I can't stay away. Jake's going to be so hurt. Whatever decision I make, someone is going to be hurt."

I traced a finger lightly down the side of his trousers, feeling the roughness of the fabric against my fingertip. He didn't stir and I looked at the clock. It was almost one in the morning and Charlie really needed to go to bed, so I turned off the television and pushed the remote off of the arm of the chair. It landed lightly on his leg and he jerked away, yawning and glancing at the clock. He stretched, rubbing his face with one hand and headed for the stairs.

I stayed where I was, pulling my knees up to my chest and burying my head in my arms, closing my arms and wishing that I could sleep, just so that I could have a moment of peace.

The sun rose, soft light creeping across the floor towards me. I watched its progression with half-hearted interest before going into the kitchen and turning on the coffeemaker. It began to whir and drip quietly and I listened carefully as I heard Charlie stirring, the humming of the pipes as the shower kicked into action.

I watched Charlie eat breakfast, listening to the radio as he chewed on a piece of toast. We both looked around in surprise as there was a knock at the door, interrupting the morning news. I followed as him as he went to answer, only to find Jacob on the door step, rubbing his hand through his scruffy hair.

"Morning, Jacob. Everything OK?" Charlie asked in concern. Jacob nodded and his eyes went past Charlie to me, his gaze scanning me from head to foot.

"Uh, yeah. Just passing by."

"You're taking a real roundabout route to school, aren't you?" Charlie raised an eyebrow and I smiled. Jacob shuffled awkwardly, avoiding my eye.

"Yeah, I had to pick something up before school. And Dad was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight. I'm going to try and not burn something."

"That sounds good, kid. I've got to get to the station, you'd better hurry or you'll be late."

"Sure, I'm going. See you tonight, Charlie." He threw me a look that said he'd be hanging around as Charlie picked up his stuff. I gestured to the back of the house, where it backed onto the woods, indicating that he should meet me there.

I went out to the back and stepped through the dew-damp grass. The sky had clouded over but it didn't look like it would rain. I leant against a tree, waiting until I heard Charlie's cruiser pull away and, sure enough, a moment later Jacob had appeared. He crossed to me quickly and I thought he was going to hug me, but he paused a few feet away, his eyes still searching me as though for something different.

"Hi kid." I smiled faintly and his brow furrowed as he finally looked me in the face.

"You said that you'd come back." He said darkly and I looked away awkwardly.

"I was going to."

"When?"

"Geez Jacob, you sound like a parent." I rolled my eyes at him and he growled.

"I was worried, Bella! I woke up and you were gone." He said crossly and I folded my arms, eying him and feeling mildly irritated.

"Jake – ten years . I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself for a couple of hours."

"That was before I knew you and that there were vampires in the area."

I took a deep breath and Jacob sighed heavily, taking a step closer, his hand in his hair again.

"Bells… you can't disappear like that and expect me not to worry. You're my…" oh god, what was he going to say? "You're my ghost friend who's a girl who I really like. Or something."

He shuffled awkwardly before looking at me again.

"I thought I… I scared you away. With what I said, I mean. I came on kinda strong-"

"Yes, you did. But then, I kind of threw myself at you as well. Just not in that way. At least, I didn't mean to." I said quietly and Jacob shook his head.

"No, you didn't. I just keep feeling this pull towards you and I don't know it means. It's not like anything else that I've ever felt before." He frowned and I moved forward, patting his arm. He lifted it to wrap around my shoulders, pulling me close for a hug. I put my arms around his neck, cuddling him close, full of affection for my wolf boy.

"You'd better get going or you'll be late for school." I said and he nodded, squeezing my shoulders.

"How did it go? With the lee-… with them?" He asked, a little sullenly and I couldn't help smiling at his sulky attitude.

"It was… OK. I guess. Things aren't going to get better just like that. They hurt me and I guess that I took advantage of them too. I expected them to kind of rearrange their whole lives for me. I think that was why Rosalie was so mad."

Jacob didn't really understand what I meant, but he smiled anyway and took my hand, leading me towards the front of the house.

"You'll come over?"

"Yeah. Not tonight. Tomorrow, maybe?"

"Tomorrow's good." He agreed, "We'll take care of Charlie tonight."

"What are you cooking him?" I asked as we walked to the front of the house.

"Emily gave me the recipe for this casserole thing. It looks fairly easy and if not, we have the pizza place on speed-dial."

