Disclaimer: Rowling does not simply walk into Mordor.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
There was a snake in the forest. And the rat had no reason to trust the snake. But he did hope to be recognised, as much as he could hope. There was no wind and the forest was still, and even silent. The rat stepped lightly, carefully, and listened for anything.
There were no dangers.
Yet.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7 .
My first year at Hogwarts was cheerful and care free. The spells were simple, the essays could be written with Remus help and the slytherins evaded with both carefulness and friends. All in all it was a good year. James got in a few fights with Snape, but we helped him with that. Remus was sick a few times, we all visited him when he was in the hospital wing. Sirius got acquainted with McGonagall's office, and we sometimes accompanied him there, mostly James.
I overheard a few curious words from our headmaster, whom I paid no heed to, until late evening when it all suddenly fell into place, and all sleepiness vanished. So, I was sitting in my bed, the last days before the exams, and was thinking. And finally, I decided to act upon it:
"James?"
"Yes?" a sleepy voice answered.
"Could we check on Remus?"
"What?"
"Could you wake Sirius, and could we check on Remus?"
"Why?"
"The headmaster said something about an empty hospital wing to McGonnagal today and..."
I was rudely interrupted by Black:
"And Remus should be there or here, right, let's go check. The cloak?"
"Here."
Getting into the wing was the hard part. We spent an hour on that and failed miserably. Sirius tried the alohomora, James did a spell I forgot the second it did nothing, and Remus wasn't there to help. He would have opened the door, I'm sure of it; he was smarter than me and any one of the other two together.
"It has some kind of alarm in it", Sirius whispered disappointedly, "looks kind of like my father's desk."
James cursed silently.
"Let's go back", I offered.
Sirius nodded. James looked around:
"I'll stay. We go back half of the way, and you return to the common room without the cloak. I will return here and wait for anyone to open the door."
"James?"
"What now?"
"We will stay, you stupid git. Right, Peter?"
I nodded, giving James little choice in the matter.
And wait we did. The most boring hours of my life. I shook James awake twice; Sirius once and they woke me up trice. When the morning came, we were as disappointed as three kids who got almost no sleep could be. But we were rewarded for that. We saw Remus. He was slowly dragging himself supported only by Pomfrey's hand and looking like a mess. His hands were shaking, his eyes darting everywhere. Near the door, when Pomfrey let go of him for a second, to use a password we didn't hear, he almost fell, and swayed sniffing air. His eyes panicked, he looked around, but then Pomfrey dragged him inside and laid him on the first bed on the right. We left, but every one of us thinking different theory. Not a single one of us was right.
Needless to say none of us were very successful in the first exam. Filtwick did not give us any praise and I think even after few days he was still slightly angry at me for that small fire.
In the evening, we did ask Remus about his sickness, and he told that he slept in the hospital wing. Explained that he doesn't remember anything important. And then the nurse said he could go, so he trusted her and listened. We didn't press him further and quickly dropped asleep, even Remus joined us.
We did mention it few times before the express, but Remus dismissed it as unimportant. And we didn't want to estrange him, so we withheld the full confrontation.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
The moon was shining bright, and the forest was alight with silver light. The rat was thankful for that, for otherwise he wouldn't have found an old corpse. The dead body had almost no smell, and was clad in a wizardly fashion. And he had some coins. It was silent still.
The rat climbed onto the man and looked into his face, finding similar bite marks. He shuddered and decided to try again later. He did not wish to deal with all that now, he was too scared.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
My father was not very happy to see me. He had gotten the idea that I should have tried for better marks, called my charms grade a disgrace and was not for a second interested in anything I said. As soon as I started to tell him about meeting Remus Lupin on the train and that I was his friend, he explained to me that he would have liked a friend with a better social standing and that it was a mistake being friends with someone form the Lupin family. Mostly due to its decline in both social and monetary standings.
I got angry with his attitude, thus I never told him about James or Sirius, of which he would have had to approve them both. Noble and rich families and all that. So I kept everything to myself.
It was neither a happy nor a beautiful summer, a few owls with letters from friends and a single quite mysterious line brought by Sirius' owl:
"I know Remus' problem, will talk on the train."
