Dane
Chapter 24
A/N Parts of this chapter were a bit difficult to write; after a number of rewrites I finally decided to go with this version. Hopefully it will make more sense, in the following chapter, which is sadly (or happily, depending on your view ;)) is the last one. I also got a bit carried away with this.
/
Julia stepped out into the night, looking for any sign of Dane. A movement to her left caught her eye, and she went off in that direction. Despite everything that Dane had done, interfering, as he had, she still hadn't wanted him to learn of her impending marriage the way he had. While it was Barnabas that she loved, there was a better way to let Dane down.
The figure ahead of her paused, as if unsure of which way to go, giving Julia the chance to catch up. "Dane!" she called, to the figure. "Wait!"
The figure moved on, as if it hadn't heard her, but she knew where he was headed, and lessened her pace.
Dane paused, when he heard Julia following him. He turned, watching her progress, and decided to wait for her. He dug his hands deep into the pockets of his tweed jacket, and gazed out at the ocean, from Widow's Hill.
She reached his side a few minutes later, sounding breathless from her pursuit. He didn't acknowledge her presence, as he continued to stare stonily out at the horizon.
"Dane, I'm so sorry, you had to find out like that," she tried to explain. "I wanted to tell you myself, privately."
"I'm surprised he allowed you to come out here, alone," he said bitterly, not turning to face her. "Considering how we can't stand each other."
"Dane, please..." she began, and he turned on her quickly, the distress and pain clear on his face.
"I hope you'll be very happy, with him Julia, you'll need it."
"I'll forget you said that, Dane, " said Julia, coldly, "only because, I understand how you're feeling right now."
"You have no idea of how I feel!" he snapped, his eyes flashing, with anger. Then she realised it wasn't anger, but tears, just barely controlled. "I love you, Julia, I've never made a secret of it. If I thought you could be happy with him." He shook his head, and turned away from her. "I've been a fool, haven't I?" he asked calmly.
Inside, he felt empty. "I should have expected something like this, when you said you loved him. I just never expected him to admit how he felt about you, much less ask you to marry him." He turned back to the ocean. "I'd thought him too much of a coward."
She allowed a bleak smile to cross her face. "Barnabas can be surprising when he wishes. There is a lot about him, you don't know. But a coward is one thing he isn't. I can't imagine my life without him, Dane. I know you expected more from me, and I'm sorry I can't give you what you want. But I can only love one man. I'm truly sorry."
He turned to face her again. The distress of her words, etched deeply on his face. He looked at her with wounded eyes. "I thought once, that it was me. We were great together," he said in a cracked voice. "We would have made a good marriage together. But I lost you then, too, didn't I?"
"I changed, Dane, it had nothing to do with you, or how we felt about each other."
"You sacrificed love, marriage and children for a doctor's degree. Looking back, do you still think it was worth it?"
"Yes, I do. To be what I am today took a lot of hard work and dedication. There were many people just waiting for me to fail and prove them right that a woman could never be a doctor. And some who weren't too fussy about how they went about it. I decided that if I were to succeed, then marriage and children would have to be put aside, until such a time that was more acceptable to me. I realised that my work was more important to me - then I met Barnabas, and everything changed. I never meant to hurt you Dane, you must believe that."
He remained silent, staring out at the night ocean. Lost in his own bleak thoughts.
/
Two days later, Barnabas and Julia's wedding plans were set in motion.
Elizabeth insisted that the marriage take place at Collinwood, and Barnabas felt that he couldn't refuse her.
The whole house was a hive of activity, as everyone bustled about, organising and arranging things. On the actual day of the marriage, Julia found herself, feeling dazed, wondering if it were all a dream. The past few days, from Barnabas confessing his love and proposing felt like a blur.
At any moment she expected to wake up, and realising that everything had been as it always was.
Now, in a lull in the frantic activities of getting everything ready for that night, she found herself, alone in her room. Her thoughts wondered to Barnabas, sleeping in his wooden prison, lost to her, until darkness freed him to her for the night. The previous night, she had examined him, hopeful that in a few days, she could prepare him for yet another attempt to cure him. He had tried to talk her out of it; after all, she had enough to occupy her, with the wedding. She'd explained that it was because of the wedding that she was doing it.
What she had discovered had filled her with hope. He had remarkable regenerative powers. His body was recovering well, from the shock it had received only days before. She had left instructions for Barnabas to take a solution when he arose that night, to help him curb his hunger, at least for a few hours.