"I broke Charlie of his bad eating habits, I'll break you too." I told him sternly and he chuckled, glancing around to make sure that nobody was around before leaning down and kissing my forehead. "See you soon, Bells."

"Bye kid."

"I'm not a kid!" He pouted, heading for his bike.

I got to school about fifteen minutes before the first bell. Since it wasn't raining, the parking lot was crowded with kids all catching up after the weekend. Angela was sitting next to Jessica on the wall, watching as Ben and Mike play-wrestled, pushing each other towards a muddy puddle. Jess rolled her eyes at their childishness but Angela was smiling softly as Ben straightened, laughing loudly. Their eyes met and Ben flushed slightly before stumbling as Mike elbowed him in the ribs.

"Are you going to ask him to the girls' choice dance at the end of the month?" Jessica asked her and Angela shook her head shyly.

"No, I couldn't…"

"I think you'll have to. God knows he'll never work up the nerve." Jessica said dismissively and Angela shrugged uncertainly, but her eyes were fixed on Ben.

I glanced over to where the Cullen cars were parked. Emmett and Rosalie were standing together, talking quietly. Jasper, Alice and Edward were gathered by the Volvo, Alice showing Jasper something on her phone. She looked briefly over her shoulder at me and offered a tiny smile before pulling Jasper towards the school entrance.

I hung around Angela, following her towards the classroom. Hers wasn't far from my English class so I parted with her there and slipped into my room. The students were settling down as Mr Lewis called their attention to their final novel of the school year – Dracula.

You. Are. Kidding me.

I groaned, slumping over my desk as they started to pass out the novels.

My afterlife was just one big joke.

I shuffled from class to class and when lunch finally arrived, I was flittering between nervousness and wanting to run and hide in the library.

"You don't have to sit with us. But there's a chair free, if you want it." Alice murmured as she swept past, graceful in her every moment as she approached the cafeteria, other students falling out of her way but as usual, she was oblivious to the stares.

I hesitated in the doorway to the cafeteria, watching as the Cullens gathered around their table before shuffling in. Sure enough, there was a chair pulled out between Alice and Emmett, just waiting for me to come and sit down. I looked at it quickly and then over at Angela's table. She was waiting for everyone else, picking at a sandwich and looked miserable.

"She's too afraid to ask Ben to the dance." Edward murmured, standing beside the door under the guise of digging through his satchel, looking for something.

"Will she?"

"I'm not the psychic." He gave me a crooked smile before moving off to join his family. He was giving me space and I appreciated it. I looked back at Angela. Ben was sitting down and she smiled weakly at him. I went over and perched on the edge of the table, listening in.

"Hey Angela."

"Hi Ben." She said softly as he arranged his tray, tearing open a packet of chips and dismantling his sandwich, lining the bread with the chips. Angela watched with a faint smile and then wrinkled her nose.

"That's kind of weird." She murmured and Ben chuckled softly.

"Yeah, I know. My mom always does it and I guess that I picked up her bad habits." He said, putting the sandwich back together and cutting it in half. Angela rolled a cherry tomato around her plate, sneaking glances up at him.

I sneaked a look over my shoulder at the Cullens. Alice was watching me with a smile and tapped the bottle of lemonade in front of her before looking at the same brand of bottle in front of Ben. Neither of them were watching, both staring at anything but each other, the tension palpable. I reached over and gave the bottle a little push. It wobbled and instinctively each of them reached out to steady it before it spilled and their fingers tightened around it.

"Oh, sorry!" Angela stammered, pulling her fingers back and curling them into her lap. Ben was smiling helplessly and tapped his fingers against the bottle.

"So, um… are you… are you going to the dance?" He stammered before swallowing and staring at the ceiling, looking as though he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

"I… I don't know." Angela said, flushing pink. Ben was watching her, with an almost hopeful expression.

"It's… uh, it's girl's choice, right?"

"So Jess says." Angela whispered and Ben swallowed hard, staring at the label on his bottle.

"Is she going to ask Mike?"

"Yeah, I think so. She briefly wondered about Edward Cullen, but…"

"He wouldn't. I don't think he's the school dance type."

"Or the Jessica type." Angela said with a tiny smile. I smirked and looked over at the Cullen table again. Emmett was grinning at Edward, who glowered at him.

