I love you people. You don't even know how you inspire me. Enjoy this well earned fluff… (Which I wrote listening to a combination of Frank Sinatra, Adele, and 3OH3's "My first kiss"...what a great combo, right?)
There are some things in life that nothing can prepare you for. No book, no movie, no second hand story ever fully illustrates exactly what it feels like to be in that moment.
Standing there; surrounded by the flickering light of a hundred candles, enveloped in the sweet and intoxicating scent of flowers, gazing into the solemn eyes of his first love…it was like nothing Kurt knew. And nothing could have prepared him for the way it made him feel.
His whole body ached. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his cheeks heating, and his knees…he was surprised they were still supporting him. He knew that if he looked at his hands, they would be shaking. But he couldn't look. Couldn't tear his eyes from the boy in front of him.
He was so beautiful it made Kurt's heart hurt. From his stunning, expressive hazel eyes, to his big, tough body, to his surprisingly vulnerable heart and the intensity of his emotions. And now he was standing here; in this romantic room that he'd created, which was like something from one of Kurt's dreams. And he was asking him to spend the night.
There was only one answer Kurt could give.
It felt like the door was locked and Dave halfway to him, before he'd even finished fully saying 'yes'. But that didn't stop him from saying it again. And again. He must have said it 10 times before Dave's lips settled over his; silencing him, making him deaf and blind to anything but the feel of the other boys mouth.
Kissing Dave was hot and sweet and made Kurt feel like he was falling over the edge of a cliff. Dave's big hands cradled his face, his mouth sliding across Kurt's, taking short, breathless kisses. Kurt could already taste his own very cherry lip balm on the other boy's mouth and he couldn't help but to strain closer; whimpering, trying to keep Dave's lips on his. But the other boy kept his pattern of gliding, almost chaste kisses, and it pushed Kurt quickly to the point of begging.
"Please...babe…please"
Kurt's shaky plea impacted Dave like a shot to the heart. His whole body stilled; and he pulled his lips away; tilting Kurt's face up; meeting dazed blue eyes to fathomless hazel. Kurt could feel Dave's heartbeat shaking both of their bodies. For a minute all they could hear was the sound of their breathing; harsh and uneven.
Then; biting his lip; Dave spoke, never taking his eyes from Kurt's.
"I didn't mean to start this way. I have some things I need to say, to do, but Kurt...my God, you are so beautiful. I can't think when you kiss me, I forget everything. And I need this to be right... I've imagined this night in my head a million times..."
As if realizing what he had revealed, Dave's face; already heated, flushed an even deeper shade of red. Catching a quick breath, he spoke again.
" ..I…I've wanted everything to be perfect tonight, because what we have is perfect. And to me, you are perfect. God, even your imperfections are perfect to me. The way you boss everyone you know; no matter their age. The way you won't let me wear turquoise and green in the same outfit. The way you almost dance when you walk, and your 96 hair products, and how you cry every single time someone is eliminated on American Idol."
Tucking Kurt's disheveled hair behind his ear; Dave smoothed his hand across the other boy's cheek, his gaze direct and penetrating.
"I love how strong you are, how determined. How you make me feel like I'm not a burden. How you say that you don't want to go fishing with your dad so you can stay with me, when I know you've always loved the time you spend fishing with your dad. "
Kurt's eyes widened in shock. He didn't think Dave would find out.
"I talked to your dad, Kurt. I know that you've turned down party requests and weekend trips and time with your family, all for me. And if I hadn't talked to Burt, I would never have known, because you try so hard to protect me. You make me brave, because you are brave. Kurt..."
Dave began to walk them back. Back towards the large living room wall, devoid of any pictures or ornaments. Kurt felt his back hit the wall; and looked up to see Dave brace his arms on both sides of his body. Kurt was surrounded; his senses completely engaged in the moment. All he could see was Dave; his strong body only inches from Kurt's. All he could hear was the sound of his boyfriend's breathing, still uneven. The way he smelled; Kurt recognized it and couldn't help but smile at the irony. Dave was wearing Unforgivable, by Sean John. The scent of it; combined with the feel of Dave's body so close, was making Kurt's head swim. Drawing in a rushed breath, he lifted his eyes to Dave's, waiting and wondering what happened now.
Dave appeared as lost in the moment as Kurt; his eyes cataloguing Kurt in the same way that Kurt had just done to him. Dragging his eyes up, he drew in a shaky breath, a small smile chasing across his lips.
"Kurt...I can't be this close and not..not kiss you…not do more than kiss you. God, I am so weak… but there's more I need to say before we go further…because Kurt...we are going so much further..."
Kurt's eyes widened and Dave's half smile; the one that melted Kurt's bones, emerged.
"Kurt…you are my knight in shining armor. You know I don't like those girly...umm…romantic movies and I hate when my sister puts on Disney princess movies, but God, lately I can't stop watching because when I see them- the Princes and the Heros- I see you. I bought these flowers and lit these candles to try to give you some of your dreams because there isn't a dream I have that you haven't made come true…well…that's not exactly true. "
Kurt; overwhelmed by Dave's whispered words; blinked back tears, and, his voice questioning, had to ask.
"What dreams do you have that I haven't fulfilled, David Karofsky?"
Dave smiled; leaning in another inch, until his mouth was a breath away from Kurt's.
"It doesn't really matter, because we are going to fulfill both of them tonight- the first is another dance, the second…."
He trailed off; brushing his lips over Kurt's and walked over the CD player.
Kurt felt like he'd been through the wringer. Dave kept him so off balance that he didn't know where or who he was. His legs felt like jelly and his head was cloudy; as if he'd downed more than one and half of those wine coolers. The nerve endings on his body felt scorched and his body wanted more…more Dave, more kisses, more caresses… so badly it was almost a feeling of pain.
