Me: I copied the whole thing to google translate to Russia, then I translated the Russian text back to English. I just added the stuff that sounded funny in the translation to my story, so it should still make some sense. I might do it for other chapters too, since it's pretty fun. XD

Early in the morning, when the sun was just rising and the birds filled the air, Goku has grown out of bed and yawns. He smiled to himself and looked at the still sleeping wife, whose back was to him. ChiChi had died in her sleep last night, but that's not important. What's important is that the chances of Vegeta getting with Goku have raised now, so screw her!

Goku shook the arm of a dead wife. "Chichi..." he whispered lovingly to her corpse, "time to wake up and get in the kitchen~" When she didn't respond, the hungry Saiyan frowned, disappointed, knowing he'd have to wait before he gets to eat. Of course, we know that will never happen.

He got up and walked to the kitchen without a shirt. There, his son Gohan was hanging around and lazing about.

"Hey, son!" father greeted son.

"Hi, Dad," son greeted Son. Nothing happened for a while. Gohan then looked at the floor.

"Your chest looks really nice today, dad," while praising Gohan blushed. It took alot of balls to say that to his father. Goku simply nodded.

"I know, son," he replied ungrateful, smiling. Gohan immediately wished he'd just kept his trap shut.

"What's up, guys!" a voice belonging to neither Gohan or Goku said. Goku was caught off guard and looked around quickly, while Gohan casually replied, "Hay, Krillin." The shirtless Saiyan whirled around and saw Krillin right there standing upright to his full height in his kitchen. He was staring up at him with an annoyed expression. "Wow Krillin, where'd you come from!"

"I was here the whole time..." reported a put off Krillin. Today was just one of those days.

The three decided to go out and have some fun sparring. Gohan tried to hit Krillin, but Krillin always evaded his attacks and was more interested in the pursuit of Goku. Him and Krillin seemed to be the only ones sparring while Gohan was left out, or deleted. Finally, bored, the young Saiyan boy surrendered and just stared at the clouds all day while standing nearby.

Krillin and Goku saw him not looking and seized this opportunity. Goku pushed Krillin down onto the grass, got ontop of him and made out with him. They were confident they could do this without Gohan knowing, until Krillin complained loudly. "Goku, you're crushing me!" Goku peered at his son, still Gohan didn't turn his head, thinking they were sparring when he said that. Then when the beautiful bird flew a little close to the pair, distracted, Gohan's eyes followed the bird. That's when he witnessed it. The sight was so traumatic that it gave him cancer and he died right there and then. Goku and Krillin continued to kiss knowing Gohan was finally gone forever.

"Mmph, Krillin, we've been best friends for so long! I always wanted to do this..."

"Heh, me too," Krillin said attempting to sound sexy.

"Look, just don't talk anymore," Goku told him not wanting to hear his annoying voice.

After a while it began to rain outside and the rumble of thunder was heard in the distance. The two childhood friends got up and rushed back into the house, Piccolo hurrying inside after them. When the door shut, there were three men in the house.

"Ugh, I haven't eaten all day!" Goku remembered, his stomach growling. "Me neither," said Krillin. "Me threether," said the Namekien."Cause, you know, I just survive on water."

"Oh my god Piccolo, no one fucking gives a shit!" Goku and Krillin yelled in frustration and hunger. And it was true. No one cared that they had a special sense of hearing, no one cared that their appearances were just one sex, no one cared whether they had a penis or not, but nobody gave a shit that Namekiens survived on water. It was all to draw attention.

"Well you will care in a moment," Piccolo assured them, "because I know how to cook!" Goku and Krillin could not believe he was still talking. "That's right," he told them. "And if you want to eat, I suggest you shut up and stay out the hell out of my way!" It was settled. Goku and Krillin would stay out of the kitchen while Piccolo put his green hands to good use.

Piccolo opened the fridge and spotted a few eggs. He took them and decided to make scrammed eggs. Over the frying pan, he cracked not one, not two, but a few eggs and cooked them to perfection. When they were finished, he called to the two.

Goku, sitting down, sighed and rubbed his forehead. It wasn't always like this. On an average morning, ChiChi stood up, got into the kitchen and made him a sandwich. Now the situation has changed for the worse. Just how long did she plan on sleeping anyways? He wasn't sure what to make of this, having his rival/friend cook for him in place of his wife. Goku stopped. Did this mean Piccolo was to be his new wife from now on?

"Hey, did you even hear Piccolo calling us?" Krillin's voice hit him like water on rock. "Uh...Goku?..." Goku didn't feel good. He was getting dizzy. As he stood up, he wobbled a bit, then fainted, his hunger besting him. His bones made a loud crack upon impact to the floor.

"Oh shit, GOKU!"