Dane

Chapter 21

Barnabas felt as though he's whole world was collapsing around him, at those six words. He had waited too long, had made her wait too long, and now he would lose her. Once again, he would lose the woman he loved, and this time it wouldn't be due to a curse, but he's own stupidity. But was it? He had held back so long, because he loved her. He loved her too much, to risk her life.

"Marry him?" he asked, still shocked. He sank into the nearby chair, feeling utterly crushed.

Julia watched him, curious by his reaction. It was true that neither Barnabas nor Dane had gotten on very well. They had hated and distrusted each other from the moment they had met, she knew that. But, Barnabas had seemed…deflated her news. That feeling that there had been some subtle change about him was stronger, more pronounced. She'd notice a few nights ago. He was different somehow.

"Have you accepted his offer?" asked Barnabas, finding his voice. He looked up at her, his penetrating eyes, boring into hers. The look that he'd given her in 1840 when she'd almost blurted out her true feelings was back, and her heart skipped a beat.

"No," she admitted almost in a whisper. "I couldn't accept it, Barnabas."

Hope flooded through him. Was it possible that he still wasn't too late? But if he were to tell her now, how would she take it? As a feeble attempt to make her stay at Collinwood? Would she believe that he was telling her the truth?

Julia was staring at him, worriedly. "Barnabas, are you all right?" she asked, deeply concerned. "I knew I shouldn't have told you, until you'd fully recovered."

"When did he ask you?" he heard himself ask, as though when he'd asked, would make much difference.

"A few nights before you became ill. It was something I never expected."

"I believe you were engaged once," said Barnabas, rising to his feet, and standing beside the fire.

"That was a very long time ago, Barnabas. People change; grow apart. I couldn't any more marry Dane, than I could stop -." She stopped short, knowing what she'd almost said.

Barnabas turned, and looked at her, silently for a few moments. To Julia his gaze seemed to last an eternity, before he broke the silence. "While we seem to be on the subject of confessions," he paused, searching for the proper words. "I have one of my own," he said after a few minutes. He paused again; still staring at her intently, her heart began to race.

"The night I was ill, do you remember anything I said?"

"That you were afraid. And that you wanted to save and protect...Angelique," she said the last with resentment and difficulty.

Barnabas shook his head. "No, Julia," he said quietly. What he said now, he knew he had to convince her, of his sincerity, and why he'd held back for so long. He hoped she would understand. "When I told Angelique that I loved her, I lied, Julia. I lied, to save you."

"To save me?" she asked, "from what?"

"Me," he said closing the gap between them, and coming to stand in front of her. He stared at her, earnestly, and took one of her hands in his.

"I knew what you were going to say, when you warned me not to trust Angelique, when she lifted the curse, in 1840. I had wanted to tell you then, that I loved you, too, Julia. Yes, that I loved you," he repeated, seeing her startled reaction. "But I was afraid, that if I allowed you to know how I truly felt, then the curse would befall you too. I had seen too many of the people that I loved, die, that I couldn't risk losing you too. Angelique had already tried to harm you, through Roxanne, and I couldn't bare the thought of any more harm coming to you. And, to protect you from further harm, I told Angelique that I loved her; that she was my one and only love. I knew it had hurt you deeply and I regret having to deceive you so, but it was necessary."

He paused, and looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you, Julia. I have no words to express how much or how dear you are to me. I don't deserve you, or your love, but without you, my world wouldn't be complete." He let go of her hand, and reached into his jacket pocket. He hesitated only slightly, before handing her the velvet box. "There's something I want you to have," he said giving the box to her.

She'd listened to what he'd had to say, in silence. She took the box, mutely; still unable to believe what she'd heard. She wanted to believe him so much. She had longed for this moment for so long, she couldn't accept that it had finally happened.

She opened the box and gasped. Inside, sitting on a red velvet cushion was a ring, shaped with two intertwining hearts. In the middle of the hearts, was an emerald stone.

"Barnabas!" she exclaimed, finding her voice at last. "It's beautiful!"

"I know you have every reason to doubt my sincerity, but I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. I never want us to be apart again. Julia, will you accept this ring, as my wife?"

She stared at him, taken completely by surprise. The depth of emotion she saw displayed on his face was staggering in its intensity. Her heart swelled almost to the point of breaking as he took her face in his hands and gently brushed his lips with hers.

She moaned as the kiss deepened. His arms surrounded her, and held her tightly against his body. So tightly that he could feel the racing of her heart, against his chest.

The kissed ended, and he held her, not wanting to release her, now that she was in his arms.

She pulled away from him gently, so that she could look into his face.

"Yes, I will marry you, Barnabas," she said, her eyes sparkled, with unshed tears of happiness. "I love you, Barnabas."

He bent and kissed her again, the kiss growing bolder and more passionate.

The kiss finally ended, and Barnabas reluctantly released her. "You deserve more than I can give you, as I am. Perhaps it would be better to wait, until we've found a cure, before we marry," he said.

Julia shook her head. "I see no point in waiting, Barnabas. Nothing would change, just because I was your wife. The same amount of time would pass whether, we are married or not."

"Are you sure, you'd rather not wait?" he asked stepping closer to her.

"If we could marry tonight, Barnabas, I would," she said, submitting to his embrace.

"Nothing would make me happier, than to marry you tonight," he agreed, "but the dawn is almost upon us. However, if you're willing to wait two nights from now."

She smiled at him, "I've waited this long, I'm sure I can wait two more days."

He smiled and kissed her again. This time when the kiss ended he held her tightly, desperately to him, as he sensed the coming dawn, and the forced separation that would keep them apart.

He released her just enough to glance down at her. He took her hand and gently kissed each finger. A look of sadness replaced the happiness that had been there, only a short time before.

"Barnabas, what is it?"

He looked at her, with his penetrating, hazel eyes. "I must leave you soon," he said, his voice filled with loathing.

"Only for a short time," she said, trying to ease his pain.

"Any time apart from you is too long," he said. "Would, would you come down with me?" he asked, almost pleaded. "Stay with me, until..."

"If that's what you want."

"And tonight, when I awake. Yours is the first face that I wish to see."

"I'll be there," she promised, as he kissed her.

At dawn's approach they went down to the basement room, together. She turned her back on him as he climbed into his wooden prison. There she waited, until the curious force that give Barnabas his half-life, faded with morning's approach.

To the world he was only a corpse, but she knew with the coming of night, he would be restored to her once more.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, then resting his hands, on his chest, gently closed the lid over the sleeping form. She would keep her promise and be there, when he awoke that night.