Me: Well, here's the last chapter! I wasn't sure how long I wanted this to be, but I wasn't expecting to end it after only four chapters! ;_; I feel sad ending this. I lost inspiration, probably because I haven't been reading much Goku/Vegeta fics lately. Oh well, I guess I can always write a new fic.

Goku's body had been forced to sit in a chair, slumped a bit. He was still unconscious.

Krillin sat at the table eating the eggs while talking to Piccolo. "Yeah so," he said with his mouth full, "just went up and fainted! He must've been real hungry." Krillin continued to chew with his mouth open, every now and then a chunk of food dropping from his mouth only to be eaten again.

Piccolo slammed his hand on the table causing some dishes to jump. "Krillin!" he said, scaring the little guy. "Do you know what this means? Goku's unconscious...meaning...we can do whatever we want with his body!"

Krillin stared at him blankly. "What does that mean?"

"Are you that stupid, Krillin? I'm talking rape here! Rape! Goku! You understand?" He starting shaking the table.

The bald monk couldn't help but stare at Piccolo in disbelief, and was like, "Are you for real?" If he planned on raping Goku, then that meant Piccolo must have a penis. But that couldn't be true...could it?

Piccolo burst out laughing. "I was just playing, nigga!" he joked. Krillin was pissed, and ate the rest of his meal in silence. Piccolo drummed his fingers on the table, bored. "So, I guess we should wake him up?"

Krillin stood up and brought his dishes to the sink, not talking.

"Wow, you're just gonna ignore me?" asked Piccolo, annoyed with his attitude. Krillin headed to some other room to get away from the Namekian. (A/N: I'm not too familar with the structure of ChiChi's house ^^;) That's when Goku started to move a bit, and opened his eyes. Piccolo saw the whole thing happen.

"Goku's awake now!" Piccolo called to Krillin, seeing him still walking away. Krillin gave Piccolo the bird as he kept on walking. Piccolo looked over to Goku, who looked back to him with a hungry look in his eyes. Before Piccolo could even blink, Goku was right there in front of him. He grabbed hold of Piccolo's arm. "Dammit, Goku, that really hurts!" Piccolo complained. "What the-AHHHHHHH!"

Goku ripped off Piccolo's arm violently, and ate it. The green skin tasted of lettuce, and the purple blood inside tasted of eggplant.

"You taste good, Piccolo," Goku complimented, "but I still need more!" He ripped off his other arm, munching on that one as well. Piccolo was in alot of pain, but managed to renegerate both his arms.

He backed away all panicky, and yelled to Krillin, "Hey, a little help here!" which earned him the response, "Go fuck yourself, Piccolo!"

Goku jumped Piccolo, ready for some more organic food. He chomped both arms again, and again, and when Piccolo didn't have enough energy to regenerate anymore, Goku ended up eating him alive. It was crazy. Krillin decided to come back in just then, looking guilty.

"Hey Piccolo, I'm sorry about-Huh? Where's Piccolo?" Krillin questioned. He saw how Goku grinned sinister and mastermind evil, and the answer was written all over his face, in purple.

Krillin gasped. This was not the Goku he knew! "W-who are you!" he asked dramatically, pointing an accusatory finger at him. Goku chuckled. "Heheh," he simply said. That's when Krillin realized it: this couldn't be Goku, this was Kakkarot!

Krillin looked at him in all his evil glory. Kakkarot turned around and made his way out of the room.

"Wait, Kakkarot! Where are you going!" Krillin demanded to know. Kakkarot answered, "I'm going to take a shower."

"Oh...but wait! It's still raining outside!" he reminded him. "You could take a shower out there instead! Eh heh..." Krillin laughed nervously, trying to be his friend. Kakkarot left him.

Bulma was feeling good as she sipped her red slushie while strolling along the wet sidewalk. People were giving her weird and perverted glances, but they didn't bother her in the slightest. She loved being the center of attention. Soon a crowd had formed and surrounded her, staring intently at her. She smiled and decided to entertain them for a bit.

"Look everyone!" Bulma announced. "I'm Vegeta!" She then mocked the Prince by prancing around in circles, imitating a monkey. "Hoo ooh ah ah!"