Ben took a sip of his lemonade and cleared his throat awkwardly. Angela tightened her hands into fists in her lap and seemed to steel herself.

"Um, are you… going? To the dance?" She asked haltingly and he froze, staring at her.

"Uh, maybe."

"Maybe?"

"If someone asks." He said, still staring and she gulped.

"If I asked?"

"Yes."

"You will?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Good."

They were wearing matching grins and I was as well. I slid off of the end of the table, feeling like I'd achieved something with my lunch break – I should have done that a long time ago, used my powers of… being dead, for good. Edward was watching me with a faint smile and it warmed me as I walked towards the doors, intending to start a new book in the library.

Biology. I was the first one there and sat waiting for Edward to arrive. In the light of day, I felt stronger, not the emotional mess that I'd been the night before. I scratched a mark on the table as I waited.

I wanted to see them so much, but it was too awkward to just go to their house. All of them at once, it was too much. I felt like a slow integration would be a good start. Rushing back in would feel hypocritical after the overly dramatic way that I'd left. I needed to be at peace, with myself and with them. I needed to figure out how to balance a potential life and friendship with the Cullens and how to keep Jacob as well. Could I do both?

I wasn't sure.

I looked up as Edward slid into his seat, his book in his hand. Being at the back of the class, no one noticed as he shot me a slight smile before opening his book. I looked down at the desk again as Mr Banner handed out lab sheets and boxes of slides. As the other pairs began to work noisily, the volume rising, he murmured under his breath.

"That was a nice thing you did for Angela."

I examined his profile as he stared down the lens of the microscope and then shrugged, twisting a strand of hair between my fingers.

"She's a sweet girl. She deserves to be happy." I said quietly and he smiled that weird secretive smile.

"Yes. She deserves it."

He noted something down on his worksheet before giving me a sideways glance, his amber eyes piercing mine.

"Did Charlie get a dog?" He asked curiously and I frowned.

"No, why?"

"There's a strange smell." He said, eying me and I scowled.

"OK, Alice said something about a smell last night. There is no smell, and especially not a-"

I fell silent as realisation dawned. Wolves. Dogs. Dog smell. Super-vampire-sense-of-smell.

Wow. Awkward.

"Bella?" He was watching me closely and his hand slid towards mine where it was resting on the desk but seemed to hesitate, merely leaving it near to mine.

"I had a weird weekend." I whispered and he eyed me closely before writing something else on his worksheet.

"Will you tell me about it tonight?"

"I'm not coming over tonight." He looked at me again, out of the corner of his eye and I pushed my hair out of my face, "Too much, too soon."

"May I see you tonight? Somewhere away from the house, if it makes you uncomfortable."

Conundrum. While I didn't want to be with all of them at once, being alone with any of them made me equally uncomfortable.

"And Alice. If she wants to." I suggested and he nodded, "And Jasper, I guess."

"I'm sure she's already arranging a time and place." Edward murmured and then pulled his phone out under the desk as a text arrived, "Ah. Ten tonight, at the park on West Street?"

"That's fine." I confirmed before glancing down at his worksheet, trying to act like I was absolutely absorbed with Biology.

I'm pretty sure he didn't stop smiling all the way through the game.

The park was deserted at ten, probably because it had rained earlier. Jasper, Alice and Edward were already waiting, Alice hanging upside down on the jungle gym but she swung herself around and landed lightly on her feet as I approached.

"Charlie all tucked up in bed?"

"He's such a handful." I joked weakly, tucking my hands into the pockets of my hoodie and she laughed, walking towards me. She stopped a few steps away, still smiling.

"I'm really glad you're here, Bella. I missed you. We all have."

"You screwed up. But I screwed up too." I said, taking a deep breath, "I was kind of selfish and I'm sorry that I… that I made so many assumptions." I didn't know how to phrase it better than that. It's never fun to admit that you're wrong and I was embarrassed by my dramatic reaction.

"I'm sorry that we didn't tell you about the vision." Alice said softly, "I'm not looking to see if it's still going to happen, even though it's incredibly frustrating. I'm going to try and do things the slow way."

She took another step, still uncertain of how close to come and I smiled, taking my hands out of my pockets and letting them hang by my sides instead.

"I had a really weird weekend, Alice, and I had a lot of time to think about what happened."

