Author's Note: Who wants to be my 500th reviewer for All You Wanted? You know you want to. ;) Enjoy, please. Oh, by the way, I'm assuming over there in England, Celsius is used. (Of course, we have to be original in America. Eww. Lol.) Anyway, so I think…if my calculations are correct, that 85 degrees Fahrenheit would be 29 Celsius. Anyway, if I'm wrong, just assume it's rather warm lol. Obviously, it comes up in this chapter.

James wandered aimlessly for a while, wondering how long he could be away from the common room before his friends started to look for him…if they planned to. How was he do know if they would take time out of their busy schedules to care?

No, that was wrong. He had to stop being angry with them. It wasn't their fault. It just felt so much better to blame them, to say that they weren't paying attention, that they didn't care. Maybe, lately, it seemed that way, but it wasn't true… It wasn't, right?

James had to admit he was pretty tired, but he didn't really feel like going to bed. Besides, if he ended up being out past curfew, it wasn't as if he'd get in trouble, being Head Boy and all. He'd be fine.

When James turned the corner, he was surprised to see Lily with her friend Alice, leaning against the corridor's window.

"Hello," he said quietly.

Lily pretended he wasn't there. James didn't blame her, but it was the second time he'd tried that day. Was he really that stupid?

"How are you, James?" Alice asked politely, her tone slightly pitying. That bothered James immensely, but he said nothing.

Alice nudged Lily. "Hi," she said rather grudgingly.

Wow. James was sure glad Alice forced her into that. He could tell it was straight from Lily's heart.

"Well, I won't bother you anymore. I'm just walking."

Alice nodded. "See you in class, James," she said. "And so will you, Lily." Lily didn't look like she needed reminding of that.

"Goodnight, Potter," said Lily, hardly showing any emotion. James saw Alice roll her eyes skyward.

James decided that the walk he took from the girls' spot by the window to the end of the hallway was about the most awkward he'd ever taken. He wasn't sure if he was just being paranoid, but he felt their eyes on his back the entire time, just waiting for him to do something stupid.

James found no enjoyment at the thought of more free walking time. The meeting with Lily and Alice had ruined it. Therefore, he made his way back to his room.

When he got into the common room, he felt that strange, sick feeling he'd been having from time to time. He pushed it out of his mind, which wasn't easy to do, forcing himself to believe that it was just the lack of sleep getting to him.

"Hey," said James, announcing his presence when he threw open the door to the dormitory.

Remus glanced up from his book. "Hey, Prongs. Where have you been?" he asked. Then, he went back to his reading, so James didn't think he actually cared.

James walked over to his bed, and climbed under the covers.

"Sleep's finally sounding good to you, eh?" said Sirius teasingly.

"Mhmm," James mumbled into the pillow.

"So, I was thinking," Sirius went on, oblivious to the fact that James was uninterested in talking, or perhaps he just didn't care. James could never tell anymore.

"About?" James asked, knowing he was expected to contribute to the conversation that he didn't even want to be having.

"We should go into Hogsmeade tomorrow night," he said. "Remus and Peter think it's a good idea, since we haven't yet. We've already been here two weeks, and we just have to make the most of our last year."

"I have to patrol with Evans tomorrow," said James, sighing.

"Before," said Sirius, shrugging. "Or after."

"Whatever, fine," said James. At the point, he'd have said anything to be allowed to get some sleep.

Sirius nodded, falling back into his own bed. "You sure you'll be up to the full moon this weekend? Lately, you're falling dead asleep at even seven or eight."

James rolled his eyes. "I appreciate your concern. I'll be fine."

"All right," said Sirius, holding his hands up in mock surrender. James couldn't seem him anyway. "Perhaps you should get to sleep. You're so…irritable."

James felt the need to apologize. He didn't know why, exactly, but he did it anyway. "I don't feel well," he said defensively. "I'm sorry."

Sirius shrugged. "I was just kidding."

Had James gotten so lost in his own world that he couldn't even tell when his friends were kidding around with him? He just automatically assumed that everyone was out to get him, and anything people did or said was to hurt him.

He was done trying to stay awake. At least, while he slept, he didn't have to think about the tribulations he was dealing with.

"I'm so cold," he said suddenly, unsure if he'd even spoken aloud.

"It's eighty-five degreesBe a man," said Sirius. "Kidding, by the way," he added, knowing James might become offended again.

