Spring Break finally. More time to write chapters and play Garry's Mod.
Anyhow, I'm getting scared here; the number of readers every chapter is really starting to drop, I'd really want to know what you think is wrong with my writing so I can fix it! And this in the form of reviews please.
To those who have already reviewed:
9 reviews in one chapter? Hellya! I love you guys so much. Reviewing is the best motivator a fanfic writer could ever get.
Chapter 9:
The morning slowly crept in, replacing the clear, star-speckled night with a much more bleak, overcastted dominance. Toothless was wide awake, constantly scanning his surroundings for any threat that would delay, or even deter, his rider's recovery. The Night Fury stayed resolute to ensure that Hiccup would have the best conditions possible to get better, and no puny woodland creature was going to jeopardize it under his watch. Even though determined as he was, Toothless was heavily plagued with exhaustion, and sleepiness. But even if he was given the chance to sleep without leaving Hiccup defenceless, he doubt he could, with the mounting concerns and worries that kept jabbing in his conscience.
Toothless shifted uncomfortably, resettling away from a small pointed rock that ached in his side. A sound of rumbling suddenly shook the air, sending Toothless's ear flaps straight back in instinct. A growl escaped his throat as Toothless surveyed the clearing, looking for the source of the odd noise that was disturbing his rider's rest. A second rumble rung through the air, leading the Night Fury to gaze down upon himself in embarrassment, realizing that the rumbling was in fact, him. Another rumble emanated from his stomach, now along with the gnawing sensation of hunger.
The Night Fury groaned in despondency, forlorn that if he only didn't have this human to care for, he could go and get food without any prob-
No, Hiccup isn't a burden upon him! If fate had given another human from the boy's village the decision to be merciful, or slaughterous when he had crashed into Berk by the rope-stone contraption, it would no doubt, have been the latter. He should actually be thankful for meeting this unique human, for not only he had spared his life, but he'd also released him from the queen's control AND restored him to the wondrous freedom of flight! Not to mention, the boy had sacrificed his leg to do so… Toothless shook his head in guilt, ashamed that he would even think the boy was a hindrance.
Hours went by, Toothless still doing what he could to comfort Hiccup, by keeping him warm with his wing and body, and placing his front limb over the boy in a protective fashion Hiccup had called 'hugging'. Toothless couldn't really tell if his human liked the behaviour or not; speech-wise, he said in the morning to pull his arm off, but at night, he pulled closer to the Night Fury and felt as though he was much calmer when he had his limb slung over him. Humans, odd as can be. Scoffed the Night Fury.
The dragon fell into a trance, reminiscing in his fondest memories. He remembered the time when he was a wee hatchling in the nest, playing around with his brother and sisters under the careful watch of their mother. The time where he first met Hiccup… The good times they had shared, soaring through the air without a care in the world, the times they just lazed in the sun, napping while he provided Hiccup with a potent shade from the summer blaze. Oh how he missed flying with Hiccup… Even a few days subdued to the cold, unforgiving earth was enough to drive any dragon mad. And this was made even worse without his rider… His memories soon flashed over to fish, or more specifically, eating fish. He tried to get away from such thoughts, but they kept persisting, disobeying his will. Thinking of fish seemed detrimental to his whole plan of 'ignoring his hunger' it displayed so colourfully in his mind, and seemed to quell his boredom.
But soon, his hunger got to the point where the Night Fury knew something had to be done. Hunger in dragons had a much different effect than on humans; as dragons got hungrier, their fires begin to dim, and their internal temperature starts to lower in proportion. Eventually in reaction, their bodies cut off almost all heat from reaching their outer scales in an effort to be more efficient with calories.
Once this happened, the Night Fury knew he wouldn't be able to keep Hiccup warm, and in his conditions, that would be fatal. But how could he get food without leaving Hiccup in the autumn temperatures?
Abruptly an idea popped into the clever dragon's head; he could move Hiccup into the cave, then go find food! But then, the dragon's expression fell into a state of despair, wishing that he didn't have to move him.
But the hunger… If he didn't get food now, Hiccup would freeze to death! The dragon slowly picked himself off the ground, careful to not disturb his rider's rest.
The dragon's eyes drew back to Hiccup's. The teen usually looked peaceful as he slept, but not in his current state; his face was even paler than yesterday, and he started to sweat, which at this point, he couldn't tell if it was a sign of him getting better, or worse. Toothless felt sadness and remorse for his rider, wishing he could do something, but what could he do? The best thing would be getting him into the cave, then quickly running to hunt for food.
With final self-assurances that filling his stomach would be best for both rider and dragon, the Night Fury's teeth popped out of their sockets as he carefully reached down and clamped on Hiccup's already ripped autumn jacket. He gently lifted the boy off the ground, trying to not break his bones on top of his sickness. The Night Fury cautiously inched closer the cave, paw, by paw. From Toothless's perspective, Hiccup felt like a limp vine hanging from his teeth; swaying around with the motions of the Night Fury. He wished there was another, more gentler way of bringing him to the significantly safer cave, but with only a few stubby claws and one tail, there wasn't much of a better alternative.
Just before entering the cave another idea popped into his head, and Toothless lightly lowered Hiccup to the ground before releasing the freshly slime covered jacket. In his maw, Toothless accumulated a miniscule amount of green gas, just enough for the purpose he intended it for.
A quick ignition, and a steady stream of blue-indigo flames burned into the cave for a split second; warming the cave into a much more favourable condition for his human companion. Again, the dragon picked up the boy with intense care, and lowered him onto the now radiantly warm cave floor. He quietly exited the cave, confident that his rider would be safe while he went to hunt for food.
