Title: Sometimes it's about more than the obvious. SLASH Gibbs/Tony
Summary: Gibbs disappears after Mike's funeral and no one can find him. That is until Tony receives a strange letter that explains there may be more than one reason Gibbs disappeared.
Feedback: Always welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much to everyone that left feedback on the first chapter. As always, I am overwhelmed and appreciative of all feedback on the first chapter. Thanks so much. I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter.
Author's notes: As happens a lot with me, I have not had this edited/beta'ed. As always I have tried my best to catch the mistakes, but they do get by sometimes.
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So the final question is, do you love him enough to go to him and get him through this? Even if it means taking a mental beating to get to the love.
Tony threw the letter down, tossed his head back on the couch and blew out a long breath. Did he love Gibbs enough? That was a stupid question. He'd loved the man for so long he couldn't remember a time when he didn't. There just seemed to be an instant attraction, Tony had felt it the first time they met in Baltimore. The way Gibbs leered down his body when he tackled Gibbs to the ground. His jeans had gotten uncomfortably tight and he had stayed straddling Gibbs' body longer than necessary. When he finally let Gibbs up, he had to keep pulling his jacket together over his crotch to hide his hard on. Still, he had the feeling Gibbs knew exactly what he was trying to hide. That was why when Gibbs called him, asked him to come see him at NCIS, he showed up. And he made sure to show up looking hot in his tight jeans, black t-shirt, and leather jacket. He actually believed Gibbs had asked him there because Gibbs wanted him. And he wanted Gibbs. Wanted Gibbs to just pull him into a conference room, a closet, hell the bathroom, and just take him. Didn't matter that he was engaged, he wanted Gibbs, would have walked away from it all to have him.
Never once did he imagine Gibbs had called him there for a job. He was shocked, surprised and completely disappointed when Gibbs pointed towards the human resources door, then walked away. He really believed that over time the feelings would fade, but it only got worse as they worked together and became friends. So did he love Gibbs enough to get him through this, absolutely.
"Just one problem Mike." Tony sighed. "I have no fucking idea where Gibbs is."
Gibbs knew how to go off grid, knew everything they would try to find him. How do you find a federal investigator when he doesn't want to be found? He'd been racking his brain about that for days. Maybe Mike would help with that too. Tony picked the letter back up.
I'm sure he's already taken off, probably disappeared right after my funeral, and you've tried everything you could think of to track him down. I can tell you he's one of two places. I left a house in D.C. for Leyla and Amira, told them to stay close to Probie for a while until Leyla decided where she wanted to go. He might be there, helping them get settled. If he's not there, then he's on the boat I left for him. Yeah, a big old sailboat. The address of the house and the name and address of the Marina are at the end of this letter. Start at the house, I'll guarantee he's at least been there.
Now get your ass in gear and go.
Tony stood up and grabbed his car keys from the table, he was just about to head to the door when he stopped. He looked down at himself realizing he was in just boxers. Getting dressed would be a good idea! Lifting his arm, he smelled his arm pit and made a disgusted face. Shower, then clothes!
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Tony pulled up to the house, about an hour later, surprised to see Leyla and Amira sitting on the porch swing.
"Tony." Leyla smiled as he came walking up the steps to the house
"Hi." Tony nodded, then smiled at Amira. "Hi Amira."
She smiled and waved, curling up closer to her mother.
"He left days ago." Leyla sighed.
Tony cocked his head, eyebrow raised.
"I tried to get him to stay."
Tony nodded.
"He made sure the house was secure, that we had everything we needed." She paused looking down at her daughter. "Played with Amira for a while. Then left."
"Did he give you any way to reach him?" Tony asked.
She shook her head. "He said to call you if we needed anything."
Tony chuckled. "Of course he did."
"But he said he would check in with me next week."
"Okay." Tony sighed. "And I know this is a stupid question but he didn't tell you where he was going did he?"
"No, but you already know." She smiled. "You received Mike's letter."
"You know about that?"
"Yes." She nodded.
"So you think he's on the boat?"
"Probably. He believes no one knows about it." She stood up. "It would make sense to hide there."
"How was he...when he left?" Tony asked, the concern and worry evident in his voice.
"Tired, close to shutting down, still not dealing with it." She touched his cheek. "Needing someone."
The touch made it clear she knew everything Mike had talked about in the letter.