The people laughed, cheered, and clapped altogether, delighted with her performance. After signing out a few autographs, her fans allowed her to walk again.

She threw her cup to the ground when she was finished with it. She couldn't remember for the life of her where she had gotten that bathensuit from.

Up ahead, a guy was walking quickly, obviously wanting to get home because of the rain. She stepped in front of him, arms spread out, blocking his way. "Excuse me, sir," she began, "Do you think you could help me out with something?" The man glared at her.

"Outta th' way, ya dumb bitch!" he jeered, but Bulma stood her ground.

"Now see here!" she says. "You're gonna help me whether you like it or not!" The man pushed her away without much effort.

This offended her. "Jerk!" she piped.

"Ehh, jus' go kill yerself!" he yelled, and briskly walked away.

Bulma stayed standing there, thinking. And thinking. And sulking. What was his problem? She must have stood there for hours, because just then a house dropped from the sky and landed on her.

"Feh! I'm bored!" King Kai declared loudly. With nothing to do, he proceeded to spy on Kakkarot taking a shower.

"Ohoho! He has more muscle now then the last time I saw him!" He stayed watching. Kakkarot just knew he was spying on him, and was peeved by this.

King Kai, you pervert! the Saiyan telepathically communicated. I already told you, the Namek saga's over! How many times do I have to tell you until you listen? Why the hell are you still spying on me! He promptly got out of the shower and got dressed. Hold on, Goku, I- King Kai blabbed hastily, but it was too late.

I don't want to hear from you ever again!

King Kai sighed. If the Saiyan didn't want him to spy, he had to obey his wishes. This he did, not sure if Kakkarot would ever want him back now. This had to be the worst break-up he's ever been through.

Vegeta flew over the city, shivering as the icy rain hit him, pitter patter pitter patter. If he stayed out any longer, he would surely die just like Bulma had. What was he going to do? He flew some more and spotted a cave.

He wooshed to the cave and made himself a home there, talking with the inhabitants, and making new friends. One of his friends was Stan the stalagmite. He was usually fun to be around, except when he was arguing with his dad, Stan the stalactite. Right now they were arguing, so Vegeta went to some other area of the cave and trained by himself.

A bat was watching him throw punches and kicks to the air. It flew down to Vegeta. "What are you doing?" it asked.

"Training," Vegeta responded, not missing a beat as he continued to punch and kick.

"Training?" the bat asked, sounding like it was a new alien word. "You can call this training, I'll call it stupid, 'cause that's what it makes you look like. Stupid." Vegeta frowned, still throwing punches and kicks. This bat was starting to sound like Bulma, and it was getting on his nerves. He wished the pest would just go away. "Shoo fly, don't bother me."

It went silent for a while, studying Vegeta's movements. Then it exclaimed, "It looks like you're doing the same thing over and over again!"

Vegeta growled and shot an energy blast near the bat. "There, some variation for you." He smirked, but that smirk quickly faded. The bat was all up in his face now.

"You know what? I think that you're a girl who's constantly on her period, and you give people headaches by acting like a brat. You're fucking gay! And stupid!"

Vegeta stared open-mouthed, stunned, as the bat flew away. Soon he had lost his cool, and started shooting energy blasts everywhere. Then he heard laughing, followed by, "You missed!"

"Aaargh!" Vegeta yelled in frustration. He was frustrated, and tired. That bat had put a damper on his day. He laid on the ground and curled up into a ball, feeling weak and helpless.

"Vegeta's power level is dropping fast!" Kakkarot blurted out.

"Oh no!" Krillin faked that he was worried. "I feel so bad for him!"

"I have to see what's wrong with him!" Carrot said determined. "No, Kakkarot!" Krillin tried to make him reconsider. "This is Vegeta we're talking about, remember? You know; the guy who deserves to be castrated, brutally raped and murdered, in that order?" Kakkarot Instant Transmissioned to Vegeta anyway.

So cold... Vegeta shivered. So dark... He rolled onto his back, the rocky surface scraping his skin. It had been a long time since Vegeta had laid down, yet he still hadn't fallen asleep. It was just too cold. He felt something tickle his foot, so he looked down. It was a spider.