Her thoughts of Barnabas made her aware for the first time, how much she missed him during the day. She promised herself, that her first duty to him as his wife would be to find the answer to his curse. That she would full fill this requirement, as a doctor was neither here nor there. She knew that she should start on getting ready, darkness was only a few hours away, but the thought that brides were traditionally late, made her smile to herself, ruefully. Right now, the urge to go to the Old House was too strong to be denied. The need to be near him, was too powerful to ignore.
Willie was just putting the finishing touches to the drawing room, when he heard the door open. He frowned, wondering who would be calling at this time of day, with so many preparations taking place at the Big House. The thought that it might be Julia or Dane never crossed his mind.
"Julia, what are you, doin' here?" he asked surprised at seeing her.
"Oh, I was just going to run a few tests."
Willie, wiped his hands on the tea towel, he'd hooked into his trouser belt hoops, and shook his head, emphatically. "Oh no you don't!" he said guiding her back towards the door. "Don' ya know it's bad luck to see the groom before the weddin'?"
"Willie," she tutted annoyed at his superstitions. "I was hardly planning on seeing Barnabas," tutted Julia. "And it's still daylight…."
"No buts, Julia," Willie stated, unfazed. "You've a weddin' to get ready for, and if you start workin' on a cure, you'll never get married. I'll make sure he takes the medicine ya made. Now out!" he finished as he gently but firmly pushed her out the door. "Trust me, you'll be thankin' me for this later." And closed the door in her face, sliding the bolt across to make sure.
Julia stared at the barred door, furiously. "Willie, open this door!" she yelled and hammered to get her point across. "Willie!" The door remained barred against her admittance, and after a few minutes reflection, she smiled at the absurdity of it all. In a few short hours, this would be her home. And Willie was only looking after Barnabas and her interests. After all, this was Collinwood - anything could happen.
/
Barnabas stood nervously in the corner of the room, holding a glass of brandy that Roger had given him, which he'd taken simply out of politeness. He glanced down at the amber liquid, and felt his stomach turn. What was taking her so long? He wondered. Yet at the same time, he hoped that she'd take forever.
The room was crowded with friends of the family, and Barnabas thought he recognised Nicholas Andrews, Julia's second-in-command at Wyndcliffe. He'd seen him on a few occasions when he'd had reason to go there. He seemed to be getting on quite well, with Carolyn, and he smiled to himself, Carolyn needed the diversion, after Jeb's death, which she was still coming to terms with.
Roger made his way from the fireplace, where he'd been talking to the Judge. He grinned mischievously at his nervous cousin. "You look as pale as a ghost, Barnabas," he commented. "And you haven't touched your brandy!"
Barnabas looked down at his glass, and grimaced. "Forgive me, but brandy is the last thing I need," he muttered, putting the glass on side bureau.
Roger laughed and said, "No matter, it'll be all over in a few minutes. I wonder where Julia is?"
Barnabas fidgeted with his bow tie. "That's exactly what I want to know, " he said quietly.
Elizabeth entreated the drawing room, and searched the room, apparently looking for Barnabas. Spotting him, she quickly made her way over to him, smiling reassuringly. "Julia, will be down in a few minutes, Barnabas. She's just making a few last minute adjustments." She sensed his nervousness, and her smile became supportive as she placed a hand on his arm. "Just a few minutes longer, and she'll be down."
/
Julia paused at the top of the stairs, gathering herself for the next few minutes when her life would be forever changed. Down those stairs, and a short walk to the drawing room, where the man she was about to marry, was waiting for her.
She braced herself, and plucked the courage from somewhere, to begin the descent to a new life. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, which seemed both the longest and shortest in her life, a figure detached itself from the shadows, and she gasped in both surprise and fright.
"Sorry I frightened you," said Dane, his face flushed with drink. He looked her up and down, and smiled. "You look fantastic," he said, nodding his approval, and she began to relax a little. This had been the first time she had seen him, since he had learned of her marriage plans. Although she had extended an open invitation to attend, she hadn't really expected him to stay, knowing how he felt about Barnabas and the whole thing in general.
"I'm glad you decided to stay," she said. "After the other night, I wouldn't have blamed you for leaving."
"I decided to stay," he said quite un-necessarily. "I lost you once, before, but I won't this time."
She felt a stab of fear and doubt pierce her soul. "What do you mean?" she asked, not sure if she really wanted to hear the answer.
"It's quite simple really," he said folding his arms. "I love you, Julia, and I'm going to do everything I can to make you see what a big mistake you're making."
"Don't do anything to spoil my wedding, Dane," she threatened, "otherwise it won't just be my love you'll lose."
Elizabeth appeared at the drawing room doors, unaware of the tension between them. "The Judge is ready now, Julia. And Barnabas is waiting."
