A/N:

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Happy Birthday Severus Snape

Chapter 22

"Spit it out already! You've been driving me mad all week!" Severus said early Tuesday evening. They had just been about to start their work in the lab and had just finished laying out their ingredients. It had been three days since she had found out about the unbreakable vow that Severus had made. As soon as she had heard about what he had done, she had stormed into his office determined to give him a piece of her mind. However, when Hermione had gotten there, she found his rooms empty. After a few minutes of sitting there, mulling over everything, she realized that she was being rash and if she was going to confront him about this, she couldn't be in this sort of state. Eventually she decided to drop the subject until she could talk about it calmly and rationally. So, taking the high road, she left his quarters. Unfortunately, she had not fully thought this plan through. She forgot that in between her being rational and irrational she would be with working with Severus. She had been hoping that he hadn't notice her change in attitude but obviously, that hadn't been the case.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said trying to avoid the confrontation.

"Please, spare me! You have been acting strange all week! It's getting on my nerves. Instead of wasting our time just skip through whatever you're wallowing about and just tell me!" He said walking up to her. They were in the lab and had just started laying out their ingredients.

"How could you Severus! How could you?" She said tears starting to roll down her face.

"What are you even talking about!" He said frustrated. "I might be able to answer that if I knew what you were talking about! I have, after all, done many things that would garner such a display of emotion!"

"Harry told me what you did! He heard everything!"

"Oh what has that little brat eavesdropped in on this time?" When he saw that he was getting nowhere he rephrased the question, in an almost begging tone. "Hermione, again I ask you to be a bit more specific. What did he hear?"

"He told me you made an unbreakable vow Severus! Were you ever going to tell me?" Her face was now red with anger. She really hadn't planned on letting him see her this emotional but the bloody bastard tended to bring out this side of her when she least wanted it. Looking at his reaction, it was obvious that this hadn't been what he had been expecting her to say.

"Probably." He said ashamedly.

"Probably? Probably! How could you not tell me! I am your friend! I care what happens to you! How could you not tell me!"

"Hermione calm down you're getting hysterical!"

"Well I think this is one of the times that I should be hysterical! I've just found out that you have signed your own death warrant!"

"That is not true! This is all part of the plan! You don't know the whole story!" He ground out frustrated.

"Then tell me!"

"You know I can't do that there is too much riding on this to tell anyone. It is best that you don't know anything."

"Then how can I know that you are telling me the truth?"

"You just have to trust me." They were both silent for a moment. Until she whispered, "Oh course I trust you."

"If the plan works I should be fine. Or alive at least."

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"Yes but now isn't the time to tell you."

"Why?"

"Honestly, because I don't want to."

She nodded "Okay."

"Just like that? It's okay?" He said disbelievingly.

"Yup. Just like that."

"But why?"

"Because I just realized that I can't force you into telling me something like this. Whatever it is that you and Dumbledore are planning, it is going to affect the entire Wizarding World. Even though I want to know, I don't really have a right to. From now on, I promise I won't ask you about it. If you finally decide that you want to tell me, then I will be happy to hear it. But until then, you won't hear a word about it from me."

Severus was quite confused now. She was being so… understanding. "Thank you."

"Are you sure there wasn't any other way?" She said looking up at him.

"I'm sure, there was no other way. Bellatrix was testing my loyalty. If I had refused I would already be dead."

"There had to have been another way." She said desperately.

"There wasn't." He said stepping closer to her and enveloping her in his arms. "I promise there wasn't." She was surprised at how natural it seemed for him to be comforting her like this.

After a few minutes Hermione's breathing calmed. Severus moved back a bit to look at her. Her face was covered in tear tracks. Silently he wiped them away. "I'm sorry that you had to find out that way."

"It was terrible. I was so scared for you and yet I wasn't allowed to show it because Harry was there." She said sniffling. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me." She said stepping back and away from him.

"Think nothing of it." He said almost coldly. She wasn't surprised to hear it really. He had obviously crossed one of his "lines" just then and was regretting it. "So Potter knows that I made an unbreakable vow does he?"