"OH SHI-" Jumping to his feet to get it off of him, Vegeta fled to the cave's entrance. The rain had stopped but it was still cold, and nightime.

Oh this just great, he thought bitterly. Now I can't sleep because of that stupid spider! Today had been such a miserable day for the Saiyan Prince. Vegeta looked down to his bathensuit, remembering what Bulma had said about it. "Do you really think you look all that great in that bathensuit? Huh, Vegeta?" He wasn't able to hold it in anymore. He burst into tears.

In between wretched sobs, he cried out, "I do not care what you say! I am beautiful!" He sobbed some more, in a broken voice, and looked up into the night sky. "Do you hear that, woman! I am beautiful! You don't faze me!"

Vegeta couldn't see it, but behind the clouds, there was a full moon out. Yes, the moon was destroyed at the beginning of DBZ, but it was there anyways.

Kakkarot appeared behind the Prince, making a teleporting noise and startling him. Vegeta turned around. "K-Kakkarot why the hell are you here!" he yelled, clutching his own scantily clad body. "To save you," came the reply. Kakkarot took a small step towards Vegeta, breathing like a sexual predator. Vegeta backed away. "S-save me from what!" he retorted.

"From yourself." Kakkarot broke into a run and sprinted over to Vegeta and grabbed him. He spake into his ear, "I don't know why, but I feel strange tonight. I can't control myself. I might even rape you."

Now Vegeta was scared. Without any warning, Kakkarot bit down on his neck. "Owie!" Vegeta squibbled in pain, breaking out of his hold. Kakkarot smirked.

Vegeta gasped. This was not the Kakkarot he knew! "W-who are you!" he asked dramatically, pointing an accusatory finger at him. Kakkarot chuckled. "Heheh," he simply said. That's when Vegeta realized it. This couldn't be Kakkarot; this was Dracula Kakkarot!

Dracula Kakkarot shot a laviscious look at him, licking the blood off his lips. Vegeta instantly knew then that it was time to haul ass out of there. He quickly took to the skies, flying away, but Dracula Kakkarot appeared in front of him. He grabbed Vegeta again. The Prince was claimed as his mate.

"MIIIIIIINES!" Dracula Kakkarot yelled possesively, baring his fangs. Horrified, Vegeta screamed for help, but no one came. They were in the sky for Pete's/God's/Kami's/Dende's sake. Even if someone could hear him, it's not like they could just sprout wings and fly. My point is that Vegeta sucks.

"Let me go, you fool!" Vegeta demanded.

"NEVER!"

And they both vanished from the sky.

When the two Saiyans appeared back at ChiChi's kitchen, they found Krillin dancing to Lady Gaga on the radio. Vegeta covered his ears, screaming in pain. Goku glared at the radio, then at Krillin.

"Turn that shit off!" he commanded. Krillin whined sadly and reluctantly turned the radio off. Vegeta heaved a sigh of relief, uncovering his ears, but Goku was still glaring at Krillin.

"What's wrong with you!" his voice boomed down on him. Krillin twiddled his thumbs.

"W-well I was just," he stammered, then getting distracted by Vegeta's bathensuit, "Hey!" he pointed. "Isn't that Bulma's-" Krillin was suddenly cut short, because he got sent flying through the roof by Goku's Kamehamehamehamehamehameha. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

"He shouldn't have had it turned all the way up," Goku said. "That music was loud enough to wake the dead!"

And speak of the devil; standing in the doorway was Chichi, with a crazed look in her eyes. Her eyes darted to Vegeta, then Goku, then she lost it and lunged for her husband.

"GOKUUUUUU," she cried, charging towards him. Goku easily dodged her by twirling around in a dancing fashion like Micheal Jackson. When Chichi realized that she had grabbed Vegeta instead, she immediately released him, horrified that she had touched a cross-dresser. She turned to Goku, all teary-eyed.

"Why, Goku, why? I thought you loved me!" she sobbed. Goku rubbed the back of his head apologetically.

"Well, I don't," he said lamely. Chichi sniffled at hearing this.

Vegeta shuffled his feet, not knowing what to do. Then again, it's not like Vegeta ever knows what to do. Goku went over to his side, holding him close and nodding slowly at Chichi, like he was saying, 'Yeah that's right bitch, he's mine'.