It was quite hard to wait for that, and time runs slow when you are living as a disappointment. I did want to find strength in myself to scream at my father "It is not my fault my mother died!" But I couldn't. So, I waited, waited and waited. Took the summer long enough to pass away.
And after it did, I found myself on the platform, again without my father. This time I was even grateful for that. I started looking for my friends.
"Oh my god, Is that HIM? Peter Pettegrew?"
I turned around to find a smiling Remus.
"You mean the one with the Order of Merlin?" James supplied.
"Shut up", I extended my hand for them both to shake, and looking at James added, "have any of you two seen Sirius?"
"No."
"He's there, talking to his father", Remus slowly inhaled, "looks like a serious conversation."
A loud slap sounded across the platform and after a few seconds Sirius was with us, a red mark on his cheek and eyes glittering with challenge. He forced a smile and shook our hands.
"Let's go and find us a compartment."
We didn't talk about Remus on the train.
Not even during the feast.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
The slithering snake took him only half aware as he was standing near the corpse. He jumped back and rolled up his tattered sleeve and stood back, shivering. The snake stopped and gave him and his mark a stare so long his legs almost didn't hold.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
We were in the corner of the common room, Lupin sound asleep in his bed. The shadows were dancing with the small fire in the fireplace and we three were sitting on the floor, aside from the view. I was watching the entrance, Sirius tended the steps to the girls side, and James gave a glance at the stairs of the boy dormitories each handful of seconds.
"So?" James couldn't wait.
"Did you notice that Remus is sick only when there is a full moon?"
I gasped and put a hand on my mouth. James looked full in thought.
"And, have you ever seen him touch any silver?"
James coughed and shook his head, "and he does seem to hear and smell things better than we do..."
My thoughts were racing at the speed of light. If my father found out one of my best friends was... No, I didn't care about my father. What did that mean to me? Should I stop talking to him? Should I be weary? I never remembered anything the books told about them. What if they were even more dangerous than I heard? I looked at James, hoping to see the answer somehow. James was silent.
"You do agree with me, James?"
"Yes."
"Peter?"
I nodded, letting out a frightened squeak, "he really is a werewolf?"
"I am."
The three of us jumped. James got his wand out. Black gestured for him to lower it. In our 'excitement' we forgot to watch the stairs. I was staring open eyed. Remus was standing weakly, defeat and fear in his face, somewhat similar to mine.
"If you want to, I'll stop being friends with you."
My mouth opened out of surprise. This was a creature I feared? No. I didn't fear Remus. He was a friend. He was no creature. I swore to never look up information on werewolves anywhere. I wanted to say that aloud, but James beat me to it, extending his hand for Remus to shake:
"Only if you can't stand my style anymore, mate?"
"Only if you don't want me to pass my classes?" I offered my hand.
"Only if you don't want to associate yourself with a scion of the blackest family there is, Moony?"
Needles to say Remus was shocked. With three hands extended to him, he did something we weren't expecting. He hugged us. James was the first one to speak.
"Oi, stop it, your werewolf strength..."
"There is no werewolf strength. And what's up with 'moony'?"
"Bloody hell, there isn't. Let me go, and I'll tell you." Black was trying to get away.
When he finally released us, there was a simmer of tears in his eyes. Being boys and all, we didn't even mention it. Ever.
I smiled at him "'Moony' does sound nice."
Sirius put a hand on Remus shoulder "It fits, because you are so absent-minded"
"I'm not..."
"So, what do you have?" James piped in, "There must be some upsides to your..."
Remus supplied. "...furry little problem."
We all laughed at that.
"There isn't much." He was a bit embarrassed, but kept talking, "for example, your secret meeting was too loud providing you wanted to exclude me. And it's even better a few days before the full moon. "
"You heard us all the way up in the dorm?"
"No, I heard you get up and leave."
"Anything else?" James looked very curious.
"Meat tastes really good."
I shuddered.
"Animal meat, not human!" Remus was staring at me.
I nodded, and managed another smile flashing my teeth.