"I'm afraid so. He thinks that your true allegiance is with the Malfoys. I tried to tell him otherwise but he wouldn't listen. He is going to talk to Dumbledore about it, once Dumbledore tells him that it's nothing new to him I'm sure Harry will calm down a bit."

"You don't truly believe that do you?"

She smiled up at him. "I can hope can't I?"

"What was he even doing? Oh that little brat will pay. He is going to get himself killed!"

"What's this Severus? You almost sound concerned for his well being." She said in a mocking tone with an evil glint in her eye.

"You sound just like Albus." He said through a groan. "I have risked my life more times than I can count to save that boy's neck and what does he do the first chance he gets? He follows people he believes to be Death Eaters around in the shadows of the castle! Honestly does he have no sense of self preservation!" Hermione giggled at this. "And why are you laughing don't you care at all for your friends safety?" He said accusatorially.

"No. I know that you won't let any harm come to him if you can help it."

"Just get to work." He spat back at her.

"Okay, okay. No need to get so touchy." She said teasingly going over to her station.

"I am NOT touchy. I merely want to go to bed at a reasonable hour this evening." He said making his way over to his cauldron.

….

"Severus?"

"Yes?" He said warily. They had only just finished for the evening and he was frustrated at not making any strides where the antidote was concerned.

"I have been thinking and….. well….."

"Just spit it out woman! I am in no mood."

"Right –Sorry. I was just wondering if you would be willing to teach me occlumency. I realised today how much information I know and if I was ever captured, I could risk exposing you. I don't think I could live with myself if that ever happened."

"Yes, I have been thinking the same thing actually. You're right it is dangerous to have your mind so under protected. We shall start training tomorrow. We will have practice every other day to give your mind a break. It can be very tiring in the beginning to have someone poking around in your mind all the time."

Hermione suddenly went into a panic. She knew what the lessons would entail of course but she hadn't really thought about the fact that Severus would now have full access to her most private thoughts. This could not end well.

"All right. I'll see you tomorrow. Is there anything that I should do to prepare?"

"Yes." He said as he waved his wand. Hermione saw three books fly through the door and land in his hands. "You can read these. Do try to read as much as you can by tomorrow. And have it all completed by the end of the week." He said handing the books to her. She nodded in acquiescence.

…

When Hermione walked through the portrait hole, she was surprised to hear giggling coming from one of the dark corners of the common room. She rolled her eyes dramatically. Honestly! Didn't the youth of Hogwarts have anything better to do? She walked over to the chair where the two "love-birds" were sitting. She couldn't see who they were. She might not have even noticed them if it weren't for the legs hanging over the arm of the chair and the girlish giggling the girl was making.

"Okay you two, it's one in the morning, way past curfew. Get to bed. Now." She was surprised when the two heads popped up to see who had interrupted their alone time. She groaned inwardly when she saw Lavender's goofy face and Ron's bewildered one looking back at her.

"Hermione! Are you just getting in?" Lavender said, scandalized. "Who were you out seeing? Ohhhh is he a Hufflepuff ?"

"I was in the library. I just lost track of time." She said avoiding Ron's questioning gaze.

"Oh yes. Of course, the library. I should have realized." She said gesturing to the books in her hand. "Well good night Won Won!" She said turning back to him. Hermione realised that Lavender was still sitting on his lap and that both their shirts had just been put quickly back into place. Ron still hadn't said a word. He seemed too embarrassed to speak. She also noticed him trying to read the book titles she was holding. She quickly covered the titles so he wouldn't be able to read them. Not acknowledging Lavender's goodbye, he finally spoke. "You were in the library were you?"

"Oh who cares where she was!" Lavender said loudly obviously trying to bring Ron's attention back onto her.

"I believe that's my cue." She said speaking to no one in particular, retreating to the girls' dormitory.

Well that was awkward. And what had Ron meant by that last statement? Had he known that she had been working with Snape? Well it didn't really matter it was no secret to him that she was Snape's assistant. The way he had phrased the question though, it had almost seemed accusatory. Oh well who cared what Ron thought about her working with Snape. She had no time to think about it. Right now, she had to read. Considering they were starting tomorrow, she would have to read in between classes. She quickly charmed the covers of the books to various history books so nobody would know that she was studying occlumency and then proceeded to get ready for bed, if she was lucky, she could pretend to be asleep when Lavender finally made her way into their room.

