Title: Sometimes it's about more than the obvious. SLASH Gibbs/Tony
Chapter 3
Summary: Gibbs disappears after Mike's funeral and no one can find him. That is until Tony receives a strange letter that explains there may be more than one reason Gibbs disappeared.
Feedback: Always welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much to everyone that left feedback on the first two chapters. Two more chapters left after this one! And I promise...this story is rated M for a reason...LOL.
Author's notes: As happens a lot with me, I have not had this edited/beta'ed. As always I have tried my best to catch the mistakes, but they do get by sometimes.
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Tony was startled awake by the groans and cries of the word no. Jumping up, he turned on the light next to him, running over to the bed. Gibbs was thrashing uncontrollably, his body drenched in sweat.
"Gibbs wake up." Tony's voice was calm, but raised slightly as he tried to grab Gibbs' arms unsuccessfully. "Gibbs!"
With superhuman strength, Gibbs seized Tony by the waist and tossed him down onto the bed.
Completely caught off guard, Tony felt the air rush out of his lungs, as Gibbs' hands pinned his hips down against the bed, Gibbs' body pressed down against his.
Planting both hands flat on Gibbs' bare chest, Tony tried to push Gibbs back, but it didn't work. Instead Gibbs' finger tips dug in harder to Tony's hips. Tony couldn't help it, a low moan escaped his lips, a moan that was a strange mixture of pleasure and pain.
Forcing himself to take a deep breath, Tony yelled. "WAKE UP!"
At first Tony thought the loud shout had reached Gibbs, his grip loosened slightly, but then Gibbs rolled, putting them both on their side and crushing their bodies together.
Tony's eyes closed, his body and mind struggling with the confusing mix of wanting to stop this and wanting to let it continue. He grabbed Gibbs' face with both hands. "DAMN IT GIBBS WAKE UP!"
Gibbs' eyes shot open and his gaze locked on Tony. A sudden look of bewilderment covering his face.
"Nightmare!" Tony said, staring back into those steely blue eyes.
"What?" Gibbs scowled.
"You were." Tony tried to catch his breath. "Having a nightmare or something."
The images from the haunting dream he had been having flashed across his mind. "Yeah."
"Are you okay?" Tony asked as he tried to quiet his drumming heart.
Gibbs suddenly realized the position they were in. His hands grasping at Tony's hips clamping their groins against each other. His sweat covered body plastered against the younger man. If anyone would have walked in right now, they would have assumed only one thing about this situation.
Forcing himself to let Tony go, Gibbs balled his hands into fists and dropped back down onto the bed.
"Gibbs?" Tony sat up. "You okay?"
Gibbs somehow managed to nod.
"Are you sure?" Tony asked his body still alive with the struggle that had just taken place.
"Yeah." Gibbs nodded again.
"I'll get you a towel." Tony moved, putting an arm and leg over Gibbs prone body to crawl out of the bed.
Touching Tony's arm, Gibbs shook his head. "No."
"You're soaking wet." Tony sighed, his body hovering precariously over Gibbs.
Gibbs glanced down, again realizing the rather sexual position they were in. Tony's hands on either side of his body, Tony's legs straddling his hips. Shaking his head, Gibbs tried to shake the image from his mind. It didn't work; he'd had too many dreams about Tony on all fours to make it go away.
"Go." Gibbs sighed, his hands now clutching at the bed sheets.
Instantly, Tony jumped off the bed running to the bathroom and grabbing a towel. Returning he started gently running the towel over Gibbs' chest.
"Stop." Gibbs growled, grasping Tony's wrist.
"Sorry." Tony jerked his hand from Gibbs' grasp and stepped back.
Gibbs ran the towel down his face, then down his arms and chest before tossing it down on the bed next to him.
"I'm fine." Gibbs tried to say it calmly hoping to convince Tony that it was the truth.
"You're not but we don't need to talk about that right now." Tony said just as calmly, but making sure Gibbs knew he didn't believe the words he had just spoken. "You need to sleep."