"I just hope he'll let me be that someone."
"He will." She smiled, pulling her hand away. "You are the only one he will let help him, whether he admits it or not."
Another nod. "You two okay?"
"We will be."
"You know, you can always-"
"I know." She smiled. "And thank you."
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Pulling up to the Marina, Tony stopped the car, looking around, only a few boats were docked. It was a beautiful day, a great day to be out on the water. Climbing out of the car, he grabbed the duffel bag and paper bag from the backseat, then locked the doors. No reason to look for Gibbs' car, Tony already knew the car and truck were still parked at the house.
He made his way down the pier glancing at the numbers as he passed the mostly empty docks. He stopped when he reached number eleven, surprised the boat was actually there. The boat looked empty, but then Gibbs could be down in the cabin. Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves. He dropped the bags over the side of the boat, then climbed aboard.
Leaving the bags where they were, Tony made his way down the stairs into the hull cabin. He froze as soon as he stepped inside. The cabin was lit only by the light coming through a few portholes on either side of the cabin and the sunlight streaming in behind Tony. Gibbs was leaning against the side of the bed, knees bent up, head tossed back. He was still wearing the suit he'd had on at the funeral, a funeral that had taken place days ago. His tie had been removed and the first few buttons on his shirt were undone. Although his eyes were closed, Tony knew he was awake. His breathing was too erratic, his face in a scowl as if in physical pain.
"Get out." The voice was eerily calm.
Taking a few steps closer, Tony stopped when Gibbs' eyes opened.
"I said get out." Still the voice was calm.
Tony took another few steps, stopping when he was standing right beside the older man.
"Don't make me say it again." Although still calm, the voice now contained that commanding tone.
"You can say it all you want." Tony paused. "I'm not leaving."
Gibbs' eyes closed again. "I don't want you here."
"I didn't ask what you wanted."
Lifting his head up, Gibbs glared up at the man standing beside him.
"Glare all you want. I'm staying." Tony walked back out of the cabin, returning with the bags in his hands. He put the paper bag down on the table in the small kitchen area, then tossed the duffel bag on the end of the bed.
Gibbs watched the younger man as he started pulling food from the bag and sticking it in the fridge or on the counter. Then he reached into the duffel bag and pulled out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Looking around the cabin, Tony's eyes stopped on a small bathroom
Finally, Tony walked over in front of Gibbs then dropped down to his knees staring at the man before him.
"You need a shower." Tony paused. "And clean clothes."
Gibbs' eyes narrowed, staring at Tony as if he had just spoken a foreign language.
"Don't make me say it." Tony sighed.
Silence.
"Boss you stink." Tony smirked. "And sooner or later the flies are gonna start circling."
Gibbs' eyes narrowed further.
"I'll do it." Tony smiled.
Still nothing.
"Okay." Tony's hands reached out touching a button on Gibbs' shirt and slipped it from its position. Then he unbuttoned the next one and the next.
As Tony was about to reach the fourth one, Gibbs grabbed Tony's wrists, pulling them away and holding them together in front of his body.
Tony swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat but didn't try and pull away.
"Please Gibbs." Tony sighed. "I just want you to get a shower and put on some clean clothes."
"Then will you leave me alone?" Gibbs asked still in that hinky calm voice.
"No." Tony shook his head.
"I don't want you here." Gibbs' jaw was clenched as he spoke.
"Too damn bad." Tony's eyes refused to look away from Gibbs. "Now get up and get in the shower or I will undress and throw you in myself."
Gibbs released Tony's wrist, pushing them away.
Standing up, Tony extended his hand offering it to Gibbs.
Gibbs rolled his eyes and stood up, ignoring Tony's offer of help. Grabbing the clothes from the bed, he pushed past Tony and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him.
A few minutes later Tony heard the water running and he finally let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Food, that was next. He pulled out a container of Chinese he'd picked up on the way, opened it and placed it in the microwave. Chinese food was always the easiest and most likely way to get Gibbs to eat. He put a pair of chopsticks on the table and waited for the microwave to beep.
Before that happened, he heard the bathroom door open and turned around. Gibbs walked out, his hair still wet, he had put the sweats on but the t-shirt was flung over his shoulder.
Tony forced himself not to lick his lips as he stared at Gibbs bare chest for a moment then jerked his eyes up staring into the familiar steely blue eyes.