"So...this means..." she said softly sounding a little angry. "This means, that my husband...he's lesbian!" she wailed.

"Yes Chichi, I am lesbian," he confirmed. "I'm sorry to disappoint you."

Chichi hyperventilated. How could it end like this! The Saiyans cautiously glanced at her, anticipating what her next move might be. She exploded.

With her out of the way, Vegeta looked up to Goku.

"Aishiteru, Kakkaroto," he said, speaking in his native Saiyajinonese language.

Poof!

Vegeta wasn't sure what had just happened. By the way Vegeta sucks!

"Congratulations, Vegeta!" Goku chirped cheerful and happy. "You just said the magic words. Now our tails have grown back!" Vegeta's mind was blown.

The two heard a groan and saw Krillin coming back, somehow managing to survive Goku's Kamewoah. "Ugh...hey guys...what'd I miss..." he greeted, then being the slowpoke that he was, "Hey! Your tails have grown back!"

Goku laughed heartily. Vegeta took a seat and sat down.

"Gather 'roud, ya'll," he said, getting a banjo out of nowhere and strumming a few strings. Goku and Krillin sat near him eagerly.

"Oh boy!" Krillin exclaimed, "I love story time!"

Vegeta chuckled. "Eheh, this ain't no ordinary story, kiddo," he explained.

Strum...

"It's the history of Saiyans," he said seriously, losing the accent and the banjo. "You'll find this interesting, Kakkarot, as you yourself are a Saiyan, and should therefore care about the history of your race."

"Whatever," Goku replied.

"Us Saiyans fight constantly to get stronger. Fight fight fight. In DBZ, the full moon gives Saiyans the ability to turn into a bigass ape. In fanfction, the full moon causes Saiyans to claim their mate in the mating season. A ritual, if you will."

Goku was confused. "Huh?"

"Isn't that your reason for biting me earlier, Kakkarot?"

"No," Goku answered like he was stating the obvious, "I just did that 'cause I was bored."

"No you didn't! You did that because of the moon!" Vegeta was so sure of himself.

Goku threw his arms up. "Ugh! Does everything I do have to be for a reason!"

"Hold on here," Krillin interrupted. "You're saying Goku claimed you? That you're mates now? What the frig?"

Vegeta explained it to him. "It isn't as odd as you think it is. On Planet Vegeta, having same-sex mates wasn't uncommon. In fact, it's even possible for male Saiyans to get pregnant!"

"Okay, now that's just bullshit!" Krillin accused.

"But it's truuuuuueeeeeeee!" Vegeta cried, desperate. But Krillin wouldn't believe him.

Later that night when Krillin had said his goodbyes and left, Goku swept Vegeta off his feet and carried him to the bedroom.

"My prince!" Vegeta giggled, wrapping his arms around the back of Goku's neck. He was thrown to the bed as Goku stripped.

"I'll make this the best night ever for you, Vegeta," Goku promised, smiling.

"Kakkarot, please be gentle with me," Vegeta requested. "If you're rough with me, I'll start crying because I'll remember that time when Frieza raped me."

Goku's eyes widened. "You were raped? Vegeta, I am so sorry!"

"It's alright," he assured him. "At least he only raped me once, but Zarbon raped me twice."

Goku trembled, the fear evident in his voice. "I dare ask, Vegeta, just how many people raped you?"

"Well let's see," he replied, counting his fingers. "Frieza, Zarbon, the Ginyu Force, your son Gohan, Bulma...that bitch...my father, my Super Saiyan self, and Trunks. That's twelve."

Goku smirked deviously. "Well, get ready to make that thirteen," he said.

"Kakkarot, please! No!"

"Kidding!" Goku teased. Vegeta waved a hand gayly at him, smiling all the while. "Oh you!"

So after that night, Vegeta and Goku eventually got married, and many years passed as they celebrated their love. 2012 came and went. They were getting quite old, and their hair turned gray. Finally, Vegeta was the first one to croak, Goku following soon after. They traveled to King Kai's and made his life a living hell.

"Get off my planet!" he would scream at the two.

FIN