Author's Note: Here it is, my loves. Ugh. I'm so embarrassed. I don't know what it is about it…but I truthfully hate this chapter. It doesn't matter what I did to change it…it was just awful. I really despise it. Maybe it's just me being my toughest critic; maybe it's actually not as bad as I've made it out to be. I'm okay with the beginning and the end…there's just something in the middle…and okay, whatever. I'm sure it's not that bad lol. Just ignore this author's note entirely, and please review. You can tell I need it badly today.

Remus attempted to process what he had heard in the bathroom. There was no way he could avoid the truth anymore, but admitting that James was in so over his head was hard for him. James was always on top of everything, wasn't he? If James didn't know what to do, Remus wouldn't.

"Thinking about myself again," said Remus.

Remus had a habit of doing just that. When someone else was in trouble, he only thought about the impact it would have on himself, and he was trying to work on that.

He wondered if telling the others was a good idea. Maybe telling a teacher or Madame Pomfrey? But…his friend would never forgive him if he did, and Sirius and James were already fighting. If he got involved in the fight as well, it was likely, with James' sudden sensitivity to any help, that the marauders would lose James' friendship completely. They would have absolutely no contact with him, and they would not be able to help him.

Remus decided that he would only tell someone higher in power if the matter became unmanageable.

Still, no matter how hard he tried, he could not block out the sounds of James forcing himself to throw up. He couldn't stop hearing those words…what had he been talking about? He had said 'no' many times. Remus also heard him say he was a screw-up. Well, that was something James said many times; it wasn't exactly new, though hearing it again wasn't exactly easy.

He said more words that didn't really make any sense together, and then Remus distinctly heard "Forgive me, please."

For doing this to himself? Probably. Maybe he wanted Sirius to forgive him. It would make sense. He'd been complaining about Sirius since before the school year even began.

"He just doesn't understand me, Remus. God. Sometimes, I really hate him."

"You don't hate him," said Remus, sighing.

And Sirius wasn't much better. He was constantly criticizing every little thing James did.

Remus finally made it to the common room. He sat down on the couch, too exhausted to try to make it up the stairs.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't everything be absolutely perfect for like…a day?

The full moon was coming soon enough. Remus did not have the time or the energy to help James with his own issues.

"Hey, Remus." Remus recognized the voice as Lily's, and he turned around with a weary smile.

"Hey, Lily."

Lily sat herself down next to him. "Do you know where Sirius is?" she asked.

"I left early from dinner. He's either still there or upstairs. I kind of got held up on my way here."

"Oh," said Lily, sighing. "Gabriella and I aren't speaking."

Remus tried not to roll his eyes. "What else is new?"

Lily did not take this offensively. "Everything I do bothers her, right? She says I'm using Gavin for his money. Please, like I would do that."

"Mhmm," murmured Remus, distracted. He was not in the mood to deal with any more drama.

"Sirius, you hardly eat anything when you're home," said James.

"Not my fault," said Sirius, looking uncomfortable.

James and Remus knew that Sirius' parents practically starved him.

James frowned. "Here, have the rest," said James, handing him the dinner his mother had given him. "I'm not that hungry anyway, and my mum will kill me if it doesn't get eaten."

Had it been happening during the summer as well? There had been so many signs, but they had all just ignored them.

"Remus?"

"Huh?"

"I asked how your mum's been doing," said Lily. "Is she still with that guy…Fred?"

"Frank," said Remus. "Yeah, she's still with him…unfortunately."

Lily laughed. "Come on; he's not that bad."

"Sure," said Remus, laughing with her.

Before either one of them could say another word, James came running into the common room, out of breath.

"Help," he said.

Lily and Remus exchanged looks. "What happened?"

"Tell them I'm out playing quidditch or something," said James, running up the stairs to his dormitory.

"Who?" Remus shouted, but James had already shut the door.

After James had gone up, two girls rushed into the common room. One was Ellen, a fifth year that had been following James around since her very first, and the other was Jenna, her twin that had no interest in James; she just followed Ellen everywhere.

"Where's James?" said Ellen. Jenna took a moment to catch her breath.

"I—"

"Flying," said Lily, smirking. "He's outside flying."

"But we just…we just saw him," said Jenna, confused.

Lily shrugged. "That's where he is."

"Oh, okay," said Jenna. "He must have turned right after we stopped to pick up your shoe."

"Pick up your shoe?" Remus asked, confused. "Where was it?"

"Well, I threw it at him," said Ellen, looking at Remus impatiently, as if he ought to have known.

"I hoped that, considering how far away he was, it would have hit him so hard he'd have knocked out. Then, he would have stopped running."

Lily put her head in her hands, unable to control her laugher. "Wow," she said.

"He's such a bad runner, anyway," said Jenna. "He just…stops every two seconds. For such a strong guy, he can seem pretty weak."

"Yeah," said Remus. James had weakened his body tremendously.