Julia turned to Dane once more. "Please Dane. If it is a mistake, let me make it on my own."
Julia stepped into the doorway of the drawing room, and the low murmur of voices quietened as they became of the bride's presence.
Barnabas had retreated to the fireplace, staring into the flames, while he waited impatiently for his wife-to-be, slowly turned to see why the conversation had ceased.
When he saw her, everyone else in the room ceased to exist. He was mesmerised by her beauty. He was afraid to blink in case this vision she made would vanish if he did so. He swallowed as she became aware of his gaze, and slowly advanced towards him.
She wore a cream two-piece suit, which seemed to sparkle with a life of it's own. Her hair was swept up into a bun, interlaced with pearls. She wore no veil, but she held the customary bouquet of flowers. She wore only a little make-up, but the effect was flattering. As he stared at her, he felt himself drown in her eyes. He tried to speak her name, but his throat couldn't follow through.
Seeing her, as she was now, only seemed to ridicule the whole idea of they were about to do. She was after all, literally marrying a dead man. What was he thinking of, condemning her to such a marriage when all they had to look forward to, was the approach of dusk.
But how could he turn away from her now, when he knew that to live without her, would be a fate far worse than what he was forced to live through now?
She made his existence more bearable. She was as much apart of his existence, as the night was. He's anchor, his friend, and so much more, than she could ever begin to realise. While he was a vampire, he was afraid to show her how deep his love for her was. He'd come close to harming her once, what if it was repeated, and there was no way he could prevent what would happen? It had almost happened in 1840, before his 1971 self had possessed his 1840 self. If he had harmed her...he shuddered at the thought.
He would have to exercise more self-control and caution than ever before.
Already he could feel the wanting in his soul, and he felt helpless to stop it.
Her heart raced as she drew closer to him. And when he smiled and reached out a hand, she took it, with a trembling hand, holding on tightly, as though he'd vanish if she didn't.
The dream-like feel of events, faded abruptly, as he drew her closer. She swallowed, and tried to speak; only managing an almost inaudible squeak of his name. His throat worked but no sound came out, and it was then that she realised that he was as nervous as she was.
Instead, of saying anything, he gently raised her hand, and kissed the back of it.
From behind him the Judge coughed politely, and the spell that they were the only two people gathered in the room was broken.
Julia found herself; able to breathe once more, and felt some of her nervousness leave her, as she took her place beside Barnabas.
She turned to look up at him, and he gently patted the hand he still held, and smiled. He mouthed the words' "I love you," still unable to quite trust his voice.
"Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have a moment?" asked Judge Thomas, a man in his late sixties. A hush quickly settled around the room, as everyone took their places, behind Barnabas and Julia.
Once order had settled, Judge Thomas leaned in towards the nervous couple, and said a few words, that only they could hear. He smiled at their answer, and whispered a few words of encouragement.
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God," began the Judge, "and in the eyes of this company, to join together this man and this woman."
The Judge's voice trailed away, as Barnabas turned to look at Julia. The question of whether this marriage was fair to her crossed his mind, once more. Should he have followed his instincts and postponed the ceremony until a cure had been found? His being cried out that this was wrong, that he should have a waited. But a part of him, knew that he was doing the right thing. What if a cure was never found? It wasn't worth thinking about. He was brought back to reality by the Judge asking a question, and he suddenly went cold, as Julia's face paled and she looked not at him, but at Dane Spencer, and it wasn't a look that he much cared to see on her face; fear and doubt.
"Is there anyone present, who thinks that these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? Speak now or forever hold your peace."
Julia tried not to let Dane's threat to stop the wedding get to her. After all, what he could he do? He had no reason to suspect that Barnabas was anything than what he appeared to be. Certainly he wouldn't ever think that Barnabas was a vampire. But she wondered; he'd seemed so confidant when he had spoken to her briefly in the foyer.
Barnabas turned to face Dane, and she realised that he knew Dane had something to do with the way she was reacting. From the look on Barnabas' face, Dane would be better to tread very carefully.
After a few minutes and Dane remained silent, they both breathed a sigh of relief. The Judge waited a half-second longer and then turning to Julia; he proffered the two wedding rings that had been placed on his Bible. Julia took the ring meant for Barnabas. "Do you Julia Hoffman, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love, honour and cherish, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"
Julia's heart swelled up with pride as she slipped the gold band on his finger. "I do," she whispered, gazing up at him. Seeing her smile, settled any doubts Barnabas still had. They were in this together, and always would be. "In sickness and in health" the Judge had said. Well they were already in the sickness part of their vows, he only hoped - no prayed - that the health part would quickly follow, so they could both be free.
