Finally another update...school can suck it, is what I say. Apologies for the last update...apparently some tears were shed. But we're moving past angst with the conclusion of this chapter, and we should have some happy, smutty goodness in the conclusion. Thanks for the support, everyone!
It wasn't long before both men reached climax, and, after Hawke decided that Anders would still be there even if he released him from his embrace, they decided it was best to head back before Bethany or Isabela came looking for them. Upon returning, they found the pirate sleeping in what had to be the most uncomfortable position in the world – her head and neck jammed against a rock at a painful angle that would mean that she would likely need Anders' attention in the morning. The youngest Hawke was keeping watch by a low-burning fire. She smiled brightly when she saw the men enter their make-shift camp, and she rushed over to her brother to hug him tightly.
"I was getting worried about you two," she sighed with relief as she let go of the warrior and moved on to Anders.
"There's never a reason to worry about me, Beth; there's nothing I can't handle." He used his thumb to gesture at his lover. "This one on the other hand…"
Anders just rolled his eyes and, with the faintest of smiles, retreated over near Isabela to attempt to sleep. The past few nights in the Roads had been cruel to him in a number of ways, one of which being the lack of sleep. But he felt calm enough, at least for the moment, and hoped that tonight he would finally get some rest. The warrior had offered to take his watch as well to allow him more time, and, for once, the mage couldn't resist.
"Why don't you get some sleep, Bethany? I can take it from here."
"Always the hero," she said with a smile. She reclaimed her place in front of the fire and patted the ground next to her, inviting her brother to join. "We've been down here for days, the first time we've seen each other in years, and I'm still waiting for you to just talk to me."
Hawke sat down next to his sister and shifted around until he got comfortable. There is nothing comfortable about heavy plate armor and an ancient road under your arse. He gently draped an arm over the mage's shoulders and pulled her close to him. "I don't know what you're talking about. We've talked while walking and between battling darkspawn. And here we are right now, enjoying the beautiful sights and sounds of this place. I don't think I've ever heard Isabela snore this loud."
"Archie, you know what I mean. I haven't seen you in years, and you're talking to me as though we have brunch once a week."
"Don't be silly; I'd never have brunch with anyone."
She pushed his arm away and gave him a stern look, but that was quickly washed away as she saw the smirk on her brother's face, illuminated by the fading fire light. She glanced over at Anders who had found a place on the ground to rest. He had taken off his robe and balled it up to make a pillow, and his steady breathing suggested that he'd fallen asleep some time ago. "How long has this been going on?"
"Oh, Anders has been crazy long before we met him, I'd speculate. But you know that."
"If you're not going to be serious with me for once in your life, I'll just be off to bed then. Really, Archer, I'd think you'd have more to say to me after all these years." She started to get up, but he pulled her right back down.
"About three years after you were taken to the Circle. We had a fight, and we were blurting out things and finally both realized that we had had feelings for each other for a long time. He's been living with me ever since."
"Are you not worried about the repercussions that could occur from you being with him?"
The warrior took a moment to stare at the sleeping mage and turned back to his sister with a smile. "Not for a moment."
She smiled back at him and leaned over to rest her head on the cold metal covering his shoulder. "I never imagined to come back and see you settled down with someone. And I have to admit, I certainly never would have expected it to be with another man. I can't imagine how Mother reacted, and I'm surprised that she didn't write to me about it."
"She was less than thrilled at first," the warrior admitted with a chuckle. "With Carver gone and you in the Circle, she had it in mind that I was the only hope for continuing our family line. And clearly I'm going to have a bit of an issue doing that with Anders. Sure, we have the furry kids, but apparently that's not the same. Luckily, he can be charming when he needs to be, and she quickly came to see how much I loved him, so she couldn't help but love him as well. She was happy that I was happy for once, and I'm glad I at least got that before she-" He trailed off, the pain of the way he had lost his mother clouding his thoughts. When he wrote his sister to tell her of their mother's passing, he failed to mention the gruesome details, and it was something he always planned to keep from her. But those memories still haunted him, and he struggled to deal with them. "Anders really is great though," he continued. "I took him in, gave him a bath, and fattened him up a bit. He's perfect once you get past the angst and the nasty old robe and the whole Justice thing."
Bethany sighed and used a small spell to keep the fire before them lit. "And here I thought you were about to be serious for a moment. One of these days, you're not going to have something funny or sarcastic to hide behind, and you'll have to deal with things just like everyone else does. I just worry about it all becoming too much for you."
"You didn't follow me and Anders, did you?" he asked with a furrowed brow. His stomach churned at the thought of his baby sister discovering him and Anders in the state they'd just recently been in. She merely shook her head, not knowing what to say. A bit relieved, Hawke leaned back on his hands, legs outstretched towards the fire. "I appreciate the concern, Beth, but I'm fine. And I'm plenty serious when all the right people are looking."
"What about when they're not, Archie? Isn't there ever a time that you just stop with the jokes or sarcastic remarks? It's been so long that I can hardly remember."
"I don't know how else to do it."
"Do what?"
"Everything," he said quietly. "If I can lighten the situation, then I can get through it. It's what I've always done, and it's all I know how to do. I can't remember a time before running away, hiding. Keeping our life a secret, taking care of everyone when Father died – if I could just make everyone laugh, I could hide how bad I was at it all. I might be a good fighter and a decent leader, but I don't know how to handle any of this. The things that are expected of me, that have been expected of me since I was so young, are far too much. I'm asked to help people, defend them, fight for them, but I was never even able to keep my family safe. Carver died because I didn't get to the ogre before him. Mother died because I was too slow in saving her. And I wasn't even there to stop them when they took you from us. So if I'm going to pretend like everything is alright and let people think that I can still be their Champion, I have to hide behind the sarcasm and a massive lie of an ego."
"Don't you dare blame their deaths on yourself. And you know I went willingly. I'm happy there, and you need to accept that." She turned her gaze from the fire so she could better see her brother. Physically, he hadn't changed much. His hair was a little longer than she'd last remembered it, and the sun had caused a bit of fading in his tattoo. But the strong, goofy man that she had always loved and respected more than anyone in this world had started to doubt himself, and she barely knew how to process that. "Please just tell me you'll be alright. How will the world rely on you if you're not?"
"I'll be fine, Bethany. I can fake my way through most things, and I've got Anders to get me through the rest. Don't tell him I told you this, but I think I'm only still sane because of him. I just wouldn't want him to start getting an ego." He looked over at his sleeping lover and couldn't help but smile when he saw that the blonde had a mouth full of feathers, still attached to the pauldrons of his robe.
"Don't forget that you have me too, Big Brother."
Hawke pulled his sister into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Beth. Now tell me everything about the Circle. I hear that everyone is kissing everyone there. No one better be kissing you though. Do they know who your brother is?"