"We never intended to lie." She interrupted, "We want you in our family. Carlisle's experiments were… there was a reason for them. He wanted to find out if we could permanently hurt you if there were any… accidents. But he didn't go about it the right way and we know that now."

I looked at her small, earnest face, so desperate for me to believe her. She smiled and I returned it, nodding.

"Fresh start? I mean, there's a lot to go over but… I already know that you're a part of my life and I hope you will be for a long time yet so… fresh start?"

"That would be good." She agreed and then jumped towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist in a tight hug, "Oh Bella, I missed you so much. You're my best friend, I was so scared that you would never come back, I couldn't see you at all." She mumbled into my shoulder and I lifted my arms, embracing her affectionately. Being starved of their attention for the weekend and becoming accustomed to contact by Jacob, I had little difficulty in the action. It was still strange and I was wary of their strength, but her touch was warm and as I bowed my head, her hair tickled my cheek, soft and sweet smelling.

It was not a resolved situation. It was putting things on the backburner because in spite of what had happened, these vampires made me happy. And I wanted to be happy. Nothing is black and white, right? If daytime soap operas had taught me anything in the last decade, it was that you had to take the good with the bad and overlook some of the things you didn't like.

After several long minutes, Alice pulled back but took my hand with a bright smile.

"Come on, Bella. Let's play."

We spent the whole night at the playground, sitting on the jungle gym and talking about school, spinning on the roundabout (apparently ghosts can feel nauseous, even if we can't actually vomit) and by three in the morning, Alice and I were sat on the swings, Jasper pushing her gently and Edward leaning against the frame and watching us.

"So you can't remember anything about your human life?" I asked Alice, who shrugged as I scuffed my feet against the rubber matting under the swing set.

"No, not a thing. I don't know if I had a family or if I still do. Carlisle and I had a brief look into it, but I when I woke up from the change, all I knew was that my name was Alice." She explained, kicking her legs so she swung higher than my pathetic swaying. "Besides, almost as soon as I woke up, I saw Jasper. And then after just a few days, I saw Carlisle and the others, so I decided to concentrate on them instead of wondering about what was gone."

Alice looked up, smiling at Jasper and he planted a swift kiss on her forehead before pushing her again. I smiled to myself and caught Edward's eye. He was watching me and his lips curved faintly as we looked at each other.

"What about your family? Anyone other than Charlie out there?" Alice asked and I nodded, kicking at the dirt to give myself a push.

"My mom. She got remarried when I was seventeen and I came to live with Charlie. But we didn't have any other family."

"You said you didn't go to see her after you died, why not?" Alice queried and I sighed.

"Well, like I said, Charlie doesn't have anyone else."

"Why doesn't she come to see your grave?" Edward wondered and I put my feet down, grinding to a halt, the dirt flying around my feet.

"Because she and Charlie had a fight."

"A fight?"

"At my funeral." I murmured and Alice stared at me in horror.

"What? Why?"

I turned my eyes to Edward, who was still, patient. For a long moment I didn't speak and he pushed himself away from the frame, moving to stand behind me. His hands grasped the edge of my seat and he began to push me gently. The wind threw my hair back as I kicked my legs out and I leant my head against the chain as I swung softly.

"Because she blamed him for my death. Because…" I closed my eyes, "Because the car that hit me was being driven by a man who had just robbed the grocery store and Charlie was chasing it in his cruiser."

They were all silent and I opened my eyes again.

"I never blamed him. How could I? It was an accident. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But Mom… she got mad. Made a total scene, screaming at him that it was all his fault and that he should have taken better care of me. And the worst part was that he believed it, he does blame himself."

"That's so sad." Alice whispered, "Your dad seems like such a nice man."

"He's the best. He's a great dad. He wasn't always the best at showing it, but he really was." I said quietly.

We fell into silence and Edward continued to push me gently. Alice stepped off the swing and caught Jasper's hand, pulling him towards the slide. I expected Edward to take her empty swing, but he carried on pushing, his hands sliding down to press against my back.

At lunch the next day, Emmett was the first on at the Cullen table. I hesitated by the door but he caught sight of me and pushed out the chair opposite him with his foot, winking as he did so. I couldn't help smiling and crossed to him, sliding into the chair as he rearranged the food on his tray.

"Anything good for lunch today?" I asked.

"Well, I filled up on bear last night, so I'm not that hungry." He said quietly, smiling at me. I put my arms on the table, watching as he pulled bits of his sandwich apart to make it look as though he'd been eating it.