"So, we're going to go find him," said Ellen.

"Bye," said Jenna.

Remus, unlike Lily, had enough self-control to hold in his amusement until the girls left.

"Oh, my goodness," said Lily. "What is wrong with them?"

Remus shrugged. "Who throws a shoe to knock someone out?"

"Didn't I tell you?" asked Lily, pretending to look hurt. "That's how I got Gavin!"

Remus and Lily laughed even harder. "They're unbelievable," said Remus.

"Psst!"

Remus laughed. "Come on down, James."

"Thank God," said James, getting down from the staircase. "I thought they'd never leave.

James sat down on the end of the couch, next to Remus, carefully avoiding Lily.

It was quite an uncomfortable ordeal. After what Remus had heard, he did not want to say anything to James—even looking at him was difficult. Lily and James were not on such good terms, so the two of them almost never talked, and Remus did not want to strike up a conversation with Lily because he was sure she would be bothered by James listening to any 'private' conversation between the two of them.

They sat in an awkward silence for seven minutes, by Remus' watch, before one of them was brave enough to say something.

"We have to patrol tonight," said Lily, looking anywhere but at James.

"I know. What, did you think I'd skip out on you?"

Lily flinched at his harsh tone. "No," she said softly. "Just reminding you."

"Whatever," said James.

Remus felt even worse in between them now that they had spoken. He would have preferred the silence. Cautiously, he glanced at James, watching his hands twisting in his lap. It seemed he could not keep still.

For some reason, it bothered Remus. He wanted to force him to just sit still and talk with him, the way he used to…or at least bother Lily. Snapping at Lily was not the way to bother her. James was supposed to beg her to dump Gavin, tell him what a good choice he would make as a boyfriend, try to kiss her, kick her chair in Potions…something.

He had become the most defensive person Remus had ever spoken with, and it seemed that everything one said to him would be taken as an accusation of some sort.

"Why didn't Gavin come back with you?" asked Remus.

"Oh," said Lily. "Well, after Gabby and I got in the fight, I kind of just left dinner, and he—well, you know how he is—decided to talk to her about it."

"Oh, boy," said Remus.

"He probably won't be back for quite some time," said Lily.

"Really don't want to be here when Sirius returns," said James, "so I'm going upstairs."

"James—"

"Continue your little talk about Gavin. Oh, and if you see him, Evans, please let him know I've been kicked off the team."

Without another word, James went back up the stairs, which was probably a good idea, considering the twins would soon figure out he was not outside.

"He's off the team?" said Lily.

"Yep," said Remus, having already forgotten about that.

"He's…he's very hostile and defensive," said Lily.

"Really? Haven't noticed."

Lily sighed. "Well, apparently, so are you."

Lily got up to leave, but Remus grabbed her wrist. "Wait," said Remus, "I need your advice."

"I'm listening," said Lily, sitting back down on the couch.

The students that had been at dinner were started to file in, and Remus wanted to get as much as he could out before Sirius and Peter came.

Remus decided not to mention what he had heard going on in the bathroom. "I just…I know nothing about—okay, I'm not…"

"Remus," said Lily, "take a minute to get your words together."

Remus sighed, leaning closer so that he wouldn't be heard. "Do you know anything about eating disorders?"

"Oh, no," said Lily. "Do you guys seriously think he has one? I mean, have you just asked him about it."

Remus laughed humorlessly. "Oh, yes. We've asked him."

"And he's said no," said Lily. "So…why don't—"

"I have my reasons for believing it's true," said Remus. "I don't want to spread it, so just trust me. Anyway, so do you?"

"Well," said Lily, "enough to write a report, but not enough to save a life."

"Can you come to the library with me tomorrow?"

"Oh…come on, Remus."

"Please?"

"I doubt… Why don't you just ask Madame Pomfrey about it, if you're so worried?"

"I can't!" said Remus. "She'll know why I'm asking."

Lily sighed. "If you were truly James' friend, it wouldn't matter to you that other people were getting involved."

"You told Sirius to back off and do what he wants! Now, you're telling me to—"

"No," said Lily, rubbing her temples. "Have you actually seen something suspicious?"

"No," said Remus immediately. "I mean, not really. I…"

Remus had no idea what to do. Lying to Lily was so difficult, especially when he knew she was seeing right through him. As hard as it was to lie, though, it was even harder to tell the truth. Admitting to Lily that he had heard James making himself sick was enough to make Remus, himself, sick.

Besides, Remus knew that James already felt betrayed by Sirius' talk with Lily. If Remus said anymore about it, he knew James would kill them.

"No," said Remus.

Oddly enough, Lily looked sort of disappointed. Perhaps she had seen he was lying, and she was disappointed that he hadn't told her the truth. However, maybe she was just saddened by the fact that James wasn't sick.

That was ridiculous. Lily wasn't crazy about James, but she didn't hate anyone that much.