"Food. Chinese." Tony said just as the microwave beeped.
"I'm not hungry." Gibbs replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Again. Didn't ask." Tony pulled the container from the microwave, stuck the chop sticks in the food and walked over shoving the carton towards Gibbs' face.
Gibbs looked up at Tony.
"Eat." Tony commanded. "Unless you want me to force feed you."
Staring at Tony a moment, Gibbs seemed to be deciding if Tony really would do what he said.
"I will force you down on this bed and shove food down your throat if I have to." Tony glared, not realizing how the statement sounded.
Gibbs snatched the carton from Tony's hand and stared down into it.
"I said eat it, not stare at it." Tony rolled his eyes before walking over and dropping down on the bench like a couch built into the wall of the hull.
Finally, Gibbs took the chop sticks and stuck a bite full into his mouth. After the first taste, the hunger took over and within minutes the carton was empty.
"Do you want some more?" Tony asked suddenly in front of Gibbs again, taking the empty carton from his hands.
"No." Gibbs shook his head.
Throwing away the carton, Tony again appeared by Gibbs. "Here."
Gibbs eyebrow went up as he looked at the bottle of water Tony held out to him.
"You haven't had anything in days." Tony chuckled. "Coffee comes tomorrow. You need to hydrate first."
"Coffee hydrates." Gibbs said, grabbing the water from Tony.
"Yeah right."
Gibbs took a drink of water and put the bottle on the floor next to the bed. "Stop staring at me."
"Get some sleep." Tony again spoke it as a command turning to walk away. He felt the hand on his forearm, the grip tight and it forced him to turn around.
"Tony." Gibbs paused. "I don't want you here."
"Yeah I get that." Tony sighed.
"Please." Gibbs' eyes begged. "Leave."
"No."
Gibbs was immediately on his feet, nose to nose with Tony, staring down the younger man.
"I asked you nicely." Gibbs' jaw clenched. "Don't make me throw you overboard."
Tony glared back at Gibbs. "I'd like to see you try."
They stood there, locked in a stare. Normally, Tony would have already backed down, but he stood his ground.
"You're not the boss here." Tony's eyes softened slightly. "So you have two choices."
Gibbs' eyes narrowed.
"Lay down and try to get some sleep." Tony's eyebrow went up. "Or try and pick my ass up, carry me onto the deck and throw me over the side."
"Or a third." Gibbs added. "I knock you out and drag your ass onto the deck and throw you onto the pier."
"Go ahead." Tony shrugged.
Gibbs searched Tony's face, again trying to decide just what the younger man might do.
"Not worth my time." Gibbs scoffed, dropping back down onto the side of the bed.
"Then get some sleep." Tony walked back over to the bench and laid down, closing his eyes.
Accepting the fact that Tony was not going to leave at this point, Gibbs laid down onto the bed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Tony shouldn't be here, the younger man was in no way prepared to deal with how this would play out. Gibbs knew the stages of dealing with loss, and had been through them before. He was long past denial and bargaining, knee deep in anger and depression with acceptance far off on the horizon. And he knew how the anger and depression affected him, knew there would be no way to contain it. With Shannon and Kelly he had an outlet for the anger, a sniper rifle and a target. With this, the target was gone, but it had been an empty hollow finale, completely unsatisfying.
The anger would come, demand retribution, and he didn't want Tony here for that. Because when it happened there would be no way for Gibbs to control it.
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Rolling over, he groaned, his body ached and his head was throbbing. He took a deep breath and inhaled the scent he hadn't smelled in days...coffee. Gibbs opened his eyes, then shot up in bed.
"He didn't!" Gibbs growled, jumping up and running onto the deck. The Marina was gone, they were now surrounded by water. "TONY!" He screamed.
When no reply came he screamed the name again. "TONY!"
"Yeah." Tony came around from the back of the boat, dressed in just a pair of khaki shorts.
"What the hell are you doing?" Gibbs barked.
"Sailing."
"How the hell do you know how to sail?"
"Come on!" Tony grinned. "Ten years watching you build boats. I did my homework."
Gibbs clenched his teeth. "Good then turn the fucking boat around and take us back."
"Can't do that." Tony said, walking by Gibbs and back down into the cabin.
It took a few minutes but Gibbs finally followed. Tony was sitting at the small kitchen table, coffee in hand, another mug sitting across from him.