"You'd better watch yourself, I hear that bear is just full of empty calories." I muttered and he chuckled as Rosalie sat beside him. She met my eye and inclined her head slightly to acknowledge my presence.

"Will we be seeing you tonight, Sweetpea?" Emmett asked as the others arrived and I shook my head.

"No, I'm going to see Jacob tonight."

"Jacob?" Alice asked, pushing her food around and Edward looked at me quickly.

"The Quileute boy?"

"That's the one." I said and Alice frowned slightly.

"Oh… is that where you were this weekend?" I nodded and she sighed, "It's strange, I can't see you when you're on the reservation."

"Even if I plan to come back?"

"Even then. There's something about that place that blocks you from my sight completely." She looked concerned and I frowned. Was that a werewolf thing?

"Why visit someone who doesn't even know that you're there?" Rosalie asked tersely and I looked at her curiously. For some reason, this felt like a test.

I hoped that I wouldn't fail.

"That's a tricky one." I admitted. "One that I'd really rather not get into at lunch."

"The four of us," Alice gestured to herself, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, "Are going to Seattle tonight for a little shopping. We thought that you might want to talk to Carlisle without a full house. So maybe after your friend has gone to sleep, you could go talk to him. You know, if you want to. No pressure or anything, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you didn't-"

"Alice, it's a good thing you don't need to breathe, because you'd be unconscious by now." I interrupted and Emmett snorted, flicking a bit of his sandwich at Alice, who pulled a disgusted face.

"You're such a child, Emmett! Anyway, Bella, the invitation is open. Carlisle and Esme will be home all night."

I didn't reply for a few minutes, thinking carefully. Jacob would need his sleep or if he was patrolling, he wouldn't want me around anyway, he'd be too busy. I could go and spend the evening with him and then hike over to the Cullen house.

"Um, yeah. That should be fine." I said and it struck me how odd it was that I now needed to keep track of social events when only a few months ago, I'd been invisible to everyone.

Huh. Maybe I'd get facebook.

"So, how did the cooking go?" I asked and Jacob beamed proudly, apparently deciding that the blackened pan in the sink was not a sign of poor cooking skills. He'd greeted me with an enthusiastic hug and I'd sat with him in the kitchen, helping him finish his homework.

"They liked it and nobody got poisoned. I'm calling that a success." He grinned and I smiled as he began to push his books into his backpack, "So, what do you want to do tonight? Embry's coming over and then we have to go patrolling around midnight, but until then, I'm all yours."

I rolled my eyes and Jacob gestured towards the back door. We moved towards it, making our way towards the garage.

"Work on the car. I like watching you working." I said, taking my usual seat on the workbench. Jacob smirked, winking at me.

"Can't take your eyes off me, huh?"

"Watch it, kid." I said in a warning voice and he scrunched his face at me before propping open the hood of the car.

I leaned back against the wall, watching as he tossed his t-shirt aside and pulled on overalls over his jeans. As he worked, he chattered on about patrolling and the wolves and how Quil had gone down with a temperature.

"His grandfather called Sam yesterday. It'll be any day now. Sam's been staying outside his house, ready to grab him when he phases."

"I'll bet it's terrifying, the first time."

"Yeah, it is. Confusing, terrifying, your whole world spins and you can hear a bunch of voice in your head that aren't yours. That's why Sam tries to be nearby, so he can sort of… bring you into it gently." Jacob said, rooting noisily through a box of spare parts.

"Would you ever stop phasing?"

"Not while there's danger in the area."

"The Cullens aren't-"

"They're vampires, Bella." His dark eyes shot to mine, all traces of humour gone. "They kill and they drink blood. Sure, they're hunting animals these days, but you're telling me that they're all completely innocent? And besides, it's not just them. I told you, we tracked a different leech coming through the area and we've got no promise from them that they aren't partial to snacking on humans."

I was silent as he got back to work, tense and uncertain. I knew that there was no way that the Cullens and the Quileute pack were ever going to be friends, but this constant tension that I felt with both of them was tiring – and the Cullens didn't even know about the wolves yet. That was going to be a fun conversation.

"Stop thinking so hard, Bells. It'll give you wrinkles." Jacob smirked and I pulled a face at him.

"You're a funny kid."