"So, you won't eat Peter one night?"
Sometimes I really hate Sirius Black.
"Not even a bite?"
And James Potter.
"Well..."
And Remus Lupin. A tiny bit.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
The snake slithered north, slowly, but with a scary certainty. He was following, wand in hand, removing branches and bushes which constantly got into his face, hair and clothes. His bruises were beyond count, and he was always weary of the snake. Finally, the snake led him to a small clearing. He wanted to live. His worthless life.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
Lupin was having his 'furry little problem', and all three of us weren't sleeping. We couldn't, knowing the pain he was in was immense. I said us much.
"It must be horrible, to spend the night alone, in pain..."
"Peter, you are a genius!"
Sirius looked at Potter, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't see it."
"There must be a way for us to be with him. To show our support."
"What?" a thought of spending the night with a werewolf was too scary for me to even consider. But somehow those two did. And I knew I couldn't back up without being teased forever. So, I asked the question, which I regretted the second it got out – "How?"
"No idea, but let's find out." James took out his Cloak, and got up – "To the library."
Black groaned.
The library was silent. It always is, even in the middle of the night. Black, albeit reluctantly, was leading the search. I was trying to ignore any open books, and was holding the light so that it partially blinded me. It was my conviction to never to study werewolves so I didn't.
"Look, here – seeks humans in preference to any other prey. What now?"
I really didn't need to know that.
James scratched his head. "Is there anything they wouldn't? Or, say a shampoo you could wash your hair with to smell like a wolf, or something else?"
"You could let him bite you. It would help turning into the wolf quite easily."
"That's it!" James looked ecstatic, "Like McGonagall."
I almost dropped the lantern, "You thing McGonagall is a...?"
"No, look, turning into something else and McGonagall. Does that give you an idea?"
Sirius eyes suddenly shone with delight, "A great, illegal idea. Let's look there" and he pointed at the forbidden section.
"I don't get it."
"Peter, Peter, Peter, do you even listen during your transfiguration lessons?"
"Sometimes?"
"Animagi", James breathed.
In my defence, they were only mentioned. Briefly. You couldn't expect to remember anything, except if you were Remus. Or had James' talent for transfiguration.
"It looks complicated" Sirius was already reading the messy dark book on transfiguration, "and this doesn't look like it goes into details."
"Won't it be dangerous?"
"Peter, look, don't be afraid, we will be there for you."
"Yeah," James was leaning towards the rusty pages in Sirius' hand "look, here, it's about becoming an animal. Not appearing to be, but truly becoming one. And werewolves never hunt other animals. I think."
Sirius smirked at me "see, harmless and safe. You in?"
"Alright."
Why did it feel like we could pull it off? I checked with myself. This was not finding out about werewolves. It was kind of separate. I could probably be learning that. Even if it was loads of work. And being near a transformed one was so far away I decided to leave that problem for the future.
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
The clearing was not as empty as he would have liked.
"Welcome..."
He twitched and let out a squeak as if in pain.
"Wormtail..."
~~(_^7 ~~(_^7
Lupin was curiously looking at the little box we had, "what is that?"
"Nothing"
Moony ignored my muttering, and turned to James. James was as silent as he could be. Sirius nicked the box from me and hid it under his bed.
"You'd better not be thinking a new prank already. McGonagall is still furious about the one with slytherins' hair last week."
James chuckled "Admit it, you liked every second of it."
"And the green letters Slytherins' Hair is coming, were a nice touch, Moony."
"It was your stupid idea of a joke, Sirius. And don't think I didn't see you hide the box."
"What box?" I tried.
Lupin rolled his eyes. I chuckled.
"Fine. I give up. Just don't make McGonagall kill you. Or call me for the fun. Look, I'm going to revise something down in the common room, if you need me."
After that he left. I felt somewhat bad, and voiced it out loud.
"Do you think we hurt him?"
"It will be alright. If Slughorn doesn't notice he's missing something."
"Do you think we will make it?" I wasn't finished with my doubts.
"It's just another week. Look, we will prepare the bits we have, you go talk with Lupin. It will work out."