Barnabas took the ring for Julia, in a trembling hand, and the Judge repeated his question. In a shaky voice, Barnabas answered his "I do," as he placed the ring on her finger.
The Judge beamed at the newly married couple and took both of their hands in his. "I now pronounce you man and wife. Congratulations. You may kiss the bride."
Barnabas turned to face his new wife, and as the room cheered and threw rice, his kissed her tenderly, though briefly. Julia understood his reasons why, and hugged him, briefly, whispering, "I love you", in his ear.
Roger was the first to congratulate them. He shook Barnabas' hand vigorously, and kissed Julia on the cheek. "Welcome to the family, Julia!" he crowed.
Barnabas and Julia laughed, delightedly. "Thank you, Roger," said Julia, happily, glancing up at her husband. "Of course, this means that you get a share in the Cannery now, Barnabas," continued Roger.
"Ignore him, Barnabas," said Elizabeth with a smile, coming over to join them. "Congratulations, Barnabas, Julia," she said kissing them both on the cheek. "I'm so happy for you, both."
"Thank you, Elizabeth, for everything," said Julia, sincerely. "It means a lot to us both," she said including Barnabas in her glance.
"Yes, thank you, Elizabeth," agreed Barnabas, with one of his rare smiles.
"Excuse me," said Dane, coming over to the group. "I just wanted to offer my congratulations." And he stuck out his hand in Barnabas' direction.
Barnabas had no choice to but to take the proffered hand. Dane's grip was like steel, and he pumped their arms, vigorously. Elizabeth excused herself, and once she had left, Dane's friendly grin, faded from his face.
His eyes grew cold as he regarded Barnabas. "I don't like you," he said, "That much is obvious. But you'd better look after her, Collins, or else I'll be back," he threatened.
"You don't have to worry, Spencer," said Barnabas, equally cold, disentangling himself, from Dane's grip. "I intend to make her as happy as possible."
"You've already done that," Julia assured him, leaning in close against him. "And thank you Dane, for what you've done."
"Oh, don't thank me, Julia. I only realised that if I had sabotaged your wedding, losing you to another man, would have been the least of my losses." He turned to look at Barnabas, with cold eyes. "Just remember my warning, Collins." Satisfied, he turned and mingled with the other guests.
/
Somehow, Barnabas and Julia found themselves, in the garden of Collinwood.
It was the first chance either of them had had any time alone, in the few hours they had been married.
Julia glanced up at the night sky, and sighed. Barnabas came up behind her, and gathered her into his arms. "I wish tonight would never end," she pondered aloud.
He kissed her hair, and gathered her closer to him. She gathered his hands in hers, feeling content. "I know what you mean, but we should return. Our guests will be wondering where we are."
She snuggled closer to him. "Let them wait, just a while longer, Barnabas," she said, turning around to face him. "Right now, I just want us to be alone."
He smiled down at her fondly. "We have the rest of our lives, to be alone," he chided. "Besides, you're getting chilled."
"Just a few minutes longer," she said, resting her hands on his chest, and looking up at him.
He sighed and shook his head. "A few minutes more," he allowed, moving to kiss her.
On the terrace, Roger stepped quietly back into the drawing room, leaving them to themselves, a secretive grin, on his face.
/
The doors of the Old House swung open, and Julia began to walk through the doors of what would now be her new home. But Barnabas grabbed her arm, and she looked back, curiously.
"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," he said.
"Why not?"
"Because...I wouldn't be able to do this," he said picking her up, and carrying her over the threshold. She laughed delighted by his gesture, and draped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek.
He gently lowered her to the floor, and drew her close to him, kissing her ardently. The solution that Julia had made the pervious night had done its job. He'd had no hint of his hunger, except for the first brief minutes, when she'd first entered the drawing room at Collinwood.
He drew back, and held her hands in his, caressing the palms with his thumbs. "Are you happy, Julia?" he asked.
"More than I ever thought possible, Barnabas."
He looked over her shoulder, towards the window. "It'll be dawn, soon," he commented, a reluctance to leave her, suddenly overwhelming him. He looked down at her sadly. "This isn't exactly the kind of wedding night I had in mind."
"Right now, I have everything that I need," she said, moving deeper into his embrace. "Your love."
"That you will always have," he vowed, and kissed her deeply.
He moved back quickly, a look of bewilderment on his face.
"Barnabas?" she asked an inexplicable feeling of dread washing over her. "What is it?"
"I-I don't know," he said, fearfully, flexing his hand. "M-my arm has gone numb." He looked at her, genuinely afraid as pain stabbed at his heart. "Julia!" he croaked, before collapsing to the floor at her feet.