The last element of his "romantic evening" became a reality. He had the flowers, the candle light, the champagne, and Dave had clicked play on the soft music. Kurt recognized the song at once. It was Tony Bennet's version of" The way you look tonight".
Kurt caught his breath. He'd always imagined dancing to this on his wedding night. This wasn't his wedding night, but it was the most important night of his life so far. Blinking back the welling tears, he looked up at Dave; surrounded by candlelight and flowers, and saw him holding out his hand; just as the song began. And he knew that he would never forget this moment, as long as he lived.
He clasped hands with Dave; and smiled up at him. They began to waltz. And the world fell away.
Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.
You're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.
Abandoning the practiced steps of the waltz, the wrapped themselves in each others arms, swaying to the music, Dave resting his chin on top of Kurt's head, one hand in his hair.
With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.
Lovely ... never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it?
'cause I love you ... just the way you look tonight.
The music slowly faded, leaving them close together, wrapped up in each other. Kurt felt like he was waking from the best dream he'd ever had. Dave looked equally affected. The silence stretched between them; charged with a hundred unspoken things.
"Kurt."
Kurt smiled; Dave's husky whisper, right at his ear, sending the familiar chills down his spine.
"Yes?"
"Promise me that no matter what happens, that no matter where life takes us, that you'll never forget tonight. That you'll never forget me"
Kurt voice; when he spoke had the solemn gravity of someone taking a vow.
"I could never forget you. Not if I lived a hundred life times. And I will never forget this night. I'll carry it with me always, until the last day of my life. "
And reaching up, he kissed Dave.
It began as a kiss of comfort, of shared memories. But they'd spent months only kissing; holding back; unsure of how to proceed. And all that waiting, the nights of frustration and denial had taken their toll. With Kurt's hesitant kiss, it all became too much.
One light brush of their lips and suddenly they couldn't go slow, couldn't stop.
Grasping, frantic hands ran up and down each other's bodies; pulling out neatly tucked shirts, sliding over exposed skin and touching everywhere they could reach. Their lips were melded together; mouths locked in a series of desperate, open mouthed kisses.
A few tripping footsteps found them crashed down on the couch; Kurt lying full length across Dave's body. Kicking off his shoes; he reached for Dave's shirt, anxiously tugging and pulling, trying to get it off his body. Dave lifted his torso obligingly, making it easier for Kurt to accomplish his goal.
Kurt groaned in appreciation; pulling his mouth from Dave's, scattering kisses along his collar bone; running his fingers across Dave's chest.
"Kurt...oh my gosh...Kurt, baby...we've got to...we've got to go upstairs…we can't do this here...oh god, that feels so good...no, don't stop…oh my gosh…"
Kurt barely heard Dave's mumbled words; so enraptured was he in the process of discovering every area that made Dave's body tense and jerk upward. There seemed to be a lot of areas and Kurt couldn't stop until he'd found every one.
That is; until Dave wrangled his shirt off and then Kurt's mind; already dazed from the pleasure of lying with Dave; of kissing and touching his body; went numb from the sheer ecstasy of being caressed by Dave.
My god, this couldn't be the first time Dave had done this. His hands; those hands that Kurt found himself day dreaming about; they were touching him and sliding lower and lower on his torso and oh god, oh god, oh god..
"Dammit!'
Kurt found himself unceremoniously rolled beneath Dave's body.
No, no, no...Why had he stopped, what the...
Then Kurt; his eyes almost completely dilated, finally saw it. Candle wax was dripping down from the line of candles that stood on the coffee table behind the couch. Dave must have either seen or felt something and was now protecting Kurt with his body.
Rather than cooling the fire racing through his body, the knowledge that Dave was shielding him with his body, increased Kurt's desperation. Locking one leg around the other boy; he jerked his hips up, grinding them into Dave's.
The effect was immediate.
Dave's mouth slammed back down over his; his teeth nipping lightly at Kurt's lips; his tongue darting out to tease his lips open. Surrendering to the urgency he could feel in the other boy's kisses, he opened his mouth, locking their mouths together in a deep, frantic kiss.
Only after feeling Dave jerk a few times was Kurt able to surface long enough to realize that Dave was letting the wax still fall on him, rather than leave Kurt's arms.
Even now, he was nudging Kurt's face, trying to pull him back under with him. Kurt struggled through the haze of arousal to stop. It was so hard to not give in...
Dave's body jerked again.
Kurt; catching him off guard, shoved out from under the other boy. Shoeless and shirtless, he dashed around behind the couch, blowing out the myriad candles. After a minute; a similarly attired Dave joined him; flipping on the soft overhead light as the last of the candles were extinguished.
Facing each other across the room, chests heaving; faces flushed, hearts racing, Kurt realized that the candle wax had created a cross roads. The cold light of reason had entered into their romantic day dream. They couldn't claim to be swept away by the moment. When; or if, they went forward, it would be because they were both making a conscious choice to do so.
They had two options.
They could sit down; redress, and talk. Then go home to their own quiet beds to reflect on what had happened here tonight. Maybe thanking the inconvenient candles for giving them time to think. For giving them time to really be ready for the next step.
Or they could pick up their shoes and their shirts and walk; hand in hand, up the stair case. They could go into Dave's room and shut the door. And change each others lives forever.
Kurt knew what he wanted to do. Knew what felt right. But he couldn't see Dave's eyes close enough to read what the other boy was thinking.
So he had no choice but to act on what he thought was best. Walking over to the couch; not breaking eye contact with Dave, he leaned over and picked up his shirt…
I know how you all just love a cliff hanger! I think I know how this ends, but your reviews could change my mind. Second base or home run, people?