…..

The next morning Hermione was at the Gryffindor table when she looked up for the third time to see Harry staring at her. "What?"

"I spoke to Ron this morning."

"And?" She said even though she knew what he meant.

"And were you really in the library?"

"If you must know, no I wasn't." She said turning a page in her book, attempting to be as nonchalant as possible.

"So you were with-"

"Yes! Okay I was. I do after all work for him."

"Do you always work that late?"

"I do as a matter of fact." She said starting to get annoyed.

"But… but Hermione! He's over working you how can you possibly do it all! Wait unless… Did McGonagall give you another time turner?"

"No she didn't give me another time turner! You know that's impossible!"

"Wait? So then how are you getting it all done? You can't possibly be getting enough sleep."

"I'll have you know that I am handling it fine. If I am tired I just say so and I leave early! He's not some vicious dictator you know. I do still have my free will."

"Okay, okay I'm sorry. I'm just looking out for you. I just wanted to make sure you weren't having a repeat of third year."

Her expression warmed at that. "Thank you for worrying about me Harry, really. But I promise I'm fine."

…..

That evening Hermione was sitting at her desk in the lab still trying to read as much as possible from those books that Severus had given her. She had somehow finished one and done a brief overview of the other two. Just then, Severus walked in, he had had to push the lesson back to eight after he had lost his temper and assigned a fourth year Gryffindor detention for that night.

"Severus?"

"I assume that you have a multitude of questions for me?"

"Not too many actually. Just one main one." She paused here.

'Well? I haven't got all night you know."

"There are some things that I don't want you to see. I'm sure that you can understand that." He nodded in acceptance. "I read in one of the books that you visualize a chest and put all the memories you don't want seen in that box. And then you build a wall to protect them."

"Yes that is correct."

"Well obviously in these lessons you are going to be breaking into that box. Is there any way I can separate the memories I don't want you to see from all of my other memories."

"There is." He said a tad hesitantly. "It worries me that there are particular memories that you don't want me to see." He said suspiciously.

"It's nothing too important I promise mostly just girly thoughts that would only waste your time if you found them." She said trying to hide how important it was to her. "Look Severus, I know that you could see any one of my memories that you choose, I am no match for you, I am trusting you with my deepest most private thoughts. Can I trust you not to peek?" She said in all seriousness.

After a moment, he whispered solemnly, "Of course."

"Good." She said standing up. "So where's the best place to do this?"

"You will most likely fall a lot so why don't we sit on the couch."

When they were both sitting on the couch Hermione looked over at him expectantly, waiting for instructions.

"Before we begin I want you to close your eyes and put all of the memories that you don't want me to see in a small black box. Then I want you to put the rest of your memories into a large wooden chest." He waited until Hermione nodded slowly. "Now I want you to build a brick wall around both of them to keep me out." She nodded again. "Now open your eyes." As soon as she opened them he dove right into her mind. He went in without the intention of breaking down the wall, he merely went to observe how strong the wall was. With one nudge however, the wall came tumbling down and he could see the two boxes. He quickly left her mind before he could be tempted to open the boxes.

"That was….. horrible, and amazing at the same time." She said in wonderment.

He chuckled at her reaction. "Not many people would say the same when feeling the sensation of someone reading their thoughts. You did quite well for your first time, I'm impressed."

"What are you talking about? You barley touched the wall and it came crumbling down."

"Most people are not even able to build a wall their first time. Now, again!"

They went on like this for another hour until Severus told her it was time to stop.

"But can't we go just a little longer? I'm sure I will get it soon!"

"Hermione you are as white as a ghost, trust me you have pushed your mind enough for tonight. Now have some chocolate before you faint for Merlin's sake."

She took the chocolate from him and slowly began to eat. After a few minutes the color had come back to her and she seemed to have a bit more energy.

"So how are things going with Draco?" She said conversationally.

"Not well."

"How so?"

"He still refuses to trust me, and having the holiday at the manor didn't help matters, he seems even more adamant than ever to not trust me."

"That's unfortunate. Have you thought of talking to Narcissa about it?"

"I have told her time and time again but he seems to only be listening to his Auntie Bellatrix at the moment." He said spitting out her name.