"Coffee." Tony nodded towards the mug.
"This isn't gonna work."
"What?" Tony chuckled. "Coffee?"
"This. The commanding, caring Tony act." Gibbs shook his head. "Sailing out to the middle of nowhere to force me to deal with everything."
Tony put his coffee down and stood up. "First off, it's not an act. I actually care about you. Whether you like it or not.
Gibbs just stared at the younger man.
"And secondly, no one forces you to do anything."
"Glad you understand that."
"I just wanted to go for a sail." Tony shrugged. "That's all. Maybe take a swim."
Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"Now drink your damn coffee." Tony smirked.
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Gibbs had been laying on the bed staring up at the top of the hull since after lunch. A lunch that Tony suggested he sit at the table and eat. Shortly after he had laid down, Tony had disappeared up to the deck and Gibbs hadn't seen him in hours. Part of him wanted to go see what Tony could possibly be doing, but the anger and stubbornness inside him refused to let him get off the bed.
"God the water is perfect!" Tony smiled entering the cabin, a towel wrapped around his waist, clothes in hand.
Sitting up on his elbows, Gibbs eyes skimmed down Tony's body realizing there was nothing under the towel.
"You should take a swim. Might relax you, help you sleep tonight." Tony walked towards the bathroom, pushing the door part way closed as he dressed. "You barely slept last night."
Gibbs sat up on the edge of the bed, staring at the bathroom door as Tony emerged.
Tony grinned. "You do look much more human today. Your color is better."
As usual, Gibbs didn't answer, but he stood up.
Making his way over, Tony stopped before Gibbs. "I'll make some more coffee."
Grabbing Tony by both arms, Gibbs jerked him forward. "How did you find me?"
"I'm an investigator." Tony's eyes danced across Gibbs' face. "A well trained investigator. Trained by the best actually."
"No." Gibbs shook his head. "No one knew about this boat. I just found out a few days ago." He shook Tony. "How?"
Tony cleared his throat. "After looking everywhere for you...I checked Mike's finances and the house and boat came up."
"The boat and house aren't in Mike's name."
"I know." Tony paused. "There in Leyla's, the boat went into your name, when Mike died."
Gibbs' steel blue eyes searched Tony's for a moment, surprised and impressed at Tony's investigative work. "Who else knows?"
"No one." Tony moistened his dry lips. "I did everything myself."
"Leyla and Amira?"
"I saw them yesterday."
"They're okay?" It was the first concern and caring tone Tony had heard in Gibbs 'voice.
Tony nodded.
"You shouldn't have come." Gibbs growled, shoving Tony away.
Tony stumbled back a few steps.
"Tomorrow morning, we go back." Gibbs' body shook as he fought down the anger. "And you get off this boat."
"No." Tony snapped.
"Yes." Gibbs snarled. "And that's an order."
"And I already told you, this isn't work, you can't order me around."
"I can and I will." Gibbs pointed at Tony, his heart racing, the anger raging through his veins.. "My boat, my rules, and I want you gone."
"Fine, then you can sail us back tomorrow." Tony folded his arms across his chest. "And throw me off like you threatened yesterday."
"Fine." Gibbs barked storming up and out of the cabin.
Making his way onto the deck, he stood clutching the railing, his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip. Taking a deep breath, Gibbs pushed the anger down deeper, burying it further into the pit of his stomach. His pulse still raced, his heart thumping angrily against his chest, his blood surging through his veins filled with fire. He wasn't going to be able to hold it together much longer, it was too much. He needed Tony off this boat, needed Tony as far away from him as possible.
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An hour later, Gibbs came back down into the cabin, Tony was laying on the bench wrapped in a blanket asleep. His mouth slightly open, his breathing low and heavy. Involuntarily, Gibbs' hand gently brushed over Tony's cheek. Tony sighed and seemed to lean into the touch as he moaned. "Jethro."
Gibbs quickly pulled his hand away.
Another sigh and Tony settled again.
A puzzled look crossed Gibbs' face as he gazed down at Tony. Why did Tony say his name like that? It was full of lust and longing. Gibbs shook his head clearing the unimaginable thoughts from his head. He pulled off his t-shirt and climbed into bed. Closing his eyes, he prayed for sleep to take him, prayed that he would wake up and Tony would be gone.