"Right," said James quietly, sinking deeper into the pillows.

When James woke up, the first thing he did was go over his schedule for the day. He listened to his friends talking to the alarm clock, begging it to stop ringing. Unfortunately, it didn't work, and James got up to shut it off. It was pretty much routine.

"I'm showering," said James.

Same thing every morning. It wasn't as if he had to inform them.

"When I come back, you'll all be awake," he said firmly.

Sometimes, they were. Sometimes, they were, in fact, banging on the door for their turns. Other times, he'd have to wake them. James didn't mind, even if he sometimes pretended he did. He liked routine. It was what kept his life from falling apart.

James locked the bathroom door behind him, taking two steady breaths in and out before walking to the sink. The mirror above it was mocking him.

"Shower first. I'll deal with you after," he said, pointing angrily at his reflection.

The moment James had turned the water on, there was knocking at the door. He sighed, feeling the frustration from the night before come back.

"What?" he asked, not caring if he didn't sound happy or pleasant.

The answer didn't come quickly, which made James sure it was Peter. Neither Sirius nor Remus would have been frightened by James' tone.

"Yes?" he asked more patiently.

"Are you going to be a lot longer?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes," said James, turning the water on much hotter. "I'm going to be a lot longer."

James' enjoyment in irritating his friends was ephemeral, though, for when he stepped out of his refreshing shower, his mood quickly changed to one of disgust. What was wrong with him? Why was he treating people this way?

His ill feelings became even worse when he, once again, took a look at himself in the mirror.

James frowned. His friends had obviously heard the water go off. At once, he could hear them talking about who should knock. Had he become unapproachable? Was he really being that nasty?

"I hope you're happy," James said quietly to himself in the mirror. He wrapped his towel more tightly around his waist, as it had started to fall, and leaned against the door. Same thing…every day.

"And here you are, blaming them for the way they're being. They've been walking on eggshells around you because you pushed them away, James," he said, talking to himself. "Good job."

"I hate you," he said bitterly. James wasn't sure whom he was talking to, whether it was his personality as of late or just his body. They were both haunting him anyway, so it wasn't like it mattered.

"James," said Remus, knocking tentatively. "Umm…"

"Yeah," he said. "I'm coming out."

He thought he heard Sirius sigh, relieved. Remus tried to cover it with his, "Thank you."

James opened the bathroom door, shivering involuntarily. Merlin, he was cold.

Sirius rushed into the bathroom first, closing the door in the other boys' faces. Remus, dejected, turned to James. "James…" he said slowly.

James finished dressing himself, and turned around to meet Remus' eyes. He tried to smile reassuringly. "Yeah?"

"Do you…do you really want to go with us tonight to Hogsmeade?" he asked. Peter sat down against the bathroom door, banging his head against it repeatedly, angry with Sirius for getting in before he did.

Anger flashed through him before he could stop to think. "Why? Do you not want me to, Remus?" he asked.

"No, no, no!" Remus quickly amended. "Of course, I do! It's just, you didn't seem very happy last night with going."

James frowned, even angrier with himself than he'd been at Remus. Why was he jumping down his friend's throat for something he knew he mustn't have meant?

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I do want to go. Really," he added.

"Okay," Remus replied, looking down. No one quite looked him in the eyes lately.

"I'm—I'm going to go down for breakfast. Maybe, if you get down there quickly enough, we'll…see each other there. Otherwise, I'll see you in History of Magic," he said, getting up to leave before Remus could get in a word of protest.

Remus bit his lip. "Bye, James," he said after he'd gone.

Okay, so James lied. It wasn't the biggest deal in the world, really. He didn't feel like going to breakfast. In fact, he hadn't gone in a while, which was part of the reason his first-to-shower routine worked out nicely. Even staring at Lily Evans made him uncomfortable in the Great Hall.

James headed to the library, the only place he knew no one would come looking for him in, and walked to a table near the back. He placed his head down, and before he could rest, someone disturbed him.

"Fancy seeing you here, Potter."

James thought the voice belonged to Frank Longbottom, but he was too disoriented and tired to pick his head up to check.

"Hi," he said.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. It wasn't too often James showed up in the library.

"Why the hell does it matter?" James asked, picking up strength from God only knew where to sit up. "Why—why is everyone questioning me? I am doing nothing wrong. I can't sit in the damn library. So what if I'm not hungry?"