As he trotted off, the gory thoughts of woodland mammals coming to find a fresh, warm human for lunch wandered into his mind creating a vivid mental picture, but he immediately dismissed this, knowing that his scent was strongly centralized around the pond and no small animal would want to even come close to a dragon's habitat.
Suddenly, a rustle in the bushes caught his attention and Toothless's head snapped towards the source, catching a glimpse of a delicious rabbit, ripe for the picking. With the speed of lightening and death itself, he leapt into the bush, chasing it further, and further from the pond.
In no time at all, Toothless had caught five rabbits and a deer, and was bounding back towards his rider with a satisfied grin, prominently displayed on his face. Hanging from his mouth, was a sixth rabbit, which he planned to share with Hiccup once he recovered from whatever illness he had. The dragon happily trotted back past the pond, but stopped abruptly to sniff the air. A mix of odd scents wafted through the air but one distinct odour roused his attention, noxious and foul, the smell of… eel? The toxic fumes of eel wasn't nearly strong enough here to cause dizziness and disorientation in dragons, but it was still strong enough to make the Night Fury scowl in disgust.
Eels can't just crawl out of the sea and walk onto the island, so that must mean… Hiccup is awake! He must've gone fishing and caught a bunch of delicious fish while Toothless was out!
The overjoyed Night Fury charged into the cave, predicting inside will be his rider, fully-recovered, alongside with a large pile of Icelandic Cod waiting for him! He enthusiastically peered inside the cave, but to his horror, the only thing inside the cave was the artificial fin lying unceremoniously on the floor, and the only sound was the thud of the rabbit hitting against the lukewarm stone floor.
****LINEBREAK***
"Oh Oliver, look at him! He's thin as a toothpick…" The woman said, appalled to have found a young boy left alone in the wilderness, and in this condition no less!
"We're lucky to be able to slip in before that damned beast came back to devour him."
A small groan emitted from the unknown Viking, prompting a gasp from the man's spouse. "We must hurry to the village elder, he looks like he won't last much lon-"
An ear-splitting roar suddenly pierced through the forest, causing the couple to cringe upon hearing the deafening cry.
"That Night Fury sounds pissed." Oliver obliviously noted.
"What do you expect? We stole its hard-earned meal!" The woman shot back, gesturing to the boy's jacket, tattered by claw marks.
"D-huff-Doesn't look like any boy I've seen from our village." Oliver panted as he jogged up the hill side with Hiccup in his arms.
A second roar sliced through the air, but significantly louder, and much more fierce. The couple's eyes snapped behind them, praying to Odin to not see an extremely enraged Night Fury bounding towards them, opting to reclaim its meal. Two sighs of relief came from the two, realizing that their luck held and nothing was chasing them except for the cold autumn wind brushing against their backs.
"Of all the things-huff-, to save a boy from, it just had to be a Night Fury…" The man groaned, not happy with the fact that they didn't just steal from any dragon, they had to steal from the extremely dangerous and rare Night Fury. "And I doubt the chief will be very pleased to see him as you are Mary."
"Oh come on, Oliver, have a heart! He's just a boy."
"Mary, you're lucky he's not heavy or I would've made you carry him." The man playfully threatened his wife, knowing well he would never do that, no matter how heavy the boy was.
Short of breath, the pair had finally surmounted the hill, and their small village was just at the bottom, tantalizingly close. They sped up as they descended, hoping it wasn't too late to save this unnamed boy.
****LINEBREAK***
The Night Fury frantically thrashed around the pond, desperately trying to find the scent of his human. To his mounting frustration, the only scent he could pick up was the stench of eel! Anger swelled in the dragon's mind, irrationalizing this thoughts. Toothless leapt high to low, sniffing furiously on anything that might have a small trace of human, but the foul scent of eel kept overpowering any trace he could find! Once he found the creature that had taken his rider, well, it'll wish that it had never walked upon this earth…
Worry and concern sparked in his conscience, demanding to know why he had left his rider for the primitive need for food. A Night Fury could live weeks without a single morsel, and his will gave out within a few hours! Was he this weak? Would he just abandon his rider for food…? The familiar feeling of guilt started to seep in, glowering his every move. He quickly sniffed a certain footprint, and his eyes widened at the scent his brain had processed. It contained scent of human, but not just his human, two others! In front of this footprint, was another, and another. But eel was prominent in the others, dampening his olfactory senses.
The enraged Night Fury raced through the line of tracks, treating these unidentified humans as though they were his weak prey from his lunch. The footprints led up a hillside, but just before hitting the apex of the hill, Toothless halted to a stop. His senses seemed to melt as he got closer to the top, forcing him to take a step backward. The dragon gazed to the left, and noticed a large pile of eel, emitting its usual noxious stenches. To his right, it was a similar case; piles of eels were spread alongside the hill, effectively forming a barrier that no dragon would dare to pass, in fear of its effects.
The dragon didn't know what to do. He couldn't just jump through it! Any closer and the smell would knock him out! Toothless prowled along the hillside, looking for a small breach in the line, but to no success. These pack of humans are smart, using eels as a dragon deterrent, but what could they possibly want with Hiccup? They couldn't eat them… so what was their reason to take him?
Rage and fury reigned dominant in Toothless, swearing to the gods that if the humans did have a malicious intent with his rider, then no human within the false-safe confines of their village will be let go unharmed.
Lots of Toothless thinking time, and a butt-load of Toothless emotions! Why? Because, its Hiccup, his rider, his human companion. Haven't once felt like you were going to kill someone for doing something terrible to you? Same with Toothless! The terrible fear of losing Hiccup once again turned his thoughts irrational, but the only question is, is it temporary, or will he go through with his intents?
I read this chapter, and felt as though my writing style seems… technical (AKA: BORING). I'm not really sure if its just me... or are you feeling the same? So read and review and tell me what you think.