Gibbs' only response was to look up at Tony.
Reaching out, wanting to touch Gibbs and comfort him in some way, Tony's fingers almost touched Gibbs' hair, but again Gibbs' hand grabbed Tony's wrist.
"Don't touch me." Gibbs sighed breathlessly. "Don't ever touch me." He released Tony's wrist and rolled over away from the younger man.
Tony just stood there a moment, staring at Gibbs' back, the sweat beads still glistening on the taunt skin. This whole situation had been nothing like he expected. Sure Gibbs was angry, but it had been a calmer anger than he expected. He was expecting Gibbs to punch the wall, throw and break things. Actually he was fully prepared for Gibbs to try to carry him up the steps and throw him overboard. And after the amazing strength Gibbs had shown tonight, Tony now believed if Gibbs wanted to, he would do it. Something within Gibbs was still restraining the anger, holding it back from having its full retribution. Part of Tony was thankful for Gibbs' restraint, but the larger part of him knew Gibbs needed the eruption, needed that release to regain his control over all of this. And like it or not, Tony knew the complete devastation of Gibbs' anger was yet to come and all of it would be directed at him.
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For the second time, Tony startled awake, this time by the feel of the boat in motion. He jumped up, his eyes falling on the empty bed.
"Damn it." Tony groaned as he ran up onto the deck. The sails of the boat were completely unfurled, waving back and forth in the strong wind that now drove them back towards the Marina. Gibbs was at the tiller steering the boat back the path they had traveled two days ago. "Gibbs stop."
Tony was suddenly beside the older man trying to pry his hand off the tiller.
"Let go." Gibbs barked. "We're going back and you are getting off this fucking boat."
"NO!" Tony shouted as he finally managed to remove Gibbs' fingers from the tiller.
"Get back inside the damn cabin!" Gibbs stood up, getting in Tony's face and shouting back.
"No!" Tony shouted again.
Gibbs' eyes narrowed as his hands landed hard against Tony's chest. The intense force of the blow caused Tony to lose his balance and stumble backwards. Unable to regain his equilibrium, Tony fell. The back of his legs touching the side of the boat before he toppled over the side, plunging into the cold water.
All Gibbs could do was stand there and watch it happen. It seemed to be in slow motion like some scene from a movie Tony would have watched. It wasn't until he heard the splash and saw the water spray up in large drops and rain down that he ran to the side. Looking down into the water, he waited for Tony to resurface. It seemed like minutes passed and still Tony didn't come up.
"TONY!" Gibbs yelled before diving overboard into the water. His body shivered at the overwhelming cold and it took him a moment for his mind to orient itself to the water surrounding him. Then it hit him. The memory of seeing someone dive into the water, the realization it was Tony, as his agent struggled to free him from behind the steering wheel of the car. He had demanded Tony leave him and help Maddie. She was the one that deserved to live, not him. Tony had done it with a desperate look of sadness on his face, but with complete understanding.
He had expected to die that day, welcomed it, wanted nothing more than to be with the people he loved and mourned every day. He had stopped struggling to free himself and just let it happen, let himself drift off to sleep as his body could no longer remain conscious without air. But Tony had saved him, how, he had no idea. All he remembered was Kelly telling him to go back and waking up to Tony doing CPR on Maddie. Never once had he talked to Tony about that day, never thanked him or acknowledged the fact that Tony had risked his own life to save his.
Gibbs saw the legs next to him and looked up seeing Tony's body treading water and his head above the surface. Propelling himself straight up, Gibbs broke through the water, coming up beside Tony.
"Tony." Gibbs said as he fought to catch his breath.
"Yeah, I'm okay." Tony coughed.
Adjusting to the light again, Gibbs stared at Tony. "You're not alright."
"I am."
"Tony." Gibbs' hand brushed across Tony's forehead and Tony recoiled in pain. "You cut your forehead."
"It'll be okay." Tony sighed.
"Let me see." Gibbs wrapped one arm around Tony's waist, the other gently touching the area around the wound. Inspecting the cut, Gibbs finally nodded. "It's not bad but we need to get it cleaned up."
