Disclaimer: Tolkien owns all, knows all, sees all. In fact, he's probably rolling over in his grave because of this stuff.
ATTENTION: The following and previous chapters that make fun of slash are NOT meant to be offensive to *ahem* gay people or anything like that. Sorry if I come across as rude and prude, but this is just to cast some humour on the usually very stressful and angsty slash fics that have come to pollute our beloved Lord of the Rings genre. I really wonder what Tolkien would think of all these fanfics. *sighs sadly* Moving on...
Author's Note: Thanks guys, you rock! I really appreciate your reviews and so does Faramir.
Faramir: Amen to that! I feel another bout of giggles coming on, so I'll just make this quick – Pairings are accepted, but reviews are better or an equal balance of the two. And thanks for worrying about my *gulp* condition, I feel loved! ~ Faramir signing out
Me: Well, you heard him! The key factor here is reviews as I basically did all the main ones. I will try to fit in your pairings as best as I can but do forgive me if I don't get them all. Moving on, here is a list of people this chapter is dedicated to Warriormaid and sassyfriend since it's their pairings. Thanks for the reviews all! So now without further ado, here is the said chapter...
Chapter Six:
~ SarumanXGandalf ~ {Not sure if I did this before but anyhow...}
Saruman: PATHETIC HOBBIT-LOVING WIZARD! How dare you freaks even think to suggest such an abomination?
Gandalf: *sighs* I am not gay for Hobbits, nor for you Saruman. Do not get so excited!
Saruman: *pukes* I am NOT excited, fool!
Gandalf: *strokes beard thoughtfully* Well if you weren't gay then why were you going on about one master and lord and all that stuff, huh?
Saruman: *eyes widen in shock and horror at realisation* Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! *throws self off tower onto wheel spike and dies*
Gandalf: *winces* Oops! Didn't mean to go that far. Then again...
~ BoromirXFrodo ~
Frodo: *yanks out Sting* Is that why you were stalking me, freak?
Boromir: Hells, no! I wanted the ring stupid!
Frodo: Why, freak? Because you thought it looked like a wedding ring and wanted to propose?
Boromir: *faints in shock and horror*
Frodo: *snickers* Good!
~ PippinXFrodo ~
Frodo: *stares up beseechingly at the heavens* Why must the Valar punish me so? What wrong have I done?
Pippin: *muttering from throw-up bucket* These fan-girls are scary!
Frodo: *shivers in fear and nods in agreement*
~ MerryXPippin ~
Merry: DIDN'T WE ALREADY SEE THIS ONE ALREADY?
Pippin: Why are these sick fan-girls so crazed about gay hobbits?
Merry: I know, right? I'm not against gays or anything but gay hobbits? That's just sad!
Pippin: *sighs sadly and shakes head* What is the world coming to these days?
~ PippinXGandalf ~
Faramir: *giggling insanely* Hey, Gandalf?
Gandalf: *suddenly suspicious* Yes?
Faramir: Is that why you went for a ride with Pippin?
Gandalf: *roars and punches Faramir in the face* FOOL of a Took!
Pippin: Hey!
~ FaramirXBoromir ~
Boromir: And I thought there was a fate worse than death!
Faramir: But how can you say that when you are dead already?
Boromir: *shudders* I don't know! It's these creepy fan-girl stalkers who bring me back to life with the dark arts of necromancy to screw my younger brother. Fanfiction should not be legal!
Faramir: *nods furiously* Never has ever a truer word been said!
Denethor: *facepalms*
~ BoromirXDenethor ~
Boromir: Hey dad?
Denethor: *starts dreading question* Um, yeah?
Boromir: Can you kill me before you try to burn Faramir? Please?
Denethor: But you're already dead!
Boromir: *points to fanfiction* Maybe if I get burned then they can't keep resurrecting me for this torture.
Denethor: *stares at computer in terror* Holy cow! *gags to death*
Boromir: *pouts* Great! Now how can I get killed already? Wait! That's it!
Crazy Fan-girl Typing on Computer: Bwahahahaha! Soon I shall have one hundred and fifty reviews on my story and this fanfiction shalt be known as the best slash ever!
Boromir: *taps girl on shoulder*
Fan-girl: *turns around*
Boromir: *boo!*
Fan-girl: *thinks Boromir is an evil ghost come to haunt her* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *faints*
Boromir: *gets all smug* Couldn't have said that better myself! *strolls away whistling*
To Be Continued...
A/N:
Boromir: Well, you know the rules folks! My poor bro won't be able to get back to normal if you don't review even if you think this story's crap. The Winter Wizard really appreciates and values your feedback!
Faramir: That's right! As you can see, I'm not so crazy in this story but all the OOC'ness, AU, and slash in fanfiction is driving me mad and making me slowly but surely insane.
Boromir: So if you want the blessings of Valar and all the other gods upon you...
Faramir: ...Then comment like there's no tomorrow!
Boromir: Amen to that!
Me: Okay guys, stop being cheesy! Still, what they said is true as I thrive on reviews and this chapter only came about because of them since all the main pairings I wanted to do have been written already. So if you have a favourite pairing then post it along with a comment on your opinion, and I'll try to put it in the next chapter. And, as always...
...Stay tuned!