Hermione then decided to change the subject onto more positive and trivial things. "I got a letter from my parents the other day."

Severus gave her a look telling her that he knew what she was doing by changing the subject so abruptly.

"They asked me if I wanted to go back to France this summer."

"For how long?"

"It sounded to me like they wanted to spend their whole summer there."

"Are you going to go?"

"No, I don't think I will be able to. It would be nice though…. to escape. But there is too much going on here."

They sat on the couch just thinking about the future and how dark it looked for a half hour before Severus ordered her to get to bed.

"I'm not going to have Minerva coming down here yelling at me for over-working you!" Hermione would have fought the statement but she was too tired to say anything. So she reluctantly said goodbye and made her way back up to Gryffindor tower.

It was only ten when she opened the portrait hole to Gryffindor tower so she wasn't too surprised to see that Harry was still up. "Hermione! You're back early!"

"Hi Harry." She said in a tired voice. Considering their conversation that morning, this was not the best time to look exhausted. "Yes he let me go early tonight."

"You look exhausted! Are you alright?"

"Yes Harry I'm fine! I just need a little bit of sleep is all. I'll talk to you tomorrow, night Harry." She said, leaving Harry there to wonder what he had done to offend her. "She can be so stubborn at times." He whispered to himself.

…

Hermione had debated these past couple of days on what to do for Severus' birthday. In the end, she decided that he would be uncomfortable with too much of a celebration. But being Hermione, she couldn't let the day go by completely unrecognized. After all, he had remembered her birthday. That Thursday evening they had planned to work in the lab as usual. After dinner, Hermione made sure that she left the Great Hall before Severus. When Severus walked into the lab he saw Hermione in the middle of something. Not wanting to interrupt her, he went over to his desk and stopped at the sight he saw on his desk.

"Hermione? What are those?" he said cautiously.

"I should think that were obvious Severus." She said not looking up from the notes she was writing. "Did you really think I wouldn't remember your birthday?"

"I was hoping. I see now that it was naive of me to think such a thing." he said looking at the gift and chocolate cake she had left on his desk.

"Aren't you supposed to pester me to open your gift and your eat your cake?"

"Would you like me to? I will if you want."

"No thank you." He said taking the gift in his hands and sitting down. Hermione walked over to his desk, she was secretly anxious at how her gift would be received. He opened the small black velvet box to see a beautiful silver pocket watch. When he opened it, he was shocked to see a picture of the two of them. It was a Wizarding photograph so they were moving.. In the photo they were in this very lab, both standing over a cauldron. Suddenly the Severus in the photo said something funny, because the next second the photo Hermione was laughing to the point of tears. The photo Severus didn't laugh but his expression had softened and he was giving the photo Hermione an endearing half-smile. Severus was shocked to see that he had even let himself display that amount of emotion. It was odd though, in this photo he looked almost normal, almost happy.

"Do you like it?" she said hesitantly biting her lip. "I wasn't sure if-"

"How did you do this?" he asked curiously.

"A girl has to keep some secrets." She said mischievously.

Severus chuckled at this.

"So you like it?" Hermione said hesitantly.

"I have to admit that I'm impressed that you were able to do all this without me finding out. Thank you. It's sad that I won't actually be able to wear it."

"What do you mean!"

"Hermione what if it was stolen people can't see that picture. It would blow my cover."

"It's alright I took care of that. I charmed the picture so that only you and I can see it, and I burned any other copies. I don't even have a copy."

Severus looked impressed that she had been able to do a concealing charm that advanced. He would have done it himself, had he thought of it.

"That was a slightly adequate idea." He said placing it gently in his pocket. Hermione gave him a winning smile at the gesture. She knew what he really meant to say even if he did say it through a weakly constructed insult.

"So now I think it's time that I pester you to have some chocolate cake!"

He rolled his eyes, but Hermione could tell that he was just as eager to have the cake as she was. It was the same cake she had gotten in the summer, when they had celebrated the advance they had made in the anti-venom project.

"What are you thinking about?" Severus inquired at seeing her far away look.

"Oh nothing….. I was just thinking about the last time we had this cake."

He nodded his head remembering as well.