"Okay." Tony shivered, praying Gibbs would believe he was shivering from the cold and not his touch.
Maintaining his grip on Tony's waist, Gibbs dragged them through the water to the side of the boat.
"Grab the side." Gibbs said, placing Tony's body against the hull. "Can you pull yourself up?"
"I got it." Tony sighed using what little strength he had left to propel himself up and roll into the boat.
Gibbs followed a few seconds later, dropping into the boat, and jumping to his feet. "We need to get you out of those wet clothes and clean that cut up."
He grabbed Tony's hands, helping him to his feet then leading him back down into the cabin.
"Are your clothes in the duffel?"
"I can get them." Tony said rummaging through the duffel bag and pulling out some shorts and a tee.
"Take a hot shower, warm up."
"No." Tony shook his head. "Just need to change and dry off."
"Okay." Gibbs nodded.
"You need to change too."
"I will."
Tony slipped into the bathroom. "Here." He held out a towel to Gibbs.
Gibbs accepted the towel watching as Tony closed the door. Get a fucking grip! Gibbs yelled at himself. He pulled the wet t-shirt over his head and tossed it into the sink, his pants meeting the same fate. Then he quickly dried off and dug through the bag checking to see what else Tony had brought for him. He found another pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, he dressed and then felt the boat jerk. "Shit." He ran back topside.
Without him steering the tiller, the wind had carried the boat in a circle and was taking them back out away from the Marine. He grabbed the tiller and pointed the bow of the boat into the wind, then he ran to the sail and tugged on the halyard drawing the main sail back down to the boom. Tying the sail to the boom, Gibbs finally took a breath as the boat started to slow no longer under the wind's control.
Walking back down into the cabin, Tony was coming out of the bathroom.
"What's wrong?" The concern flashed across Tony's face.
"Nothing, I got it." Gibbs shook his head as he approached Tony, touching his forehead by the cut. "Sit."
Tony felt the strong hands press him down onto the bench. Gibbs disappeared into the bathroom returning with a first aid kit. He searched in the kit for a moment then looked up.
"Turn towards me." Gibbs said even as his hand touched Tony's chin positioning Tony's face directly towards him. "This is gonna sting."
"Son of a bitch!" Tony yelled, jerking his head away from the swab in Gibbs' hand.
Gibbs rolled his eyes and tightened his grip underneath Tony's chin. "Hold still!"
Slamming his eyes closed, Tony's face contorted as Gibbs cleaned and bandaged the cut. After several minutes Gibbs finally spoke again.
"Done." Closing the kit, Gibbs took it back into the bathroom.
"Damn that stung."
"I got that." Gibbs shook his head standing by the bench.
"I'd say thanks, but since you're the reason I have this huge gash on my forehead I think I'll skip that." Tony stood up, glaring at Gibbs. "You really want me away from you that badly?"
"Yes." Gibbs' hands balled into tight fists at his side.
Tony folded his arms across his chest. "Afraid you'll hit me?"
Gibbs shook his head.
"Then let me help." Tony sighed.
Gently, so gently, Gibbs placed his hand on Tony's neck, it was actually sensual at first, until Gibbs grip tightened and he slammed Tony full force against the wall.
"You can't be here for this." Gibbs growled through clenched teeth. "Please."
Tony's body shivered as the fear seeped in. Gibbs pupils were dilated, his jaw set, even the please sounded animalistic and devoid of it's true meaning.
"We can't survive this." Gibbs roared. "And I won't lose you, not like this."
"You won't lose me." It was a whisper, spoken through the fear.
"Yes I will." The anger boiled and Gibbs wrestled with it trying desperately to cage it yet again. "I'll lose control...you'll hate me for it."
"I could never hate you." Tony sighed, the tension around them thick and sexually charged.
Leaning forward, Gibbs' lips pressed against Tony's ear. "Trust the fear and get as far away from me as possible."
"No."