"Pass me the wire trimmers." I rooted through his toolbox and climbed off the workbench to hand them to him, peering into the engine. I didn't understand engines at all; maybe I'd wander over to Port Angeles and see if there was a course I could take at the community college.

We spent an hour in comfortable quiet, Jacob requesting tools and me passing them until Embry arrived, grinning widely.

"It's happening. Quil's Grandfather called Sam over half an hour ago, I think he's changing."

"We should get over there, see if we can help out. We're his best friends, I think it'll help him if he sees us." Jacob said and looked at me quickly, "Sorry, Bells-"

"Go. I've got stuff to do anyway, go help him out and I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed my forehead and gave me a quick hug before darting out of the door, tossing the overalls over his shoulder as he went.

I stretched idly and looked at the lopsided clock hanging on the wall. It was only just nine thirty, but by the time I had walked back to Forks and gotten over to the Cullen house, it would be around ten fifteen. I locked up the shed for Jacob and started walking.

When I got to the house, Carlisle and Esme were sat in the kitchen – why they had a kitchen, I had no idea, since they couldn't eat anyway – come to think of it, why did they have Egyptian cotton bed sheets? What a waste. As Edward led me into the kitchen, Esme got to her feet and approached me. Without asking permission, she drew me into her arms, cradling me closely and I bowed my head, resting my forehead against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, my sweetheart." She whispered in my ear and I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to cry as I clung to her. After a long moment and I opened them again to see Carlisle watching me, tense and unhappy. I released Esme and moved to stand in front of him.

We looked at each other for a long moment. I felt mixed feelings for him at that moment. On the one hand, he had deceived me in ways that I had never imagined possible from him, had betrayed my trust when he had known how hard it had been for me give it in the first place. On the other, I was utterly convinced of his affection for me and that he truly did want me in his misfit family. And who was I kidding? I wanted to be a misfit too.

I stretched out a hand tentatively and Carlisle took it, gently squeezing my fingers.

"I cannot apologise enough, Bella."

"What happened, happened, Doc." I said quietly, "It wasn't good and clearly we both suck at communication. So, um… I'm not really one to hold a grudge. I mean, I'd like to talk to Rosalie and Emmett too, but I'm kind of hoping that maybe we could just… get past this without any more drama?"

"That sounds ideal, Bella." Carlisle murmured, "I hope you know the truth about our intentions and how genuine they are, in spite of our methods."

"I think I do."

Carlisle smiled and released my hand, sliding his arm around Esme's waist as she moved to stand beside him.

"Edward thought that might you like to spend the evening relaxing." Esme suggested and I nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds good. It's been a weird few days."

"And you prefer normal as a ghost?" Edward murmured, his hand brushing against my lower back as he passed.

The Cullen version of relaxing was to dig out a set of playing cards and start a series of tournaments, ranging from Whist to Go Fish. I lost nearly every round and even though Edward insisted that he wasn't listening to people's thoughts, he shot me a sly wink as he kicked Carlisle's ass.

At three in the morning, I heard car doors slamming and glanced towards the door as Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice came in, all carrying shopping bags.

"Hey kids, have fun?" I teased as Emmett crouched down beside me and tossed one of my cards on the table.

"Of course. And you?"

"I was about to win, until you messed up my game." I joked, knowing full well that I was about to lose again. Alice giggled and then looked at Carlisle.

"There's going to be a storm tonight. We should play."

"Excellent!" Emmett looked excited and I glanced around, hoping someone might explain. Edward obliged.

"If we have a storm, we head up to a clearing in the mountains and play baseball. It's fun."

"Yeah, if you're capable of playing a sport." I mumbled and Carlisle chuckled.

"You can help Esme referee the game. She's convinced that Emmett and Jasper cheat."

"That's because we do." Jasper smirked, his fingers tapping against Alice's hip and everyone smiled, Rosalie rolling her eyes as she leant against the kitchen counter.

"If we set off at around… oh, about seven? The storm will start just after we arrive and we'll get a few hours of playing in." Alice said brightly and Carlisle nodded.

"Good, we can run up from here. Bella, one of us can carry you, if you don't mind?"

"Fine by me."

"I hope you'll shower first," Rosalie said bitingly, "The wet dog smell isn't that appealing to those of us with super senses."

