Chapter 2

It was an understatement to say Michael didn't sleep well that night. He had lost his anchor. He drifted in and out of sleep. He understood why other operatives had killed themselves while under Anson's control. With Fiona, everything surrounding this had been beyond difficult, but she gave him reasons to live. Without her, he felt adrift in a hurricane. His sanity that night was only kept in place because he worried that Fiona would be Anson's next pawn. That he would use the leverage against her.

He met Anson at the Dinner Key Marina before. dawn Anson sat down and played his mind games. Apparently, Anson didn't know that Michael and Fiona had a falling out. Michael didn't know how long he could keep this to himself. He hoped it would be his lifetime. He was given a new operation and they parted.

Michael opened the door to the Charger and found a note on the front seat. "Meet me at Matheson State Park. Past the marina. Far side of the park."

"Does this ever end?" He thought to himself. Michael pulled out of the parking lot on to Bayshore Dr. He headed down Grand Ave. through the worst sections of Coconut Grove. His mind was lost. Michael was on autopilot. He reached Matheson, paid the beach fee. He found spot from the note. He silently prayed that this was nothing more than a quiet meeting. Michael got out of car and began to walk to the front of the car. He quickly checked out the area. As his back was turned, the back seat of the Charger popped forward and Fiona emerged from the passenger side.

"I know you are distracted, Michael, but you really need to do a better job at paying attention." Fiona could see a silent sigh come from Michael's body.

"What are you doing, Fi. I thought you were done with me."

"Well, may be I am and may be I'm not. We need to talk, Michael."

They walked silently toward the beach. One of the reasons Michael was first attracted to Fiona was because he never knew what to expect. She was his blind spot. Right now, he didn't know what to expect or hope.

They arrived at the water's edge. The sun was rising. "You had an early morning meeting with Anson. How did it go?"

"How do you think it went? Same old, same old. Fi, you wanted to kill me last night. Now, what? Are you planning on killing me? Or do you want me to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness? I'll do it. I have no pride left."

Fiona stood there for a while. "You really should have brought some coffee, Michael."

He said nothing, opting for watching the water.

"I don't know why I came back. You used me Michael. You used Sam. Even worse, you used your mom. I," Fiona stopped trying to think of why she was really here.

"I need to know, Michael. You need to think about this before you answer. And one way or another you are going to help me start a new life with or without you."

"What is it, Fi?"

"What I am to you?"

For a man with a great ability to manipulate words and actions, Michael was slow to respond. He didn't want to screw this up. He knew she would walk away from him and never return.

"I once told you how hard it was to be with you. That you pushed all my buttons, but you knew all the parts that I hid. Fi, you came after Larry had reconstructed me. I know that I was placed with Larry because they could play my relationship with my father into making me amoral. Ever moment I was with you, I changed. All of the shit I did. All of things I buried, couldn't face, I had to face with you. That's why I left the first time. It was never about being with you Fi. It was about who I had been."

He stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts. "When I was asked to assemble a team to go after management. I knew I couldn't tell you. I knew you would come because of how I left. I guess I was like Anson. I played our history to get you to help me. You came and I thought I could keep you at a distance. But, I didn't want to. I was having fun. It was the first time since Belfast. I wasn't waking up ever night in a cold sweat. And you kept pushing me. I liked who I was becoming. It was because of you. Who I was when this started and who I was becoming were two different people. I didn't realize it until I almost lost you that I was lost without you."

"Is that why you didn't fight me last night?"

"I guess. I would rather died by your hand than any other."

Fiona fell to the sand. Michael looked down. She looked so vulnerable and alone. She hung her head and played with a stick in the sand. It was unlike her. Michael sat down and didn't know what to say.

"What do we do now, Michael? What do you want?"

"I don't think it's about what I want. What do you want?"

"I want you."