Chapter 4 – Depressing

/Len/

…I woke up. Even there was a faint light emanating from the side table; I was blinded by it. I glanced at the clock, and it was 2 o'clock am. What a time to wake up. I scanned the place, only to see I was back home; at my own room.

With my own strength, I pulled my whole body to sit up; with force. I can still feel a certain amount of pain, yet I can't locate where it was though. Shuffling the bed covers away to my left, I tried to stand up and although I know I still can't, I did.

"L-Len!" I heard Kaito as the door suddenly creaked open. I wasn't looking at him either.

"Wh—..are you insane? Just because you're back here at home doesn't mean you're okay," he told me, slightly pushing me with the use of his hands that were placed on both of my shoulders. I persisted, but as I stood up, I fell on my knees.

"See? Y'still can't… Go back to bed and rest… Tell me everything you want and I'll get it for you." He said. I was very reassured but I was just shy. He smiled.

"K-Kaito-nii," I spoke, feeling that jagged voice when you don't talk for a while. That rough, serrated feeling when you talk, thinking you have a sore throat.

"How long was I unconscious?" I asked him, but never looked up. My body begins to shiver, for the windows were just faintly uncluttered and the cold winds came in brushing faintly against the curtains.

I can see him sit back a little, a matter of inches away from my face. His grip tightened on the loose shirt I was wearing, and I stared in shock as tears hastily plunged on the soft, warm bed sheets. I bit my lip.

I know I was on the wrong timing to ask him like that; and I never knew that my question was that awkward. It's just, you know? What I feel to ask…

"Two weeks…" he answered.

"I see..."

A very callow silence followed. Then his grip tightened even more and raised me like I'm a small child that was scolded. I was terrified.

"Damn it Len! Damn it! Two weeks? And all you've got to reply was "Oh I see"? Huh! Is that all you're going to say! Two weeks, Len! Two, depressing weeks! The care I gave to you! The, the time I've spent? The effort I did just to –" He yelled, as two lines of tears were released from his dark-blue eyes that conveys that I'm well-cared and loved, with him treasuring me more than a priced possession.

I breathed in before I could cry. I can feel that my expression was sad. Although I know it was a tough night, I can't still get over by what he said. In a matter of three seconds by count, he let go off me slowly.

Then, with him saying a quick "I'm sorry", bowing his head, he left the room quickly.

I just don't know what I'd feel at the moment.

It's like triple the weight of the hurt. It's not a physical thing, although the 'holding-me-up-using-my-shirt-sleeves' were quite painful to my shoulders, it's still an emotional arrest.

I wiped my tears away, and seeing that it's quarter to three already, I went back to bed, sinking in my cerulean comforter and resting my head on the fluffy pillow. Although this seems comforting, it's not. Not what I feel. That hot feeling on my face remained as I thought about what Kaito had just told me earlier. I was feeling guilty. But of what reason? I just don't know. That's what I'm thinking about now.

As time passed, my eyes felt heavy again and closed them, yet my thoughts are still lingering…

/Miku/

I should talk to Kaito more often. Especially that I was confused on what's going on. I was totally bothered by certain events; and such, plus the fact that Mikuo was starting to act weird whenever I talk with him regarding Len's situation.

"Oh will you please stop it? Please, please. I am getting tired of you annoying me.." Annoying me. The sudden phrase rang onto my ears. How could he say such thing to me? I was just shocked.

I noticed the scratches again; at his neck, at the back. I really couldn't help it but as soon as I pulled on the little stuffed toy and hugged it, I asked him the most regretful question I'd ever asked.

"Are you up to something, onii-sama? I know that even if you deny it, you're hiding something from me. Please? You can trust me, and I swear I'd never tell anyone. We're brothers and sisters for heaven's sake!" I shouted at him.

By that action, he seems like kind of shocked and insulted at the same time. He slowly looked at me, with furious eyes.

"A-ah sorry! I didn't mean it! I was just curious and worried, that's all—nnhh! " I suddenly felt a grab at my shirt collar.

"Nii—nii-sama…I didn't—I swear—!"

"Look you;" he started, as I stared into his eyes, scared. I happened to see those eyes caring, sweet, and cheerful. But now, all I could see is filled of inner hate and mine was burning fear.

This wasn't my Mikuo-nii.

"Why do you keep on interfering? Hm? As if you know what really happened. Too bad you're such an ignorant, little sister. I hate you, and if I have certain plans that will go wrong, I'd put all the blame onto you!" he said. I felt tears ran down on my cheek. "Get out of my life- will 'ya? Don't tell me how to live!" he pushed me hard; I slammed onto the wall.

"H-how could y-you reject me …"

"I hate you." he stormed the room, shutting the doors that made the frames rattle.