Drawing back, Gibbs eyes fixed on Tony's, their eyes locked as each fought an internal battle. Gibbs the hunter battling with the desire to devour the easy prey before him or releasing him and continuing the chase. Tony the prey battling between fleeing, saving himself or willingly accepting his fate.
Gibbs set his jaw. "You won't like what happens if I lose control with you here."
Tony's eyes danced across Gibbs' face. "Why don't you let me decide that."
"You have no clue." An evil smirk spread across Gibbs' lips as he focused on a way to use the anger to push Tony away. "You're just a little boy trying to stand up to a man that's ordered you around for years."
Holding back his own growing anger, Tony pressed his lips tightly together.
Again, Gibbs' lips brushed against Tony's ear. "You have daddy issues." Gibbs let out a long deep breath that caressed Tony's neck and ear causing the younger man to shiver. "But I'm not your daddy."
"I don't want you to be." Tony said, his voice shaking. "And I never thought of you that way."
"You're just like him." Gibbs snickered. "Nothing but a walking punch line, hiding your dysfunction behind jokes, cocky and arrogant, chasing and fucking anything in a skirt over the age of eighteen."
Tony's fingers clawed into his palms, his knuckles white from having his hands balled into tight fists at his side. He could barely breathe as the words struck like a fist to his gut.
"Which one of you fucked Ziva first?" Gibbs asked.
Tony's eyes widened for a moment.
Gibbs grinned. "Did you fuck her, tell your dad how good it was, then he took his turn?"
"Why don't you ask Ziva?" Tony said through gritted teeth. "I'd love to see her drop you on your ass."
"You two are perfect for each other." Gibbs paused. "Both of you have deep daddy issues."
"Funny I always thought you fucked her." Tony leaned forward slightly. "Figured she called you daddy the whole time."
Gibbs glared at Tony, the anger gaining fuel.
"Did Jeanne want a daddy figure too?" Gibbs asked, his head slightly cocked. "No, that was just an assignment that you fucked up by falling in love."
The words landed another blow. Tony had loved Jeanne, in some odd, stupid, irresponsible way. The whole time knowing it was wrong, would never work, but still the loss had hurt, but then Gibbs knew that.
"You can pick em." Gibbs chuckled. "She did turn out to be just like her daddy. Setting you up for murder like a pro. Daddy taught her well. She played you even better than you played her." There was a pause then Gibbs sighed. "But that wasn't even your biggest fuck up was it."
Tony's body shuttered. He knew what was coming, knew Gibbs still blamed him for it, even though he said he didn't.
"Was it Ziva or some other pussy you were chasing when you left Jenny alone to get killed by four gunmen?"
That was the final blow, straight across the jaw, TKO. No one, not even Gibbs regretted that day more than Tony. It still haunted him. He had nightmares about that, woke up in a cold sweat, then drank himself back to sleep. Even though everyone told him it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't to blame, he blamed himself. He should have listened to Ziva, should have taken the assignment seriously, taken his job seriously. But he didn't. It was all about fun in the sun, to hell with everything else. He knew he fucked up, didn't need Gibbs or anyone else to remind him.
"Interesting that Mike was the one that she called for help and not you." Gibbs paused. "She knew who she could rely on and it sure in hell wasn't you."
Tony's eyes closed for a moment as he struggled to fight through the anguish Gibbs' words had caused. Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes again, staring into steely blue.
"Ironic that Mike was the one she thought she could rely and he was out back fucking around when she took those bullets that killer her."
Tony didn't even flinch, as the fist hit the hull next to his head. Gibbs hand stayed there for what seemed like hours as he continued to stare at Tony. When Gibbs finally pulled his hand back he turned and walked out of the cabin. For the longest time Tony just stood there, the fear still holding him in place. Fear that Gibbs would come back and find even more of his fuck ups to beat him around with. Realizing Gibbs wasn't coming back in, Tony slid silently down the wall and to the floor. He tossed his head back as he ran his hands down his face, his entire body trembling from the emotional beating and memories Gibbs assault had stirred up.