After running into a prefect and almost falling from the stairs, I ended up in the common room.
"Moony?"
He raised his head from the DADA book.
"Look, I..." I sat down near him and tried again. "Look, we are trying something. It will not get us in the trouble with McGonagall if you are afraid of that. And we will tell you. Just... a bit later."
He smiled, "Peter, it's nice of you, but you can have your secrets, I don't mind."
"I do. Look, I promised them to keep you in the dark, but if by any chance you find yourself in the third floor corridor, on the next Tuesday night, say, a few minutes before nine in the evening, and just happen to overhear us telling a certain statue of the one-eyed witch a password, I would be powerless to stop you."
"You don't have to do this."
"I never told you must come. And remember, you must hold your wand on the statue for it to work."
"Don't you think James and Sirius will be angry?"
"I'll handle James. Sirius would be delighted."
The week dragged on. We all were waiting for it. The potion was almost ready. I was the one tasked with stirring it seven times each morning, and James and Sirius didn't let me forget that. I think Remus overheard us once, but he just winked to me and ignored James' worried glance to his direction. So, finally we were standing near the statue in question under the cloak. I couldn't see nor hear Remus, but I figured he was there. I felt it. Sirius did the honours:
"Dissendium."
The corridor opened and after a small slide we found ourselves our little potions lab. The corridor was not roomy, but we had to make do. Other places where not as safe. Remus didn't follow. Perhaps he had changed his mind. We circled the cauldron, checking the last steps. The potion looked right. We poured it into three glasses in our hands. It was warm, and it smelled faintly of rotten eggs.
"Who wants to go first?"
"Why do you have to be so scared, Peter? We are just brewing an illegal potion after curfew."
James didn't listen and gulped his dose in one go.
"Chike.." he managed, before slumping on the ground. His eyes went white, and his body shook a little. We waited, ready to act if something went wrong. Black had nicked the last bezoar Slughorn had earlier today. We hoped we wouldn't have to use it. Horace would miss it in a few days.
After a minute we were hardly keeping our nerves intact. After two, James started breathing as if he was running somewhere. After three, his eyes opened and he jumped, looking around and apparently not understanding where he was. It took him ten long seconds to regain his composure. And then, he shouted almost at the top of his lungs:
"I'm a stag!"
"Shh!" Black hissed "good for you, mister pride, but we would too like a try before a stray professor finds us."
"But I'm a stag."
"And at first you said you were a chicken... You are so loud they can hear you in Hogsmeade. Now shut up, it should be my..."
I did the foolish thing and drank the dose as they were talking. I could swear I heard somebody with Remus' voice say the password to the witch, but I might have been mistaken. I plunged into nothingness.
It was a strange experience. Being a rat. Perhaps I should have felt some disappointment; perhaps I should have been observing myself more closely, but after a first few seconds I fully lost myself to the rat. Hell, I was a rat! And it's not as anyone could imagine. The whiskers, the tail, the hair, all was and felt natural. I had incredibly strong teeth and was running through a damp corridor, taking in the smells, tastes and thoughts. The thoughts were a lot simpler. Hunger. Fear. Elation. There was no need to worry, no need to think about any problems I had. The corridor smelled of a hiding place. I was running at full speed, water splashing to the sides. I found the exit, and entered the old, dark forest. It was foggy and my Fear leaped at me. I sniffed the air, let out a horrified squeak and turned around to find refuge in the tunnel. Some kind of argument was sounding like thunder inside. There wasn't before. I didn't recognise any words. I stopped and tried to decide which way was the right one or if I could just hide here somewhere.
When I was yanked back to reality it took me a few seconds to sort myself.
"I'm a rat."
"Did you have a tail?"
I blinked at Remus.
"Did it look like a worm?"
I turned to see a cheerful Sirius.
"You were squeaking, Wormtail. And you did rat us out to Moony."
I opened my mouth, closed it and opened it again. James was slightly angry.
"Wormtail?" I squeaked, "What?"
Sirius was drinking his dose and ignoring me.
James grinned and nodded:
"Welcome..."
Remus smiled and patted me on the back:
"Wormtail..."