"C'mon, man, tell me," Jason said, leaning toward me. I shook my head no and closed my eyes. I could still see the whole thing, I could still feel the knife in my hand, I could hear Ponyboy calling for me to help him, the cries getting weaker and then stopping altogether and I thought they'd killed him, like I thought they were gonna kill me that time in the lot. I felt like I lost my mind then, thinking they killed Pony and then they were gonna kill me, or at least beat me within an inch of my life. I wouldn't let it happen, I couldn't let it happen, so I took that knife and buried it in that guy, that soc. I knew he was the one that beat me up before. Then there was all that blood, and the other guys just ran, they ran…
"Johnny?" I opened my eyes and saw Ponyboy standing there, dressed in the same outfit. I was so glad to see him.
"Yeah, hey, man,"
He sat next to me on the couch and stared at the T.V. There wasn't anything worse than this, being bored out of your mind but also being kind of terrified. I glanced over at the staff guy, and he was writing on those papers he had, a half smile on his face. I wondered what that staff guy thought of us, all us juvenile delinquents. Probably not much.
"How was your interview?" Pony asked me, and I shrugged.
"Awful," I said, and he nodded.
"I didn't like that guy, that Mr. Johnson," he said.
"Yeah, me neither,"
"Think Darry and Soda will get to visit you?" I asked him, looking at the little T.V. but I could hardly see it because the sun was shining in on it. All I heard was cars screeching and guys yelling on the T.V.
"Yeah, Darry will figure it out," he said.
So we were quiet for awhile. There wasn't much to say. I saw the handbook in his hands. I thought about all the rules here. I wasn't exactly used to rules. My parents didn't care what I did, usually. They ignored me most of the time, unless my old man was hitting me or something cause he was drunk. But I just came and went when I wanted to, and I skipped school all the time and usually my parents didn't know nothing about it. Now, in this place, I'd have to do what all these people said to do.
More kids were coming in, some of them looked kind of scared, some of them looked bored and tough like Dally. I got up and walked around, wondering if the door was locked. I went and tried it, and I saw the staff guy look at me.
"It's locked, Johnny," he said, laughing. I just looked at him. I wanted to leave. I hated being in this locked place, trapped here. At least at home I wasn't trapped anywhere. I could leave, go where I wanted to. I had thought things were so lousy cause my parents were how they were and we had no money and the socs were always starting trouble and everything and I hated school but I didn't realize how much worse things could get. I wanted to break this door down.
Ponyboy came over to me, looking concerned. He must have seen the look in my eyes, like an animal in a trap.
"C'mon," he said, and kind of lead me away from the door, "it's alright,"
I slumped back down on the couch, feeling restless and bored and out of my mind. I didn't think I'd be able to handle this. I wondered how Dal had handled being locked up. But then, he could deal with a lot more than I could.