As forcefully as a stampede of animals, Sirius, Peter, Gabriella, Alice, Frank, and Gavin came into the room. They were all talking over each other, arguing about something, and when they got to Lily and Remus, all was silent.

"I need to talk to you," said Gavin.

Remus could tell by the sound of his voice that he was angry about something.

Gabriella moved her way out of the crowd. "I'm going upstairs," she said, giving Lily an apologetic look.

"Uh, no, you're not," said Lily. She had no idea what was going on, but it was obvious that Gabriella was behind it.

"Yes, I am," said Gabriella, glancing worriedly at Gavin before going upstairs.

"Gabriella told me something very interesting," said Gavin. On the outside he was angry, but his blue eyes were shining with pain.

"O—oh?"

Lily was no longer oblivious. She had a very good feeling of what her boyfriend was talking about.

"Lily?" Remus said, confused.

"We shouldn't talk about this here," said Lily.

"Oh, we will talk about this here," said Alice, joining the conversation.

"Do you have any idea what's going on, Lily?" Remus asked, looking intimidated by the crowd that had formed around them.

Lily ignored him. "It was a little mistake, baby."

Frank suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I'm going upstairs too," he said.

Lily smiled sadly at his back; she knew he didn't want to be one to question her.

"I'll go with you," said Peter. He knew he had no reason to stay.

Lily was left with Gavin, Alice, and Sirius to deal with.

"A mistake," said Gavin. "I can understand that, but you hid it from me for…Merlin, how long?"

Lily cleared her throat, looking down, not wanting to see any of their faces any longer. "I don't know…"

"When did this happen, Lily?" asked Sirius.

Lily could not bring herself to look at him. Sirius had always been so accepting of everything she had done, and whenever she had done something wrong, which was only once in a blue moon, he always said, 'I've done far worse. I forgive you.'

This, however, was different. She had kept this a secret for so long, and she knew he wasn't just angry with her; he'd be angry with James as well.

"May," she said softly.

"May?!" said Alice. "It's…it's almost Halloween, Lily."

"Gavin," said Lily, her eyes filled with tears, "can we please talk about this outside?"

"It's not like it matters," he said. "Gabriella yelled it out to practically everyone at dinner."

Lily took a deep breath. "I said I was sorry."

"You're sorry because I found out. You were never going to tell me, were you?"

"I was!" exclaimed Lily. Her face was red, knowing that Gabriella, her 'best friend' had told her secret to the entire Great Hall. Well, everyone that was there, anyway.

"Really? When?" asked Gavin skeptically.

"When were you going to tell me?" asked Sirius.

"Or me?" said Alice.

"The time…"

"…wasn't right," they all said.

"Heard that before," said Alice. She had finally had enough, and without another word, she stormed up the stairs to her room.

"You need to go take this up with James," said Lily, pointing to Sirius. "You're only mad at me because he didn't tell you."

"Oh, yeah," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "You don't get me at all, do you?"

"Don't be histrionic," said Lily.

"Whatever," said Sirius. He, too, went upstairs.

Remus didn't like this. It seemed like he was going to have to do a lot of cleaning up, and he didn't even know what happened yet.

Lily still wanted to go outside to discuss what certainly needed to be talked out, but Gavin wouldn't go. People were staring, and Lily didn't like it.

"I've supported everything you've ever wanted to do, haven't I?" asked Gavin.

"Yes," said Lily, rubbing her eyes.

"I'm aware of all those boys who want to be with you, and I have never once been a crazy jealous boyfriend over it, dictating who you can and cannot spend time with. I've always allowed you to spend time with other people without me, haven't I?"

"Yes," said Lily.

"Have I ever been possessive?" he asked.

"No."

"And I supported your decision—even admired you for it—to wait until marriage to have sex. Didn't I?"

"I didn't need to hear that," muttered Remus. He still didn't go upstairs, knowing that he'd rather listen to their argument than listen to James and Sirius fight upstairs.

"Yes, you did," said Lily.

Neither one of them seemed to hear Remus' comment.

"How could you do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?"

"I can't explain myself. I made a huge mistake. I hid it because I knew it was a dumb decision. I would never ever do it again," said Lily, standing up from the couch.

Gavin backed away. Lily could hardly tell anymore what he was feeling. Clearly, it wasn't happiness.

His final word was so soft that it was almost a whisper. Lily and Remus might have been the only ones to have heard it, but that only seemed to make it worse.

"Slut."

Then, he was done. Lily watched him walk out of the common room, going only God knew where, and Lily reluctantly turned around to face Remus.

"Lily…" he said softly.

"Well, if you haven't gathered this yet…I slept with James."

Author's Note: Eh, reading it over, I really didn't hate it that much. Lol. I don't know…I'm not the biggest fan of my own work. Anyway, please review, and do me a favor? Read Just Passing Through because the next chapter will be out very soon, and that story is oh-so much fun to write, and it does (even if it doesn't seem like it so early in the story) help you with this one. Buh-bye now.