I froze, one hand raised to my hair. I'd forgotten that hanging around with Jacob would have left his scent fresh on me. Carlisle, Esme and Edward hadn't said anything, probably out of politeness, but Rosalie didn't have qualms about these things.

Esme frowned warningly at Rosalie but I bit my lip.

"Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about that." I said, flicking the playing cards between my fingers and avoiding their eyes. They were all quiet as I fiddled, trying to figure out how to say this. I didn't want the pack to think that I was giving away all their secrets, but I couldn't hide this from the Cullens either.

"So… I've been spending some time in La Push." I began haltingly, "And… there are some guys there who can… well, you know how I'm a ghost and you're vampires and that's kind of… different?"

"It had caught our attention, yes." Carlisle smiled faintly. I swallowed hard.

"Well, there are some boys on the reservation who are different too." I said softly, twirling the Ace of Spades around. "Um… I don't know quite how to say this, so I'm just going to go for it."

I lay the card flat and lifted my eyes to Carlisle's.

"There are werewolves on the reservation."

Silence. Then Emmett smiled.

"Cool."

"Not cool." Edward said stonily. I looked at him sharply and saw him staring at me. He leaned forward, scanning my face, "You're alright? You're not hurt?"

"No, of course I'm not hurt." I jerked my face back, frowning, "Why would I be?"

"Bella, we have encountered their kind before." Carlisle said gravely, "They are very powerful and unpredictable."

The image of Emily's scarred face flashed unbidden through my mind and I flinched, slouching in my chair, the need to defend them bubbling away.

"They're not bad." I muttered, "OK, so they turn into giant wolves from time to time, they're not… look, I just spent the weekend insisting that you're not all murderers, OK? So don't go attacking them when I've been defending you."

Edward frowned and looked at Carlisle who shook his head.

"We have signed a treaty, Edward. We must trust that they will keep their side of it."

"They will." I said immediately, "They're good guys, really. Jacob was telling me how they-"

"They can see you?" Esme gasped and Alice groaned.

"That's probably why I can't see you! Those…. Those dogs have been blocking my sight, god only knows what kind of powers they have! Urgh!" She sank dramatically into a chair and I rolled my eyes.

"Please? The name calling is ridiculous. I expect it from Jake, he's sixteen. You're more mature."

"You can't go back there, Bella. It's much too dangerous." Edward insisted, reaching for my hand, but I pulled back, folding my arms over my chest as I stared at him for a long moment.

Slipping out of the chair, I walked slowly away from the family towards the windows, trying to gather my thoughts, shuffling them into order as I had the playing cards. Twisting my hands, I turned to look at them all and found them silent, waiting for me to speak.

"I missed you, OK?" I whispered, my chest aching where my heart should have been beating, "All weekend I kept thinking about how much I missed you. And I tried to talk myself out of it, telling myself that it was a mistake, but then Jacob… without meaning to, he showed me how much I needed to be with you."

Edward's brow twitched as he looked at me and I felt myself grow uncomfortable under his gaze, but I forced myself to hold his stare.

"I need you." I repeated quietly, "But I won't abandon Jacob. He's been in my life a lot longer than you have and he… he doesn't understand everything. He's such a child and he needs looking after for a little while longer, even if he does have the ability to turn into a big hairy beast. So don't ask me to leave him, because I can't and you know that I can't. Please don't put me in that position when I'm trying to figure out how to balance being best friends with a werewolf teenager with overactive hormones and being part of a family of vegetarian vampires."

Wow. That sounded bizarre even to me.

And as if to further my bemusement with the situation, Rosalie laughed under her breath, eying me closely before smirking at Edward.

"What do you know, Edward? Ghost Girl knows what she wants. Good for her." Her words seemed encouraging but her look implied nothing other than the disdain to which I had been accustomed.

It was nice to know that some things just didn't change.

A/N: Update fail. I know, it's been three and a half months. I swear, I haven't forgotten this story! Both La Beta and I have been on teaching placements and then had 5000 word essays to write. Muchos stressful, my darlings.

About You Now – I'm kind of ashamed that I know Sugababes songs, but they're so darn catchy and this song fitted nicely. Bella knows how she feels about the Cullens and Jake now. Sort of.

To keep up with update info, come twitter with me. I'm Kat097 over there, the link is on my profile.

Reviewers can have their Cullen/Werewolf of choice and a playground for the night. Or a playroom, for you kinky little monkeys.

Lots of love

Katie