Immediately, James regretted what he'd said. It was almost as if he had no control over the words coming out of his mouth. Control. Funny, wasn't that what this was all about? Gaining control?

"I'm sorry, Frank," he said, positive now that he was, indeed, Frank. "I'm just not myself."

Frank seemed more shocked than upset or angry. He'd never heard James yell before. James had to admit that he couldn't remember ever yelling, at least…not more than once in a two-week period. He rarely lost his temper.

"That's okay, James." He smiled. "It happens."

Frank was treating him the way he should be treated. Well, he thanked Merlin for a friend like him. He heard James freak out, and yet, he wasn't acting as though James were a piece of glass or a bomb ready to blow.

"Can you do me a favor?" James asked.

"Sure," said Frank, opening his bag to take out the book he was planning to read.

"Don't tell my friends I was in here," said James. "It's really important."

Frank raised an eyebrow as if to question James, but he nodded. "Sure."

"Thanks so much," said James, getting up from the table. "I'm sorry aga—" He stopped, gripping the end of the table for support, and then shaking the feeling of weakness away. "I'm sorry," he said again, and then got the hell out before Frank could ask what was wrong.

Truthfully, James was surprised he even made it out of the library. He hadn't expected to leave so soon, and he knew there was now a chance he'd run into his friends. James' only hope was that he'd make it to History of Magic without seeing them, and rest. Binns wouldn't care. He probably wouldn't even notice.

James walked quickly when passing the Great Hall. There wasn't much he could see, considering the doors were closed, but he didn't think the marauders were in there, so he hurried on to Binns' class.

He opened the door slowly, checking to see if any crazy (Lily Evans type) student was in there so much earlier than class began, and he was pleased to see that he was alone. He collapsed into his seat, shaking slightly from being so cold. He ran a hand through his hair once before setting his head on the desk.

"James?"

James opened his eyes, raising his head slightly to see Sirius standing before him with his arms crossed. Merlin. He'd actually fallen asleep. He checked his watch, seeing that it was twenty minutes later than when he'd arrived, and the class was full of people.

"Prongs?" said Sirius. "Get enough sleep?"

James nodded. "I'm fine."

"Umm…okay, then can you move? You're kind of in the wrong seat."

"Oh," James said, embarrassed. "Sorry."

James navigated to his own seat only by following Sirius' lead. After all, they sat next to each other. He sat down next to him, propping his head up by his elbows.

"So, umm, you decided to give up your annual present this year?" said Sirius.

At first, James didn't know what he was talking about. He blinked, thinking. "NO! I totally forgot!"

Sirius sighed. "You forgot Lily's birthday. You forgot. James, that's never happened before. You know, I'm worried you're stressing yourself out or something."

Sirius being worried was never a good sign. It took a lot to get him concerned.

"Maybe you should just cancel Quidditch practice today, what with Hogsmeade, patrolling and a—"

"I forgot about that too," James muttered, holding his head up normally in order to rub his temples. "Kill me."

Sirius ignored Remus' plea for them to be quiet. They never paid attention in Binns' class. In fact, Sirius was sure even Lily stopped taking notes after second year.

"I'll have to get her something when we're in Hogsmeade tonight even…if she doesn't accept it," said James, glancing longingly at the love of his life who seemed unaware of his gaze.

"Don't," said Sirius. "I shouldn't have even reminded you. It's a waste of your money because she won't take it. And…you really want to go to Hogsmeade? Remus was talking to me after you left, and maybe—if you're really this exhausted and busy—you shouldn't go."

James stood up. "Maybe you should stop controlling my decisions. You're the one who basically forced it on me last night. Oh, James, we should go. We haven't yet. All that."

"James," said Sirius warningly. He was all for causing a scene, but not one that involved James giving away their secret into Hogsmeade.

"So, if you don't want me to go, fine. I won't."

Sirius laughed nervously. "That's not what I said," he said, trying to pull James back down.

"Don't even touch me," said James, pulling away from him.

He felt so weird, not right. And, even though his head was spinning again, it was more than just physical. He knew he was overreacting. Sirius was only trying to show that he cared about him.

"Don't be dramatic," said Sirius, now glaring.

As expected, every eye in the classroom was now on the two of them. James was shaking from head to foot.

"And you were right," said James. "I didn't want to go."

James wasn't stupid enough to shout out the word Hogsmeade. He picked up his books, and he walked out of the classroom.

Author's Note: Oooh, scary James, yes? Please review.