Those words pierced my very being. I feel my whole body trembling. What have I done wrong? My mind kept on repeating those statements.

Without another word, he left the living room and went outside. I gagged because I was crying so hard I could barely see. I threw my hands at my face to cover them. The heat and moist – they were all over me.

How could this be? I mean, why! I loved my brother so much. He was always there for me. Yet why – a lot had changed? I was confused…

/Kaito/

…My head was spinning. Ah, it's only because of the unbelievable cold. I turned the air conditioner to fan, and sat on the couch. I lost my interest watching the television because there are tons of useless ads. I turned it off, and throwing away the remote control. I threw it so hard that it ended up flying across the room, and it landed on the porcelains. Oh Gawd. I lazily stood up, did the walking distance from the couch, nearing the stairs where those porcelains are beside. It was then someone opened the door.

"Kaito-nii," a girl spoke. Without even looking behind, I think I knew who it was by the pitch of the voice – Rin. "Oh, you broke the…"

"Oh, hey there," I said; picking up the remote and placing it on top of the television. "Nevermind this, haha,"

Without knowing and all of sudden, she walked like not knowing where to go, and hugged me.

"Mm, Rin? Are you—are you okay? Tell me if you have proble—" I haven't finished my statement. She broke into tears.

"Onii-sama! I can't bear! I can't handle the situation! I was the one who was having a hard time! Why? Why would every situations like this tends to happen? All the time? And why Len? Of all people! My brother… Why would someone do that to him? He has no heart! I—!"

"Rin," I softly spoke. Even though it breaks my heart for hearing her say this, I have no control over the situation. I couldn't comfort her through words.

"It wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself. Well, the suspect is an exception," I said, trying to find my words carefully, not wanting to hurt her. I can see that she really cared for her younger brother, but she's just like me; only I hid my feelings.

It wasn't just the unexpected. It IS the expected. For the whole 'family' to gather in one, same home, dealing with everyday lives and getting on the hang of it, they are all the same. Same in every drastic situation.

"Let's be strong for him, that's all what we can do for the moment. If he sees you crying, wouldn't he be sad too? It's your time to protect him, Rin-chan.." I said as I hugged her back, making her feel secured.

We broke the hug, and with her wiping away a tear, whispered "thank you onii-sama," smiling, and then left. She walked slowly, but reaching the stairs she speeded her steps.

I felt a little sad for Rin. She was such a nice girl, well – a family member. Of course, maybe she jerks and gets on crack every time, but she sure knows how to act mature.

"Ne, I came home to sleep… I was at the station earlier to submit my new song—"

"Mh, I understand. Go upstairs and rest. I'm sure Meiko will call you all before dinner." I said, patting her back and leading her upstairs.

I sighed, turning back to the broken porcelain I broke earlier, cleaned it up, and laid down on the couch. I stared blankly at the ceiling, not aware of my thoughts. It was far too clouded. I looked at the wall clock, realizing it's four in the afternoon, I have to get to the music station to pass all my written songs.

I left a note at Len's front door. I do hope if he's awake, he would read it.

I guess, I have to put all away my worries as of the moment…

/Len/

…Cold. Again. If it wasn't because of the room's temperature, it could have been me. Or the air-conditioning. Whatever that was, I hate the temperature now.

I helped myself to sit up, focusing my still blurry sight on the covers I'm in, balancing myself with the help of my left hand. I let the back of my hand touch my forehead, and without a doubt, the fever isn't going away.

Seeing that the room was getting dark, I tried to stand on my feet and turn the light switch on. But my legs gave in and I fell on my own weight. Damn it.

While I was struggling to stand, the door creaked open.

"Len, are you—"

"Yeah I'm okay I just—well, but as you—" I was interrupted by a fit of coughing. I hate what I'm feeling right now.

"Here, let me," It was Miku. I felt a little embarrassed but I really can't get up so – there's no way around it.

"Nghh—tha—thanks, Miku-nee.." I said, wincing a bit, because I can still feel the pain.

She looks over to my plain figure, probably wanting to know if I'm okay or what.

"Wow," she said, "You're up? You okay? Are you feeling well now? Or do you need something, I can—"

I raised a finger and placed it on her lips. I shook my head; and walking back to my bed, trying to rest more. I still can't bear standing that long. My legs are giving up on me.

I can hear her saying things about how much sleep I do needed, to call her when I needed something, blah, blah, I dunno. I think I'm feeling worse.

I feel worse.

A.N.

Sorry this took me a long time to update I HAVE SCHOOL; Lots of works and - life.

OK SO; I haven't got any ideas to get the story going yet D:

But; I promise to end it not the way it should be! :DD